The people have spoken in survey form (you can still take it! one question!). It was cool to see the responses, and our beloved Beverly Hills, 90210 won by a landslide, but there was significant interest in other areas as well, so none of those are excluded. All this means is that I'll make the Bev Hills effort more than once a year!
I can't promise any sort of chronological order since, let's face it, I've watched the whole series a lot and sometimes I just want to skip whole eras. And I've explained that, unlike most BH90210 nostalgia blogs and podcasts and message boards, I am unabashedly pro-Kelly Taylor, and to stay that way I need to avoid some of the Brandon/Kelly episodes, since I found her insufferably sanctimonious during that time. (I will take doing a crap thing to a friend as a teenager in the Summer of Deception any day over smug-faced sanctimony)
Nonetheless, I happened to be doing an episodes fly-by and fell on one where my girl is not at her best. I'll cover it anyway.
It's the premiere of the seventh season and David is directing a video starring Donna, since she is the hottest thing to ever happen, according to her actress's EP father (early shades of Trump??). I can't quite remember what was going on here, other than David and Donna working together as... what, music producers? And David is a director? How does that make sense? David doesn't give a shit about anything Donna is saying about "at least we have each other," and she gives some pained looked in response. It's a day ending in Y.
New Season 7 credits, killing me with Kelly's bad hair. And Joe E. Tata is main cast now.
Beach apartment. Kelly's hair is actually growing out okay. Claire shows up looking like she wrote and invented the 90s.
Brandon called to say he and Steve are staying in San Antonio and Claire is surprised to miss him this much. I don't blame her, since Steve was my least favorite character until (a) Season 10 and (b) my rewatch of the whole dang thing in which he's utterly dopey and endearing and less of a smugshit than anyone else ever was on this show.
Cut to Texas, where they try to make it look like it's 1951. The tow truck driver is very impressed that Brandon and Steve must know all the movie stars, so that's not condescending at all. PRIESTLEY'S FROM CANADA, please. The mechanics make "fruits and nuts" jokes toward Steve and Brandon, and Brandon talks about Steve's tongue in his ear or something. Allies! Ha. Steve wants to call Claire and Brandon says, "Be gentle, she's a small girl," which is not as cute as anyone thinks.
Brando calls Val, who is feeling sorry for herself because she's like 20 or 21 and lives in a mansion and owns a popular club in Los Angeles, and you guys: SHE'S SMOKING POT!!!! Terrible! Now we know she's still "bad."
Brando meets a black girl in the library in Texas so here we go. He's going to teach us all by being a white savior in a not-at-all condescending storyline.
Kelly needs to find an internship for her major. Val shows up where Kel and Claire are, and is somehow offended that Kelly hasn't contacted her all summer. These two have the dumbest pissing contests over the years. They openly hate each other, but somehow Kelly's a bitch for not visiting. Val announces she'll wait till Kelly gets a new man so she can go after him, and they smirk at each other because they are awake.
Mariah's boss at the library is super-rude to her, and Brando's all over it, savior-ing.
Val meets the infamous accountant Kenny. A lot of this is hard to really respond to as if I'm not seeing it for the thousandth time with knowledge of the future, but Kenny is a DUD. Why did this show think this was the best Val could do?
Donna's hair is the worst and their musician is a bad UK stereotype, because we haven't done enough regional cliches yet this episode. He remembers Kelly bizarre Seventeen Magazine cover, and she agrees to hang out a bit to help Donna keep the client.
Brandon is douching it up with Mariah, who is played by Maia Campbell who blissfully had a good sitcom career after this humiliation, and they're talking about former relationships.
Honestly by Season 6, this really turned into a daytime soap format at night -- the scenes are so short. This really depresses me about the whole genre. ANYWAY. The English idiot is taping his video on the beach and mainly cares about whether or not Kelly approves. David is outraged at Donna for distracting the artist with Kelly. Taz! That's the artist. Ugh, this show. Was there a stereotype they ever ignored?