I appreciate a good Friday cliffhanger as much as the next soap fan, and I suppose that you could argue that Zach and Kendall's reunion on Friday's All My Children was exactly that: a cliffhanger kept purposely short so that you tune in on Monday to see an actual reunion go down, and I'd maybe even buy that if commercials, and the episode description on my DVR and on ABC.com didn't say "Kendall reunites with Zach", as if that were the episode's major focus.
It was six seconds!
Kendall: Zach! Zach! Zach! Zach, don't! Zach, don't! Please, please, please, don't.
Zach: Hey, hey. You all right?
Kendall: Yes, yes, yes, I am now. I am now.
When the episode was half over and there was still no reunion in sight, I started to panic and wondered if this was some special two hour episode, which, naturally, horrified me. I believe the phrase "Egads, I can't do this for two hours" may have been verbalized at some point, because the bulk of Friday's show was...well, it was All My Children.
David threw an enormous party to announce to his worst enemies, ex-wife and daughter that he's dying (even though he isn't really, and I have to say that I am disappointed that someone so diabolical is pulling such an amateur stunt! This is the stuff of young vixens, not dastardly adults) and to give them gifts to make up for the myriad ways in which he ruined their lives.
Adam Chandler accurately reflects my take on the proceedings.
When the AMC writing staff learned there would be a party, they seemed to say, "This is excellent, because we can now take advantage of rehashing lame stories and introducing poorly conceived new ones!"
And when the AMC wardrobe department saw that there would be a party, they seemed to say, "OH, YES! Finally, an excuse to use all of these hideous clothes!" because most of the fashion choices at this shindig were not okay.
I say "most" because there was one person who looked completely stunning, and if I were her, I'd wear my hair like this all the time and never take this dress off.
"Why, hello, fellow Target shoppers! Don't you just love my amazing sparkly dress? Excuse me, you're blocking the Post-It notes..."
When David was giving his presents out to make amends, and he gave Amanda full custody of Trevor, I was holding out hope that he'd give her a second gift. The gift of brains, because as much as I adore the girl, she's been so dim lately that she probably shouldn't walk around unsupervised.
Amanda: I just keep thinking about how this is David's last Christmas, you know, the only one he's ever gonna spend with his son.
You pretty, gullible dimwit.