Do you sometimes wonder whether General Hospital is some kind of social experiment, in which we as viewers are being tested as to how much horribly crappy un-soapiness we can be subjected without going postal and storming the studio? It seems like a risky strategy, but it makes far more sense than the alternative possibility, which is that there are people putting this show on the air who actually think it's good. I've exhausted so many adjectives describing GH in recent years, but my thesaurus is now empty. I'm just exhausted by the stupidity.
I want to go rescue all the actors from this awful writing. We could have a giant happy hour with a drinking contest about who was subjected to the stupidest storyline: "I got shot in the uterus!" "I had to act like Sonny was still sexy!" "I had a blog war with my neurosurgeon boyfriend!" "I called sexual assault adultery!" "I had 27 different life stories and I still never asked who my father is!" "I was a wisecracking ghost in tracksuit!" "I had to pretend being married to Carly was a good thing!" "I had to act like Australian and British are the same!" "I was simultaneously a hitman AND the hero of the show!" "I miscarried a pillow!" "I was a tumor!" "I had to seem like I wasn't attracted to Lucky!"
Who would win?! Oh, dear readers, let's get real: This is General Hospital. There are no winners here.
The best thing to happen in weeks was a rerun yesterday because of Memorial Day, in that no new offensive or stupid material could be foisted on the viewing public. Happy holiday weekend, America.
My god, the saga of Michael and The Really, Really, Reeeaaaallly Long Goodbye just about did me in. There were some good performances, but I swear there were about eight consecutive episodes of people sitting by Michael's bedside, grieving him and cursing the mob. You'd think the latter point would perk me up, but 1) it is impossible to be perked up in the midst of a story about a 12-year-old in a permanent vegetative state after getting shot in the head, and 2) I know damned well there will be no long-term anti-mob consequences from all this, because I'm not new.
Anyway, Carly and Jason said goodbye to Michael.
Laura Wright and Steve Burton were really good in those scenes.
Bobbie said goodbye to Michael.
Jackie Zeman was good (if a bit immobile) in that scene.
Sonny said goodbye to Michael.
Maurice Benard was . . . there.
And after Carly and Sonny transported their adolescent son to a long-term care facility where he will spend the rest of his life (or the few months until he is miraculously cured and SORAS'd), they did what any two reasonable adults in horrible pain with loving significant others at home waiting for them would do.
I have to put this after the jump, you guys, because I wouldn't want some innocent 'net-surfing person to happen upon these photos without intending to land there. It's just not fair.