Guys, I have questions. And many of them could probably be answered with either "Maybe you should have watched General Hospital at all last week instead of letting episodes pile up into a mountain of soap opera badness that gave you legitimate anxiety every time you glanced at your DVR" or "because the writers just...don't. Or won't. Or can't", but on the off chance that anyone has any REAL insight as to what's happening in Port Charles, I'd be wholly appreciative!
1. Why are Sonny and Shawn framing Heather for Franco's murder? Like, Shawn has failed at literally every single assassination attempt he's ever been assigned. He can't kill someone when he's six inches away from them. So needlessly complicating something that he's shown zero affinity for seems staggeringly stupid, even for Sonny. Think about what I just said--this is so dumb that it's out of character for Sonny "Duh Face" Corinthos. This is some Bermuda Triangle shit, guys.
2. Do you think the writing staff would accept bribes in exchange for a solemn pledge to lay off of baby, baby switch and babynapping stories for an extended period of time? I'd even settle for six months--I'm not crazy enough to believe they'd be able to do it for a year/years, because what good is a woman of childbearing age if she's not involved in a childbearing story?!
3. Was anyone really clamoring for the return of Olivia's visions?
4. What are the odds that there is a big secret behind Lucas's refusal to practice medicine? Will it be a secret lamer than Steven's Memphis murder?
5. Has there ever, on national television, been anything uglier broadcast to millions (thousands? Dozens?) of viewers than Carly's necklace from Franco?