General Hospital has been, as evidenced by the dearth of recent posts, the kind of dull that just defies description (not that anyone is clamoring to ask me for my incisive thoughts on life in Port Charles; my GH watching is a topic of conversation that people very rarely address, I guess to protect me from the public embarrassment of being known as a GH viewer). I just...I see the actors and I see them acting (and, in some cases, overacting) and all I hear is elevator music. I might be MORE interested in elevator music than I am in anything going on on the show right now! I can't remember anything that happens from scene to scene, because my brain won't let me process it. "No, Mallory, you don't want to know about this because it is terrible."
But I DO have questions about some of what transpired this afternoon. There are no answers to these questions--only more questions, like "A group of adults thought this was a good idea? Adult humans?"
- Were we supposed to...LAUGH at the shenanigans with Franco today? Like, the sex noises in the beginning of the show and Carly's increasing jealousy? Was that supposed to be...funny? It was, wasn't it? It's funny that Franco, a serial killer, is gainfully employed and that the audience, who is innocent, is forced to think of him being involved in sexual situations? Like, the good kind of funny and not the "This is incredibly awkward, so I am going to laugh a high-pitched laugh because my body physically cannot help it" or the "I am laughing like a egomaniacal cartoon villain because I am just tuning all of this out and imagining a show without Franco?" I know that some people have been successfully able to separate James Franco Franco from Roger Howarth Franco and they are able to just enjoy Roger Howarth's charm and I can truly and genuinely say I am jealous of those people, because I hate that I have turned into an irrational soap crazy about this. But I hate him even more than I hate my status as an utter loon. Just hate, everywhere.
- If the show is only an hour long, how was it possible for Silas and Sam's breakup to last triple that? Did they break the space time continuum?
- Did this REALLY happen? Did Shawn make a move to shoot down a helicopter (a move that would have ended futilely because Shawn is terrible at everything he has ever attempted) that, if it crashed, could have caused a massive amount of destruction and Sonny's reasoning for ordering him not to shoot down the helicopter was "No, don't shoot! The helicopter crashes? That baby could be mine!"? Did that...happen? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's always nice to have it confirmed that Sonny is human garbage, but that's yuck. Not to mention, that if this baby isn't Sonny's, it's Morgan's, which still makes it's Sonny's family, which is even MORE yuck and now I have a headache.