Serial Drama

Soap Blog Coalition

Should SOAPnet produce a splashy Santa Barbara miniseries or movie? Jamey lays out the evidence why he thinks they should. (Daytime Confidential)

Check out the latest rant on the PVB regarding how low can SOAPnet go. Do you agree with Kathy, has the station has "jumped the shark"? (Pine Valley Bulletin)

As the malpractice suit/murder mystery on General Hospital trudges along, we've been entertained by some great quote worthy moments, here are some of the best (Scrubs Hub)

In their latest Soap Opera Digest column, the Serial Drama girls focus on veteran characters. Some shows, like All My Children and The Young & The Restless, use them well and give them great stories, and then there's General Hospital and what they have done with Luke Spencer. (Serial Drama)

I was compelled to pause the DVR after being so totally outraged over the scene that took place at the Chancellor estate. If Neil genuinely recognized the fact that Mrs. "C" was in trouble, he should have called 911 immediately. (Soap Opera Examiner)

Lisa LoCicero just got a contract on General Hospital. Will it matter? Either way, we're happy! (Wubs.net)

Subtlety Is Not This Show's Strong Suit

Hey, guys! How are you feeling? Do you have pounding headaches? So do I. I think it's a direct result of being hit in the head with the ten tons of foreshadowing the General Hospital writers threw at us today:

Sonny, to Jason, about Michael, in a surprisingly well acted scene that marks the second time this week that I have complimented Steve Burton's performance and regarded such as the highlight of the entire show, which leads me to believe that it is 1997 again and nobody told me. Oh wait, it's not, because half of the characters on canvas in 1997 are dead now: As far as I'm concerned, he's my firstborn.

Because Michael's NOT Sonny's firstborn, remember? Both because he is not Sonny's biological son and because Sonny doesn't know that his firstborn son was actually born to Olivia and is named Dante and who is, we're all sure, going by the name Dominic and who spent a few days hiding in Sonny's own house. Oh the drama!

And wait--there's more! Sonny's firstborn actually held a gun on Sonny's "firstborn" (and ex-wife and one of the children that he seems like he can do without). CAN YOU HANDLE THIS EXTREME ORIGINALITY AND ENTERTAINMENT?

We are in for a long, long summer.

Our Latest Soap Opera Digest Column

My Take
By Becca Thomas

I am not anti-villain. I love a soapy bad guy or girl. I have adored DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Victor Kiriakis and his malevolent deeds since acid-washed jeans were popular the first time around. And one of Victor’s worst enemies, Stefano DiMera? Who doesn’t root for him, at least a little bit, every time he comes back from the dead to wreak havoc? Then there’s GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Helena Cassadine, who is a kidnapper, brainwasher, and murderer many times over. Yet I love her! I could go on for pages with examples of my solidly pro-villain stance. And I also understand that even good guys have to have some villainous qualities now and then, to keep things interesting. But lately with Luke Spencer, GENERAL HOSPITAL has replaced what was a layered and interesting sometime villain with an unrepentant jerk who has lost all rootability in my eyes.

We Should Petition To Change The Name of Port Charles To Dullsville

Nikolas: Honestly, who writes this stuff?

Oh, Nik. That question weighs heavily on my soul on a daily basis. My theory is cyborgs. It has to be cyborgs, right? That would go a long way in explaining General Hospital's complete lack of logic and emotion.

(Nice shot at horror movie writers, by the way. Sure, movies like Pumpkinhead and Slumber Party Massacreare terrible but I have to tell you, Jason Voorhees came back from the dead, like, eighteen times and none of those resurrections were as awful and insulting as that of Diego Alcazar)

So Mayor Floyd was arrested for the murder of his mistress despite, as far as I can tell, the police never actually, like, investigating the crime and the big story of the day was that...he had a one night stand with Alexis? And people are calling for her to resign? This show has never been particularly good at portraying the media (remember when Sam was basically a bystander during the Metro Court crisis and she got a show and was hilariously famous? The paparazzi followed Jason! I hated those days when I was living them, but now I long for them), but this is silly, even for them.

Especially because, as Alexis pointed out to a hilariously uncomfortable Patrick:

Alexis: It was one night. It wasn't an affair. It was one night. And it was the night that I just happened to walk in on my husband having sex with my daughter and found out that I had cancer, so I was a little out of sorts, and apparently stupid.

Yeah. Remember when Alexis was heartbroken, despondent, hacking up her lung and weeks away from a coma? She totally had time to have sex with the mayor! Which means that all of those times that Ric tried to deflect attention off of himself and his terrible decision to have sex with his stepdaughter by hysterically accusing Alexis of having a fling with the mayor, he was actually right. Yay for character ruining rewrites!

General Hospital SHOCKER

In a twist that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, saw coming, Ric Lansing, treated so often by the writers as either a complete afterthought or a convenient scapegoat for terrible things, left Port Charles in a dignified way. He wasn't humiliated yet again by Jason or Sonny. His unconscious body wasn't again traipsed around town. And, most shockingly of all, left town ALIVE.

This is the first time in years that General Hospital has surprised me...aside from the surprise I have on a daily basis about the lengths the show will go to to be terrible, but you know what I mean.

Ric: I'd love nothing more than to take you down, Ms. Miller, but unfortunately, I'm leaving Port Charles.

Patrick: When did that come about?

Ric: Let's just say, I got an offer I couldn't refuse.

Hee! And Rick Hearst got an offer from a soap who recognizes the fact that he's crazy talented and will presumably write for him, not letting him sit on the backburner unless the script calls for mustache twirling villainy or losing an argument against Sonny.

Claudia: Where are you going? 

Ric: Los Angeles. It's interesting work...and it's completely legal.

And he's too right about the, um, interesting aspect of his upcoming work in LA. His character on B&B is named Whipple Jones III! That is endlessly entertaining, far more so than most of GH.

The character of Ric was poorly written and underdeveloped, and completely saved by Rick Hearst, who was far too good for this show. And, as Beth R. pointed out, his goodness was rewarded with the show taking him out of the opening credits before his last episode. All together now: This effing show...

Soap Blog Coalition

Ah the power of a recession! With daytime in an increasingly perilous state, several soap operas seem to finally be willing to pull out all the stops to attract new viewers and/or mainstream buzz by going gay, puritanical watchdog groups and skittish sponsors be damned. (Daytime Confidential)

Lots of Spoilers and Rumors out there this week. Is Ethan working for Helena? Will Jason and Johnny work together again? (GHOFS)

While Amanda longs to have her baby back and doesn't realize he's right under her nose, flashback to 1997 when Maria was in a similar situation. Only it was she who thought her baby was dead while Erica held on to little Maddie, passing her off as Russian adoptee Sonya. (Pine Valley Bulletin)

On the off chance that someone should ask them why they hate Ryan Lavery, the Serial Drama girls have started to compile a list of the myriad reasons for their loathing. (Serial Drama)

On a soapless summer weekend, we are more than often blessed with good weather which typically allows us to take a break and simply forget about the soaps for a couple of days. Find out how to survive the soapless weekends (Soap Opera Examiner)

It's nice to see Robin getting back to basics since returning home to Patrick and Emma last month. (The Scrubs Hub)

Sometimes the Wubs is all about the fun behind the soaps--check out some Nancy Lee Grahn and Brandon Barash tweets, fun tidbits and a little bit of Prime Time Dish. (Wubs.net)

Into the Woods

In Mean Girls, when Coach Carr was teaching sex ed, he told the students not to have sex because they will get chlamydia and/or pregnant, and then die. I feel like sex education in Port Charles should address similar downsides to sexual activity, such as

• you will get pregnant and have a miscarriage
• you will get pregnant and face some sort of mortal peril
• you will have a baby who eventually grows up to be shot or otherwise held at gunpoint
• you will have a baby who you stick in a tree

I don't understand why the General Hospital writers see children merely as new canvases for gunshots and life-threatening danger, when it's patently obvious that soap children are meant to be adorable scenery.

Ugh.

Obviously, Sonny's career and Carly's blind devotion to it are the reason that their children continue to wind up in dangerous scenarios, but since the show believes that their lifestyle is honorable and heroic, the constant danger seems less "karma for Sonny and Carly" than it does "let's exploit the audience's emotions by holding a gun on a kid! Dramatic jackpot!"

And what makes this even better is--wait for it--the person holding the gun on Sonny's kids is...Sonny's kid.

DID YOUR MIND JUST EXPLODE FROM THAT AWESOMENESS?!?!

I am unspoiled, so I don't know if Dominic actually is Dante, but the setup is so cliched and ridiculous that it pretty much has to be the case. Dominic's mention of Bensonhurst sealed the deal: you can't come from Bensonhurst and not have some sort of relationship with Sonny. I'm pretty sure the writers actually think that Bensonhurst is an imaginary place they invented...

(Also, the woods in Port Charles are terrible, perhaps even more so than the dangerous-ass park. Mob shootouts, mobsters' children being held hostage, babies being stuffed in trees. It is validating my dislike for the great outdoors!)

True Romance

I have long abandoned any hope of tuning into General Hospital for love in the afternoon, because that's something that this show simply doesn't do (aside from Bob Guza's all-abiding love for Steve Burton). 

And judging by their latest attempt at recapturing the, uh, magic of Nikolas and Emily's love story, I'd prefer that they not even try, because if this is what they consider romantic, I...worry.

Nikolas: Well, you're part of Emily. Emily's part of you. I just can't really separate one from the other anymore, you know? And I -- I remember seeing you in her. I just didn't know what I was looking at. You know, that tough look that she had, that swagger that she had when she got angry [Hee! Emily having swagger. As if!--Ed.]

Rebecca: Yeah.

Nikolas: I thought it was all her. But now I understand you were there all along.

Rebecca: Wow, I never thought of it that way.

Nikolas: Yeah. I want to be with you so bad. For who you are and who Emily was.

Sometimes, you can only widen your eyes in horror and back away from the crazy.

Nikolas: You -- you have never looked more beautiful than you do right now.

"You have never looked more beautiful than you do right now, in a dress that looks exactly like the one my dead fiancee wore. Can I call you Emily? That would make me happier than I have ever been before."

Meanwhile, Sonny and Claudia continue to bring new meaning to the word glurg, having angry sex (at the exact same time that Jason is getting shot at. What up, 1999?) after foreplay consisting of:

...Claudia obsessing over her brother's sex life

...Sonny telling his wife to, and I quote, "shut the hell up"

...this conversation:

Claudia:  Maybe if you were as possessive of me --

Sonny: Why would I be possessive when I don't trust you, and I don't really like you? So why would I be possessive?

I bet that "Smack My Bitch Up" is their song. So sweet!

Soap Blog Coalition

General Hospital's Sam McCall knows her way around Port Charles and like the good sister that she is, has a few tips for Kristina on how to survive Port Chuckles. (Daytime Confidential)

"Bye Bye Mrs. McBain - A Tribute to Kathy Brier" - Michael Fairman salutes Brier and her tremendous contributions and performances as Marcie Walsh McBain, as she aired in her final "OLTL" episode on Wednesday.  (Michael Fairman Soaps)

The publicity machine that is Ryan and Erica keeps on rolling, but how do you feel about the upcoming storyline? Weigh in with the latest PVB poll! (The Pine Valley Bulletin)

Schemes and plots are a soap staple, but they're no fun to watch if the plots make no sense, as is the case on All My Children. (Serial Drama)

So, go ahead and call me slightly 'Otaliacentric' and 'Guiding Light obsessed these days but the reality is that I still cannot quite grasp the fact that the beacon on that lighthouse seemingly appears to be going dark very soon.  (Soap Opera Examiner)

Check out all the Kimberly McCullough related pictures we've gathered from the Soap Nation's tour at the CMA Music Festival this past weekend (which also includes pictures of Greg Vaughn, Becky Herbst, Brandon Barash, and Laura Wright). (The Scrubs Hub)

We Love Soaps editor Michael Goldberg takes a look at the recent announcement that Crystal Chappell and Wally Kurth wil return to Days of our Lives and what that means with the latest play to save the show. (We Love Soaps)

NuMolly's coming, some great pics from the ABC/CWA event and news from Steve Burton's appearance in NY. (Wubs.net)

That Hour Of Television Actually Bordered on Decent!

I would not describe today's episode of General Hospital as great, or even good, but I can honestly say with no hesitation that it was kind of okay, which is the most effusive praise I have given this show in ages! And once again, I am most complimentary of an episode completely lacking in Sonny and Claudia. Coincidence? I think not!

It had all of the elements of, you know, a soap opera: snappy dialogue! Veteran characters! An umbrella storyline that features the actual General Hospital of General Hospital! It would make me all warm and fuzzy if I thought for even one second that this was the signal of a creative upswing, rather than an enjoyable aberration.

The biggest key to my happiness? Nancy Lee Grahn.

Her increased onscreen presence, after eons of being backburnered, is a welcome surprise. I'm a little leery of what is coming down the pike, what with Alexis not having an inkling that her daughter is a hellraiser, and I have a feeling that nothing good will come of her part in the Player Mayor Mistress Murder story but damn it, I am determined to enjoy the NLG goodness while I can, before the writers forget that she is in the cast again.