I can't be the only one who started chanting "Spinelli, Spinelli, Spinelli" at my television when the little dweeb opened the door to greet Carly today, right? Or maybe I am, in which case General Hospital has finally pushed me over the edge and turned me into an actual crazy; if that IS the case, please just PRETEND that you also happily chanted Spinelli's name and save your mockery for behind my back.
A stroll through our archives shows that my feelings towards Spinelli over the years veere wildly from loathing to mild irritation to rage blackout, so I was as surprised as anyone by the warm fuzzies that overwhelmed me when he appeared onscreen. I mean, at any other point in my life his "It is so felicitous to see you!" would have knocked me off of my couch, such would be the force of my eyeroll, but today was different. Was it because I've had such a break from his peculiar speech patterns and ridiculous nicknames? Was it because many characters introduced since he left town managed to be even more annoying and shticky? Was it because his hatred for Franco never wavered over the course of the episode? Yes, yes, and YES!
Franco: [Carly] made me the happiest man on the earth.
Spinelli: And me the most nauseated. Um, please tell me that sociopath is perpetrating a terrible trick at my expense, and you two are not--
Carly: Together. We are together.
Spinelli: Forgive my momentary period of deafness. I was just picturing Jason's shock and horror and his frustrated rage from beyond the grave at the thought of you, his best friend, together with that homicidal, manipulative, explosive strapping...
Franco: We've heard it all before.
Spinelli: At an intervention, I hope!
He didn't even have to see Franco and Carly's sloppy kiss outside his door and he's still that disgusted.
And then Ellie (ELLIE!) was equally angry and horrified, and her refusal to let Franco hold Georgie (whose hair was styled like a Dr. Seuss character and I say that in the most complimentary of ways) brought me joy. The way she kept moving Georgie from hip to hip to get away from the, you know, monster in her living room? It was delightful to actually see someone treat this criminal (reformed though he may be) how he'd actualy be treated in real life: like someone scary and awful. Not "Yeah, but now he's tumor-free and isn't he just so freaking funny? Stop being mad! You damn killjoy, you."
The rest of the show was stakeouts and a preamble to multiple mob shootings, so...the old fast-forward button got quite the workout.