I have been, without a doubt, the world's lamest General Hospital blogger. Even lamer than the lamest of blogs, because at least those people are writing, albeit lamely, and I am sitting with my laptop out every single evening and the only thing I have to say about a complete hour of television is "[Silence] [Eyeroll] [Heavy sigh] [Does mental inventory of the kitchen cupboard to try and remember if there is Nutella in there] [Sigh] [Deletes episode] [Forgets what happened in the prior hour] [Shudders knowing that even without a memory, Sonny was probably there, grossing things up]" and not managing to write down a single thought. I've forsaken all of you for emotional eating, you guys. The guilt I feel is pretty epic (the ignoring of you, at least. Not so much the Nutella. Not at ALL the Nutella!).
But the problem with General Hospital is that sometimes...there is literally nothing to say.
- 3/4 of today's show was complete filler. Did we need Ned and Alexis recapping the past few weeks? I mean, yes, I probably did because I often forget what happens in Port Charles minutes after they happen, but (A) that can't be the case for the entire audience and (B) I think it's less "faulty memory" and more "my brain feels sorry for me that that just happened". Patrick and Sabrina's conversation about Rafe was devoid of emotion, so that came across as more needless recapping. Basically every character had a line of dialogue that could be paraphrased as "Remember yesterday when that happened? This is how it went down. How do you feel about the thing that happened yesterday? It happened yesterday."
- Fake Luke. Any interest I had in Fake Luke shriveled up and disappeared weeks ago. I know that Tony Geary's sabbatical impacted the planned story, but I'd rather it just be dropped completely and then pulled off of the backburner like it hadn't been ignored for weeks (what, like that has never happened?) than have these random teases just to tread water.
- Sonny and Carly MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY EYES. I can't say much more, on account of the physical reaction I have to them (I literally just made my peace with limo sex!), but in a related story: I posed a question on Facebook that I'd love you darling commenters to answer as well: what is your least favorite, most hated soap couple of all time?
So where does that leave us, in terms of conversation? We're best off just talking about Nutella, no?