I don't actually know if it's the second day of the ball, but I feel like I heard it started on Friday so I decided to watch today. Here goes!
We open with Brad proposing to Lucas. Why is Lucas the one on his knee if he's not the one proposing? Also, this is the first time I've seen this incarnation of Lucas. He reminds me a little of Joey Lawrence, and he says yes!
Everyone claps and films it with their smartphones and it's pretty cute.
Carly is talking to Jakeson, and I think Laura Wright has a cold because there's definitely an adenoid situation going on here. He's been lied to by... Ric and his non-wife? I think Ric and Hayden (that's Rebecca Budig's character, right?) conspired to make Jake think he was married to her. To... keep her away from Elizabeth, I'm guessing? Anyway, then Nik tells Liz that Jake is Jason. Liz is not hearing it, and accuses Nik of doing this because he still has feelings for her. He says he does. "Always have, always will." Say what now? Okay, Show. Also, why would this be a deterrent for Liz to want Jake?
"I had to be loud, in public," Carly says in the understatement of the century.
Julian makes some sort of mob joke regarding his bio-son's engagement and how he can now expand the "Wu territories." What? Firstly, Brad is related to mob people? Secondly, everyone's just so openly mobbed up now that it's hilarious party banter at an AIDS benefit?
Something happens with children.
Lucy looks crazy hot in a red dress --
-- introducing Magic Milo and Company, doing their annual strip tease. They're dancing to INXS's "New Sensation," so basically we have to respect that. Did anyone see the KAJILLION-part mini-series about INXS they made.... last year, I want to say? It was better than expected, and damn was the dude playing Michael Hutchence spot-on. And therefore so hot and charismatic that it actually hurt.
TJ is in the strip tease?? I guess he's an adult now? It's been a while. This makes me uncomfortable. Wait, Ellie's there?? I love Ellie! When did Ellie return? Also, does Milo no longer work for the mob? One thing that always cracked me up about the Nurses Ball was how for entertainment's sake, they'd always match up performers who had major conflict in the regular stories, and I'd get a little caught up picturing these arch enemies having to get together to rehearse some silly talent show piece when typically one of them had basically murdered some loved one of the other. Or something? Like, did Catherine Bell and Lucy Coe really meet up with each other all the time to rehearse their act? Anyway, the dudes are being all hot, and there's some business going on between Ellie and Nathan that Maxie looks highly displeased about, which I'm guessing was its purpose.
Wait a minute. Are Epiphany and Milo actually happening? Like for real? I swear I said years ago that they should do this. But did they really do this???
Dante is talking to some pretty lady and I have no idea who she is.
Carly is apologizing to Jake and while Billy Miller is slightly more animated than that last guy playing Jason was, they still have the friendship down, where Carly pretty much runs roughshod over him and orders him to be friends with her and never stay mad.
Liz seems to be accepting the whole Jason thing. And she still pronounces it "JAY-SEN." Also there is something else happening with the children. I do not accept this. I guess this is meant to be cute in its precociousness, but it seems pretty creepy to me.
Next up performing: oh, there's Sabrina, lip-syncing. Maxie and Ellie are also in this. Remember when Ellie and Spinelli did that adorable "She Blinded Me With Science" thing a couple years back? Oh and Sam and Lulu and some other lady are also in this. There are poodle skirts and vacuum cleaners, and it's some sort of song about how men have to act like women aren't crazy to get the lovin' even though women are obvs really crazy. Or something. Is this a well-known song? Basically it's a feminist rally, you guys. In the words of the great Kelly Taylor. They get a standing ovation.