So I'm pretty sure we were all just on the edge of our seats waiting for the "romantic" "Brallie" reunion tonight on The Fosters, right? If by "on the edge our seats" I probably mean sick to my stomach and super-annoyed that this seems to be the primary reason people watch the show if the PR department is to be believed. The number of "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BRANDON AND CALLIE TOGETHER AGAIN 2NITE!!!" tweets I saw today were just... chilling.
At any rate, we started off nicely for the grownup viewers. Callie's behind bars again.
We were all hoping for some Orange Is The New Black-esque jailhouse shenanigans, right? They have to understand their adult demographic, yes? Because I feel like it lines up.
Jude is sad and is worried they no longer want to adopt Callie. FIX IT FOR JUDE, DON'T YOU DARE MAKE MY LITTLE JUDE SAD, JERKS! Brandon and his dopey droopy face confesses to sucking face with his foster sister.
And he's all self-righteous about it, because apparently when teenagers are self-righteous about inappropriate relationships it increases viewership and couple fandom on ABC Family (y'all, I'm flying through Pretty Little Liars right now and the whole teacher/student gross relationship thing is making my skin crawl so my haunches are totally up at this stuff).
Stef and Lena go to Callie's hearing to speak on her behalf, but also to say they're not prepared to give her a home "at this time." They go on to explain how they're newlyweds and Callie running away totally ruined their post-wedding sexytimes. Okay, no they don't, but I think it would have been a good argument.
Mariana meets a new cute boy (I couldn't tell if his name was Chase or Jason) who wants her to volunteer to do crew for the school production of The Glass Menagerie.
That definitely seems like a good choice for a high school production. I mean what could they possibly relate to more? Mariana volunteers to work on costumes for the show (while the light designer attaches himself to her but I can't tell if he has a crush on her or on the cute boy Chase/Jason who is coordinating the crew and making bad jokes) and unfortunately gets paired with Kelsey, the friend of hers she'd sold drugs to who lied and blamed Callie for the dealing of said drugs.