Serial Drama

The Odd & the Naughty

Well, Alley Mills has just killed me once again. Lock 'er up, officers!

Upon hearing that Stephanie has made an exception to her "I will see none of my loved ones but Eric until my passing" policy, but learning that the exception was made for Brooke and not for her, Pam... well, she:

Can someone not give this woman a hug? I love the way Alley Mills plays her so much when they give her material of actual substance. It seems odd to use the word "guileless" for a woman who's constantly up to shenanigans and trickery and deceit, but it's strangely apt. And I find that guilelessness so heartbreaking and endearing.

Less heartbreaking and endearing is the inanity going on over at Bill's house. Now look, I'm a lifelong soap viewer and I'm well aware that one character accidentally walking in on another character naked to create sexual tension between the two is, like, Soap Staples 101. And that's fine by me. We need these staples. They're not going to surprise us and subvert the genre 250 times a year.

See? Cute. Standard stuff. And fine with me. I do not want them to move forward with this pairing, but it's clear that it's happening. (It's a little hysterical to me that Taylor ran to Katie to warn her that Brooke and Bill are getting closer, as if that wasn't precisely Katie's long-term plan.) But we've only just recently gotten over our PTSD from the whole "Cha cha cha!" corniness -- must we now be subjected to months and months of "stallion" references and competely on-the-nose NEIGHING sound effects? No, for serious. Because eww.

I'm Not Made of Stone, Here (A Photo Album)

First, big apologies for not having posted about The Bold & the Beautiful in almost two weeks. Truth be told, it's hard to tell if there's that much interest in B&B posts (the last one got more comments about GH on it than anything else!) -- that, in addition to the fact that the show doesn't generally vary too wildly from day to day, plus my tendency to save up a few episodes and watch in bulk? Well, that all adds up to slow posting.

But I couldn't let it go unaddressed one more day. Is there much to really say, through all the sobbing? Not really. Stephanie's dying, they're stretching it out and milking it for all it's worth, and it's sad as shit. Eloquent, right? I don't think my heart can take another episode of the entire cast crying, since we all know full well about 10% of that is acting (if that). But it really is a lovely tribute to 25 years' worth of storytelling for this character, as well as to Susan Flannery herself. Beyond being a great and stalwart talent, she is clearly beloved by her co-workers.

Seriously, though, did they have to break out freakin' "Danny Boy?" Who the eff doesn't cry at "Danny Boy?" Robots? I don't know. Frankly I always find it hysterical on TV when some internationally known music act comes to perform at some private party for no reason other than a paycheck, and it always takes me out of the action completely because it's just weird.

Celtic Woman has always creeped me out a little, I confess. It's not that they don't sound beautiful -- they do -- but there's something about those dresses and the hair that just feels like some creepy Gaelic Automaton of some sort. Nonetheless, they laid it on thick with "Danny Boy" and the manipulation worked on me perfectly. I'm a sucker, even when it comes to Gaelic Automatons.

Interestingly (and appropriately, considering) only one character really got any one-on-one with Stephanie at her goodbye party (which was officially her last time seeing any of her non-husband loved ones) (I know she's in future episodes, but I mean according to in-show logic). Brooke and Stephanie shared a lovely goodbye in which I'm pretty sure Katherine Kelly Lang was about to break down completely.

Stephanie: I need you to take this family forward, you know that, someplace where it's just filled with happiness and with love. Okay? I'm going to leave tonight. You have to accept that. After the party, okay? After we've had all our laughs and all the good times, and then Eric and I are just gonna slip out quietly. Okay? And we'll get in the car, and we'll drive away. Of course, when I do that, that means -- that you're going to be in charge of my family, because it's now your family. Okay?

The Bummer & the Creepy

First, my apologies for our relative blog silence this week. I've been sort of half-following the soaps, but not with much clarity throughout and in the aftermath of that bitch Hurricane Sandy. So this one's going to be super-brief but I just kind of wanted to check in. I hope all our Serial Drama readers are safe and sound, and that you have somewhere comfortable to stay if you are without power or water or if your home has been damaged. 

Second, we didn't so much have Halloween in our part of the country, but happy Halloween nonetheless! (And have a happy one next week if you're in the rescheduled-Halloween zone!) The soaps usually throw a little love Halloween's way, so I was a little psyched to see what they came up with.

General Hospital started their big old Halloween party, so I'm sure a plethora of soap blogs and websites will have a lot of great screencaps for you (or maybe a weekend roundup here if things settle down?). How adorable was Dante's robber? How apt was Josslyn as corn... what with her slightly resembling a Child of the Corn (really, more like a kid in Village of the Damned, but I'll make the leap)? How hilariously awesome was AJ's Grim Reaper look? And Duke meeting Emma warmed my heart in memory of Duke and Robin's former relationship, which may have made me grumpy under the current state of his character, but I took it on its own and loved it.

But mostly I was curious about how The Bold & the Beautiful would tackle October 31st, considering none of their current storylines really lend themselves to costume balls. Hey, y'all, Stephanie's dying, let's dress up like goblins! Katie has PPD, let's take her to a haunted house!

So instead, they actually found a nice small way to honor the seriousness of their current stories while still giving a little nod to Halloween. Katie moved into a month-to-month rental (where she'll presumably wait out Heather Tom's maternity leave?) and started seeing much creepier home decor (in what was already pretty grim home decor).

The Lazy & the Lovely

Now that enough episodes have passed for the pattern to become clear, I do have to say how impressed I am with the structure they're using for Stephanie's departure on The Bold & the Beautiful. True, they were provided with two luxuries: a departing actress willing to give a couple more months of her time after the "official" end of her final contract, and a character already established to have cancer -- making a sudden out-of-nowhere terminal illness unnecessary, and also allowing Stephanie's easy acceptance of her prognosis a little less eyebrow-raising than it would be if this were her first time at the rodeo.

I don't honestly remember ever seeing this much reverence shown for an actress and a character's legacy. They are giving entire episodes to each of Stephanie's goodbyes with her loved ones (and B&B is smartly having that loved one's actor live-tweet each corresponding episode), complete with flashbacks and trips down memory lane. Not only is all of this great for the audience and for the characters, but it's so lovely that each actor is getting a chance to do a full set of one-on-one scenes with Susan Flannery. It's clear she's a beloved mentor around there, and equally clear that the on-screen tears are quite real.

And it's fun to guess which character will be next and which flashbacks we'll see. And whether or not non-contract folks will be invited to the one-episode each party (Felicia and Kristen, for instance). And recasts have made some of the flashback sequences a wee bit disappointing -- I think it's safe to say we would have all willingly suspended our disbelief to see flashbacks of older Stephanie/Thorne scenes with pre-Winsor Harmon actors, right? So much to pull from!

But speaking of limited flashbacks, what the heck was up with the Steffy-and-Stephanie flashbacks yesterday? They were only from two different storylines! I had so hoped to take a tour through Steffy Hairstyles Past.

 

I mean we got two, but that's not near enough!

Hello, cleavage!

The Bold & the Therapeutic

Well then! I feel a little out of my comfort zone here because I'm about to talk about how good The Bold & the Beautiful has been. It's not that I've never praised an episode before, but typically they've been outliers and we've just gone back to the status quo the following day. And typically they've been part of that storyline I've complained about for over a year now, so there are qualifiers: "This was a well-written episode for a storyline I want to murder in the face!"

Now I don't want to jinx anything, but it's been a good solid two or three weeks now of balanced episodes and multiple storylines. You know, like soaps do. Steffy, Liam, and Hope are still part of a story arc, but it's just one of a handful. And no episodes have focused exclusively on that long-dead triangle. We're also dealing with the aftermath of Ridge having left Brooke, we're dealing with Stephanie's diagnosis, we're dealing with Katie's post-partum depression. Sometimes all of those things in one single 18-minute episode! I feel like my prayers to the soap gods are finally being answered, and I can only knock on wood that the Nielsen gods will respond in kind. (How heinous would it be if the show somehow dropped in ratings during all this awesomeness and Bell decided to revert to ALL LIAM ALL THE TIME?!)

Yesterday's episode was especially lovely and understated. We got Taylor showing up and actually being a psychiatrist! Sure, we could get into the ethics of treating a woman who is the sister of your decades-long romantic rival and the stepmother to your daughter's boyfriend (not to mention the cuckolded and current wife of your daughter's previous fling!), but soaps are soaps and doctors and cops and lawyers never have a conflict of interest (which sometimes flies because you imagine the town to be tiny, but hilariously this show takes place in Los Angeles). Point being, the therapy was actually therapeutic!

Katie: I just don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I be a good mother?

Taylor: You're not doing anything wrong.

Katie: I'm doing everything wrong.

Taylor: No, you're protecting your son.

Katie: From what?

Taylor: From yourself.

Katie: What do you mean?

Taylor: You're afraid that you're going to abandon him. You're afraid that you're going to die. So you're not allowing him to get attached to you. You've been through... probably the most two intense emotions that you can go through in life, in one day. You know, you - -you had a heart attack at a time that was already stressful. You were facing the fear of possibly dying when your baby was being born. So maybe you're thinking that, you know, if I failed my baby once, I might do that again.

Katie: Maybe.

The No & the Please Don't!

Oh boy.

I... don't want to complain. I want to rave because we got three full episodes in a row that had absolutely nothing to do with Hope, Liam, and Steffy. We had a Deacon visit. We got a lot of great moments and great acting from the grownups. We got Heather Tom, just kicking ass and taking names with her stellar thespian skills in her post-pardum depression scenes. And even yesterday, when we did get subjected to some Hope/Steffy scenes, there were other storylines on display as well. You know, like a soap should do.

But there was something about this...

...and the way they lingered just a little too long... 

 

Uh oh.

The "Youthful" & the Hilarious

Isn't it great how well is show is appealing to the youth market? It's just so young and hip and fresh, with all these super-cool folks in their early twenties runnin' around like the youngfolk do bein' all down and with-it!

I mean look at Liam and Steffy, who are pretty damn cutting edge as far as the youngsters go. They're constantly playing hooky from work! They ride a motorcycle! They dance about in sprinklers!

And you know what's the most "now" and trendy about them?

They love Bob Hope! 

They adore Frank Sinatra!

His favorite movie is To Kill A Mockingbird! 

Her favorite movie is Roman Holiday!

They high-five over puns, y'all! THEY HIGH-FIVE OVER PUNS.

You just don't get much more current than that. Boy, this show is really onto something. Not only do they just get today's youth, they're now establishing themselves as trendsetting tastemakers! (You know, for fifty years ago.) (Author's disclaimer: I am too old to be cool and even when I wasn't too old, I was never cool. I can't pretend to know what's hot with those crazy American kids these days [can't they get off my lawn, though??], but I do occasionally know what's not. e.g., Bob Hope.)

The Sad & the Sniffles

Just a few DayQuil-laden thoughts on yesterday's incredibly moving episode (written wonderfully by Adam Dusevoir) of The Bold & the Beautiful (hey, go figure, the show works when they focus on OTHER CHARACTERS).

- Katie had an out-of-body experience!

Hee!

Now of course since this is a soap, the whole "going into the light" thing looked at cheesy as humanly possible, but we soap viewers are used to accepting these things. It's sort of part of the trade-off for them offering us up a full episode of entertainment (well, depends on your definition) five days a week.

- But who cares if it looks cheesy when right there in the light to welcome her is... Storm!

- Donna had flashbacks to the "Storm accidentally shoots Katie" storyline!

D'oh! Sorry, Sis!

The Blah & the Blue

Straight recap of today's The Bold & the Beautiful!

Deacon explains to Hope that he's sorry he left before her wedding and that he's come back because he heard it didn't stick.

(Does he know just how many of Liam's weddings didn't stick?)

Katie talks about the strongly kicking baby and Bill says a bunch of dumb sexist crap about what Spencer men are supposed to be like. Katie is mysteriously charmed while still scolding him for it, as per usual. They say a few words about Hope and Liam and I glaze right over.

Hope tells her father she thought she'd never see him again. She catches Deacon up on all the latest tedious drama with Liam, and Deacon expresses appreciation for Hope's forgiveness and acceptance. "I'm as responsible as anyone else for things not working out between you and Liam," he tells her. 

Credits.

Thomas and Caroline canoodle and then start chatting about Hope. And Liam. Because it's a day ending in "y" and what the hell else would they talk about. Rick rushes in and raves about the photos that poor Oliver took of Thomas and Hope. Rick is as unsubtle as ever.

Liam comes in all dressed up like a Real Spencer Man in a leather jacket.

Hope starts to tell Deacon about the misunderstanding regarding "his" note back in Italy, which he starts to ask about but she interrupts him because this is a soap opera and people never just get revealing questions out the first time.

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Oliver! He's adorbs. Pam and Donna act ridiculous about this "prestigious" receptionist position they share. 

Bill insists to Katie and Liam that Hope doesn't love Liam anymore and they "both know all there is to know." Which they don't, so we cut to Deacon listening to Hope explain how things fell apart at all of the many weddings. He looks less than pleased about how this all played out, and keeps things vague with, "If I had just stayed [in Italy] there never would have been a letter for Liam to misinterpret." Deacon tells Hope she sure doesn't sound like she's finished with Liam. OH IF ONLY.

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The World According to Bill Spencer

Oh, Bill. That lovable rascal! He's certainly been in top form these last couple of episodes, hasn't he? First, there was that bizarre speech he made at the end of Monday's episode after strong-arming Liam into eating rare steak he didn't want and drinking his twelfth glass of wine.

Bill:It's no secret that I want you two back together. With Hope, you've been regressing. Liam, come on. That's not what being a Spencer is about. Look at these women. Katie, Steffy -- Spencer women -- two of the strongest women I know. With Katie, you have love, strength, guidance. Isn't that what you want, Liam? You had it when you were with Steffy. And you could have it again. A true partner.  Hope turned you into a boy, but you're not a boy. You're a man. You're a Spencer. Start acting like it.

And the women just kind of sat there in silence letting him blather on. You know, because they're so strong. And Liam, the "man," just sat there in silence as well. Because he's so tough that he lets everyone else on the planet tell him who he is and what he wants. And Steffy is a Spencer woman now? Bill! YOU ARE CREEPY.

And then yesterday in some warped verion of Pygmalionfrom Hell, Bill forced Liam into smoking a cigar (because that's what men do) and drinking port (because that's what men do) as once again the women sat around virtually silent (because that's what strong women do). When Katie told him he couldn't smoke the cigar indoors around her (what with her being preggers and all), Bill told Liam that's what women do -- they try to control you, and you must not let them succeed. After which he did exactly what Katie had told him to do and went outside for the cigar.

During this little man-to-man chat, Bill explained to Liam that he must not try to measure up to other expectations and should just be himself. And then Bill tried to turn Liam into someone else entirely, because Bill really just wants Liam to live up to Bill's expectations and, in fact, not be himself at all. Thankfully Katie later pointed this out, reminding Bill that he's just trying to turn Liam into him. 

Which Bill naturally denied, as well as denying that he's trying to push Steffy and Liam together. Yes, Bill, it's clear that inviting Steffy to your family dinners and referring to her as a Spencer woman and telling Liam he should be with her is not trying to push them together.