Hey, Fosters viewers (and Serial Drama readers who don't watch the show but just like reading TV blogs!), I think I'll skip doing the beat-by-beat recap this time because it does get a little dull. I'm going to shake it up a tiny bit. I AM LIVING ON THE EDGE, PEOPLE. Here we go!
Wait, so this is the car Brandon drives?
Somebody's going to have to refresh my memory. That can't be his car, right? Is that the one that Callie's bio-dad bought for her? It has to be, doesn't it? Anyway, just more of Brandon's horrible life, just having to drive around in a sweet ride like that. Pretty sure that car could pay for a year at Juilliard, but if it's Callie's, they better not let her sell it FOR LOVE or whatever. (Okay but seriously, is it Brandon's?)
Basically the A-storyline starts when Jude is reading Romeo and Juliet for school and quotes a passage, asking what it means. Dream-teen heartthrob Brandon knows! "It means Romeo wants to bang his sister," he says. Or really something about how hard it is being apart from the person you love, and he and Callie exchange gross incestuous looks. If this show is trying to sell some crap about Callie and Brandon being like Romeo and Juliet, I suggest someone on that team re-read that play and realize that Romeo and Juliet did not have a great love story but in fact were total idiots (okay, that part is an awful lot like Brandon and Callie) whose adolescent obsession with each other left them AND MANY OTHERS dead forever. Families ruined. Souls destroyed. And they were kept from dating (and probably breaking up after not too long) because of a hateful, horrible, foolish, deadly ANCIENT GRUDGE. You know, NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE SIBLINGS. (Oops, I got a little wound up. I have a long history of overreacting when pop culture tries to parallel contemporary stories with R&J because they always treat it as if it was a great love story with a sad ending instead of one of the more brilliantly and astonishingly devastating tragedies of all time.) Anyway, they closed it out with Jude being all, "Tell me about it," and let's hope that he and Connor are no more like Romeo and Juliet than any other healthy, breathing humans with parents who are not dangerously insane. But really, they don't even let up. Later, Brandon tells that new chick about the whole thing and she refers to Brandon and Callie as "star-crossed lovers" and I almost puke and actually wish she would finish out the sentence with the original "take their life" (I'm just kidding, show, please no suicides!).
Does the R&J nonsense end there? It does not. Brandon, in fact, is writing a new song that he plays for Mat and the lyrics to the song are just the effing prologue to Romeo and Juliet. I'm going to need an apothecary myself. Any second now. Oh, he decides it's going to be a rock opera. Is this R&J musical adaptation (that is not West Side Story, by the by) going to be an extended storyline, continuing to imply some nonsense parallel to Brandon and Callie? WHAT, HO! APOTHECARY! BRING ME SOME MORTAL POISON PLS.
(Can confirm. Upside? Corbin Bleu from One Life to Live will be Mercutio! Because he's still playing high school students? And it's also an actual musical written by Bradley Bredeweg called Romeo and Juliet: Love Is A Battlefield, which kind of sounds like cheesy hilariousness. Horrible downside? Again, hideously implied parallels to Brandon and Callie.)
Worried Callie is worried.
This means that Callie has to tell Brandon that she told Daphne about their sibling sex, but (as someone smartly suggested in the comments last week) Daphne thinks the "sex with your foster brother" might refer to Liam. All is well! Later Callie gets gussied up for a Fost and Found photo shoot and looks super-slick.
And then Brandon brandons it up by telling her she doesn't look like her and there is a god because she fully calls him out for that bullshit. But then what's the first thing she does? Scrubs it all off. Is this impostor syndrome, or is this really all just guilt about that terrible choice she made with Brandon?