Serial Drama

Eileen Davidson's "Dial Emmy For Murder"

If you're anything like me, your eyes instinctively roll when you hear that a celebrity has written a novel (I freely admit that this is partly out of jealousy on my part. If Lauren Conrad can "write" a novel, why can't I?!). But! If you rolled your eyes when you heard that Eileen Davidson has a series of soap opera mystery books, you eyerolled too soon, because her latest, Dial Emmy For Murder, is pretty damn good. And I don't mean that in a "well, it's so terrible that it's good" or "I heart Eileen Davidson, so let's just say that this is good"" kind of way; I am being completely sincere! If you're looking for an inanely entertaining summer read, this is it.

Quick background: Alexis Peterson is a soap star, formerly of The Yearning Tide and now playing the dual roles of Felicia and Fannie (Felicia's ugly twin, who is played with fake teeth and a prosthetic nose. Shades of Susan Banks!) on The Bare and the Brazen who again finds herself in the middle of a murder mystery when her Emmy co-presenter winds up dead. I will say no more because it's a mystery, duh, and I don't want to give anything away. 

I love, love, love Eileen Davidson as Ashley Abbott and I adored her on Days, and it turns out that she's a great storyteller, too. She's funny, is great with dialogue and Alex is a fantastic, clever character. I really feel like soap headwriters should consult with ED before they write another of their harebrained mysteries (Charles Pratt, I am sneering in your general direction).

Has anybody else read this book, or her previous novel, Death in Daytime? Share in the comments!

Soap Blog Coalition

Should SOAPnet produce a splashy Santa Barbara miniseries or movie? Jamey lays out the evidence why he thinks they should. (Daytime Confidential)

Check out the latest rant on the PVB regarding how low can SOAPnet go. Do you agree with Kathy, has the station has "jumped the shark"? (Pine Valley Bulletin)

As the malpractice suit/murder mystery on General Hospital trudges along, we've been entertained by some great quote worthy moments, here are some of the best (Scrubs Hub)

In their latest Soap Opera Digest column, the Serial Drama girls focus on veteran characters. Some shows, like All My Children and The Young & The Restless, use them well and give them great stories, and then there's General Hospital and what they have done with Luke Spencer. (Serial Drama)

I was compelled to pause the DVR after being so totally outraged over the scene that took place at the Chancellor estate. If Neil genuinely recognized the fact that Mrs. "C" was in trouble, he should have called 911 immediately. (Soap Opera Examiner)

Lisa LoCicero just got a contract on General Hospital. Will it matter? Either way, we're happy! (Wubs.net)

Our Latest Soap Opera Digest Column

My Take
By Becca Thomas

I am not anti-villain. I love a soapy bad guy or girl. I have adored DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Victor Kiriakis and his malevolent deeds since acid-washed jeans were popular the first time around. And one of Victor’s worst enemies, Stefano DiMera? Who doesn’t root for him, at least a little bit, every time he comes back from the dead to wreak havoc? Then there’s GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Helena Cassadine, who is a kidnapper, brainwasher, and murderer many times over. Yet I love her! I could go on for pages with examples of my solidly pro-villain stance. And I also understand that even good guys have to have some villainous qualities now and then, to keep things interesting. But lately with Luke Spencer, GENERAL HOSPITAL has replaced what was a layered and interesting sometime villain with an unrepentant jerk who has lost all rootability in my eyes.

I Hope I'm Not The Only One To Find This Creepy...

Ashley's baby-naming technically isn't the most disturbing part of her storyline, as she is actually no longer pregnant, and only thinks she is still having a baby because of Adam's full throttle gaslighting, which is truly dark, but I can't help but be disturbed all the same.

Ashley: But I'm not going to. Bottom line is, I'm really happy, and I've been thinking.

Victor: Thinking about what?

Ashley: Baby names.

Victor: Boy or girl?

Ashley: Mm, I keep feeling like it's gonna be a girl. I don't know why. The one name that I keep coming back to is Hope, but if Hope isn't an option for you, I understand.

Victor:Well, this is a child of hope. I think it's very appropriate. And I adore you.

Ashley: I adore you, too.

FIRST OF ALL, this is not a child of hope. It is a child of defying the odds, and baffling the entire medical community, and grossing out hordes of viewers.

SECONDLY, who even entertains the notion of naming their child after their significant other's dead ex-wife? Aren't those names automatically off limits?! I realize that eliminating the names of all of Victor's ex-wives doesn't leave you many names to choose from, but still!

THIRDLY, how much farther off the deep end will Adam go when he learns of this latest development? He's pretty far gone as is, but this grossly inappropriate line of thought may even make him do even crazier thing than...well, okay, not much is crazier than dressing in drag in order to drive your father's girlfriend crazy, really, but if there is anything crazier, I have faith that he will find it.

Where Have You Gone, Summer Storylines?

We were completely flattered that Soap Opera Digest's Naomi Rabinowitz once again asked us for our opinion on soaps outside of our normal we-hate-basically-everything column. And since her article about the state of--or lack of--"summer" storylines on soaps today afforded us the opportunity to engage in two of our favorite traditions (complaining about bad writing and reminiscing about soaps' glory days), we had plenty to say.

Check out the article after the jump (click on the images to enlarge to full-size).  Fun side task:  Keep track of how many quotes in the article, from basically everyone interviewed, actually translate to "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENOUGH WITH THE SHITTY WRITING!" 

The Young and the Recappy

While addressing Liz Lemon's high school graduating class, pretending that he was their classmate Larry Braverman, 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy admitted that he, too, feels life's disappointments and copes "with sex, and awesomeness". This is quite the versatile phrase, as it can be used to answer the question, "What happened on Friday's episode of The Young and the Restless?" Sex and awesomeness happened, dear readers, and it was massively entertaining from start to finish.

It was massively entertaining enough that I couldn't decided what points I wanted to discuss; I wanted to talk about everything (well, almost everything. I never exactly want to discuss Gloria and Jeffrey, unless the discussion is specifically about my loathing). So I decided to do just that, in the form of a recap. With no Night Shift 3to occupy us this summer, I am in a bit of recap withdrawal...and perhaps a look at a full Y&R episode will tempt some non-viewers into tuning in. Peer pressure FTW!

We open with Adam watching the weather forecast that calls for severe thunderstorms, which is soap opera writer shorthand for "Crazy shit is going to go down, you guys". Jack walks up behind him and remarks, "I didn't know cartoons were on this late".

Adam is far less amused than I am, and is probably even less so when Jack urges him to "go read some stucco or something". Hee! Jack wants to see Ashley, and Adam tells him not to, because she's asleep. Adam is obviously new at the whole supervillain thing, because he is way too obvious about the fact that he needs to isolate Ashley.

Upstairs, Ashley wakes up to the sound of someone whispering her name. She calls out "Sabrina?" and gets out of bed, going into the hallway to investigate. All of a sudden, she sees Sabrina in the purple dress, with a veil over her face. She pulls off the veil and snarls, "Victor's mine, stay away".

 

Ashley does horror movie actresses proud and pulls off quite a dramatic scream

which Jack hears, and he rushes upstairs to see what's wrong. Adam is angry that his evil plan is being delayed due to Jack being a nosy parker.

Soap Blog Coalition

The state of General Hospital's opening credits has been a topic of wide discussion. Daytime Confidential's J Bernard decided to try and do something about it. (Daytime Confidential)

On Thursday, nuKristina makes her debut on GH! She shows up outside a bar where she runs into Jason. She shows up as a hell-raising teenager and gets involved in all sorts of typical teenage rebellion. (GHOFS)

Selected new audio highlighted features of XM Soap Break's with B&B's Katherine Kelly Lang, DAYS Darin Brooks, Y&R's Tricia Cast, ATWT's Jon Lindstrom, and more… (Michael Fairman Soaps)

Think David Hayward is obsessed with this offspring? Well he's got nothing on Adam Chandler in his heyday! Take a look back at the lengths Adam went to make sure JR was his alone.(Pine Valley Bulletin)

The Serial Drama girls continue to be traumatized by James Scott's hair, but have muddled through in order to complain about other things on Days of Our Lives and to try to make sense of its Daytime Emmy nomination. (Serial Drama)

There has NEVER been one instance in my life where I have seen any player on the soaps dealing with any type of dental issue. They NEVER even brush their teeth on a soap but that is most likely because they almost BARELY or NEVER even eat on the soaps. (Soap Opera Examiner)

We are breaking out into a silly sonnet of happiness now that Robin and Patrick are together and happy again. (The Scrubs Hub)

ATI president of Worldwide Media and Entertainment, Jim Romanovich, who was the key player in bringing the Daytime Emmy Awards to The CW, recently made a return visit to the Y&R set and shared his thoughts with We Love Soaps. (We Love Soaps)

Sunday Surgery News, Notes and other fun stuff. Find out about some exGhers and the hot newbie coming to Port Charles! (Wubs.net)

Your Burning Questions, Answered

People continue to search the internet for answers to life's biggest questions and, in doing so, bring joy to my life. Pure, unbridled joy. The kind of joy you get only when you find out that someone, somewhere, asked "i need a song that is a sad song for an old mans funeral and it has to do with pigs and childrens". That kind of joy. To pay these people back for this happiness, let's take another look at the search queries that lead people to Serial Drama and try to get them some answers! Except for the old man funeral with a song about pigs and children. I have no idea what that is.

general hospital want something bad to happen to winifred

I fully co-sign this wish. The creation of Winifred was probably one of the worst decisions that General Hospitalhas made recently and when you look at some of the baffling, dreadful decisions they have made, that is saying something. Why would someone think to themselves, "You know what this show needs more of? Mob worshiping. And oh! What if the mob worshiper was an FBI agent who also speaks like Spinelli! How funny would that be? Let's make this happen right away!" and why would their boss say, "You know what, that's a fantastic idea! And let's put her in 42 episodes from January to April!"?

The only way this makes sense is if it were part of some elaborate plot by Claire Coffee to make us see how good we had it when it was just Nadine annoying us all because at least she spoke like a human being. In that case, TOUCHE, CLAIRE COFFEE! TOUCHE!

the hot guy dominic rains youtube

Is this the start of a new trend where we give people descriptive titles to differentiate them from people with the same name? Because I would completely love that trend."That dreamy man Peter Bergman" and "That useless moron Heidi Montag Pratt Just Heidi" may take longer to say, but they get the point across quite nicely. Anyway, try here for all of your Dominic Rains video needs.

young suds make better lovers

I am assuming that this question was supposed to be "young studs make better lovers", which...we are not that kind of blog! But on the off chance that you did actually mean suds as in soap suds...we are still not that kind of blog, but you may be interested to know that bubble baths are thought, by some, to be harmful to your health!

Dramarama On and Offscreen

I have not written about The Young and the Restless in eons, despite the fact that I watch it, and look forward to watching it, every day. I think it is because I love it, plainly and truly. I think I'd actually put it in the esteemed category of my top five favorite current shows (alongside How I Met Your Mother, The Office, 30 Rock and Law & Order, the original; a completely lackluster season has bumped Gossip Girl from the upper echelons of my very exclusive list). I usually consider my soaps to be separate entities from the other shows I watch, but Y&R is so good that it totally crossed over.

Anyway, I am having a hard time describing my love for this show. Like, I take notes when I watch soaps because I want to remember what to mention here and also because I am a nerd, and by the end of an episode of, say, All My Children, my notes are completely illegible with anger, but my notes for Y&R yesterday consist of the following:

• YES!
• So pretty
• !!!
• Mac?
• Ha!
• !

For the past few weeks, my notes are all similar, with excitement and compliments that I did not put in any context, so I reread them all, "Who is pretty? What are the three exclamation points for?", and the occasional befuddlement, usually pertaining to Mackenzie or chipmunks.

Inquiring Minds Want To Know

Becca and I have long maintained that one of the best parts about blogging is seeing the search queries that lead people to our little piece of the internet.

You have the adorably earnest people...

it's great having john aniston front and center on days of our lives

the creepy people who almost certainly drive white vans...

nasty teens in red dresses kising

and the people on an obvious quest for the perfect hairstyle. No lie, probably about half of the searches that send people are way are about Laura Wright, Megan Ward and Alicia Minshew's hair. We are with you, Googlers! They are in a three-way tie for world's best hair.

We are far more entertained by these keywords than we are most of our soaps (which isn't exactly a difficult feat, but you know what I mean). But what happens to those poor information seekers when they leave Serial Drama with their questions unanswered? We are feeling more and more guilty about throwing these people to the proverbial wolves, so we decided to take a shot at answering some of the questions people have had this week. Just like Ann Landers and Dear Abby, except marginally hipper!