After years of fawning and gushing, and using the space between his first and last names as an excuse to let out a swooning sigh, it finally happened: I had a dream about Peter Bergman.
Regrettably, dreams provide very little exposition, so I have no idea what the circumstances of our relationship or friendship was, but in the dream, I was drinking tea, and we were both doing a crossword puzzle--in the future, if I ever try to make it seem like I am not a hopeless, ridiculous nerd, please throw this anecdote, in which I literally dream about doing crosswords, in my face to bring me back to reality and make me feel shame--and he was telling a story about something and even in my dream, I did the overlaugh that I would no doubt do if I ever met him in person.
Then my alarm went off. And when I turned my television on, it was still set on the Hallmark channel (Golden Girls, you guys! Not one of their feel-good movies. I like my made-for-TV movies to be poorly written trash, not, like, heart-warming or whatever. Oh, and Betty White hosts SNL tomorrow, which really has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but it is something that we all need to know and flail over), but it was so early in the morning that infomercials were on, and there happened to be an exercise infomercial with Cameron Mathison and Susan Lucci, and on the heels of my Peter Bergman dream, I had no idea what was going on and thought I was still sleeping, and I was incredibly confused and disoriented until I finished my coffee.
That feeling of being completely discombobulated came back in full force after I read Nelson Branco's interview with Hogan Sheffer and Maria Arena Bell, which is filled with enough delusion and nuggets of crazy that it could probably get one or both of them sent to a home in some states.
TVGuide.ca: Congratulations on all your casting coups! From David Hasselhoff and Marcy Rylan, to Eden Riegel, you guys have been very busy on the casting front. Would you like to tease us about your recent addition, Emmy winner Jeff Branson and film diva Sean Young?
Maria Arena Bell: We’re thrilled to have Jeff Branson on our show. We’re fortunate to have him in a short-term arc. He’ll air primarily over the summer in what I think will be a breakout role for him. I’d like to keep his story under wraps for now. But I can say Jeff will be very pivotal in the coming months.
Maybe it's me being once bitten, twice shy, but as soon as I hear someone say that they'd like to keep a new actor's story under wraps, all I can do is picture them scrambling furiously to write a story before the actor is due on set.
Also, I love the condescension there. "A breakout role" for the Emmy winning actor.
TVG: The Y&Rfans who post online are extremely livid with the show. Would you like to address their discontent with your writing team, especially your controversial decision to include not one but two doppelganger storylines?
MAB:. [...] It gave Tracey Bregman an opportunity to stretch herself as an actress and show a different side, a darker side, in this dual role. It’s a very short arc. But what it gives the audience is a tour-de-force performance from Tracey. You’ll see a very fun explosion this week. Tracey shouldn’t just win an Emmy Award for this portrayal, she should win an Oscar! You’ll see!
An Oscar. I just...you guys can read this, too, right? Because if you can, it means that it's not a hallucination and that she said that for realsies.
MAB: As for viewer dissatisfaction, I want to say I do visit the message boards. I do listen to our fans and critics. Sometimes when you’re watching a storyline unfold, you don’t know where it’s going and you get understandably frustrated. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It means people are watching and talking about our show. I’d be more concerned if fans weren’t talking about our show! A perfect example of that is the Adam Newman storyline. Everyone complained about Adam getting away with all his evildoings, yet [we surged almost 300,000 viewers in the ratings the week he was murdered — which proved at the end of the day that the audience really loved the story]. We always ensure there is a great payoff in all of our stories.
Does Bob Guza teach a course about how to be media savvy? If he did, Maria Arena Bell obviously enrolled and got a J+ (it's like an A+, but named for Jason Morgan, obviously), thanks to her keen ability to, in one breath, insult her viewers ("You guys don't know where the story is going and you get confused, and scared. And it makes you angry! And then you simple-minded angry people go online and complain!") and then brush all criticism off by saying that all press is good press, a statement that I'm pretty sure only she and Lindsay Lohan still agree with and when Lindsay Lohan is the only person high-fiving your insight, there is nothing left to say.
MAB: Just trust us.
There is much more at the source, and all of it will lead to you make the same confused and irritated face as the boys of Glee.
More on the fallout from the Sarah "story" to come later this weekend!