First, a disclaimer that I'd recently taken a break from this show for a month or two because I wasn't having any fun (enjoying the show or eviscerating the parts I didn't enjoy), but came back for Holly's return. I haven't been following recaps very closely, mostly just gleaning things from passing tweets and the like. It hasn't been that tough to pick up, but please forgive me if I get something entirely wrong because I missed those weeks. Back to business:
Most things haven't changed, such as people with 0% body fat eating massive pastries.
"The boys are fighting again, what of my feminine CONSTITUTION???"
The Quartermaine and Quartermaine-Adjacent Contingent
I'm impressed that, despite opening with the sound of Chase in the shower, General Hospital resisted the urge to show him lathering up. But no worry, they didn't take but another few seconds to have him returning to the bedroom still glistening and shirtless. And of course later, Chase decided to welcome Brook Lynn back into the room by greeting her hilariously spread-eagle...
"Get a load of this strategically-placed bedspread and flower arrangement (also my balls)!"
Since this is a soap, naturally it's Olivia that walks in and not Brook, because why would it be Brook? Also it's nice to know that after over a year of acting like a nervous child about his crush on Brook Lynn, all it took was one night of passion for Chase to be so overconfident in her family home to be doing poses like that for anyone who enters the room.
I would say it's weird that Michael hasn't noticed Willow is perpetually in need of smelling salts these days, but then again when his general attitude toward her is that the little lady is too delicate for the outside world or naughty words or harsh tones of voice and should probably be encased in protective glass? Eh, it kind of tracks that he wouldn't notice she's weakening by the second. It's his whole angle on her! It's a turn-on! Well, that and children's toys/birthday parties.
"Welcome to your latest super-awkward Quartermaine family moment," says Michael to Chase after for some reason Chase and Brook Lynn are forced to tell the family over coffee that they spent the night together (a thing not, in fact, necessitated by Olivia's embarrassment). "I'm sure you remember those from when you were pretending to be Bailey's father," Michael adds. He oddly does not add, "Also from when I was pretending to be your best friend while you were recovering from almost dying and I was banging your wife during children's birthday parties!"
"So many memories of betrayal and sanctimony to cherish!"
It's Oscar's birthday, which means for about one half of a second Drew's story looks like something even mildly related to the character we watched for multiple years and seems to have largely been forgotten entirely. At any rate, Ned's about to snipe at Drew and then is immediately apologetic when realizing it's Oscar's birthday, which Drew immediately uses as a weapon. "For Oscar's sake," Drew thinks he and Ned should probably try to mend fences, which for this version of Drew tends to mean doing precisely what he demands.
"Dale Carnegie would tell you'll never win friends by calling someone out for insider training, Ned!"
Michael assures Drew that Ned is only bluffing when threatening to expose him and Carly for insider trading, a thing of which they are entirely guilty. That seems dumb!
Continue reading "General Hospital: Return of the (New-Faced) Queen" »