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« As the Scalpel Cuts: The Botox'd Brady Bunch | Main | As The Scalpel Cuts: Pre-Halloween Horror »

October 04, 2006

The Smug and the Heightless

I totally hallucinated the character of Kevin Fisher on The Young and the Restless, right? There's no such person? And he's certainly not acting and being treated like a hero on the show, right? Right?!

I just--he enrages me to a point where I cease to be a normal member of society. I am one thrown decanter of brandy away from becoming a taller, female Sonny Corinthos, complete with angry mumbling and jazz hands.

If I'm following the show correctly lately (which I may not be, since every story seems to be on warp speed all of a sudden and not in the good way), Kevin was summoned to the Winters house by Daniel and when Neil was displeased to see him at the door Kevin actually smirked.

Gee, Kevin, I wonder why Neil wouldn't want to see your dumb ass in your too big shirt and bad haircut. Could it have anything to do with the fact that

...you were an internet predator?

...you had sex with his underage daughter and gave her chlamydia?

...you attempted to kill his daughter's best friend?

...you attempted to rehabilitate your reputation by setting his daughter up to be attacked so that you could play the hero?

I wonder!

Or how about when Kevin hacked into the servers of Newman Enterprises to spy on Jack Abbott's email and actually said "Score one for the good guys!"

I know, right? Jack Abbott is so totally evil! Like, way evil! Sure, he routinely takes advantage of old men who aren't in their right minds, but in addition to that, he drowns puppies and makes children cry and all sorts of other evil things in the imaginations of the Fisher-Baldwin family! He's so mean!

Gloria, Michael and Kevin (the aforementioned "good guys") are model citizens and the things they've done are, like, minorly bad:

  • Rape
  • Attempted rape
  • Sexual harassment
  • Drugging a man
  • Various gold-digging skankosity
  • Stealing money from husband to pay off ex-husband
  • Purposely tainted a face cream in order to make stepchildren look bad, thereby burning a young child and killing a woman
  • Manipulating dead woman's husband into ruining the career of stepson
  • Bugged a conference room and broadcast private meetings on the internet to ruin career of Jack Abbott
  • Trashing someone's apartment out of anger
  • Locking a girl in a freezer and setting the building on fire to kill her
  • In addition to the above mentioned statutory rape, STD giving and hacking.

    And Jack is the evil one?

    Or what about when Kevin said he didn't want to go to jail because he didn't like enclosed spaces. Um, I don't think Colleen likes the much either after you TRYING TO SET HER ON FIRE!

    Is it me? Am I the one who's just missing something? Because honestly, what the hell?

    Most of the blame goes to the writers (you're on notice, Lynn Marie Latham), but I also think Greg Rikaart deserves some of it. It's weird, because I found him so adorable as Tiny Gay Elfin David on Dawson's Creek, but I just CANNOT deal with him on this show. What kind of an acting choice is a smug, superior SMIRK when the father of a girl that you stalked and raped treats you like dirt? It's a freaking STUPID one, that's what kind. Between his smugness and his onscreen mother's crazy googly eyes, it's enough to make me kick my tv. And, most embarrassingly, I have developed a crush on the new Billy Abbott, who I know sucks, just because he hates Kevin and it is more age-appropriate than having a crush on Jack. I am a sad, sad person and I blame Kevin Fisher for it.

    -Promising Ingénue


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