Days of Our Lives Week in Review: No Plot Developments But Better Fashion Than GH

I figure if the showrunners aren't going to put any effort into moving storylines forward, I'm not obligated to pretend to care about the little bit of that that actually happened this week.  Plus, there were pretty dresses!  And other than shiny objects and cute boys, pretty dresses are like the most distracting things ever.   Which is something the powers that be at GH should learn, because maybe some prettier dresses would divert attention from the fact that their writing makes absolutely no sense and that they're destroying the good things they had left.

I know what you're thinking:  How hard is it to do something better than General Hospital these days?  But traditionally, possibly the only show on television with worse fashion than Days has been Cops, so the fact that it is currently outperforming GH in this arena is actually quite stunning. Seriously, there were several years in the 80s and 90s when every female character on DOOL wore polyester outfits and suntan pantyhouse and flesh-colored Naturalizer pumps every day -- and that includes the teenagers. Plus I'm pretty sure as recently as a year ago there was a epidemic of Mom jeans. Anyway, things on the fashion front are looking good in Salem! Which is good, since the show is otherwise regressing into seven-week long conversations and chemistry-less couples.

General Hospital on the other hand, well, it has been falling down on the fashion job quite frequently lately, but this week really reached some new lows.  Maybe it was intentional -- match the styling to the storytelling -- but it was painful.
 
Skye: Carly, don't try me right now, I'm bored and have almost no purpose in this town other than being a supportive mob wife, plus I'm covering my upper half in arguably the least flattering way possible.
Carly:   First of all, how dare you try to horn in on my useless mob wife territory, and secondly, are you kidding me?  Have you seen what I'm wearing?!

It's hard to make a tiny woman with great coloring look thick-waisted and washed out all at once, but never let it be said that the GH wardrobe department can't rise to a challenge:

Sam is an Everyday Hero just for wearing these two terrible dresses over the span of a few hours:

I love the annoying reporter's expression in that last one.  She's like,  "I know, right?  Turquoise and chocolate brown animal print, in satin, with more cleavage than a Hooters.  But what can you do?"  Of course, she's wearing this, so she has no room to judge:

I'm sure there were lots of other sartorial crimes this week on GH, but this is depressing.  Let's move on to the good stuff.  First, though, Jason wants to pop in and ask whether he's  making this hair work yet?

Please join me and the rest of the sighted public in saying "NO."

**********

Spring has sprung, or NBC upped the costuming budget, because this week saw an explosion of fabulous spring fashion on Days. Early in the week Sami was wearing this great dress that I can't find a full-length shot of, but even from this pic you can see it was cute.  And even though Ali Sweeney still hasn't sent us her haircare tips, I won't hold a grudge and will say that she is looking fantastic.  I will also say that at a couple of points during these scenes, I saw her bra, but that's the peril of a wrap dress on a busty girl.

Then later in the week Sami wore an equally adorable and flattering top:

I am so glad someone has finally figured out how to dress her well.  Then there was Billie:

The woman gets to look like this and be married to Billy Warlock. Forget war, famine, and Helen Hunt winning an Oscar, Julie Pinson's life alone is sufficient proof that the world isn't fair.

In that last screencap you can see part of Chelsea's adorable dress.  So cute:

You'll need to ignore Kate if you'd like to preserve your fashion buzz, though her ensemble is a bit less hideous than usual.  I continue to think her hair, however, is some kind of ongoing dare.  Or performance art. Chelsea's cute dress had a lovely scene with Hope's casual linen suit and great lime green cami:

Her dress is so cute, and her character has really turned around lately (which is saying a lot considering where she was less than a year ago), so why did Chelsea have to go and ruin things by lying about the stupid hairbrush? They have really matured her in recent months, but will she never learn about lying to her father the cop who has access to a forensics lab about her alleged crimes? My dog is six years old and only a few months ago figured out that when he walks past a mirror, that's not another Labrador that looks exactly like him, and even he is quicker on the uptake than Chelsea is.

**********

EJ ponders how he remains so smokin' hot despite being a psychopath:

PROMISING INGENUE claims I got the better end of the deal when we decided that I would get (or "get," lest you think we're crazy stalkers in addition to being adolescent) Jason Thompson and she would get James Scott, but I really think it's a draw.

**********

So you're saying I need a haircut?

I'm beginning to think you're not that bright.  Is that why you went away to summer camp and didn't come back for 15 years?  Of course you need a haircut.

No, seriously, do I need to cut my hair?!

Dude, please.  I'm on an island thousands of miles from where you are and am maybe the dumbest thing to come out of Salem since the island of un-dead people incident, and even I can definitively say YES.  For god's sake, yes.

[Ed. note:  I am going to practice in the mirror for hours until I can perfect Martha Madison's facial expression in that screencap.  It's so awesomely bitchy.  I just know I'll be able to use it on a daily basis.]

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For the first time ever, Willow's bangs looked somewhat decent on Friday:

Usually they look completely insane:

At least I'm pretty sure it's the bangs that look completely insane.

Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.

- Evil But Twinless

Comments

[Tripp]

Though I respectfully disagree that the show didn't move forward plot-wise I agree I especially liked many of the wardrobe choices of the women this week.

However, I'm just shocked in a fashion post you failed to mention the show finally went all the way and dressed Kayla in a nun's habit. Most of her wardrobe choices were always too close to the Victorian era so this came as no surprise to me (though she did make the cutest nun ever).

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the laugh. Your captions plus the link to "Mom Jeans" have me in tears.

[soapunk]

Frankly, I am *terrified* about the fashion atrocities that we will be subjected to upon Judi Evan's return. Adrienne was the queen of horrendous fashion and for some reason she always looked 20 pounds heavier then she really was. This posting gives me hope that DAYS fashion is turning around and I will not ever be subjected to Mom jeans on daytime again.

[zarathelawyer]

If anyone's going to get stuck with the Mom jeans it's going to be poor Judy. I never did understand how they dressed her.

[Ms Chicklet]

That Willow chick should stop trying to channel Hannah Montana.

How on earth does the GH wardrobe staff keep their jobs? They can't be bothered to put a bra on Laura Wright and keep swathing the lovely Robin Christopher in tablecloths.

[Evil But Twinless]

Oh my god, I still have nightmares about Judi Evans' wardrobe when she was Adrienne. The high-waisted, pleated, polyester pants with tucked-in shiny satin blouses and skinny belt were a frequent low-light. Looking back, I cannot believe she was in her early 20s. You never could have guessed that, between her clothes and the PTA President hair.

As for GH, they clearly have a decent wardrobe budget (witness Liz's bags and all the guys' suits, etc.), so the low "taste level" (I miss Project Runway!) is even less understandable.

On numerous occasions I have thought Robin Christopher must be pregnant again, because of the crap they drape all over her. And Laura Wright, man, what woman wants to be on TV without a bra? Why doesn't she just insist? That would be a dealbreaker for me.

Tripp, I think the writing has been good -- or at least much better than under the old regime -- just slow. Watching one week's worth of episodes all in one sitting I was struck by how little actually happened.

[Anonymous]

I respectfully disagree about Billie. That dress made her look really boxy.

I find it hard to be mad at Days right now. They've been featuring Celeste ALOT lately and that is ALWAYS a good thing.

Sigh.

I miss her pensively threatening characters under her breath when ever anyone would get close to learning "the secrets of Aremid."

Good times.

On another side note, am I the only one who found replacement Abby rather charming.

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