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« Ding, Dong, The Headwriter's Gone | Main | As the Scalpel Cuts: Beware Botox »

March 04, 2007

Days of Our Lives Week in Review

Last week, on Days of Our Liveszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What is going on with this soap? Why is it back to moving at a snail's pace, recycling storylines, and focusing on extraneous characters? Someone needs to right this ship soon. Some random observations from five days of episodes that I can hardly distinguish from each other:

1.  Behold, the worst actor in daytime:
Did this kid win a contest of some kind?   And why is Jed even there? Are they seriously trying to build a new core family around Willow, the unrepetently bitchy (and insane) hooker?  This chick?

I hope we find out soon, Maury-style, that Shawn is not the father because much as I don't care at all about him, I don't want this loon and her rapidly multiplying siblings having any long-term ties to Salem.

  Mimi is crying here
because she just found out that:
                    a.  she killed her father
                    b.  MAC is discontinuing its commerical-grade line
                    c.  her hair looks like this:

I need for all the Lockharts to be gone, ten minutes ago.  Also, I need for Max to cut his damned hair, but we can work on that later if Bonnie and her various spawn can just get disappeared.

Sami is once again involved in a Who's the Daddy storyline involving Lucas, she is once again having conversations that span ten episodes, she is once again probably going to have a relationship implode on her wedding day, she is once again being plotted against by Kate, she is once again going to disppoint her family, and she is once again probably going to mess with a DNA test (come on, you know she will).  Such fresh and creative storytelling!

On this week's installments of GeeI'mDumb's Island, Belle and Shawn have managed to make being stranded on a desert island boring and unromantic.  How is that even possible?  They finally started to hook up (something that might at least be moderately interesting), but it was one of the worst kisses I've ever seen on soaps (and I'm including John swallowing Marlena's face in that control group):

and then, to make it worse, Belle turned into Sandy from Grease, all "keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers!"
complete with this crap about how she doesn't even understand the concept of sex with someone you're not in love with (the woman has a child, and has been married - to a guy she admitted she wasn't in love with, hello hypocrisy - but they write her like she's a 16-year-old virgin), all in order to set up these contrived scenes where she's pouting and whining about Willow the hooker while Shawn is "stranded" outside their shelter in the rain using a palm leaf as an ineffective umbrella (okay, the tiny leafy umbrella part was unintentionally pretty hilarious), begging Belle to give him another chance even though I challenge any viewer to explain what about her is remotely appealing. Scintillating television.

There was one brief (pun intended) highlight to the island non-happenings, however:

No need to point, Sandra Dee.  I'm lookin'.

Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.

- Evil But Twinless


I'd be thoroughly entertained if random Days characters burst into songs from beloved musicals. Can't you just see Sami singing "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" in between scenes of her regressing to the mentality of a 12 year old?

Is that first picture of a man? Or a woman? I seriously cannot tell.

Yeah, someone should tell him Farrah hair is not okay if you have an Adam's Apple. The picture is of the man-boy they've brought on the show in an apparent attempt to make Drake Hogestyn win an Emmy by comparison.

PI, I am so totally on board for a soapy musical. I would pay money to see Chelsea sing "It's a Hard Knock Life."

all I can say about Shawn is....


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