GH Week in Review, Now With 85% Less Substance!

First, let me lead with a celebratory "eeeeeeeeee!!!" about General Hospital rightly being overlooked for a best show Daytime Emmy nomination.  Meanwhile, I'm pretending that the best writing nom doesn't exist, and that Nancy Lee Grahn being overlooked is some kind of misunderstanding.  Like a live-action reenactment of a Three's Company episode or something. These awards are such a joke. But blogging the fashion at the ceremony is going to be a blast. Somehow daytime folks manage to have more fashion catastrophes than those in other genres, and for that I thank them.

Anyway, this week on GH. I watched, seriously, about 15% of this week's shows yesterday, because I fast forward through almost all scenes:

1. involving Sonny
2. involving people discussing Sonny
3. involving Carly, mostly because I cannot stand looking at her heinous tops, though given the overlap with #1 and #2 this is usually not an issue (seriously, these are just unacceptable)
4. in which Alexis deals with having her child torn away from her, because they're just to difficult to watch on account of Nancy Lee Grahn - not one of the five best actresses in daytime, just ask the Emmys! - kicking ass.  (I must rant at some point about the preposterous custody "hearing," but I'm still at the point where I think if I did I would angrily destroy my computer, TV, and TiVo in the process.  Would it kill this show to insert an ounce of reality into its portrayal of the legal system?  Or to treat Alexis as something other than the gum on the bottom of its shoe?)
5. involving Sam, because I cannot be bothered to follow re-write #17 of her personal history
6. based on a contrived argument over construction materials

So, keeping in mind those sophisticated fast-forwarding criteria, I will sum up the 20 or so minutes of the show I actually watched, with the most unbelievable things that happened on GH this week:

• Carly and Jax had a four-episode-long argument over COUNTERTOP SURFACES.  For god's sweet sake.
• Sonny said Carly is the smartest woman he knows. (Carly isn't even the smartest woman he's had a child with.  And let's remember that in addition to Alexis, Sonny knows Robin, Monica, Emily, Tracy, hell even Alice, Christina, Molly . . .)
• Robin and Patrick were even more adorable. I worry, though, because there is a limit to the cuteness spectrum so soon they may just turn into animated kittens and rainbows.  (They're also totally hot, talking about sex without constantly getting half-naked, which is awesome but at the same time deprives us of Jason Thompson constantly getting half-naked, so I'm torn on that front.)
• They let this woman on-screen with a center part and no bangs. They also continued to perpetuate the ridiculous notion that audiences nationwide would be interested in Sam's "heroism."
• Maxie continued to become interesting (but is also becoming too skinny - Kirsten Storms, Nicole Richie is not a role model).
• Carly continued to act self-righteous about having married and slept with her manipulative mobster of an ex while her fiance was out of town helping a family member, and said fiance continued to pine after her.
• Lulu selected Pat Benetar as a fashion icon.   We get it, you're a real tough cookie with the long history, Lu!
• Carly let herself be manipulated by Sonny some more.  Oh wait, I'm sorry, we're doing a list of unbelievable happenings.
• I thought Ric was hot again; it must be the baby interaction.
• Spinelli got even more annoying.  He is the walking embodiment of an ingrown toenail.  I can't handle him anymore.
• Steve Burton's hair.  Dude, fix that.
• They still haven't up-sized Liz's pregnancy pillow.  She's like seven months along, but it looks like she's just getting over a big meal.
• I started to like Jason.

And finally, I have no real reason to post this screencap, other than that it seems to so perfectly encapsulate Jason and Sam's relationship that I feel compelled to:

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.

- Evil But Twinless

Comments

[Penny]

Great blog. Disagree Completely on you your option of Spinelli but hey no one is perfect :)

[Anonymous]

LMAO at the JaSam pic!

[andemcbeal]

I stopped watching GH years ago. I've always hated Brenda and when they decided to cast Kelly Monaco as Brenda-lite and have Carly and Sonny go another round with someone else, I bailed. You must explain to me what the hell Sam is doing in that picture and is Jason supposed to be doing? From other sources I've learned that Steven Burton is pretty strident about what he will and will not do because of his wife--at least now I know why I never saw a proper Jason love interest. But can't he even look at another woman?

[Evil But Twinless]

I can't remember the scene exactly, but Jason is on the phone, I think doing business (you know, related to KILLING PEOPLE FOR MONEY), and Sam, newly returned from the bizarre trip to do the contrived interview, is trying to be all coy and "haven't you missed me" and . . . yeah, I lost interest. I don't know. But the screencap entertains me endlessly.

penny, as for Spinelli, I could take him in small doses, but he is on all the damned time and with the speaking in the third person, calling himself "the Jackal," giving everyone stupid names, and worshipping Jason, I've just had my fill.

[andemcbeal]

Thanks for answering my question and I'm with you on Spinelli. I popped in the other day and good Lord is he ever annoying. The nicknames, the hair, the way he carries himself or rather, trips over himself. It adds up to one spastic package and in every way that is wrong and cringe inducing. For God's sake, he calls Jason, Stone Cold. What is wrong with him? Seriously, what is his deal? Is he just supposed to be the charming geek (a swing and a miss if that's the case) or does he have ADD?

[Evil But Twinless]

I'm pretty sure he was supposed to be a character on Days circa 2005 and Guza found the outline on a post-it in the trash after James Reilly got canned and ran with it. This also explains GhostAlan, the f'ing COUNTERTOP MATERIALS argument, and this storyline with Nicolas, Craig, and the paralyzing drug and antidote. Honestly, just try to talk about any of these things without rolling your eyes (a la the thankfully definitely dead Courtney). I dare you!