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« Objection! | Main | My Response Would Start with "Restraining" and End With "Order" »

May 16, 2007

Expression Hall of Fame

So, the content of the scenes with a drunken Sam ranting to her boss about her hitman boyfriend being a secret babydaddy was absolute nonsense, but I have to say, Kelly Monaco plays a fantastic drunk.  She must be lots of fun in real life.  I want to hang out with her, sipping martinis while dishing the dirt about Dancing With the Stars and Steve Burton's hair.  (Whether we would discuss how pathetic and grody her character has become would be totally up to her.)

Having been inspired -- as I so often am by alcohol, and ballroom-dancing celebrities -- I hereby create the Serial Drama Expression Hall of Fame.  I retroactively induct Sam's Airquotes of Accuracy/Outrage:


Plus Liz's WTF is Sonny doing at Carly's wedding glance, and Alexis and Robin's "Max, why you so crazy?" quizzical looks from the same event.

And the latest inductee, Drunk Sam!







Drop us an email with a screencap if you have a submission.  Any show, any era; we're equal opportunity kudos-givers just like we're equal opportunity mockers.

EMERGENCY EDIT!  Thanks to Lisa in the comments for reminding me of the expression after which our Expression Hall of Fame should be named!  I speak, of course, of Cameron's "bitch, please":



I don't have the techno saavy to include a screencap. But this expression definitely belongs in your HoF. It happens almost every episode so you can add one at your leisure. It's the bewildered stoney stare of Jason Morgan. Yes I know, this is all he does with the occasional blinkage. But....there are several slightly diferent versions of the blank stoney stare. I'm completely serious. I've been watching the deterioration of this once original and sexy character into the predictable lapdog with no remaining personality and greasy combed back hair since the beginning. I deserve a freaking Emmy for watching this shiite for so long! Anyway, my favorite expressions to be nominated are his post conversation w/ Carly or Spinelli. He stares just past the lens and you can hear SB saying inside his mind "My character used to be so complex and intiguing. Now I just do anything Carly says and pretend it's not pathetic or crazy. And this new kid? He's my new best friend and biggest supporter? I'm a hitman and he's a geeky computer hacker with teen acne. On what planet do I take him on jobs with me? I know JM is brain damaged, but this is pushing it way too far. The writers have finally lost their minds. And Sam...WTF? And Sonny's playing hippity skippity w/ a day player, seriously? Lorenzo and Craig are still actively trying to kill us, and Sonny's hookin' up again and I'm drooling over a baby lie again. A new story or even a decently written old one would be appreciated. I love job security, but being St. Jasus sucks." The utter confusion, frustration, boredom and nausea can indeed be seen in his nearly emotionless blue eyes. You just gotta look and watch every excruciating episode. So that's my Expression Hall of Fame nominee. Jason Morgan having Steve Burton's thoughts silently on screen.

i sent you guys four for possible induction

I also noticed that Sam continued her habit of over-using the air quotes, adding half air quotes around every third word or so speaking to Amelia, including the word shrink. Though given the only shrink in town at the moment is Lainey, I supposed describing her as a "shrink" wouldn't be inappropriate.

Oh and Cameron's "Bitch please" look. Can't forget that.

I cannot believe I forgot Cameron's "bitch please"! We should call it the Cameron Bitch Please Expression Hall of Fame! We will definitely induct him in the next round.

You forgot Carly's reaction to the Three Stooges' reaction to Lulu catching the bouquet.

Oooh, good one, Brett.

I think that John Black's Raised Eyebrow of (Insert Emotion Here) has a special place in the Cameron Webber "Bitch, Please" Hall Of Fame.

Actually, I think John Black's "smell the fart" reaction shot is more worthy. Hope's raised eyebrow is much better, IMO, especially from back in the day. Her Stockholm footage has some great ones. I'd also like to add that anything of EJ's should be there--if only to look at the pretty pretty Hottness. Every shot of him deserves a still.

I haven't watched DOOL since high school. Over 15 years ago!!!! But after reading Promising Ingenue and ElementaryDays comments I was gobsmacked. I totally remember that actor and his insane eye brow raises and "smell the fart acting" stares. He is far beyond over acting. He makes early Jim Carey seem like Laurence Olivier. And he used to breathe deeply through his nose too. Like a bull, when he was deep in thought or showing displeasure. It was a riot!

Sarah Brown and her nostril flaring deserve a place in the Hall of Fame too. When Sonny or Jason showed one moment of hesitation before doing her dirty work she would flare her disgusting pig nose nostrils at them. For some reason this convinced them Carly was both desirable and worth ruining themselves for, go figure?

ITA, Sarah. The flared-nostrils-of-intense-acting must be there. Oh, excuse me, make that flared-nostrils-of-emmy-worthy-acting. ?!? Whatevah.

Getting back to Days. I don't know how it could escape my Expression Hall of Fame ballot, but Marlena's effed up orgasmic face with squinty eyes and constant "O" shaped, gasping mouth is a winner. Pick a scene, any scene and it's sure to be there, but specifically, I'd nominate the scene when she got wind-fucked by John's spirit. Yeah, that's right...wind-fucked.

Hee, Marlena getting...I'm not repeating that.

I nominated Laura at LnL's second wedding during the pictures. Maxie ran in at the last second and everyone sort of blinked. Laura dropped her bouquet a little, leaned around to look at Maxie before getting back into position. She did this sort of incredulous double take. Funny as hell.

I also nom Kristina's smile when she and Lex were being escorted home by James Craig. It was so cute. She was holding his hand. Crush much?

I'd like to second Marlena's wind-fucked face, too.

She makes it every single time she sees John ad it only takes a single glance at him and she's creaming her jeans.

It's ghastly.

how about cameron's 'held up in the park and saved by leathery lady' faces? priceless, especially the one also with liz's wtf face.

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