Objection!

I couldn't even call this the Day's Dumbest Dialogue, because it's way more than just a day's dose of dumb.  This whole storyline with Scott trying to get guardianship of the doll with a bad wig that we're supposed to pretend is Laura is about a decade's worth of stupid.

Tracy to Luke:  When Scott Baldwin gets in front of that judge, he's going to paint you as an angry, violent, out-of-control man.  . . . He's going to try to prove that you're a danger to Laura.  . . . He's going to bring in witnesses, and old newspaper articles, and make public the fact that you raped Laura when she was a teenager.  And this great love that you shared, the one that Lulu has been raised to idolize, will appear like a decades-long pattern of abuse.

Jane Elliot's delivery was amazing, and Tony Geary's reaction was really powerful, but I'm sure they would join me in asking:  What the hell is going on here?! This makes no sense! 

Why on earth would a court hear evidence about what a louse Luke is, when Nikolas is the one who is Laura's guardian?  Luke and Laura are divorced (sob!), and he has no legal relationship to her whatsoever.  Even if Nikolas didn't want or couldn't handle the responsibility of making Laura's decisions, she has two other children -- wouldn't they be more likely candidates for caring for her than Scott Baldwin?  In what universe would a court even consider taking away  guardianship, from a woman's son who has a history of doing nothing but supporting and taking care of her, and giving it to the guy she was married to when I still had my baby teeth?!  Seriously, they split up more than a quarter century ago!  The only time you should be dealing with the guy you married and divorced during the Carter Administration in a court of law is if you're getting a restraining order against him or you're opposing counsels in a wacky-but-heartwarming romantic comedy!

Let's set aside the fact that if we're to believe Scott really still loves Laura (Dominique who?), it makes no sense that he would do something that is so clearly contrary to her wishes. Even if I could get past that, this whole setup is just monumentally moronic.  Do the writers not sit around and talk through ideas, so that someone has the opportunity to flag potential pitfalls?  Or does Guza just get an idea while he's pitching darts at his Genie Francis dartboard or working on his Tony Soprano impression in the bathroom mirror, and voila! an idiotic tale is born?

I absolutely think there's a great soapy story to be told with Lulu finding out about Luke raping Laura.  Before I knew it was on the horizon I said I thought it would be an interesting plot.  But why do they need to twist things around this way to get there?  It's ridiculously lazy. Why couldn't they have Logan turn out to be Scotty's son, who falls for Lulu, and just as things are going well for them Scott, in an attempt to scuttle a romance between his kid and the daughter of his mortal enemy, tells Lulu?  Or Lucky (the detective/daily cheater of death) could be investigating some horrible series of sexual assaults and the stress of that investigation leads him to fall off the wagon and in a stupor he tells Lulu about the rape.  I mean, I'm an idiotic blogger and I can sit here off the top of my head and give you a half-dozen better ways to tell this story.  Brainstorming is fun!  The GH writers should try it!

Also, on today's episode, did Lucky say they weren't asking Lulu to be Jake's godmother because she had an abortion last summer?  I seriously hate this show.  So much.  Like, more than I hate terrorists, or high-waisted pants.

Comments

[Lisa]

More than high waisted pants? More than dresses worn with pants? That's some serious hate.

Oh by the way- me too.

[ande mcbeal]

BWAHAHAHA! The whole rant about the baby teeth and the Carter administration was gold. The snark is leg --wait for it---- dary. I've got to go out and get your SOD column.

[Amy]

And yet...we STILL watch. Damn it. :oP

[CHH]

Listen, Amy, there is hope for you. I was once a GH viewer. It took a good three years but I managed to break the cycle of pain and stop watching. It can be done. I am proof of that.

We will not talk about the fact that I think I'm starting to fall off the wagon because of this blog.

[zarathelawyer]

Great post. And yes, this thing makes no sense whatsoever. I can't believe this is all they could come up with. And then it's both a bonus and curse that it's only on once or twice a week. Bonus because it's a stupid story, and curse because it means every time Luke or Tracy is on half their dialogue is clunky exposition to remind people of the stupid story.

Urg.

[melonfusion]

Yeah, none of this is making much sense. But I'm hoping that something is still in the works to explain Scott's wacky behavior. Like, there has got to be more payoff to the Scott killed Rick reveal than Lulu running around telling everyone but Luke and being told not to tell her father for fear that he'd kill Scott. Unless they're setting Scott up to be the victim in a murder mystery, at which point I give up.

Great post!

[Chad]

Yeah, they could have a whole "reveal" about how Rick Webber actually faked his death and Scott Baldwin was brainwashed (a la half the characters on Days) and it would still make more sense than all of this.

What the hell happened with Scott thinking Lulu was blackmailing him, anyway?

[Sara]

LOL at your hate this show comments.

I hate what Guza has done to Lucky lately. It's really horrid writing and awful to watch him suffer in this way. But that is Guza for you. He giveth with one hand ( Liz and Lucky marry, Liason baby) and takes away and destroys and beats to death with the other (Liz lies, Lucky looks like doofus, Jason looks weak and Spinelli makes more sense than he does.)

Love your blog and looking forward to your column.

[Jessica]

The only saving grace from yesterday's show was "One Hot Minute with Patrick and Robin."

Why, oh why, don't they get more airtime....those 2 scenes were the cutest things ever!

[Emily]

I know this is a soap and they're allowed to "stretch" the law for their own agenda but the Laura/Luke/Scott story is just absurd. It's only slightly more ridiculous than the whole "the government's going to think Emily's a terrorist so lets not call the police on the British sociopath" thing.

[Regency]

You hit the nail on the head in so many ways. LuNacy are being wasted and I like Lnl, but if there's no Genie, screw it.

Love your blog. I actually spent an entire weekend seeking it on Google because I couldn't remember what it was called. Found it!