My Life Is Complete

I was going to write an opening paragraph remarking on how the delightfulness of Days of Our Lives lately has totally blown my mind and how its soapy goodness was the perfect cure for a wretched day of extreme heat and people acting unbearably annoying, but OHMIGOD TONY DIMERA RODE IN TO MEET JOHN AND BO ON A HORSE

That trumps the need for a clever opening. This easily replaces the Melissa Gilbert as twins movie as the most awesome thing Thaao Penghlis has ever done and it could be one of my favorite moments in the history of ever. We might need to just cancel television because I don't know that anything will ever replicate the awesomeness of that moment.

But, yes, Days has, like wonderful reader andemcbeal mentioned, been entertaining in the good way. Let's take a look at the week...

(OMG A HORSE!!!)

Hey, John! Welcome back! I've missed you. It's really nice to see you upright and talking, rather than being comatose, or visiting people in dreams or, you know...doing whatever it was you did to Marlena that one time.

But can we keep this to a minimum?

I know you are a much beloved supercouple who was just reunited due to a near death, but seriously, back up off of that, please.

I'm surprised and pleased that they managed to keep the "Our love brought him back! Our love is like good medicine!" smugness to a minimum. Like, what the hell, has Marlena adapted a new philosophy where condescension is not in? The world feels all topsy turvy.

Oh, never mind, it turns out that what she's lacking in smugness, she's making up for with orgasm facial expressions in the background of a cute and long overdue scene with John and Sami and TMI discussion about having naughty sex with John. There's the Marlena we know and-there's the Marlena we know.

The sex kitten ship has sailed, Doc.

When on earth is Willow finally leaving? It seems like we learned of her imminent departure decades ago and yet she continues to pollute my screen with her mad eyes and her strange vocal inflections.

She did get off a pretty good jab at Shawn ("What are you gonna do, call me a skank, a whore? I've been called all that. You're not bright enough to come up with anything new"), but, I don't know, making a "Shawn is dumb" joke is like outrunning a three-legged dog. And, no, one snarky comment is not enough to make up for the "I DIDN'T SET THE FIRE!!!" whining she's done for the past few weeks despite the fact that she did, in fact, set the freaking fire.

But seriously, I am going to be okay with her continued presence on the show if we can have Hope slap her in every scene they share. In case you missed the magic the first time around:

I love you, Fancy Face!

I'm not feeling so much love for the new version of Stephanie. It's like they took everything I hated about the early days of Chelsea (minus vehicular manslaughter and an endearing portrayer) and slapped it on Steve and Kayla's kid who, considering her parentage, should be much cooler than she is. But between the "Papa" and the Deb wardrobe and bitchiness, I just can't make myself like her. Mostly because of lines like these:

Stephanie: We are the hot chicks who serve them drinks and wag our butts for the money boys. We get comped one night a week in sin city, plus an outstanding paycheck and all the tips we can stuff into our wonderbras.

Um, what? And also, ew.

So I am totally thrilled that the start of summer means that we're due to have a couple of months of wacky teen hijinx with Stephanie and Chelsea and the shirtless Max and Jeremy and Jett (Not to be confused with Jed, thank god, but still, not so much with the entertaining).

How "awesome" and "exciting" this summer will be. I "look forward" to watching the zany predicaments these "kids" find themselves in!

Speaking of zany predicaments: Belle, Shawn and Philip living together like one big happy...I don't know, what do you call it when a woman married a man that she didn't love and then had sex that she didn't remember with his half-nephew who actually turned out to be the father of her child, the revelation of which caused the woman and half-nephew to go on the run with the baby expressly to get away from the uncle/husband but, due to tragic circumstances, the three of them need to live together under one roof while searching for the baby? The word "family" just doesn't seem to do the situation justice.

Is the wardrobe department trying to test me? "I know she says she loves James Scott, but does she really? I know, let's put him in a pink shirt and purple tie and see if she still swoons".

Good try, wardrobe department, but I totally still swooned.

FUN FACT: James Scott's rapid blinking in his scenes is actually Morse code for "I love you dearly, Promising Ingénue . Someday, we'll be together".

I'm completely and utterly on board with the upcoming story about the origins of the Dimera/Brady feud. I think it's going to be fantastic. I'm super excited for Stefano, Lexie and Anna to be back, and I've totally been enjoying the Brady family scenes lately, now that they have finally accepted Sami as part of their family. I'm not optimistic about any of my other soaps this summer, but I know that Hogan won't fail me on this. You won't, Hogan, right? Right?!

I'm pretty much convinced that Bo and John deserve their own spinoff.  They are hilarious! The show would easily be better than Everybody Loves Raymond. I know that is not setting the bar high, but seriously, they are fantastic together. Tony could make guest appearances as their miserable neighbor across the hall!

Bo: Nah. Too eerie. Could never sell it.
John: Yeah, it makes sense when you think about it. Wouldn't be much fun waging war on the Bradys if you had to commute.

Tony: I prefer eccentric. Crazy -- there's a big difference -- implies some kind of insanity. I'm as sane as the next man.
John: Sure, you are, if the next man is Stefano.

Bo: You always go riding in your living room?
Tony: It's a morning room, not that you two clowns would know the difference.

Bo: Kidnapped Sami and took her to a warehouse where your even more psychotic father was being prepped for surgery.
Tony: A warehouse? I got to get him better health insurance.

Hilarious! Intentionally hilarious! If you'll excuse me, I'm off to propose the sitcom to CBS, I think it would fit in nicely on their Monday night lineup.

Comments

[lovindashow]

This week has been so GREAT! Days, seriously, it hasn't been this good in years. It's just good writing, good storylines, and satisfying revelations.

Love your take on it, as always. :)

I love James Scott's blinking. Anything to see those eyelashes in motion.

[kazou]

I only occasionally tune into Days -- usually when I've left Soapnet on and am doing other things I listen with half an ear. However, starting with Sami's wedding, I've had to sit up and take notice. That was the BEST soap wedding in recent memory. Now Tony DiMera on a HORSE? How can I resist. Days may have to find a place on my Tivo (of course, there's an opening since I gave up AMC).

[dryhumpronda]

I've actually stopped watching OLTL--OLTL and Days come on at the same time here in Cali--for two reasons. 1)I realize that I don't hate myself enough to suffer through Dena Higley, even as much as I enjoy Nash and Jessica and 2)Because Days got good again! I don't know, maybe it's the James Scott-ness of the show. I loved him when he was Ethan on AMC (except when he was all "I'M YOUR SON, ZACH!! YOUR SON!!!! And then "I'M YOUR SON WHO TOTALLY HATES YOU, ZACH!! HATES YOU!!!") and the love has grown.

It also helps that Hogan hasn't let me down so far. I'm actually looking forward to the summer?

[Tripp]

I'm loving me some days too! It is such a pay off with the stalling of earlier this year.

I was a big 80s fan but left in the 90s. I saw very little of Tony in the 80s or the 90s but today's episode won me over!

Not sure how I feel about the Saved by the Beach scenes but I'll give it time. The boys are pretty anyway (though I'm as fond as geeky boys like Nick as much).

[ElementaryDays]

Y'all are much more easy to please than I am. I've REALLY been trying to get on the Days bandwagon for a loooong time, but I'm just not feeling it. Guess, I'm a hard sell. I know all soaps have been suffering in general, but still...

Dear gawd! That Marlama and John gaping-mouth kiss photo is TERRIFYING and branded on my mind, waiting for me to go asleep and visit me in my nightmares. Thanks.

On the other hand, that photo still of Doc-the-Sex-Kitten banked by John and Sami at the Brady Pub, is the funniest shit I've ever seen! Can't.stop.laughing. Thank you.

[kazou]

Is it just me or does Drake Hogestyn look like Stan Laurel in that last pic?

[sue]

Thank you for the best laugh!! The show is definately getting better - and I agree the horse and Bo/John's expressions were priceless!

[ande mcbeal]

WHOOOHOOOOOOO! A Days blog! A fantastic Days blog! And it's not simply fantastic because I got a shout out. Hee. By the way, I'm so glad that you took my other post in the spirit that it was intended: that I enjoy your blog and really wanted to read your take on the happenings of the last week and you did not disappoint.

Deidre and Drake have to stop. That shit ain't cute. I can see tongue. Gross.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

Okay, I'm really glad (in a totally bitchy, insincere way) that you DOOL watchers are actually getting what sounds like actually entertaining soap, but can we get to the important things, like comforting each other over the hideousness that was Amelia's shirt and Liz's hair today on GH? And then imagine Cameron giving a "Bitch, please!" look to Sam and her crazy ass? Seriously, it's all we GH watchers have left!

[tara b]

Wow..there WAS dialougue that was intentionally funny...whooda thunk it? What a freakin gift, eh?
MG, and was that PACING this wek? Did the storyline actually move along? Good Greif, THERE IS A GOD!
Cant wait for the EJ/Tony scenes...only thing that would make it better was if that confrontation were naked and infused with exotic oils....hmmmm(fades off)!

Anyways, here's to great days this summer..woohoo!

[ElementaryDays]

Just had to comment on kazou's brilliant observation about John looking like Stan Laurel in that last photo still...it made me pee a little.

Also, Bourgeois Nerd, Days may have a couple of weeks of decent (yet uncompelling, IMO) soap, but GH has Scrubs...and Patrick, and Lucky and Coop. Days only has the HOPE of some lovin' and cute repartee...and as far as honest-to-goodness hot men (not boys, not gentlemen), it's just EJ, which to some is enough, but really isn't for an entire soap.

[danny]

Sorry to disagree, but that Jett Carver is smokin' hot. Other than that, I agree with everything else.

BTW, no shout out to the return of Doug and Julie? Maybe they'll even give Maggie something to do, though I'm pretty sure she's the new Alice. You know, the matronly figure trotted out to dispense sage advice to the younguns while relishing her sex free life and overdosing on cheap whore red hair dye... I can't even bring myself to call it color. Her colorist must hate her as much as the makeup department that shellacs her face on. I kid because I love.

Maybe Maggie and Roman could get it on, since Mickey was apparently trapped in the Brady attic once Max escaped. Anything to spare us another Billie/Roman pairing, though he'll probably hookup with Anna again. Seriouosly, what's Billie gonna do now that EJs all about Sami. Days cast is getting huge! Maybe she can creepily hook up with another one of the teen set.

[Susan]

I'm totally loving Days too!!!! I was in love with the whole set of scenes at the mansion with Tony, Bo, John and Bart! I'm also loving every scene with EJ and Tony - every scene they're in together is amazing - sibling rivalry rocks!

I also agree with the John and Marlena cheese and kissing stuff - less is more here! And I really don't understand how the same soap that can bring us these great Brady/Dimera scenes this week - can bring us this stupid Chelsea/Stephanie/Jeremy/Jett/Max Storyline! I mean the only the good about these scenes so far has been Chelsea pointing out how stupid this whole idea is in the first place!

[L2]

Here's hoping that whenever they decide to finally add Steve and Kayla to the mix to trump the evil DiMera's (whom I love with all my heart along with the Cassadines), they don't screw it up.

Days has been resurrecting itself over the past month and I think it is going to be an awesome summer.

Tony on a horse!

[Evil But Twinless]

I knew it was coming but still, TONY ON A HORSE!!! was brilliant. I loved the whole thing. I loved that first they just heard the horse, I loved that then Bo went "what the hell?!" outloud, I loved that then he burst through the flimsy double doors, I loved seeing TONY ACTUALLY ON THE HORSE, I loved his dismount, I loved his cattiness about it actually being a "morning room." But most of all, I think, I loved Bo and John's "WTF?!" reactions as they opened the doors and saw TONY ON A HORSE:
http://imageigloo.com/images/4210bojohnwtf.jpg

I want to frame that and hang it on my wall.

[ElementaryDays]

John cracked me up through the whole TONY ON A HORSE! sequence. Truly craptastic. And that WTF?! still is Pultizer worthy.

[Regency]

I just knocked OLTL off my vcr and put on Days. And it's getting awesome. I haven't watched in about two years, but you've convinced me that it's time to go back. I'm not sorry I did. If it ain't awesomely good, it's straight camp and I'm for it.

Bo and John are so made up of awesome.

Willow needs to take her "baby" and die in a plane crash.