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« Where Was My Viewer Discretion Notice?! | Main | Please Bear With Us - Technical Problems »

June 06, 2007

The Day's Dumbest Dialogue: GH on a Roll

This is what happens when stupid people try to write a "smart" character:

Spinelli: Stone Cold, uh, look, I just came by to check to see if the mighty ten laid down by the old wise dudes was properly being adhered to?

Cop: The what?  [Ed. note:  Dude, WORD.]

Spinelli: See, uh, Stone Cold here was guaranteed certain unalienable rights by our founding fathers. You know number four protects against cruel and unusual punishment, so if you or any of your brothers in arms violate that rule, the Jackal will rain down terror on you like the goth god of zune (?). 

That's the eighth amendment, not the fourth, dipshit writers.

Also, NO HUMAN BEING TALKS LIKE THIS.  God.  I think if I have to listen to even error-free Spinelli-speak for another week, I'm going to have a mini-breakdown and my mind is going to do awful things to compensate for the trauma I've been through.  I worry that if I'm even able to emerge from my fetal position in the corner, you'll have to suffer through post after post about what a good man Sonny is and how I covet Carly's wardrobe.


I glossed over this dumb dialogue because of the amazing Robin and Patrick scenes where we got the following things rarely seen on GH:

-History (that wasn't changed)
-Talk about a past relationship that didn't destroy the past relationship
-Brenda, Sonny and Brenda, Jax and Brenda and Clink/Boom references (Still waiting for the Coop last name revelation)
-Acknowledgment that what Sonny and Jason do for a living is criminal and morally wrong
-Character/History driven exposition
-Robin and Patrick on screen for more than 5 minutes in one day
-A supportive boyfriend who (hotly) listened

I could continue on- so while Spinellese drives me batty (I swear the writers think more about how Spinelli would say something than figuring out that how to avoid giant holes in their plots) I'll let it slide today.

Love the blog!

I was really hoping that once Bradford signed a contract they'd tone done the Spinelli-ese so they can flesh him out as a character and, you know, make him believable as a human being.

Lmao, go GH-three days in a row! Is this a new record?! How many more days do we think it'll continue? And as lovely as some of the Scrubs conversation over JnR was, it totally glossed over much of the ugliness that occured during JnR II. Plus, I didn't like Robin taking the blame or admitting that she liked controlling Jason. Just, ugh. Also, who talks to their boyfriend about their former bf's *beautiful blue eyes*?! Lol, oh well. It could've been worse, but as it stands, it was just *aiight* for this viewer. Keep up the snarking ladies! :)

Not having any tolerance for Jason and the pedestal he is on, I was irritated with some of the Scrubs conversation also. But then I realized that Robin was actually pointing out that Jason is a disappointment, a hitman, working for a man who does many illegal things and brings danger to all around him and that many people who should know better make rationalizations and excuses for their horribleness. And she was accurately describing GH history.

I started screaming, "Awesome Writer is alive!"

Obviously Awesome Writer slips in replacement script pages after the Sucky Writers leave for the day. And Awesome Writer cannot re-write every scene of every episode, hence more over-the-top Spin speak. Or perhaps Awesome Writer did write for Spinelli in the hopes of continuing GH's stranglehold on "The Day's Dumbest Dialogue"?

Thank you so, so much for hating spinelli as much as I do. So many people seem to be warming up to him, and even pushing for a "Spinlu" romance. The very thought makes me ill. He's annoying, and the hair does not help matters. I need hot men to distract me from the crappiness of GH, and, honestly, Spinelli is not doing it for me.

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