Um, What?

So I'm back from vacation, with access to a computer for the first time in ages.  I'm catching up on a couple of weeks' worth of:   soaps (summary:  Days = upward trajectory continues, GH = circling the drain, except for my BFF and Scrubs), Promising Ingénue's hilarious posts, Lindsay Lohan's coke-fueled shenanigans,  celebrity fashion missteps, vitally important shoe commentary, and world news (by which I mean, whatever world news makes its way to Wonkette), when my innocent internet-surfing eyes were subjected to the most puzzling and depressing "news" item in eons.  And no, it's not about the Middle East or Darfur or Sienna Miller being named a fashion icon.  It is, as all truly significant things are, about the Daytime Emmy awards.

CBS has released the official list of Daytime Emmy presenters, and, good news first, Tony Geary and Genie Francis will be presenting together!  Nice move, GH.  So nice in fact that I'm going to assume (given the ample amounts of evidence that the GH showrunners both hate Genie Francis and/or Laura, and don't like giving TV time to pairings with chemistry) that the GH folks had nothing to do with it.  I like to imagine CBS doing an end-run around the ABC idiots to ensure Luke and Laura are together again.  It would truly be awesome if they present the award in the younger actress category, since it will be a crime against nature, Orangina, lycra, and all other good things in the world if Julie Berman doesn't win that one.  So anyway, yay!  Cool presenters from GH.

Then I read a bit further and got to the puzzling/depressing part.  The signature couple the Days of Our Lives powers-that-be have decided to highlight on this nationally televised prime-time event is  . . . Steve and Kayla?  Bo and Hope?   John and Marlena?  John and his eyebrow?  Sami and Lucas?   Victor and his mustache?  Chelsea and Nick?   EJ and his sexgodliness?  Sadly, none of the above.  They have selected . . . DRUMROLL, PLEASE . . .

Shawn and Belle!

Seriously.  Brandon Beemer and Martha Madison.  What?!  Is there a single fan of this pairing anywhere on earth?  And if so, why?  I mean, even if I could get past all that purity ring/unconscious sex in a burning barn bullshit from a few years back and take them seriously as an adult couple, I'd still be left with the fact that Belle is a robot from the 1950s and the most significant thing they've done as a twosome is throw their toddler off a cruise ship. As recently as a few months ago, Shawn was sleeping with a pyromaniac hooker while Belle was, well, what was Belle doing?  What does she ever do?  She has no job, no life really besides whichever guy she happens to be dating/marrying (aka "whining at"), unless you count raising that baby who, let's be honest, doesn't appear to be terribly fond of her.  (I actually read an article in which Martha Madison, who seems quite cool, said that one of the twins who plays Claire hates her and they sometimes choose to use that one specifically depending on the scene.  Hee!)

Anyway, neither of these actors originated the characters so it's not like they're drawing on some long history together.  Who actually cares about this couple, and even if they do have a fanbase, how can it possibly be significant enough to warrant them being the only Days cast representatives at the Emmys?  Is everyone else boycotting on account of the show not getting a single acting nomination?  Is the Days table just going to be Brandon (hopefully shirtless) and Martha, plus some key grips and camera operators and a James E. Reilly dummy [redundancy alert] being burned in effigy?

To cheer myself up I tried to look at the list of presenters to see who was most likely to make our first annual Serial Drama Daytime Emmy Live Blogging Extravaganza more interesting.  A fashion success or failure is possible with every presenter and attendee, god bless them, and then the substance (or "substance," since this is the Daytime Emmys we're talking about) is promising too.  Tyra Banks is likely to have some hellacious weave or declaration in support of curvaciousness about which we can wax poetic, Ellen is incapable of not being entertaining, and Joy Behar might decide that the time is finally right to push Elizabeth into an orchestra pit, so overall I'm very optimistic.  (By the way, does Mario Lopez's presence on that list mean he got the Price is Right gig?  Bob Barker to AC Slater?  Downgrade!)

Oh, and Peter Bergman is presenting, which means after that point in the show I'm going to be on my own, unless I can find some smelling salts for when Promising Ingénue passes out due to an overdose of "eeeeee!!!."

Comments

[Celine]

First of all -- glad you're back, and I hope you had a great vacation.

And I have to say, "Victor and his mustache?" is brilliant. But, then, you and PI are always brilliant. And I'm not just saying that. Actually, I'm typing it. But I mean it, too.

[ElementaryDays]

WTF?! Indeed. My guess is that Shelle could only be there for one reason: to represent Corday's itty bitty hard-on he perpetually has for them.

I'm sooo looking forward to your Daytime Emmy Live Blogging Extravaganza! Have any info about when it starts? I wish the FugYourselfGirls were living blogging, as well. Double the snark.

Oh! If James Scott or Jason Thompson should show up, I expect a fully detailed account of both hotnesses. Thanks! And so good to have ya back--getting a new blog is like finding money in your pocket! Makes for a good squee.

[kazou]

Good to have you back! Although PI kept us laughing in your absence, it's always better to have the two of you tag-team us.

Looking at the list of "younger actress" nominees as well as JMB's material this year, one would think the statuette is hers but I'm hearing conflicting theories. "Judge," Asshat and Grand Pimpmaster Michael Bruno told Soapnet that JMB *should* win but won't because of her submissions. He said the first clip was very yell-y (which I can totally see since JMB seems to be taking her acting lessons from Laura!Wright!'s Carly!!) and her second clip showcased Genie Francis instead of JMB. OTOH, Gold Derby says Berman nailed the first clip and that, although eyes were on "the wonderful Genie Francis ... Berman proved she can hang with the heavyweights in daytime. She ... shares unbelievable chemistry with Geary and Francis." I think it's hers to lose and Hollywood loves any issue-oriented storylines that can stick it to the Christian right so that might tip the scales further in her favor. I wish she'd tone down her "one-note" tendency to yell though. Her abortion scenes and recent screen-time with Geary prove she's got the chops but she's falling into some awfully bad habits which may stick (just look at Maurice Bernard).

As for Mario Lopez bagging "The Price Is Right," he may be occupied this fall. CW Network (is that an oxymoron?) just announced they've picked up the mid-season show “Eight Days a Week,” starring Lopez and Christina Milian. It's a single-camera show produced by W&G's Sean Hayes and has a strong supporting cast (including Rosa Blasi of "Strong Medicine") which means it probably has legs. Not sure if that precludes Lopez from taking a day job but who knows.

Links:
http://soapnet.go.com/specials/emmys07/playclips.html?clip=special/emmy_roundtable_2007_1-sn.flv&heading=Emmys%20Roundtable

http://goldderbyforums.latimes.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/1206019864/m/51410015

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com:80/showtracker/2007/05/cw_picks_up_eig.html

[Bourgeois Nerd]

Welcome back!

[esp13]

According to those that were at a fan event this weekend, Stephen Nichols and Mary Beth Evans are attending the Emmys, so at least Martha and Brandon will have someone to talk to at the Days table. Heck, maybe they'll even ask for tips on how to act like a couple in love.

[andemcbeal]

Welcome back!

[L2]

Glad you are back. Shawn and Belle? WTF indeed.

[BringBackEugene]

I have to give you major kudos about your MM/BB comment. I have been pushed so much on the opposite comments (that the whole world is Shelle-crazed), that reading your commentary is extremely refreshing and reassures me that I have not been implanted with the anti-Shelle mind chip by some crazed Belle hater.