Sorry, I Can't Blog Anymore

Because my EYES have rolled fully back into my HEAD therefore rendering me blind, due to watching this stupid "trial" on General Hospital the last couple of days.  I get that the powers-that-be are too cheap and/or arrogant to hire a legal consultant -- and really, who am I to know or demand perfect legal accuracy, or at least who am I to do it repeatedly -- but for the love of god, have these people never even seen an episode of Law & Order?  Evidence has to be relevant.  Attorneys don't get to argue in their opening statements or while they're questioning witnesses.  A prosecutor can't run around calling a defendant a mobster and a "hired killer."  Criminal trials aren't just a parade of character witnesses.  A DA can't talk to a defendant without the defense attorney present and can't have a thousand conflicts of interest.  A murder case without a body, a witness, a confession, or a weapon isn't airtight.  Witnesses don't sit and chat with each other while they watch other witnesses testify on closed-circuit TV.  SO STUPID.

While the writers time and again scoff at the notion of any semblance of factual accuracy, I'm making my own list of random other things that should be happening repeatedly:

• Carly shutting up
• Coop getting shirtless
• Liz growing a spine
• Maxie touching up her roots
• Jerry getting smacked
• Spinelli chilling out
• Jason cutting his hair

I am reasonable and would therefore settle for any three of the above.  As long as one is Carly shutting up, because my eardrums are important to me.

Comments

[Kelly]

I'm as impressed by your ability to write with your eyes rolled so far back into your head you fear they may never come down again as I am by my own ability to read that way.

I'd like to close with a rip-off the Simpsons by saying "Stupidest.trial.ever." but then I got to thinking. Bad habit, I know. There's the hearing in which Ric won custody of Molly and the whole debacle of Laura's guardianship and any other trial of SaSon that has come before so really we could spend the rest of our lives debating which GH trial is the stupidest ever.

[Skip's Girl]

I agree that there is way too much "artistic license" where legality is concerned in this show.The case against Jason is air tight??!!! How? No body, no witnesses, physical evidence,etc. Ridiculous.
For my list of three......Carly shutting up three times. She has only one volume level, shouting, has nothing to do with her life but go around sticking her nose in EVERY story going on in town (HER town, remember?) Refuses to wear a bra, and I wonder why she can't find a new color lipstick to wear....ANY color will do. Please lose the nude frosted stuff, and have a make-up make-over. Her hair, though, is fabulous....almost as fab as Kate's. Almost.

[penny]

it bad isn't it.. I can't get over how bad this is to being legally acurate.. I don't ask for perfection or soaps. I mean it is a soap right? but this whole case has been a MESS.. horrible. Its just bad.

Have we even seen evidence about the case yet? wait all they have is the 'call' and a recording. That is evidence of nothing.. With some other evidence it would weave together but they don't' have anything else.. no blood, no gun shots heard. Ric even got he stupid evidance illegally.

a capital trial would never happen this quick ether., I could go on.. seriously someone could write a book how bad this is.. . The only thing that is 'real' is that it has a judge a jury and a defendant.. (Ric would never ..NEVER be able to be part of this case in real life, personal issues with jason, formally married to witness,brother of Jason's business partner and OTHER reasons)

[psychomachia]

Between GH's mockery of a trial (a defendant getting to talk to anyone he wants to even though he's supposedly blocked from visitors, witnesses chatting about the mobsters they're hanging out with, 'evidence' being gathered from his house weeks after the person is arrested) and OLTL's police force consisting of a commissioner who personally investigates crimes, one detective who tries to convince murder suspects they didn't do it, and another detective who yells "Freeze" after shooting someone , ABC is making my little L&O watching head bang repeatedly against the table. And no one wonders why Liz and Kate are the current witnesses in a trial completely not about them? Shouldn't Skye be called first? Sonny? Hell, Spinelli, who Ric knows hangs out with Jason all the time.

And Carly is the reason I have no hearing left these days. She's so shrill small dogs in Antarctica howl when they hear GH come on.

[Sarah]

Great list, but you forgot:

- Robin and Patrick appearing on screen for more than five minutes per week
- Robin and Patrick getting a romantic front-burner storyline
- Robert and Luke returning for an adventure!
- Anna displaying her general fabulosity every day

[TV's Tim]

You know, this is the first time ever that I have zero interest in watching any ABC soap. I mean, there isn't a storyline or actor (past or present) or anything else they could pull out of their hats ("but that trick never works!") that could convince me to continue watching this tripe. DAYS and Y&R are also pretty bad, but I have a very limited history with those shows and I can't really compare them to the "glory days" of the 70's and 80's. But I remember when AMC was great, GH was awesome and OLTL was at least watchable. Now, I can't sit for five minutes before switching to something else.

Today, I actually started watching PASSIONS (!!!) rather than sit through another hideous episode of OLTL and found myself thinking that it wasn't half bad. At least PASSIONS embraces its' own cheesiness instead of pretending to be relevant or socially conscionable and griping about not winning an Emmy when YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN NOMINATED IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE. Seriously now, did anyone watch OLTL last year and think to themselves, "this here is some fine award-winning drama!" (aside from the clearly intoxicated people who voted for the Best Show nomination)? I sincerely doubt it.

At this point, I don't even know how to begin to fix all the problems. Bad writing, unappealing characters, lousy acting, insanely low budgets and people in charge who would much rather replace the genre with cheap reality shows than try to save it. And now TIIC have corrupted the one place where fans could conceivably watch the shows they once loved and maybe even relive their primes (SoapNet) and cancelled perfectly good soaps only to replace them with reality garbage and shows that aren't even remotely connected to the soap world (The Fashionista Diaries?!?). As lame as the show was most of the time, at least "Soap Talk" was, you know, ABOUT SOAP OPERAS. Why not just show Roller Derby while you're at it?

Absolutely pathetic.

[V]

After I sat for five minutes with my mouth agape because I didn't think this... trial?... could get any worse I watch Ric Lansing, "Let's watch this video that has no relevance to the case a THIRD time in slow-mo."

Incompetent Judge #240 of GH judges: Yes, you may proceed.

Jurors: (various oos and ahhs) *evil glances to Jason*

Poor little innocent Jason looked so sad and forlorn. *boo hoo*

And then the side issues of everyone harping on how Sam (Carly? Spinelli? Liz? eventually Kate?) was so evil and getting back at Jason. o_0

She simply answered the questions truthfully. OMG why would she do that under oath? The truth? O_O Why not lie like Liz plans to do. Of course, why the heck is Liz there again?

Please be careful your eyes don't get stuck that way, EBT. :D

Great blogging as always!

[Melissa]

It really amazes me how little the writing team at GH cares or has cared for little details going back years. Now, I understand when there are only two or three lawyers in town - sure there will be some conflict of interest as far as things like Alexis or Ric defending/prosecuting Sonny or whatever. But it is true that GH stopped trying to even have a veneer of truth in their courtroom scenes years ago.

And the fact is, I understand Guza, the head writer, is paid very, very well. He could at least take a little pride in the details. But I think the behind the scenes team at GH burned out years ago.

[zarathelawyer]

After today's episode - Tuesday - my list consists of Carly shutting up, Carly shutting up and Jerry getting hit like a whack-a-mole.

Though Ric reaching the end of the episode and demonstrating that he actually has a clue was kind of nice. It's just a pity we had to wade through so much crap to get there.

But Carly really needs to shut the hell up, about everything.

[Sarah]

How sad is it that viewers from every walk of life know exactly how poorly GH is written in respect to medicine and law. We are far more qualified to write GH because we have seen episodes of Dynasty, House, Law and Order, and ER. Guza is a hack from hell. He should be hiding in a bunker from the shame of what he has done to GH. GH doesn't need to be uber realistic, but does it have to be so incredibly stupid? It's a soap w/out love, romance, or even a super couple. Which GH created in the damn 70's, L&L!!!

I've always embraced my love for oddball or lame television. But if someone asked me if I watchd GH, I'd be embarrassed to yes. Because it isn't even camp. It just sucks.

Is there no new Gloria Monty, Claire Labine, or anyone capable of saving GH from further humiliation before all soaps die? Do enough viewers really love Sonny, Carly, and Jason so much even in their current incarnations to warrant the downward spiral that is now GH? I find that hard to believe.

[becky_jean]

The only ones truly on trial (and suffering)in this entire fiasco are the viewers.

I once asked my cousin, a D.A. in a large city, what if he doesn't think someone he's prosecuting is guilty. He said you don't prosecute if you don't think you have a case. Pretty elementary. So here we have no investigation into what might be considered a disappearance and, hence, no reason to believe there's been a death, much less a murder. We have a recording in which one hears, "'Morgan.' Clunk." That's not damaging evidence, it's a Seinfeld episode!

Sarah said, "Do enough viewers really love Sonny, Carly, and Jason so much even in their current incarnations to warrant the downward spiral that is now GH? I find that hard to believe."

I have been wondering that myself for a very long time. And if it's true that the majority of viewers love Jason & Sonny as heroes, leading men, etc. . . . what is wrong with people!?!?

"Now, I understand when there are only two or three lawyers in town."

Yes, and to some degree it's always been this way on GH, and with doctors, too. It's understandable that they might not have every kind of doctor or lawyer as main characters, but specialties have always been a bit of a joke in Port Charles. A researcher assists in surgery. A heart specialist operates on brains. Corporate lawyers do criminal defense. Criminal lawyers handle family court cases. Etc.

If you're a lawyer and you watch this stuff, you don't get to complain. Make up your mind.

[Beltane]

There are just sooo many things wrong with this show right now that it would take far too long for me to type them all out. And, realistically, with this current regime in charge, they don't care and they won't change. So I'll settle for one thing they can do to make watching this train wreck a little more palatable: Carly SHUTTING UP!!!

[Snarkgirl]

Phew! Sounds like I took GH off my scheduled recordings just in time!!!

[Ms Chicklet]

Jason let Zander be set up for shooting Brian so Courtney wouldn't have to take responsibility for her sick, selfish actions. And that's on top of killing people for a living. Why should we feel sorry for him? Jason, meet Karma. Karma, Jason.

I am so sick of Jason and ugly rodent-faced Steve Burton ruining this show.

[dexie]

The whole justice system in Port Charles is messed up. I mean let's face it,. Sonny and Jason ARE murderers but never seem to go to jail for it. Which is why I sorta understand Ric's frustrations. But as someone else pointed out, the whole Molly custody issue and Laura's guardianship were just a mockery altogether. Remember the Manny Ruiz case?