Days of Our Lives Week in Review

I continue to go back-and-forth about Days these days.  When I sit down to write a week in review, I realize not much happened.  But unlike General Hospital, I don't want to hunt down the writers and do them bodily damage.  It's more like I want to shake them, and make them repeat their moments of awesomeness more consistently.  I'm optimistic that the recent behind-the-scenes changes will effectively do that.  Especially because I went on a Container Store spree recently, so I can't afford the airfare to LA.  And I think that pesky restraining order that James Scott so outrageously took out against me and Mallory will mean I can't even get through the gate at the studio.  So unnecessary, James!  You don't see Jason Thompson reacting that way to our harmless affection, do you?  Okay, you do.  But you're both being overly sensitive.

I can't fight it anymore.  I have decided to embrace this crazy-ass version of EJ.

Give him Santo's hideous mustache to twirl, have him wander the streets speaking in tongues, send him on yet another nonsensical character detour that shows no personal growth and is impossible to follow.  I'll just gaze at him and try to devise a workable plan for James Scott to pass his genes along to as many male members of the next generation as possible.  I'm doing it for the children.

I went on record opposing any baby-related storyline for Steve and Kayla.  But, contrary to vicious internet rumors, I am not dead inside.  And this particular baby, well, he is one of the cutest, most expressive infants I've ever seen.  I cannot resist the draw of Pocket.

Outrageously adorable.  And since this is totally Phillip and Mimi's baby (right?), meaning he'll only temporarily consume Steve and Kayla's time, I'm totally okay with it. 

By the way, Stephen Nichols continues to have one of the best written celebrity blogs ever.  I so look forward to the changes the Dude in the Orange Shoes will bring about.

My many requests for the sound guys to turn down the lip mics when Sami and Lucas make out have gone unanswered.  Maybe the writers will be more responsive?  Dear writers, Lucas is not funny.  If you're going for funny, make it funny.  You're not hitting the mark.  "Let's name our twins Mac and Cheese" is not funny.  "Do you have those compression hose in fishnet" is not funny.  "She'd be safer in a room full of rabid bats!" is not funny.  The Kama Sutra can be funny, I suppose, but it wasn't.

Like with all the writing for these two, it's trying too hard.  Sami and Lucas are IN LOVE.  They have LOTS OF SEX.  Lucas is FUNNY AND SUPPORTIVE.  Not that you would ever know any of that based on their actions alone; the emotions have to be broadcast in figurative skywriting across the screen.  It's just . . . please, turn it down a few notches.  It seems so forced, and it's doing the actors no favors.

Also, that is the worst pregnancy pillow I've ever seen.  I'm pretty sure they just pulled it off a couch.  In one scene I think I saw decorative piping and a tassel.

Anna, where have you been?  Don't ever leave for so long again!  It's so boring without you.

They really need to give Anna a story, and also stop pretending like we would believe for even a second that she's torn between Tony and Roman.  I mean, come on.

Nick and China Lee and her kids.  Ugh.  I hate this story.  I don't find it wacky, or fun, or in any way entertaining.  Is that wrong?  I can't even find anything to make fun of, because the whole thing is just so fast-forwardable.  They really needed for Nick to have married someone the audience could give a crap about.  Or make the story with China Lee actually funny, instead of cringe-inducing "funny."  See also Roberts, Lucas.

I was a bit disappointed by the Bo and Hope in Ireland plot this week.  Another bomb?  Meh.  But I need for the Brady/DiMera storyline to continue for many more months, not only because it gives the veterans such fun stuff to do, but because I could listen to Tony say "vendetta" all the live long day.  Ven-DEH-taaah.  Ven-DEH-taaah.  Ven-DEH-taaah.  I want to make Thaao Penghlis saying "that damned ven-DEH-taaah" my cell phone ringtone.

HOLY FUCK, Jeremy is actually involved with human trafficking?!  I warned the writers about the dangers of taking our jokes literally!

I'm also very concerned about where they're going with this story about the frightened Russian girl who doesn't speak English huddled in Jeremy's (well, Bo and Hope's) living room.  A while back I made a joke about Jeremy using his stupid airline as part of a human trafficking plot. That was just a joke, not a recommendation!  If the powers-that-be at soaps start taking our off-hand sarcasm literally, we'll end up with, among other things, Bob Guza having a Genie Francis dartboard, dead fathers advising daughters to get STD tests, a police commissioner painting toenails and fetching dry cleaning,  writers imprisoned in cells by armed guards, all while I have a mini-breakdown and am forced to wear zippered-ankle Guess jeans and Promising Ingénue routinely does her Dolly Parton impression and stops brushing her hair. 

But did they listen?  Nooooo.

The worst part of this twist?  I picked this exact moment to decide that Trevor Donovan is hot.  Jeremy "Horton" is still loathsome, though.  And somehow even being involved human smuggling didn't make him interesting.

And the rest of the Touch the Sky storylines are no better.  Including Jett, the least engaging, and most oddly-accented, spy ever.

Max to Jett:  Okay, Shaft, just chill.

I hope Richard Roundtree is en route to give the writers a beatdown.

Speaking of Max, who I guess is supposed to be the "hero" in this situation . . . Nothing good happens to Max in Vegas.  He gets beat up, finds out his business partner's into counterfeiting, makes out with Stephanie, finds out his business partner's into human smuggling.  Why does he keep going?  Is the gambling that good?  I thought he was sinking all his airline profits into his auto shop?  In the wise words of that heffa who insists on continuing to date the delicious Josh Duhamel (some call her Fergie), Max:  If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home.  In fact, even if you do have money, take your ass home.  AND STOP MAKING OUT WITH YOUR NIECE.

Comments

[Stephanie]

I could rant and rave about the vomit inducing Niece lovin' all day long.

[Paola]

LOL! It dosent matter what James Scott does, he's so dreamy that all is forgiven...SO True!!

[Emily (julianscat)]

But only if I can have a cell phone with "cigarrrrrrrr" on it. Or, for that matter, "Bzzzzzt!" Or Stephen Nichols saying, well, anything, but that may be my problem.

[Elisabeth]

Is that adorable baby's name really Pocket?

[Chad]

I always thought that Jeremy "Horton" looked like a creepy, life-size Ken Doll, but that pic of him confirms it. Is the actor a Gigolo-Bot prototype?

[Amy]

Elisabeth, he was abandoned at the hospital by his birth mom, who was a surrogate for Phillip and Belle. His real name is Tyler Kiriakis but they don't know that so Kayla calls him Pocket cause he's little enough to put in a Pocket.

Loved the recap, as always. James Scott is the utter hotness and he can make even EJ's nutty mood changes work for me! Free EJami, get rid of Lumi!

[ElementaryDays]

Dear god, Chad, "Gigolo-Bot" is perfect for Jeremy! Love it!

[Chad]

Hee, thanks! :)

[Tripp]

Great stuff!

I do like Jeremy but I find him more intriguing as a bad guy.

I wish the show would give Jett the shaft! Most useless ISA agent EVER!

[Kazou]

Wow. Just Wow. I think James Scott is terrifically hot but that screencap is beyond hot. The way it captures the twinkle in his eye? I *heart* that picture. (To use a jr. high expression. If the computer allowed it, you'd see me dotting my "i's" with hearts because JS is just that dreamy!)

Incidentally, I must compliment you on your choice of screen caps. Last week's Cam Mathison shots gave me nightmares but were the perfect accompaniment to that post. And with both JS and GH's Patrick, you always manage to nab one or two with complete and utter hotness. (Oh and let's not forget Logan's brutal hotness.) The pics *may* be as good or better than the writing. (Naaaahhh.) ;o)

[Ellie]

Love your blog. LOL at the Lucas/Sami comments... couldn't agree more. And I also noticed the pregnancy pillow.

And yeah, when you send the Days writers your letters, could you throw in a thesaurus? "Vendetta" got very old, very fast.

[oval]

Gigalo-bot....you hit the nail on the head, but unfortunately, I am starting to like him. I have a friend who's brother he is creepily like (wanting to be Top Gun's Iceman), so it is a bit weird.

I love your take on everything....even the "Soaps you do not watch." Sometimes I think you read my mind, but just not often enough.

Could you do a favorite villain poll?

[Stephanie]

Great blog as usual! I agree about the hotness of James Scott. But his character's many personalities lately confuse me. I have an idea. TPTB should just have the man make out! He is the best kisser in daytime. I know he is talented and I don't mean to objectify him but it is merely my suggestion on how to improve the ratings. Let me know what you think?

And I'm glad someone else didn't buy Anna pretendig to be coflicted about Tony and Roman. Come on is right!

And enough with the Lucas and Sami sexcapades. In fact, enough of Lucas Roberts. Put him back in the freezer.