Least Shocking Trial Ever
To the tune of The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song . . .
Who can turn the world cold with his eyes?
Who can take a cell phone call, and suddenly head out to neutralize?
Well it's Jason, and you should know it
With each shot and every body-dumping he shows it
Mobsters are heroes, no need to deny
Better than dumb cops, doctors, and spies
He's gonna go free after all
He's gonna go free after all
Who can kill more than that monkey flu?
Who can fight, or smile, or kill, with the expression of a statue?
Well it's Jason, and you should know it
With each tarp and every broken kneecap he shows it
Mobsters are heroes, no need to deny
Better than dumb cops, doctors, and spies
He’s gonna go free after all
He’s gonna go free after all
Why can't he go back to med school?
Hitman can't do career day at Jake's pre-school
Isn't it about time he did retire?
Someone new can earn Sonny’s love and Carly’s ire
Mobsters are heroes, no need to deny
Better than dumb cops, doctors, and spies
He’s gonna go free after all
He’s gonna go free after all
This...is frakking hilarious! Love it!
Posted by: Amy | August 16, 2007 at 05:28 PM
In a word - FABOULOUS! The best part is, this is how the showrunners actually view Jason - as the male version of (at the time) America's "sweetheart".
However, I've noticed that I rarely say anything positive about GH so I thought I would try to find at least one good thing per episode instead of focusing on how good this show COULD be. That being said, the look on Sam's face when Jason and Liz were hugging reminded me of your July 2, 2007, (Out of the Mouths of Babes) column and Cam's "are you FREAKING KIDDING me" face. The look in Sam's eyes was almost a carbon copy of Cam's when he saw St. Jason at the door with the Holy Spawn.
Posted by: Beltane | August 16, 2007 at 06:08 PM
::::standing ovation:::: Brava! Brava! Bravissima!
I will be singing this under my breath for the rest of the night!
Posted by: Michaela | August 16, 2007 at 06:48 PM
That's great!
I can just see Jason spinning around in joy at the end, while tossing someone's dead body into the air.
Posted by: Becky | August 16, 2007 at 08:25 PM
Bravo, ladies. Bravo.
Posted by: TV's Tim | August 17, 2007 at 12:23 AM
Yikes, Beltane, don't even use Cameron and Sam in the same sentence. I'm already afeared of when (not if) she finds it expedient to let someone nab Cam to in her latest revenge plot.
Becky, the vision of Jason spinning and tossing someone's dead body into the air is the PERFECT coda to the song! (Oh, and nicely done Becca. Truly inspired!)
Posted by: Kazou | August 17, 2007 at 12:47 AM
It's the new GH theme song! I hope they pay you well for it, it's perfect. I can hardly wait to see Jason skipping around PC juggling Jake and his gun while also tossing coffee beans in the air, wink wink. Best most realistic soap opener ever. No silly cast or character shots needed. Jason's new hair can blow in the wind off the harbor where he illegally imports weapons, goods, dirty laundered blood money, prostitutes, and illegal aliens. But not drugs, because THEY ALONE are bad.
Posted by: Sarah | August 17, 2007 at 02:16 AM
Sarah, I think they have taken a noble, heroic stand against prostitution, too. Because Sonny, who used to own a strip club and give underage girls drugs and then manipulate aforementioned drugged up girls into bed by convincing them that the molestation they suffered as children was their fault, must have somehow learned along the way that drugs and sexual exploitation are bad. Guns, extortion and paying a cyborg to kill his competition? TOTALLY okay.
Posted by: Michaela | August 17, 2007 at 12:37 PM
Michaela thank you for reminding me about Karen and the girls. A truly delightful moment in GH history. <> Oy, this evil show.
Sonny is such a monster!! If the childhood sexual abuse and molestation Karen suffered and survived was her fault.....Then Deke beating Sonny and locking him in the closet for hours at a time was Sonny Jr.'s fault right?
Karen got educated, married, and became a doctor and served her community with honor until her untimely death, by vampire? I never saw PC, sorry. Sonny became a bipolar, clautrophobic, mommy loving, lying, manipulative, murdering, stealing, betraying, cheating, adulterous, vindictive, bitter, moody, kidnapping, torturing, slimy, hypocritical mobster.
Sonny blames Karen for being molested as a child.
Carly tells her sons that Jason and Sonny are soldiers.
Jason thinks he is honest.
Is there peyote in the PC water system?
Posted by: Sarah | August 17, 2007 at 01:43 PM
Sheer and utter genius! I bow before your greatness.
Posted by: Kelly | August 18, 2007 at 01:17 AM
Beutiful, just beutiful.
And it reminds me why I turned GH off.
Posted by: Terrible Towel | August 18, 2007 at 07:25 AM
You are a total genius! Jason Morgan is the new mary Tyler Moore!
Posted by: kellsbells | August 19, 2007 at 10:07 AM