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« Dear Abby, I'm a Hitman in a Pickle | Main | An Inside Look »

September 26, 2007

Best Comment Ever

All of you who read Serial Drama regularly and comment, telling us you agree with our opinions and think we're funny, or disagreeing and providing a reasoned and witty counterpoint, we really do appreciate you.  But I'm sure you'll forgive me when I say that this comment I received last week is the best in the history of the site.

i think you people writing are the most scathing speaking people i have ever run into! yes, i think any soap goes thru lulls in thier story lines but dont freaking watch them if you are so diggusted! im sitting here nauseated reading the mean things you have said about every single person on day time!!!!!!!!!! if you had any talent you would be in L.A doing some form of acting on a soap . i think you are troubled pepole that have to completly trash other people to survive !i will not ever read anything on this site again. my hats off to all of teh cast on general hospital ! katie f

This brilliant polemic really has to be examined more closely.  Remember those sentence diagrams we had to do back in grade school?  I would love to have the use of those for this purpose, but alas, technology limits me. 

i think you people writing are the most scathing speaking people i have ever run into!

It's evidence of my true nature that I'm kind of proud of this "most scathing speaking" distinction.  And I realize that by putting this comment on blast I am in fact upping the scathing factor to a new level.  Does that bother me?  Not really.  There is also the possibility that "you people writing" applies not just to me and Mallory, but to our commenters as well.  So share the love, dear readers!  Embrace your scathing-speaking-ness.

im sitting here nauseated reading the mean things you have said about every single person on day time!!!!!!!!!!

This cracks me up because the comment is to this [two-month-old] General Hospital post, which is 1) about one week of one soap, and 2) arguably the most positive one I've ever done about GH.  I mean, for god's sake, I even said Sonny and Jason weren't really bugging me, and Maurice Benard was a little bit hot!  And I didn't insult a single performance!  What do you want, blood?! 

if you had any talent you would be in L.A doing some form of acting on a soap .

Well, sure, L.A. is where every talented person in the world lives and works, and acting on a soap is universally recognized as the peak of human existence.  But unfortunately, my humpback, lazy eye, marginal literacy, and fear of sunshine keep me chained to a professional career in the east. 

By the way, I love "some form of acting."  Is that what the guy who plays Jett on Days does?

i will not ever read anything on this site again.  my hats off to all of teh cast on general hospital !

We're always sad to lose a reader, particularly one of such insight and wit.  My troubled, no-talent self will try to get over it while I ponder the wrongness of my scathing-speaking ways.

Farewell, katie f and your many hats.  Farewell.


Oy Katie, you're not a member of a Nielson family are you? :-(

I'm proud to be a scathing speaking person!!!

From you katie f, that is a HUGE compliment.

We need to make up some t-shirts. If you two ringleaders send me your shirt sizes and color preferences I'd be honored to send you off a custom top. Here are a few suggestions...

ex. "some kind of acting" = sucky soaps

ex. wear a bra-inspire Carly

ex. Scathing Speech Pays, but I'd Do It For Free

ex. Mumbles and St. Jasus meet Tony Soprano...(on back of shirt) MISSING: two coffee importers from PC

ex. RuRu Sucks

ex. clean your plate, remember daytime actresses are starving

ex. if you can't do it "hotly"-don't bother-that means you JT/PD

ex. Beware of Spinelli-It won't Bite-But it Will Speak

Just a few possibilities. E-mail me your preferences and I'll send you two fine women a token for all your good work on behalf of myself and all the disgruntled soap fans.

Serial Drama Saves!!!! that's a good one :-)

Gosh, I've been viewing this blog all wrong. I've been seeing humor, wit, and great writing, when I really should have been seeing no-talent hacks who obviously suck because they don't "act" on a soap. Silly me.

Yet I seem to be unable to change my ignorant ways. What is wrong with me? Why can't I see that a hitman is a god and that the mob is good?

I just don't know. I guess I'm just doomed. Oh, well.

Oh, and as for "What do you want, blood?!" Well, yes. Isn't that what this blog is for? ;)

That was a thoughtful and witty comment, katy. All this time I thought Serial Drama was a clever, sanity-saving blog. Now I know that it is written by mean girls just being mean. Thanks for opening my eyes, katy.

Wow...I thought the entries on here were in English, not "scathing." Kudos for not only brilliant satire but your bilingualism.

Diggusting...just diggusting.

*goes off to snicker some more*

I would come up with a witty reply to all this but I'm too busy laughing myself into tears. Keep up your "scathing speaking" ways, ladies! I, for one, applaud you!

*off to laugh some more*

Now, it's clear that Katie was simply trying to provide us with some little-known information about our soaps. See, Scathing is a regional dialect spoken mostly on the coast of Bolivia, and the scripts for GH (and possibly the other soaps, I don't watch them so I wouldn't know) are actually written in this language. It sounds very much like English, but if we all spoke Scathing we would see that the writing on this show does not, in fact, suck. My many hats are off to you, Katie, for providing us with this valuable insight.

I would feel much more encouraged by katie_f's comment if I, you know, *believed that she would actually go away.* But alas, "many hats" seems to be an understatement.

Or would that be "many sockpuppets"?

P.S. I am stunned to see that ATWT has embarked on a real, honest-to-goodness soapy plot: Man marries Woman in semi-whirlwind courtship. Man's Ex-Wife develops fatal illness and collapses on Man and Woman's wedding day. Man rushes to hospital during wedding reception and swears that he will not allow Ex-Wife "to go through this alone." The last shot of yesterday's episode: newlywed Man and Woman lying in marital bed, facing in opposite directions and separated by about an acre of empty space.

Classic, huh? I think I'm watching again.

Well, sure, L.A. is where every talented person in the world lives and works, and acting on a soap is universally recognized as the peak of human existence. But unfortunately, my humpback, lazy eye, marginal literacy, and fear of sunshine keep me chained to a professional career in the east.

Oh, this is great. BEST RESPONSE EVER.


and this ladies, it what it takes to be a fan of soaps these days. dear katie f is our example. we must be functionally illiterate, humorless and incapable of recognizing irony. maybe then we'd be excited about GH's latest mob war and recognize RuRu for the smart, spunky gal that she is!

Scathing-Speaking People FF!!!!!!

HEE! katie is totally right about you talentless, scathing speaking pepole. Please, keep it up!

Seriously, being a soapfan can be so embarrasing sometimes.

Proud Scathing-Speaking FF right over here!

And Maurice and Steve you don't fool me...i know you were both katie F.....don't lie to me! I know!!!! The Scathing-Speaking ALWAYS KNOWS!!!!

Poor, poor little Katie F. I'm picturing a 12 year old sitting in the Middle School Computer Lab. The instructor isn't looking, so she Googles her favorite show, hoping to find a good image of whoever the "Hot" one is on GH these days. Katie stumbles upon Serial Drama, and can't get over her shock! It really isn't her fault that she doesn't get you, though. She was home sick with mono the week they covered humor, wit, irony and sarcasm in English class.

Hehe, this is one of your funniest since the Dear Abby column. I love Sarah's shirt ideas. I think you should take her up on it.

On a side note: Are any of you wondering about Nicholas possibly being Batman (butler named Alfred?) and his recent outbreak of anger is simply because of his dual personality and wearing the rubber suit at all hours of the night? Just wondering...

Keep speaking the scathing - the only reason this is my favorite blog!


And we wonder why soaps seem to write stories leveled at people with no education or ability to think on an intellectual, nuanced plane.

"Katie f" indeed. Was that you, Jill Farren Phelps?

Oh, dear.

Does Frons have a daughter....a Katherine or Katie perhaps? A neice maybe?

He has MANY reasons to be ashamed of himself professionally. Clearly his personal/home life is also failing miserably.

Hire your kid a tutor Frons!!! In the name of all that's sane and reasonable don't sit by destroying daytime drama AND let your own child flail around in ignorance and stipidity.

It's all so very wrong and sad.

Oops, my katielike bad!

stUpidity! hahahahahaha

Just when I think I'm over it I start giggling again. Oh, katie f.

Okay, there's 1 mobster/stumpy/borg/snarly fan. Now, where the hell are the rest of them hiding and how do we get them disqualified from the ratings system?

My scathing-speakiness knows no bounds. I scathe at every opportunity. When people talk to me, I tell them "Stop. Do not bother me. I am busy scathing. Be gone." Even if they are on fire. I cannot be distracted from my scathingousity. Consider me your humpbacked, lazy-eyed, marginally literate Sister in Scathing Speakiness!

Wow, I've never seen a real "teh" written without a trace of irony.

"Pepole"?? Never heard of it. Must be Scathinavian...

That explains why business is booming in my field - tutoring. It was almost like proofreading my middle school students work, but more entertaining due to the subject matter. Next time, katie f, use a mind-map before you write. A rough draft wouldn't be a bad idea either. Or just hire an ET.

I was thinking the reason she referred to you as the most scathing speaking people is because she knows some people who are equally as scathing or more so, but don't speak (as in they are mute), I guess they wouldn't be able to write either. I don't think that really works, though.

Some people just make it so easy, don't they? :)

However, I have not a doubt that poor Katie F is indeed representative of GH's current target audience. That in and of itself makes me appreciate your scathing commentary all the more, because I sincerely doubt that I will ever again see anything so wittily written on GH.

btw, technological limits aside, is it even possible to diagram a sentence with that many run-ons?

Eh, you'll always run into people who don't like you or what you have to say...especially on the internet. I find people are unusually cruel and intensely opinionated sometimes when in real life, they probably only talk to their webkinz (if you don't know what those are, save yourself the trouble and don't ask a 10-year-old...longest conversation of my life).

Moving on...The Office is tomorrow night!!!

I ASSUME there will be a blog about its awesomeness? ;) PS target has kickass office stationary and "I heart Jim" magnets in the dollar bins! Check it out! I spent 20 bucks there today on stuff I probably don’t need...

Is Katie new to the internet??? Because this place has some of the most positive insights on soaps... ok maybe not positive, but it sure as hell is funny without being cruel!

Good luck Katie finding somewhere else to gain some insight on GH.

Oh, look, there's Guza's target audience! Seriously, you scathing-speaking pepole, offending a bastion of wit and grace like katie f-what teh hail is wrong with yu?!

Seriously, I've had 3 kids, and they were all hell on my bladder-warn a bitch before posting something like this so I don't pee on myself laughing, would you?

Apparently katie f didn't get the memo. Not only do people with talent act... they also get their own column in Magazines. All I can say is keep up the scathing comments. If we can't honest about the soaps we watch them who can?

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