Be It Resolved . . .

For the first time in its history, the House of Serial Drama Representatives deems it necessary to pass a measure to commemorate a significant, blog-altering event.  Specifically, the following resolution serves as formal notice that "hotly" has left the building.

In the House of Serial Drama Representatives

Whereas, in the past he has demonstrated a wide range of behavior done hotly, including:

hotly angsty

hotly confused

hotly skeptical

hotly goofy

hotly frustrated

hotly sympathetic

hotly blindsided

hotly diagnostic

hotly baffled

hotly happy

hotly sad

and hotly in sync

Whereas, he in fact did everything so hotly that a permanent "hotly" modifier was deemed necessary and appropriate, and used almost constantly,

Whereas, however, his behavior has recently shifted in the exact opposite direction of hotly,

Whereas, he implied that his girlfriend needed a boob job,

Whereas, he appeared naked in a shower only once during a 13-week stint on the night shift,

Whereas, he inappropriately flirted with an incompetent and poorly-coiffed student nurse while still involved in a serious relationship with Dr. Robin Scorpio,

Whereas, he was irrationally pissy about Robin bonding with a baby born to an HIV-positive mother and made no effort to understand her motivations (some of which admittedly may have been of The Crazy),

Whereas, he continues to be friends with Carly,

Whereas, he used the phrases "biological clock" and "walking hormone" as insults during an argument with his girlfriend,

Whereas, depending on the universe in which you operate, he either immediately started sleeping with his coworker he'd been flirting with for weeks after breaking up with his girlfriend, or immediately started dating that coworker after he and his girlfriend broke up,

Whereas, he used unbearably cheesy lines and then had uber-awkward sex in his workplace,

Whereas, he has spent criminally little time shirtless of late,

Whereas, he blamed his girlfriend for their breakup by saying she was unavailable and excused his own flirtation with a coworker,

Whereas, he backslid to assholish, commitment-phobic behavior faster than Lindsay Lohan strikes up an inappropriate romantic relationship,

Whereas, he has apparently lost his ability to banter,

Whereas, he has reverted to proudly saying things like "If you're looking for uncomplicated, I'm your guy,"

Whereas, despite claiming that he's totally over his breakup with Robin, he continues to meddle in her life,

BE IT RESOLVED, therefore, that Dr. Patrick Drake's "hotly" modifier is permanently revoked.

BE IT ALSO RESOLVED, however, that Jason Thompson could still hit it anytime, especially on weekends and holidays.

Resolved this 18th day of October, 2007.

Most screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.

Comments

[Beth R.]

Goodbye "Hotly" Patrick...I weep for your time under the Morgan/Corrinthos express that you are obviously at the start of (when a good non-mob character gets too popular? Sudden asshole personality changes occur to prevent the realization that mobsters should not be the romantic heros of the freaking show!)....eventually you will escape...I have faith....I've also been accused of being deulsional...but that's my issue..not yours.

[Jessica]

This resolution was inevitable. And so very needed. And yet still so very sad. Hot Patrick has left the building.

As for Jason Thompson, if you prefer him on weekends and holidays, I will resolve to take care of him the rest of the week.

[di]

rip...luv ya patrick...cant wait til u are hotly back on screen

[Nancy]

Totally agree with this resolution! He just makes me so mad I just want him to leave Robin alone. She deserves much better. You know, now that I think about it, the other day Leo (despite the awful hair) reminded me of Stone a little when he was with Robin......maybe???

[Aydee]

I've been pretty neutral on Patrick, so I'm not attached to his hotliness or lack thereof. And that neutrality (plus the fact I didn't see NS, which means in my world some of the crimes you cite never happened) leaves me with a different perspective. So although I don't think he should be interfering with Robin, I do think he's making a more sense than she is right now. She seems a little off, to put it kindly, and was completely out of line telling Carly the whole thing was none of her business. (Of course, Carly's anger at Jax after Jax turned Robin down was completely insane, but that's another matter entirely.)

Anyway, even if Patrick is no longer hotly, there is one really great thing he did today, something nobody else did, and it should be acknowledged: in the face of all that "genetic material," he used the word SPERM!

[V]

>Whereas, despite claiming that he's totally over his breakup with Robin, he continues to meddle in her romantic life,<

I have to disagree at this point, Becca, since Robin has not been having any romantic life. I think you have mistaken her baby daddy search for romance.

That is my only correction.

I do agree with Aydee on that he is the only one making any sense today on the show. Robin has (pardon the pun) flown the coop; that is, if robin's have coops. Maybe she flew the nest.

I also have not seen NS so I have nothing but GH to go on. In GH he has not fallen quite as far as he fell (according to your recaps) on NS. IMO

Anyway, Robin's lunch with Jax was out of line since he's married. And not only married - BUT, married to Carly. Why did Robin do something so dumb? I can only guess the writers are at work again.

My guess is that Leyla is the new go-to gal. SO, in order for Leyla to become supreme, similar to Liz (the holy mother) and Jason (the god) another character must be destroyed. DESTROYED

In Guza Land they believe for a less popular character to succeed another more popular character must pay by having their character decimated beyond recognition (Lucky and Sam for example).

Thus, poor Robin has been written a psycho woman on the prowl at all costs for a baby daddy.

Patrick has to be the voice of reason and Leyla has to always remain calm - similar to Stone Cold.

If they can destroy Robin - in Guza Land - then Leyla can come into the picture as a beloved character.

Her powers will grow with every chipping away at the Robin we once knew - the wonderfully sane, and cute Robin. Robin will suddenly go on a rampage of psychotic proportion, stealing babies off the street, and possibly eating pigeons in the park. There will be no end to the destruction.

It's a ploy. Hold on to the Robin and Patrick that once was or you'll be pulled into their evil plan of imaginary characters!

[smirks]

It's a sad, sad day in the world of soaps.

*sheds a melodramatic soap tear*

I will miss the hotly.

Goodbye hotly.

[JS78]

What about the dancing? You forgot to mention the dancing as in the "Dancing on the Rooftop" (set to Dancing in the Streets) scene with all the other nurses, doctors and orderlies at 6am in the morning. LOL that had to be the weirdest thing ive ever seen and that was the beginning of the end of Patricks hotness or hotly-ness.

too freakin' funny.
thanks for that.

[Me]

And Guza wrecks another one. BUT...what if Patrick pulls his head out of his ass? (Hey, it's ALMOST the holidays. Believe in miracles!)

Can we reinstate the "hotly" then? Because Patrick without "hotly", although sadly and richly deserved as of now, is like peanut butter without chocolate! (I hate jelly, so there.) Yin without yang!

Call a moratorium. But don't permanently punish the poor adverb, "hotly"!

[KellsBells]

I feel so bereft. I feel like I should re-read your revokation while listening to "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt. But you are so right Becca. All the assholish behaviour and the permanent revokation of "hotly" doesn't change that fact that I would gladly be a notch on his bedpost.

[Arianna]

It's a sad, sad day. I am playing "Taps" in my head right now. RIP, HOTLY PATRICK. We barely got a chance to know ye.

Hopefully he can earn his "hotly" back again soon. His cheesy lines, awkward sex, and rooftop dancing aren't doing him any favors. Not to mention the other hundred assy things that he has done.

It's not working, Guza...I still don't buy your precious mobsters as romantic heroes. Give me my hot doc back!

[Sarah]

Finally a political decree I can support!!!

Patrick to Leyla-"Hey, I'm dumb, clueless, and a manwhore, wanna hit it a few times then get dumped becasue I'm an obsessed stalker of my first and only love/girlfriend?"

Leyla to Patrick-"Ohhhh Paaaatrick. I don't wish to be a rebound, but OK."

I translated her marble mouthed non specific British like accent into English.

Adios HOTLY.

awww..don't permanently revoke his 'hotly' status; just put in him on probation..blame the writers..they should be permanently revoked for being inconsistant and tacky..

[Becca]

Point taken, V -- that was totally an error on my part. I deleted "romantic." I could have inserted "baby-rabies-ridden" in its place, but opted not to.

JS78, Mallory and I made a pact never to mention the dancing again. It was too traumatic.

I like both Patrick and Robin, and think the actors are fab, so I'm hoping eventually the writers get their crap together and write a reunion. But I'm not optimistic. I find it's not wise to let optimism into GH's orbit.

[Q]

all good things must come to an end it seems. and with so little good on GH, the rare loss is deeply felt. R.I.P. hotly.

Becca, i think there may be a typo:

"as, depending on the universe in which you operate, he either immediately started sleeping with his coworker he'd been flirting with for weeks AFTER breaking up with his girlfriend, or immediately started dating that coworker after he and his girlfriend broke up,"

is that supposed to be flirting 'before' breaking up w/ his girlfriend? because boy certainly and inappropriately was...

[DarylE]

Being an obnoxious buttinsky alone is cause for loosing his hotly status

[Marianne Jackson]

Thank you, ladies-I agree! And now I don't have to be Devil's Advocate for Robin, since it has now been acknowledged that Patrick did quite as much to bring them to this state as Robin did.....perhaps more. So now I can safely say that they are BOTH batshit crazy right now!

Now, I disagree that what Robin did was inappropriate-see Melissa Etheridge asking David Crosby and Tom Hanks to be sperm donors for her children, considering that both of the aforementioned are happily married men. And I see the point of wishing to take a chance and ask guys you know before settling for a complete stranger-since, in Port Charles, it's liable to be Connor's or Zacchara's....or worse, Sonny's...child. And I can also see why she might be in a hurry-she's lived over a decade with HIV, and there is a chance that her meds may stop working, or that she may, working in the medical field, contract an illness that speeds up the onset of full-blown AIDS-so there's no guarantee on how much time she would have.

HOWEVER, there are better ways to go about it than THIS, sweetie. For instance, how about calling Leo, apologizing for Patrick's, and your own, batshit crazy actions of last week, and invite him out for dinner. Then explain to him your motivations and your reasoning behind the request, and he MIGHT say yes. Or, better yet, how about giving Jagger a ring-being Stone's brother, and, therefore, uniquely acquainted both with your personal situation and with the prejudices that accompany an HIV+ person attempting to make normal life decisions, he would probably be more understanding than many of the gentlemen you're considering. Further, he now lives hundreds of miles away-so it might be easier for him to help you have a child that he wouldn't have to see, day in and day out, and know that it's his.

Regardless, though, NONE of this is Patrick's business. And to sic Carly on her-considering that he KNOWS how bigoted Carly is regarding Robin's condition-was just mean-spirited and truly deserving of the name *I* shall call him until he comes to his senses-Cracktrick, b/c he MUST be smoking it, running around town acting like this. And I hate to point this out, but he KNOWS it's going to be next to impossible for Robin to adopt given her condition-that's obviously just a tactic to stall her plans.

And I have to disagree with those who think Robin's being ruined for Leyla-someone's being ruined, alright, but it's not Robin. I, personally, am of the opinion that Guza has tried, on numerous occasions, to ruin Robin, and he can't. She is one of the last remnants of the late, great Gloria Monty's reign, and she's been played by the same actress since she was 7 years old-fans won't turn against her. But Leyla must still be propped, because...well, because....hell, I don't know because why, just because Guza says so, I guess, and he knows the fans won't turn against Robin-so he's made Patrick his target. Whereby PATRICK is the one who flirted with and pursued her-she was innocent and virginal. Whereby PATRICK lusted after her while he was with Robin-she was caught completely off-guard. Don't you all know that Leyla is the most beautifulest most wonderfulest most smartest most intriguingest most bravest most strongest little nurse that ever did stare blankly, whine, and smirk?! Poor JT, and poor us.

[Becca]

Q, the "after" refers to the dating being after the break-up, not the flirting, which was definitely going on before the break-up, as mentioned a few "whereas"s up the chain.

[Mel]

Please, lets take a moment of silence and mourn on this momentous occasion. Hotly, you will be missed, especially my personal favorites, hotly baffled and hotly happy (hell, they were all my favorites). Ladies, maybe we can just make this a temporary moratorium. Let's not be so hasty...after all, the holidays are around the corner...

[Jes]

Patrick so deserves this revocation.

And peanutbutter should never be allowed to taint chocolate.

[Titian]

i wish i could join you in mourning the "hotly" thing. but i've never found arrogant jackasses hot. the moment a man shows the conceit, he sprouts pointy, fuzzy ears, a fly-beating tail and all of his words come out as pointless braying. i wonder how patrick manages to be such a brilliant surgeon with hoof hands...

in defense of robin and the case of baby rabies she has, its perfectly understandable that she wants to be a mother. its perfectly understandable that she wants the experience of being pregnant. its completely ridiculous that she'd ask jax and then say its none of carly's business. carly's reaction was over the top as usual and patrick's interference just has me baffled. did helena cassidine have a sex change and come back to port charles as a neurosurgeon? next he'll be throwing leo off the parapet at the bacchanalia and brainwashing lucky into having a personality again.

and, totally off topic, is it me or does every new young male character have to ride the lulu love train?

[Aydee]

I don't think it's wrong to ask a married man to be a sperm donor. After all, in real life, married women serve as gestational hosts and surrogates (aka "serraguts"), and I guess sometimes these arrangements are made with friends or loved ones. But to say the decision is none of the spouse's business -- that's just nutty, and sadly added to the impression that super-smart, feet-on-the-ground Robin has really lost perspective.

[M.D.]

How can you look at those pictures and revoke it permanantly? You just need to watch GH on mute, so you don't have to listen to the dribble they call writing. But it (the writing) is really just crap.

[Beltane]

Sadly, hotly had to be revoked but I am hoping that with good behaviour (and new writers) it can be reinstated in the future. There are so few things left on this show for us to root for - the Shiny has all but left the building, the hideousity of SBu's hair, pretty but dim GV is now SO dim that it's hard to see the pretty. The only thing I have left is JE's fabulous hair - seriously, I would take a bullet to the head while giving birth if I could have hair like that.

I, also, don't believe that Robin is being ruined in order to prop up Leyla (despite Guza and Korte's very best effort). KMc is far too good of an actress to let crappy dialogue or a bad s/l ruin what she KNOWS is the internal integrity of the character so despite the BSC baby-rabies, she is still able to convey the fact that Robin has always wanted to be a mother and spent many years regretting that it would not be a possibility for her. The sparkle of who and what Robin is truly about still shines through and those of us who have watched her since she was seven years old will not abandon her. Do you HEAR that, showrunners!

I mourn the Patrick that deserved the hotly modifier. Foolishly, I continue to hope that he will (or can) be rehabilitated.

I see the direct correlation between Patrick's assholishness and Robin's bizarre behavior. As the Patrick's asshole meter rises, so does the Robin's bizarro meter. These two are inextricably tied. If only they could get the knots untangled and focus on a story that makes some sense for these two potentially great characters! The always hot Thompson and always fabulous McCullough deserve better than what they are being given!

[KLD]

I for now do whole-heartedly agree that the hotly modifier needs to be revoked. It makes me most sad & frustrated.

I shall be praying to the soap goddesses that the hotly be returned in the near future.

[Lori]

Oh, how I loved the days when Patrick Drake did everything hotly. I will be counting the days until it is returned. Now Jason Thompson will NEVER lose that hotly modifier in my book. That man's presence screams HOTLY to me.

[V]

>>Point taken, V -- that was totally an error on my part. I deleted "romantic." I could have inserted "baby-rabies-ridden" in its place, but opted not to.<<

Thank you Becca. The "baby-rabies-ridden" might have been a sweet addition, but I am sure you had your reasons.

I want to add that I love all those pics you placed of ex-hotly.

[Michaela]

:::sob::: Farewell, hotly. You will be missed.