First Anniversary Self-Indulgence: Google Is Love
Technology affords us the awesome ability to see what search engine searches lead poor unsuspecting internet surfers to our little corner of the world. We keep some of the results, because they are so entertaining on a number of levels (not because we don't have lives, okay?). Some are hilariously random, others are hysterical because someone actually thought the internet could answer the question (and only responds to full sentences), some are bizarre because they directed people here, and some are awesomely insightful into people's thoughts on the shows we love to mock. We thought we'd take the occasion of our first anniversary as an excuse to share with you how some of your fellow readers found us. We give you: Our favorite Google searches.
- how many times has susan lucci had facial surgery on her face?
- is liz pregnant with jason's baby (general hospital)
- don diamont's hair never moves
- hunter tylo looks like a freak
- do guza hate women
- IS KELLY MONACO DOING OKAY WITH THE NEW STORYLINE ON GENERAL HOSPITAL
- in general hospial night shift who is putting all the bad things in peoples things
- gh nightshift makes no sense
- what do sonny and jason do
- amber trashing up show young and restless
- where did steve burton's neck go
- why was charity rahmer replaced
- shouldn't jerry know carly
- jason morgan/ spinelli slash
- why are they writing such a crappy storyline on gh for sam and jason?
- jason cook's home address days of our lives
- is jason morgan really a murderer
- the young and the restless writers is stupid
- can i see rick and sam having sex on general hospital
- i don't understand general hospital night shift
- gh steve burton did he double in size?
- night shift is a really bad show
The truly random:
- husband wears pantyhose during sex why
- some one's being a full-on diva skank
- gauchos and dress code policy in hospital setting
- soap stealing robot that ruined our lives
- drugging your boss
- are you a fugly skank?
- leggings parking tickets women prison
If you're curious about the most popular searches, they are some variation on the following (in no particular order)
- are Jason Thompson and Kimberly McCullough dating in real life
- Laura Wright's hair
- Megan Ward's hair
- Carly on GH's wardrobe [Sob! - Eds.]
- Hunter Tylo plastic surgery
- Serial Drama/Serial Drama blog/Serial Drama soaps funny
Search engines are responsible for a huge portion of our traffic, so we should love them for that reason, but even if they never sent us a single returning reader we'd love them forever for the entertainment the searches alone provide us.
Really, I'm far more interested to know how many times Susan Lucci has had facial surgery on other parts of her body...
Those searches are hilarious for so many reasons....I think you should spend a post addressing each of them in kind, for all of the people who stumble upon this blog by using those searches.
Posted by: smirks | October 01, 2007 at 11:55 PM
"jason morgan/ spinelli slash"
No. No, no, no. Does it actually exist? No, don't answer that. Just... no. Bad.
Those (other) search terms are great. I mean, "soap stealing robot that ruined our lives" -- how many times have I dealt with that issue myself? It's so good to know I'm not alone. ;)
Posted by: Celine | October 02, 2007 at 12:34 AM
Oh, funny! I love "in general hospial night shift who is putting all the bad things in peoples things". I've never watched Night Shift so I can only imagine what sort of bad things are going into people's things.
"soap stealing robot that ruined our lives" is awesome.
Posted by: Elisabeth | October 02, 2007 at 12:44 AM
It is truly bizzare what some people search for and where it gets them. I have to concur with the searches for Laura Wright's hair and Megan Ward's hair being the most popular, though the most prominent search term for my site, and my all time favourite, is "Is Alan Quartermaine dead?"
What is the hospital's gauchos dress code policy?
Posted by: zarathelawyer | October 02, 2007 at 01:17 AM
"soap stealing robot that ruined our lives"
I assume this is Jason "The Borg" Morgan, right? He has stolen GH, after all...
Posted by: Michaela | October 02, 2007 at 08:32 AM
I'm sorry, but some of those are reasonable questions. Where the hell is Steve Burton's neck??????? Seriously? Did he bulk up like that to support the weight of the Farrah Fawcett locks and the months of excess gel? The wardrobe department had to go to the expense of buying him three new t-shirts to accomodate that neck. Now it'll be four more months before wardrobe can buy Carly a bra! Budgets suck.
Posted by: Sarah | October 02, 2007 at 11:58 AM
"husband wears pantyhose during sex why"
"drugging your boss"
"leggings parking tickets women prison"
I'm sort of terrified by these!
Posted by: Becky | October 02, 2007 at 03:50 PM
"Where did Jason Burton's neck go" is my favorite new phrase. I may have to have a t-shirt or something made with it.
Posted by: True | October 02, 2007 at 04:43 PM
Hee, that and "gh steve burton did he double in size?" crack me up especially.
smirks, when I first emailed Mal that Susan Lucci one she replied back: "As opposed to all that facial surgery one has on one's torso?"
celine, I don't know whether it exists, but I am horrified that if it does, Google thought someone could find it HERE.
The simplicity of the recent "night shift is a really bad show" is kind of beautiful. I like to think someone did that search, landed here, and was like, OMG, MY PEOPLE!!!
Posted by: Becca | October 02, 2007 at 05:01 PM
Cool! I consider it a badge of honor! I have finally mastered scathing-speaking just like Mal!
Posted by: smirks | October 02, 2007 at 06:21 PM
"husband wears pantyhose during sex why"
How the hell did that lead someone here?!?! Too funny.
Posted by: Aydee | October 02, 2007 at 07:44 PM
I admit it.
It was me that found "Serial Drama" when I googled "Jason/Spinelli Slash."
I'm thinking of starting my own blog of just fanfic for them - NC-17 of course.
Posted by: marian | October 02, 2007 at 08:48 PM
Jason/Spinelli slash? I think I just threw up.....
Posted by: Beth R. | October 02, 2007 at 10:35 PM
"soap stealing robot ruined our lives" and "some one's being a full-on diva skank"-Okay, it's quite clear why those searches led here-duh, ladies! The first one is totally about Jason Morgan and Leyla, and the second one is about Liz, Carly, Leyla, Sam at times, Epiphany at times, etc., etc.!
The others...um, they just scare the shit out of me, so I won't go there.
Posted by: Marianne Jackson | October 03, 2007 at 01:19 PM
I just love your snark!
Posted by: DarylE | October 03, 2007 at 02:02 PM
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5879366/1/Defenseless
My so-called friend sent me a link to this today and I thought of this post.
My poor, poor brain! I didn't think anything could make Spinelli worse...
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