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« Days of Our Lives Week in Review | Main | Tragikstan! »

October 14, 2007

General Hospital Week in Review

If it weren't for the one good thing that happened this week, you would have been subjected to an approximately three-paragraphs long rant about how just when I think this show can't get any more boring and creatively bankrupt, it finds new ways to slow down and be even more derivative.  But this week, exactly one truly good thing happened on General Hospital:  Luke came back to town!  Tony Geary's semi-annual extended vacay is over -- let us rejoice and try to forget that virtually every other aspect of this show is in the crapper.



Luke and Tracy scenes!


Luke and Scott scenes!


. . . including Luke punching Scott!


Luke yelling at Nikolas!


(Actually, as much as I like Luke, bitching to Nikolas that Nik didn't do enough to keep Lulu away from Logan when 1) Lulu is an adult, and 2) Luke's parental ass was out of town for about 16 months, was pretty ridiculous.   But whatever:  Luke!)

Luke heading to Logan's to tell him what-for!


And Lulu realizing her dad is back in town!


Plus hilarious Tracy and Scotty scenes!



Okay, that last one had nothing to do with Luke, but it's the only other thing I liked this week, so I thought I might as well attribute it to him. 

If they really are considered another season of Night Shift (someday, I'll be able to type that phrase without convulsing), I am putting in my request that 95% of it be Luke, Tracy, and Scott.  Throw in Laura and you've got the best quadrangle this show has had probably ever.  They would be out of place in the Night Shift Alternative Universe Except Not, though, because I'm reasonably certain none of them would leave a woman in labor alone in an elevator, kidnap a baby, become a sex addict, or, you know, kill strangers for money.  Or if they did any of those things, they'd make them funny.


Was I supposed to think it was noble that Kate turned down Sonny's offer to give her the money to start a new magazine?  Because I didn't.  You don't get to sleep with a mobster, spend time at his house, eat his food, and accept his gifts but then turn around and take the high road.  I would rant about this some more, but Sonny made a great Nancy Drew reference early in the week, so I feel obligated to move along.

Oh, also, random side note based on their scenes this week:  I have decided I want Kate and Jax to get together.  Which means it will never happen, but a girl has to have something to think about while she fast-forwards.



Mike to Lulu: I know that you have a lot going on, but you're sending out a lot of mixed signals here.  Not that I mind seeing Logan suffer, but if you're really serious about moving on, you should probably stop staring at the guy.

Here's a sentence I rarely have use for:  Well done, father of Sonny and Courtney!

I am totally confused, though, by how they wrote this deal between Lulu and Scott.  She immediately told Logan that the only reason she's taking him back is because she told Scott she would, in exchange for his turning guardianship of Laura back to Nikolas (when Scott never should have had it in the first f'ing place, not that I'm still stuck on that).  Where is the soapiness in that?  Shouldn't she have kept that from him -- in fact, shouldn't Scott have made that part of the deal -- so that there was another secret between them that would ultimately have to come to light, and so that she'd have an internal struggle about how she felt and what she told Logan?  Basically, is there any single aspect of this potentially great pairing that these idiot writers are actually going to get right? 

Don't answer that.  I don't need another reason to drink.


Just so I'm clear, people can spy on you through your cell phone's camera? 


And crappy cell-phone images of a married couple having sex -- with each other! -- are blackmail material?


And are turned over by the blackmailer to a TV show called Everyday Heroes

What the hell?! 


Oh, "yippee," the story of Cody and Lainey has metastasized from Night Shift to regular GH.



It's a classic story of boy meets girl, boy attempts violent crime against girl, boy intimidates girl into giving him drugs, girl agrees to have coffee with boy despite his threatened physical violence and PTSD, boy meets and bonds with girl's sick father, boy helps hitman/janitor rough up some thugs in hospital, girl opens up to boy about girl's sick father, evil hospital administrator tries to kick girl's sick father out on the street, inexplicably assholish formerly hot doctor performs secret surgery on girl's father, girl's father's condition worsens, girl agonizes over father on life support, boy kills girl's sick father. 

This show is so, so fucked up.


I'm still not wild about the cut, but Natalia Livingston's hair color is much better this week.


Though I just noticed that her posture could be better


Substance-wise, I'm oddly optimistic about the ball at Wyndemere that Nikolas and Emily are planning.  I love a big event with fancy clothes and cast integration, and since the Nurses' Ball disappeared, Port Charles has been mostly gala-free.  Somehow I think not everything will go as planned at this particular gathering, though.  It helps that I have watched a soap opera before.


Beyond just "why is she?," I have questions about Leyla. 

Why does she tease her hair, particularly in casual settings?


Who DOES that?

Why is she wearing a prom dress to dinner, and why  is she bringing a very large burrito to a nice restaurant?


How is it possible to make flirting with Patrick seem like a chore?


And how long do I have to sit through this before the writers either put Robin and Patrick back together, or put Patrick with someone with whom Jason Thompson actually has chemistry?


So not only did the Night Shift infestation continue, but in yet another example of how totally out of touch the showrunners are with viewers, they've brought on yet another Night Shift-associated character, Nadine (sister of Jolene, serial killer/Spinelli de-flowerer), as if what's really missing from GH is poorly-written supporting characters with virtually no ties to the canvas.


The character annoyed me within .5 seconds, and I'm sorry, the actress is terrible.  I've seen vinyl "Coach" handbags being sold out of a suitcase on the street in New York City that are more authentic and convincing.


I still can't bring myself to go into the substance of this list in any more depth, but


at some point, can we discuss why Robin has the penmanship of a six-year-old?


Hey, you know what's better than having to fasten a ponytail as you tend to a critically ill patient?


And better than going to a high-end bar sporting the style from my sixth grade school photo?



Leo is one of the only characters I was glad to see move over from Night Shift, and Dominic Rains could be smokin' hot, but I absolutely cannot take seriously a guy whose grooming routine includes Goody products.

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.


I refused to watch this ish this week, though I admit to downloading the clips of Luke! His return was absolutely without question the only remotely good thing this week.

I won't go into anything Scrubs related because it will only send me into a blind rage. For the love of all that is holy and pure, give Patrick back his hotness!!!

I'm totally with you on the fantastically dreamy couple of Kate & Jax. If only...

I have a friend with a huge crush on D.R. I'm ok with that normally but after having seen his hair in that last cap...I may have to stage an intervention.


Can we add that screenshot of Tracy's face as Luke kissed her to the expression hall of fame please? Because it rocks muchly.

What I find creepier than Cody and Lainey? They have fans. A bunch of them.

"So not only did the Night Shift infestation continue, but in yet another example of how totally out of touch the showrunners are with viewers, they've brought on yet another Night Shift-associated character, Nadine (sister of Jolene, serial killer/Spinelli de-flowerer), as if what's really missing from GH is poorly-written supporting characters with virtually no ties to the canvas."


at some point, can we discuss why Robin has the penmanship of a six-year-old?

Hey, to be fair, you've seen how many doctors write, right?

I guess we should also be glad that they're using veteran characters in an actual storyline, rather than as just comic relief. Speaking of which, did the writers ever give a good reason why Lulu has apparently forgotten the whole "Scott killed Rick Webber" thing? God knows I'd be much more interested in that being the big fall storyline rather than Mob War VIII or the big murder mystery revolving around a tertiary-at-best character.

Metastasized? Best use of a word ever!!!

NS is a cancer and now it is spreading into GH. I freakin' love your explanation of this horror of a soap(s). Any chance Frons Guza and the gang will all get chemo'd and die like all cancers should? They can go produce reality TV shows....

12 lucky greasy haired men and braless women compete for the chance to join the mob...The Criminal Race? I want to be a Real Soprano? Survivor North Jersey? American Mobster? So you Think You Can be a Mob Moll?

And DR hair is sad, very sad. But I stopped FF when I saw a medical miracle. On GH of all places! He had the good sense and hygeine to tie it back before leaning in and treating a patient. YIPEEE!!! I gag when Liz, Leyla, Emily, and sometimes Robin let their hair drop into bloody gaping wounds etc..... It's disgusting and unprofessional. Robin goes for some adorable and sexy ponytails and I applaud each one. Emily however has had her hair in every paient. ICK!!!! So if sexy Leo won't cut the hair at least he ties it back when he works.

On GH it's the tiny things that matter. Otherwise watching this show would kill me.....LUKE is home and that kiss w/ Spanky Buns made my week. He and Tracy are gold. He Tracy and Alan are platinum.


What is the sixth name on Robin's babby daddy wish list (after Jax)? Chlove? Enlove? I can't even make that seem like a male character I even vaguely remember.

Chluke? Chlogan? Chooper? Chalan Chuartermain? Cha J?

I believe the name is Eli Love.

(I don't actually watch GH. I read it on Serial Drama).

"...but I absolutely cannot take seriously a guy whose grooming routine includes Goody products."

*spitting Diet Pepsi out nose and across keyboard*

Bless you for that, Becca. Just...bless you.

And I'm excited for Nik and Em's ball, too! Break out the ball gowns and loosen the parapets, Wyndemere's gonna have a ball!

It is a sad day in GH when Jason Thompson loses his hotness. The writers are so talented that they managed to do it in just a week. I can only hope that the writers have a plan to restore Patrick's hotness soon because I never thought he would become fast forward material.

NL has always had the most horrible posture. I want to reach through the screen and physically straighten her up. It detracts from how pretty she is and adds to why her character an insipid waste of space.

Although the list is asinine, the idea of Robin having Jax's baby is a story I could get behind, but only if they routinely show Carly's head exploding. Seriously, I would pay GOOD money for that. And if part of it took out Sonny, all the better.

NS with just Luke,Laura, Scott, & Tracy...oh, to dream.

i miss the nurse's ball so much. it was a good way to get the whole cast together and at the same time give GH a little social conscience. but, i suppose since the friggin' mob has taken over PC, social conscience is down the toilet along with humor, fun, romance, thoughtful storytelling, etc. etc. the bacchanalia should be interesting, though. i wonder how many times the writers will remind us what a parapet is?

Actually, Robin's penmanship makes sense, when you consider the conversation. Robin: Andy's cute! Kelly: I called him! Robin: Okay, I call. . . Spinelli! Both girls: Ewwww!!! [mad giggles]. The only thing missing from that list is flowers dotting the i's.

Listen, you know how sometimes something bad can be a blessing in disguise? Many people have no idea who these NS people are or what they're talking about, but look at the bright side: they've given us a slight reprieve from mob domination.

Nadja, you may get your wish. go take a gander at the GH spoilers.

oh and since i bothered to post again, what's with leyla's head? she's got a dome haircut over a triangle shaped head. i think that's a bigger emergency that NL highlights.

"This show is so, so fucked up."

That covers it all.

Robin is FF material for me now. Let's be honest, half of the 'candidates' on her grade school "who I want to be the father of my child" list should be banned solely on the basis of bad hair. Patrick doesn't bother me and I still think he's hot. He hasn't done anything wrong except choosing to spend time with the most boring female character on the show.

The ONLY scenes that made me smile last week were the ones that included Luke, Tracy & Scott. Screw the rest of the show.

All I could think during the Leo/Robin scenes (beyond how stupid they were) was how hot Leo looked if I only looked at his face and not his hair. Wow, someone I actually WANT to visit the GH hair butcher.

I can't get excited about Luke. The only parts of his scenes I can bear to watch are those moments when someone is yelling at him for having the unmitigated gall to confront people about allowing Lulu to see Logan.

1. He's, at best, an absentee father.

2. I will always take Scott's side in any confrontation with Luke, because Luke RAPED HIS WIFE.

Jason Thompson hasn't lost his hotness. He's hotter than ever in my opinion.

I like Leyla aswell. She isn't Scrubs issue and never was.

I skipped Jason Thompson scenes last week...I've NEVER skipped Jason Thompson scenes since I started watching again well over a year ago. Its a sad week.

He has definitely lost his hotness...well its kinda weird cause he DID look smoking in his scene where he confronted Robin and Leo. Funny how that happened.

This show has been beyond boring the last two weeks.

I didn't even catch Friday's show.

The Scrubs breakup is rediculus.Hate Leyla.

And I miss Liason. Please more than one scene a month!

QUOTE: "I skipped Jason Thompson scenes last week...I've NEVER skipped Jason Thompson scenes since I started watching again well over a year ago. Its a sad week.

He has definitely lost his hotness...well its kinda weird cause he DID look smoking in his scene where he confronted Robin and Leo. Funny how that happened." END QUOTE

Oh Here Here!!!!!!
I did and felt the EXACT same way - such a waste...

I find Leyla to be extremely funny looking. I think it's her nose, coupled with giant hair and a tiny face. She just looks weird.

Otherwise, add me to the list of people who ff'd the entire week except all scenes containing Luke, Tracy and/or Scotty. Luke and Tracy are BY FAR my favorite GH couple.

I could enjoy Luke's return much better if TSMRMS would allow him to remember that he has a SON who kinda needs him right now, sort had some life altering news dropped on him and is going through some stuff right now...and one of the reasons he needs his father is said screeching Mini Carly's actions.

But other than that...welcome home Luke! Now go knock some sense into your family would you? Or at least tell us where Mop Laura is so she can bop some of these imposter children on the head for me. Thanks...greatly appreciated. =)

Abusing the potential of Lulu and Logan is a damn shame especially since, besides Scrubs, they were the one chance the show had to do something right in the romance department in the past few years.

*sigh* GH.

At least I'm still getting great Scott and Luke scenes out of it.

Beth! Your name for TPTB is what I call them too...well almost. I call them TSMFRMS but still...I just about fell over. Great minds. GREAT minds.

well smirks that's cause I completley stole from you my friend....i just typed too fast and missed the F.....for they truly are TSMFRMS! but great minds indeed...great minds indeed!

I'm not surprised if people like Cody and Lainey. Both characters are played by people who can act (rare on GH), have chemistry (endangered species), and at least one of them is black (extinct). Kent Masters King is a wonderful actress and has been neglected for too long.

Have you ever noticed that the shrieker who plays Lulu has chemistry with NO ONE? I wish they could do a groundbreaking story with daytime's first asexual character.

Patrick didn't lose his hotness...Give Robin back to him and you see how fast it comes back....They just need to be together...

Jason Thompson is hot. Patrick retains his hotness with or without Robin. I prefer him with Robin rather than without her. Dude is hot regardless, though.

I'm starting to skip Robin scenes, not Patrick scenes. I need them back together if I am going to watch both of them.

Cody and Lainey confuse me. I did not watch the crapfest that was Night Shift.

This makes me so sad-I'm disagreeing with you guys again! Ah, well...anyway, I agree with the majority of the people here who are ff Patrick scenes and who believe he's lost his hotness. I actually thought the Robin scenes were really cute this week-what a welcome change: Robin getting recognized as a hot chick! Robin getting compliments from 2 guys who are not Patrick-and those compliments did not consist of "Yeah, you're cute, but LEYLA! WOW!"! Robin not acting as Patrick's freaking assistant instead of a doctor in her own right (I nearly passed out at that one)! Robin FINALLY getting to call Patrick on the mentally abusive, arrogant, clueless ass he is! WOO-HOO! And I could care less, unless they do some MAJOR redemption on Patrick, if Robin is ever put back with his sorry ass-but Leo and Robin? Cute, chemistry-laden, funny-yeah, I could get behind that!

Hi minirth, I agree with you. I love Luke's acting and his relationship with Tracy but I can't standthat Laura somehow forgave the rape. I wish they had just left that storyline buried and never brought it up again. They should have forgotten it the way they forget about everything in soaps: murders, medical evidence that says you can't have kids until of course you can etc...

I love the WIR, but I don't know if I can wait a whole week to hear comments on the insanity of Max and Diane almost hooking up. Ewwww.

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