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« Days: Now With 30% Less Cringing | Main | Be It Resolved . . . »

October 16, 2007

Shear Horror

There's a lot to say about AMC lately, like how I don't understand a lot of it. Is there a point to Hannah? Why is Richie so awesome? How am I supposed to enjoy the foxiness of Aidan when he's all chummy with Ryan (and the whole lynching thing)? Why did the world think it was fair to give Alicia Minshew so much pretty, leaving the rest of us to duke it out over scraps of middling attractiveness?

And I'll get to that, but first I have to ask: Double You Tee Eff, Jacob Young? What the hell is that oily, feathered monstrosity you call a hairdo and why on earth hasn't someone forcibly held you down to get rid of it?

You might say that we at Serial Drama are obsessed with hair and, perhaps, take bad hairstyles a little too seriously. And to that we reply, yes, we are obsessed with hair and there is no such thing as taking bad hairstyles a little too seriously, because they are so very bad that they actually interfere with the viewing process!

Like, during All My Children today, I couldn't even pay attention to the complexities of the Zach/JR plot to bring Greenlee down. I have no idea what the plot even is. If you were to tell me "So then JR is going to dress up like Henry VIII and pelt Greenlee with vegetables while Zach tap dances menacingly", I'd think it was unconventional, but I'd probably believe you.

Because all I can see when JR is onscreen is his horrible, horrible hair.

From the side, I can't even tell who Zach is talking to. My first assumption was that Dixie was back from the dead and they were brunching together.


And I hoped she had learned her lesson and was staying away from pancakes! But then the camera angle shifted and I realized that it was JR.


If that doesn't send a deep shudder of revulsion down your spine, you're a cyborg who hasn't had a fashion sense chip implanted.

Seriously, though, I'm having a hard time with the Slater revenge schemes. For starters, I have no idea what Kendall's scheme is and since she's taken a long sabbatical from being a lunatic, I don't have faith that it will be a good one. She said she loved Babe, for heaven's sake, I think her plotting skills are obviously going to be a little rusty. And Zach's plan is horrific, not least because the idea of Greenlee/Ryan babies still terrifies me (despite the scary hair, JR did have a hilarious line with "You mean there could be Ryan and Greenlee babies running around all over the place?"It wasn't so much the line itself as it was the disgusted out way Jacob Young said it) I understand that revenge schemes are supposed to be horrific and that Greenlee obviously deserves Kendall and Zach's hatred, but, I don't know...I think that the writers have decided that Greenlee is going to be fully redeemed, so these plots are going to be fruitless and, in all likelihood, will just make Zach and Kendall look evil and make Greenlee the wronged party. Which is, of course, fucked up, but it is AMC, where very little makes sense.


Really, Aidan? Really? All of a sudden we're just going to assume that Richie was always evil and evilly drowned his friend when they were teenagers because he wanted the friend's Mickey Mantle rookie card?

1. I am pretty sure that exact plot was lifted from one of the Law and Order shows. Actually, I think I just combined the episode where a gymnast killed another gymnast because she was jealous of presents she was getting from her sugar daddy with the episode where a group of girls, spurred on by their teenage Manson friend, drowned a group of boys for using them at sex parties, but whatever, that motive would so be used on one of the Law and Order shows!

2. The only reason anyone thinks poorly of Richie is because Annie said so (and also the lying about who he really is, which, of course, does earn him a demerit). And sorry, but I have a hard time taking the word of someone so bland and robotic.

3. I would expect someone with Richie's cunning, kickassedness to murder people for better reasons. Mickey Mantle rookie card? Weak. I know they're valuable, but that's lame.

4. If Richie did kill his friend...so what? Jonathan killed a bunch of people, including EDMUND (!!!), poisoned Greenlee, kidnapped Greenlee, Kendall and Lily, pretended to be mentally challenged to stay married to an autistic teenager, etc. One tiny little homicide is nothing compared to that! I find it exceedingly wrong that Annie keeps apologizing for having a crazy brother and Ryan just sits back and lets her say she's sorry all the while doing nothing about the menace to society that they call Jonathan.

But, hey, if Richie's going to be evil, I do hope they continue to go all out with him. Because, as I think I have mentioned, he's kickass.

And he made the credits!




So, Amanda Baker as Babe...

Aside from the fact that her picture for the opening credits was obviously taken at Glamour Shots


...I don't hate her! I mean, I don't like her, but in a week's worth of episodes she's managed to piss me off less than Alexa Havins and also be less annoying than she was on Night Shift. Well played, Amanda.

For some reason, I've having less trouble buying the whole "Babe is sweetness and light and LOVE" with her in the role. I think it's because Alexa Havins just radiates smug bitchiness and Amanda Baker has a pretty sweet, if vacant looking, face. I'll never like Babe, but I'm not retching at the very sight of her, which is an improvement.


You know I had this theory that much of the hair on GH sucks these days because no one is allowed to look good since Jason's hair is looking like the final resting place of Alcazar more and more every single day...but I had no idea the plan to keep all men with connections to GH down extended to those who escaped Guza's clutches....

Dear GOD what C-list boy band did he escape from?????????

THAT is Jacob Young now?! Never have I been more grateful for Greg Vaughn playing Lucky.

If that doesn't send a deep shudder of revulsion down your spine, you're a cyborg who hasn't had a fashion sense chip implanted.

You missed a perfect opportunity to link to a picture of Jason Morgan here. Just sayin' is all...

Maybe Jacob Young, Steve Burton, and Josh Morrow are secretly putting together a pilot for the all male cast version of Charlie's Angels? Unfortunately, the pilot takes place in a giant pit of lard...

Amen Becca Amen.....Thank you God for Greg...who at least right now possesses the good sense NOT to grow his hair that long....again. (I'm well aware he had it that long in the past but he's cut it and it never reached THAT particular follucular hell stage again.)

Just on a side note. I don't like this Babe. She always has that faraway look in her eye like she is adding 2+2 and is puzzled that it doesn't come out the same everytime. I liked Alexa and besides I thought she had awesome hair and a normal size smile (unlike Amanda "Hot Lips Houlihan" Baker). But I digress...

Richie has to be bad because he doesn't have a redeeming and holy tumor. Crazy JonJon didn't want to kill Edmund or drive Original Recipe Greenlee crazy. His tumor made him do it. He didn't want to kidnap O.R. Greens, Kendall or Lily. The tumor whispered in his ear and said "Take the pretty girls to a dirty cave..." Richie didn't have the living shit beat out of him by his alcoholic Lavery dad. Don't you know the equation? Abuse + tumor = redemption. Richie doesn't have a tumor but maybe a goiter could help further his redemption and vanillafication... Just a thought.

For awhile JR had David Cassidy hair. Now it just looks like part of Ava's extensions that didn't get dyed baby shit brown...

To me Richie killing a friend over a rookie card is reminiscent of Smeagol/Gollum killing Deagol over the one ring in "Return of the King".
Maybe Richie just has an abscess on the brain that can be treated with antibiotics and he'll be all "better".
This plot is LAME.

Wow. I haven't caught up with AMC for a while, but that hair is scary. Mr Young has had some pretty sucky hair styles in the past, but I thought he'd got over that when he joined AMC, but apparently not. Really, really not.

I wonder if JY is growing it out to do Disney's Tarzan on Broadway or merely doing it to piss off Disney so they let him out of his contract.

And while Amanda Baker's Babe is less bothersome than Alexa Havins' I am finding myself obsessed with her nose and lack of chin. Shallow mean me.

Holy hell. Someone has worse hair than Steve Burton??? WOW. Now that's something to be proud of.

If somebody doesn't get the hideous hair madness under control on ABC daytime I'm thinking massive intervention is needed. All hair care product ads should be pulled! Maybe that will wake up Frons and the higher ups.

And I haven't watched DOOL since HS, but I'd pay for GH to be 30% less cringe inducing!!!

what?? is long 'girly' hair in for the men of soaps now?? we even have dr julian on gh wearing a ponytail..say what you will about lucky on gh, at least he had the good sense to cut his hair, along with 'hotly' jason thompson..lets pray they keep it that way..

In addition to the Expression Hall of Fame, I say you guys should start a Shear Horror Hall of Shame.... it could be just various Jacob Young hairstyles to start out although I'm sure there were be many contenders to join.

"oily, feathered monstrosity" is right!

I have been complaining about Jr's hair for the past YEAR. I almost gagged at that whole exchange with Sonn...ER...I MEAN...ZACH and Jas...ER...I MEAN..JR!

most of the guys on the show could use a haircut. Zach with his Andy Gibb look. Tad sporting his 80's do, Jr's Greasy Jason Morgan, And Del's...HEY, THERE'S A CHARACTER NAMED DEL ON ALL MY CHILDREN ISN'T THERE?!

Don't get me started on Jonathon...If they really want a ratings spike for November Sweeps, the writers should just have Janet kill him or something. Or maybe they can SORAS Maddie(Edmund's daughter)by November enough to make her come back and kill Jonathon for KILLING HER FATHER EDMUND! In any case, Jon must go...

I absolutely love Richie, and I really am rooting for him. Not that I don't like John Ryan Aloyisous Lavery and Annie Mcderbot, I just think that since Richie came on board, those two characters have really come alive.

Amanda Baker is cool too. She is like a smart version of Babe. Darker blonde(+), no southern drawl(I got tired of hearing Mawma), and has a spunkiness about her. I would have cast Amanda as Hayley m'self and written Babe out, but then who else on the show would put their sexual desires before their children's welfare?

Gotta have Babe
buh Babe
buh Babe
Ah gotta have Babe
buh Babe
Buh Babe

I completely second the idea of a Shear Horror Hall of Shame.....Jason's dead Tribble...JR's whatever the hell that is....Leo's girly ponytail.....the possibilities are completly endless...and that's just the MEN. Add in the women? Duuuuuddddeeee.......

That's NOT Dixie? Hah. I was just scanning the post and saw that first cap and thought "A Zach and Dixie cap? That's random."

How horrifying.

Also, I appreciate the AMC posts, few and far between as they may be because every time I'm on the verge of saying "I wonder how AMC is lately" you whip out a post and my decision to cut that show out of my life is reaffirmed.

i love jacob youngs new hair do he looks so hot and its not greasy looking it looks way better then the short not so hot and blah hair cut ,
i hope jacob keeps his long hair do and i wish steve burton would of kepted his long hair he looks ugly with his spike hair i turn other way with his short hair ,

thanks for sharing about it.

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