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« Eeee! Exclamation Point! Exclamation Point! | Main | Yay or Nay? »

November 27, 2007

Oh GH . . . I Still Have So Many Questions

So a couple of weeks ago I had all the wrong questions.  Most of them still haven't been answered, but I have more.  The first of which is, of course, how the hell can I be confused by a show that often appears to be written by junior high-schoolers?  But moving on . . .

Can we all agree that there are a few things that glass-house-dwelling Sam should not lecture people about?  And that that those things include but are not limited to:  lying, lying about lying, a woman doing stupid shit to chase after Jason, and lying?

Sam:  What the hell is wrong with you?  Your best friend is lying there dead, and you leave Nikolas with her body so you can go after Jason?
Liz:  Does Lucky know?
Sam:  I doubt it.  He went after Zacchara.
Liz:  Alone?
Sam:  Oh, come on.  Do not pretend that you care.  Thanks to you and your lies, Lucky has nothing left to lose.

Sam really needs to develop a serious drinking problem, because Kelly Monaco would rock that, and Drunk Sam is about the only Sam I can handle these days.


Why is Jason Thompson so freaking gorgeous and when will the writers let us restore Patrick's "hotly" modifier?



Why does Epiphany (aka Mallory's nemesis) yell at doctors?  In what hospital would any nurse get away with telling doctors what to do, particularly as it relates to, you know, being a doctor?!

Dr. Julian:  [asks understandable question about Ric Lansing having become a kabob on a sword at the crazy castle]
Epiphany:  With all due respect, doctor, we have at least a dozen patients waiting to be seen down in the ER.  The DA is not one of them, the last time I checked.  Until he's admitted I suggest that we focus on the patients we do have.

My god, woman, what's it like when you don't give a doctor his due respect?!

Oh, and after this

Epiphany: Hey, I know you're scared.  But yelling at the people trying to help is the quickest way to get a seat downstairs.
Tracy:  If anything happens to my husband, I will have your medical license revoked.
Epiphany: People died here tonight.  If you don't want your husband to be one of them, I suggest that you shut your mouth long enough for us to do our jobs.

...why didn't Tracy kick some ass?  In what world is that acceptable bedside manner?


Is it possible that even an infant wants Steve Burton to get that greasy hair out of his face, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY (by which, since this is GH, of course I mean "the mafia")?



No seriously, why was there a bomb on the random boat that Jason "borrowed" like four weeks/3 GH days ago?


Is it confusing to anyone else that the kid who plays Michael's voice is changing but they still want us to think he's like 10?


If I found neither Monica's nor Edward's reactions to Emily's death especially moving, does that make me a bad soap viewer?


Why won't all the Night Shift refugees except Dr. Leo (because if he cuts his hair he's cute) shut UP?  Preferably after they go far, far away?  Particularly this one?


Does she need the oxygen because she hyperventilated over pearls again?


Why the fuck is SoapNet doing a marathon of some stupid sitcom about pregnant women?  Why do the idiots who run ABC Daytime/SoapNet not understand a single thing about soap operas?  [Okay, that wasn't really GH related, but seriously, I have thrown numerous shoes at my TV during those commercials on SoapNet.  Between those and the October Road marathon, is it not totally clear that that network has gone completely off the rails?]


Why is Kate still with Sonny after he basically told her he'd sacrifice her in order to continue his super-awesome life as a mobster?


How worried should I be about the fact that Bob Guza says he's going to be writing a super-romantic storyline for Emily [note: who is dead] and Nikolas well into 2008?


Who hired the mercenaries who attacked Jax, Jerry, Carly, and Sam on the island?


Does Steve Burton kick puppies in front of the little boy who plays Cameron in their off-time, or is that kid just the best actor on the show?





What does Laura Wright do to have such marvelously perfect hair?


And why can she not work similar magic on the writing of her harpy bitch of a character?


Will Ned ever get to show up for something other than funerals? Speaking of which, how many Quartermaines does this writing team get to kill off before someone realizes they are creatively bankrupt hacks?


Doesn't the Hippocratic Oath say something about doing no harm?


Screencaps (the non-crappy ones) courtesy of Clarissa.


My friends and I are convinced Brady Walkes (Cameron) can't tell anymore if Steve is a woman or a man.....but I vote solidly for best actor on the show! And that baby trying to get away from him is second best as well....god I love Lucam.....long may they reign! Lucky + Cameron = Beth's happy happy place.

And of course you should be worried.....anytime Guza starts TALKING you should be worried.....

and I didn't find anyone's reaction to Emily's death especially moving since I was too busy dancing a jig on her lousy friend, Jason headcheerleader grave...so if you're a bad soap viewer...I'm worse...I was cheering it.

And is it sad I miss the Dude! subject lines already? Dude! I still have so many questions!

Jason Thompson is indeed incredibly gorgeous, but I have begun to despair of his ever doing anything "hotly" again on GH. How bad do the writers have to be to look at that face and decide he should act like an ass on the show. He basically radiates warmth.

My new hope is that ABC puts him in an appropriate nighttime show that takes off, he is named the sexiest man in the world after winning the primetime Emmy and he then goes on to a spectacular movie career, a la George Clooney. I think he has it in him.

As for Monica and Bobbie, can you sue your plastic surgeon when you end up looking like that? Looking really old actually seems a better choice.

And not only why was there a bomb on the random boat, but will it ever be mentioned again?

Where WAS Lucky (seems pretty obvious Greg Vaughn must've been off for several days, but you'd think they could've written a better explanation than "I had a lot to deal with").

And the mother of all questions: How is it possible that is it about two days after Halloween, AND Thanksgiving, all at the same time???

Jason Thompson is the best. I hope he goes to primetime on ABC or another network out of GH hell because they do not know what to do with his character.

STFU, SAM!!! thank god for mute! really! that's what i've resorted to every time her character comes on screen. but this whole storyline stinks like baby jake's diapers and it's time to do away with it. however,it appears that our frenemy guza has decided to drag it out even longer in an effort to irrevocably AJ lucky. i suppose the bright side of that is that if Greg Vaughn should ever leave, Sean Kanan could step right into the part without missing a beat.

I hate Sam. She is such a pathetic beeyotch. I can't wait for the day she chokes to death off her cleavage.

"Speaking of which, how many Quartermaines does this writing team get to kill off before someone realizes they are creatively bankrupt hacks?"

Word to the word, Becca. This show has crapped upon show history, beloved characters, and my infinite patience one too many times. Can I also add another question - Is it wrong for me to actively wish for this show's cancellation?

It's time we give Robin and Patrick time to work out their differences and get them back together to be the bantering fun loving, hot make out couple they are and forget about Leyla...If that crazy Guza didn't decide he would force feed us Patrick and Leyla she probably would have done better....and not everyone would be hating her...Hooking up a "world renowned surgeon" with a barely legal student nurse, was stupid and he knew it but he just wouldn't admit he made a bad error in judgment....he just keeps prolonging the agony and shoving it down our throats....maybe we will have to use the OFF button on our tv to make him understand..He had a super couple (Robin and Patrick) already and why he ever split them the way he did I'll never know...they have amazing chemistry...how did he miss that...and even when everyone let him know how they felt he still forged ahead...he ruined NS with his lies...re: P/R...made promises he didn't keep (that seems to be his way...always promising and not delivering) and now is messing with GH...the powers that be better get him out of their before GH goes down the tube....he doesn't get that its ROBIN/PATRICK that are the drawing card and he can't mess with perfection...I think his EGO is the problem..he thinks he can manipulate us but he is wrong...the fanfiction is better than he has been giving us...after all it is all fanfiction so let's have what we like not what he wants us to have pushed on us....WE WANT ROBIN AND PATRICK TOGETHER.....NOW!!!

Poor Jason Thompson-having to sacrifice Patrick's hotly on the altar of a ho who has decided that 2 dates + baklava + a quick couch shag=love for the ages. Damn, Guza, at least you could have gotten an actress who could, you know, ACT, and who had just a smidgen of chemistry with Jason Thompson(my God, look at the man-it couldn't be that hard!!) to play her. Not that you would have been able to stop the Robin/Patrick machine (I mean, I still kind of want them together, and Patrick can basically bite my fat ass right about now) even then, but at least these last months (and the whole of Night Shit) wouldn't have been QUITE as painful.

And how worried should you be about Guza's talk re: a great Nem love story with a DEAD Emily? Um, well, it is Guza so....if Nik heads toward the Quartermaine family plot w/a bottle of champagne and a big smile, TURN OFF YOUR TELEVISION IMMEDIATELY!!

What?! Oh, y'all don't think Guza is that sick?! REALLY?!

And I have to agree-the actors who play Cam and Baby Jake need to tie the Emmy for Best Younger Actor this year, flat out.

And *I* hired the mercenaries that attacked Sonny, Sam, Carly, and Jax....Jax was an accident, though....they were supposed to get Liz, too.

Can we please have someone be snarky and sarcastic to Jason every freakin day that he is on screen (which is nearly every damn day) just as Nik did yesterday? Please!

Why must Sam be given the best lines at the most inappropriate times? Though I have issues with the timing of her rants at Liz, I have no problem with anything she actually said to the Lying Liar who Lies.

Why can't we see more of the gorgeousness that is Jason Thompson?

Will there be any Qs left after next year's sweeps?

Is it worse to wish harm to a fictional child or a non-fictional GH head writer, the GH executive producer and the head of daytime at ABC? Well, not actual harm, but certainly the acquisition of other jobs far, far away from GH and ABC.


So agree with you! Guza's biggest lie was that Night Shift was going to be about the relationship between Robin and Patrick. What he really meant was that he would take that opportunity to break them up for the flimsiest of reasons. And he would also begin the process of destroying the character (Patrick) that had the best chance to bring in the viewers over the long run. People are still referring to NS Patrick and GH Patrick because they were so different. But then he had to import that stupid story to the daytime show, making Patrick a real ass in both worlds.

I seriously don't get it. Why? That strategy is against the show's own best interests. It just makes no obvious sense, and I'm still trying to figure it out.

I love Cam and the actor that plays him! I mean come on that kid is just fantastic! He makes me laugh every time!

Marianne..you hired mercenaries too? I thought those were mine and they got confused as to Jason was....I just told them to take out the one with the bad hair, bad wardrobe and the moral superiority halo hanging around his head....so I can see where they got confused and attacked who they attacked. But if they were yours......

So how long before it is revealed it wasn't Nik or the mob who killed Emily but Random Day Player 99?

Is it wrong to wonder if it really is illegal to fire someone who is on strike and if it is, to then hope for the speedy resolution so Guza CAN get fired?

Well I guess that if Jason's going to be spending more time with the baby we might have some hope of Steve B getting his hair cut given that kid is clearly going to be yanking on that hair every chance he gets.

You know, I suppose it could have been either of ours,Beth....hmmmmmmmm....lol.

And Alice, the only thing I can figure is that Guza and Frons have figured out some way, ala The Producers, whereby they can make more money getting GH cancelled than not doing so. Seriously, I picture them running about the studios singing, "Springtime for Cracktrick..."

I have a question too: When is Patrick going to come out of the shower, so Robin can tell him the last year of complete crap has all been a dream?!

And yes, you should be worried about Guza thinking he can do an incredibly romantic love story with a dead woman and Nik! I've already got the booze stocked in my fridge to start getting me through the next week of watching it - getting through this storyline is gonna be expensive!

And, I don't know why these idiots keep killing of the best family on the show, but if I were a Quartermaine, I'd be locking my doors and staying home come February sweeps!

I honestly don't know what the writers want us to think whenever Epiphany appears. I suppose we're supposed to see her as a Strong, Sassy Woman any workplace would be proud to have, as if in your dream workplace you want someone who patronizingly yells at you every time you stop to have a two-minute conversation with a co-worker.

Cameron is just awesome. I so can't wait for that kid to grow up and just despise his mother...mark my words, it will happen. If this show is still on the air in ten years, Liz will get little to no love from him because of her BS. Just you wait and see.

Anyway, if this whole Nikolas/Living Dead Girl (Emily) thing gets way out of control it could be either the worst thing ever or just unintentionally dark and funny. You just know GH is just going to suck it up big time so as long as they don't cross any lines that should be left untouched, this could be a fun ride.

I agree Charlie...anyone else think its hillarious that Liz is doing EXACTLY to her kids what she always claimed her parents did to her? i.e. show blatant favortism towards one and not not the other?

One day Liz will be dropping Cam off at the neighbors while she races off to save the mob world and one very big bill for a first class plane ticket to wherever it is his dad Lucky is will appear on her doorstep.

Those pics of Cam are so cute. He is the most awesome thing going on GH right now. Do you think Jason is jealous about the fact his mussy "I just woke up from my nap" hair looks better than his?

I never read your write up on Drunk Sam - it's hilarious. I think I'd love to go out drinking with KeMo also; I bet she's a riot. She probably has to drink every time she realizes her character has been sacrificed to the point of dumb lines repeated over and over, and that now she can only look forward to good hair days (yesterday I loved her hair).

Poor Kate - she is dead to me now. She's just another mob moll. Her hair, however is looking cute these days.

In fact, even Georgie's hair looked good today.

What's going on? That's my question: Did they finally fire the bad hair person?

I agree with everything everyone has said about Patrick and Robin and especially the destruction of Patrick's character and that 13 week abomination known as Night Shift, and I really can't add a thing. Just...WORD!

Oh, and Pip and Leyla seriously need to die. That's all. lol

The kid who plays Jake was soooo trying to get away from SBu's hair! And Cam's always great. Liz is apparently doing SOMETHING right!

Oh, and we do actually know who hired the mercenaries: Trevor. On one of the last days of the B&W Ball, we saw him giving orders. He brought them to "contain" witnesses to Zucchini's "reign of terror" or something. Doesn't really make much sense, but, you know, it's GH and all.

As cheesy as Edward's blubbering was, at least he could muster tears, which was more than Leslie Charleson could do - definitely a sign of being pulled too tight! ARGH. Also, did Jerry really profess his love to Carly in this mess? DOES ANYONE REMEMBER HE ALMOST MARRIED HER MOTHER? Pre-psychoticness, but still . . . double ARGH.

If the GH writers are finally (!) getting Sonny to tell the truth (like the fact that he will keep his job regardless of the hurt it causes others) why can't they have his smart, and savvy girlfriend call "foul"?

Did she actually say "You're not to blame at all for Emily?" - OK, he didn't strangle her but people die like flies around this guy. He does need to get some "credit" for that!

I have this wonderful dream where Kate looks at Sonny and says "I love you but you have to either get real body guards [I won't even go there] or quit! You are a menace."

..and the kicker is I like Sonny. I don't think he's the moral compass of even a fictional town, but looking at him as a "bad guy with a heart of gold" works for me.

Shame that GH would never consider him a bad guy. Killing people for a living is so noble if you feel (slightly) bad afterwards.

Dude! Why was this one not called "Dude...I still have so many questions?"?!?!

I want Patrick's "hotly" qualifier back so badly.

And you know it's bad when honestly that one screencap of the useless one sucking up oxygen that could save other people makes me want to hurl my computer out my window.

Mallory--we have the same nemesis. If you should ever need help taking the bitchy nurse down, I am so there.

Cameron is the best actor, or at least the smartest one, on this "soap." He should win an Emmy.

Not to pile on poor LC--who must be sensing, I'm NEXT!--but isn't she also wearing a wig? That hair looks so fake, making her final transformation into a bad waxworks. *shudder*


The kid who plays Cam is a genius and out acts the whole damn cast!

The "love story" for Dead Em and Nik Guza is referring to is ofcourse another one of his patheitic movie rip offs. GHOST. Picture it.....Nik and Em are hot to feel their passion in the flesh even though she is dead. Enter wisecracking Epiphany! Emily invdes the rotund nurse's corpial form to bang Nik! TC and SE are going to have sex scenes! Buckle up, drink up, and get a bucket ready!!!!!!! Epiphany is no Whoopi Goldberg.

Ric Kabob!!!!! I love it!!!!!

LW has perfect hair, but it does not improve her screeching or Carly.

I LOVED Monica's reaction to both Jason and Sonny. She is right. Even Sonny admitted that to Kate.....Kate has now lost all her brain cells. Sonny tells her she will die for him and he will just keep on being a mobster and find a new moll, and she stays? WTF?

And hormonal voice cracking creepy Michael. His blood lust is Zacharra like. By all means PC keep giving the mobsters kids to raise, freaking brainiacs.

Alexis and Ric Kabob are out of GH, but poor Leyla is still recuperating? I wish she'd choke on her pearls or her tongue, whatever.

I adore drunk Sam and hope she comes back really soon. If not drunk, she just makes me cringe. Maybe she and high Lucky can have more hot if not sloppy doped up sex!?!?!?!

And the best is Baby Jake. Like his half brother he too knows the misery and horror that Jason has become.

Jake to Jason-"You can't be my Daddy Dude! Your hair is repulsive. I want Lucky, he's cool and looks good. You take Mama Liz and her bad bleach over hightlighted hair job away too please. Maybe after a long spa rehab you two can visit me and Cam. Until then, leave me with Lucky."

Yes, Lisa, I think LC is wearing a wig, too. She looked comical coming into Emily's funeral service with her obvious bad wig, big ass sunglasses and way too botoxed, stretched out face. It was just bizarre. Please, medical community, I beg of you all, take a stand, do no more work on this woman.

Why didn't Tracy come right back at Epiphany's "people have died here tonight" pushiness with "Yes, I know, one of them was my niece, and I'm just scared to death my husband could be another one since he's had two heart attacks here tonight, and we've all been through hell while a maniac and a bunch of gunmen stalked the island. So how was your night? Did you get a chance to work on your bedside manner?"

"Why didn't Tracy come right back at Epiphany's "people have died here tonight" pushiness with "Yes, I know, one of them was my niece, and I'm just scared to death my husband could be another one since he's had two heart attacks here tonight, and we've all been through hell while a maniac and a bunch of gunmen stalked the island. So how was your night? Did you get a chance to work on your bedside manner?"

Sarah, you're a genius!

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