General Hospital Week in Review

This show is still boring me.  But I've come to the realization that despite that, the blog must go on.  Plus Maxie had a super cute outfit this week that I had to preserve in screencap form.  So the official Week in Review returns.

The truly moving story of Will the Hitman Recover the Use of His Hands in Time to Kill Again and Sleep With the Woman Who He Isn't Supposed To Be Sleeping With Because As His Babymama She and His Kid Are In Danger From the Job He Is So Desperate to Get Back? continues. 

Ugh.  At least the visual of the oven mitts of gauze is entertaining.

I call this:  I CAN HAZ GUN?

(I also loved Sonny's pissy little rant about how dare Jason get injured, and maybe "this is just an excuse" not to do his Really Important job.  Yes, that gauze does look psychosomatic to me.  Although I would welcome the twist that Jason is faking all this because it's the only way he can break up with Sonny.)

Mike's amazement at Marianna's mad waitressing skillz was...entertaining.

Mike: I don't know who you are, but that was amazing.  And you did it all with a smile!

Yeah man, when she picked up those two plates, at two separate times, and then poured coffee?  IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.  How DOES she do it?  One day I hope to be able to transfer liquid from one container to another without scowling.  I dream big!

Listen, I know waitressing is hard work.  But waitressing for 30 seconds....isn't, really.  But this was such an obvious attempt to prop a character that is otherwise as appealing as a brow wax, I just laughed.  Tune in tomorrow, when Marianna will be wearing an "I Heart Puppies" t-shirt and extolling the virtues of rainbows! 

If this show thinks it's going to make me sorry for saying, as I am about to, that I would rather watch an hour a day of that fake ventilator "breathing" for comatose Logan than Marianna do anything, especially Ric, well then 1) it will be first evidence I have seen in a long time that anyone there thinks about anything, really, and 2) NO.

Michael and his disturbing understanding of his father's business is finally apparently as obvious to the writers as it has been to viewers for the last several years.

Michael: When people don't do what my dad says, they die.
Crazy Cabin Lady: He gives them the evil eye?  ::giggles::
Michael: No.  He has a guy who shoots them.  That's his job.  I'm not making it up.

If there are no further consequences to all of this stuff with Michael beyond him getting stuck in a cabin with an old lady for a few days, I will be disappointed.  But unsurprised. 

If they would just age Michael by five or so years, I think they could do some really interesting stories following up on this whole idea that he has been so damaged by Sonny's "job."  But as it is now this young kid has already shot someone, as part of this heavy-handed "guns are bad, mmkay, but only in the hands of kids" story.  And he isn't even in high school yet, and I was creeped out by him long before he started experimenting with death threats and firearms.  So what am I supposed to get out of this storyline, again?  No wonder the writers lose track.  I did in less than three sentences.  I guess I can sum up by saying I don't really like this character so I don't care what happens to him

Hey, speaking of characters I don't really like so therefore I don't care what happens to them . . . This week we learned that Dr. Devlin is the criminal that Jerry/James/Moreau has been dealing with for months.  I can't remember if we know what specific crimes he's committed, but the "good" side of him in the form of Dr. Devlin has been around for about ten minutes and is pretty much a douche, so I'm not sure the writers achieved the Dr. Jeckell/Mr. Hyde thing they were going for.  More like Mr. Hyde/Mr. Hyde-ish. 

Dr. Devlin does appear to have about 17 specialties, though, which is at least three or four more than most doctors at GH, so there's that.

I feel like Johnny has been in the same outfit, writing music on the walls of a tiny room for weeks.

Do you know why?  Because Johnny has been in the same outfit, writing music on the walls of a tiny room for weeks.  This show is truly all about the drama.

Ric and Claudia's first scene together made me think:

1) These two have the potential to be a smoking hot couple.  Two actors who have mad chemistry with virtually everyone they're paired with, and characters with an intertwined history that doesn't involve them ever having dated.  Intriguing.

2) Rick Hearst needs a haircut.

3) Marianna sucks.  (She wasn't in the scene, sure, but . . . she sucks that much.)

Oh, and I am still waiting for Sarah Brown to email me her fitness routine.

Damn, girl!  Claudia should just insist the next mob war be decided based on arm wrestling.  She will get those shipping lanes back stat.

I know it's meaningful to Kate because of what it represents from childhood, and that it's supposed to be some symbol of how enduring her and Sonny's relationship is,

but every time I see that fucking hideous hat I just bust out laughing.  And you know Kate Howard would too, if she weren't so inexplicably mesmerized by the wondrous (and wandering) Corinthos wang.

You know what would have made the final goodbye between Nikolas and Emily really touching?

If she hadn't died SIX MONTHS AGO.

My love of DrunkSam is well-documented.  Well, FlirtySam isn't nearly as enjoyable (how could she be?), but I so enjoy it when Kelly Monaco gets an opportunity to be expressive over something other than one of Sam's loved ones dying or Jason betraying her.  Now granted, she was flirting with the now confirmed to be evil Dr. Devlin, but whatever.  Fun screencaps!

This week, Robin and Patrick argued about the baby, about Robin's stubbornness, and Patrick's reluctance to be a father.

It was groundbreaking.

I still love their scenes because the actors are so good together and the storyline has such potential, but that's only going to carry me through the same repetitive arguments for so long.  And then Jason Thompson's hotness will only get me through another year or so, max.

Sam, what do you think of this ongoing Robin and Patrick argument?

I know, I'm so over it too.

The genius GH casting department chalks up another victory, once again with a father/son pairing.  Meet the new and older Spencer. 

They even have the same forehead!  Truly, that little boy looks like he could be Tyler Christopher's and Alicia Leigh Willis' kid.

It is a little weird that now Spencer is older than Cameron and is creeping up on Morgan.  But 1) it's a soap, these things happen, and 2) I am totally fine with Spencer in particular aging rapidly, because the older he gets, the longer Courtney has been dead.

I love, love, love this outfit. 

I can't find a better shot of the dress, but it is 100% adorable.  Should you be wondering what to get me for St. Patrick's Day, this is it.

Oh, on substance.  I had a brief moment when I was like hey there Spinelli, how you doin'?

But then they cut to a close up of that hair

and I wanted Maxie to shield my eyes, too.

Hee.  I so enjoy it when she is perplexed/repelled by him.  Although he did look better in the more normal clothes she gave him, and the two of them sleuthing together continues to be good soapy fun, I still will pitch a fit if the show puts these two together romantically.

I know my dislike of this potential pairing isn't shared by a lot of our readers.  It's not that I don't like the actors.  I do.  And I like the characters as friends, and maybe as partners in a PI business.  But I don't see them as a believable couple.  Mostly because I don't think they've made Spinelli a believable guy yet.  He's still a cartoon.  Bradford Anderson isn't the prototypical soap hunk, which I think is a good thing.  (I am a sucker for a hot dork -- a current example being Nick on Days.)  So they don't need to make Spinelli talk like a mad-lib and have hair like Peter Brady in a windtunnel for me to believe he's a dork.  I could get that, from the computer obsession and the social awkwardness and so forth.  The caricature they have decided to go with is just lazy writing, in my opinion.  If it's meant to be campy and funny, fine.  But then he doesn't get to have a romance with the town's most awesome bad girl.   

I am really enjoying the ongoing battle between Tracy and Monica.

Especially because if Tracy wins, we might actually get some scenes in the near future in the Quartermaine mansion.  Yes, they're going to have to start inventing new Quartermaines to fill up all the rooms since the writers have been killing off that family for sport, but a few scenes in the Q abode are better than nothing.

Oh, yeah.  On Friday about half the town was on a pier when it went boom.  I'm sure this will be something hugely dramatic that is riveting and trailblazing and changes everything.  Don't you think, Sam?

I concur.

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.

Comments

[jordanbaker]

"I Can Has Gun?" made me LOL.

[KellsBells]

I think we should always ask Sam what she thinks from now on. Maybe she will tell tptb what buttholes they are.

[Vicki]

How about the speed with which Jason was whisked off to Seattle?

Or when Nikolas was thrashing on the OR table and we caught a glimpse of his butt?

Yummmy.....

The whole Lulu/Logan thing is wearing thin, and we'd better hear some concertos from Johnny, seeing as how he's had all that time to compose it.

[Beth]

"I am totally fine with Spencer in particular aging rapidly, because the older he gets, the longer Courtney has been dead."

If your everyday brilliance wasn't enough to endear me to you, this statement would seal the deal. Bravo! And Amen!!!!

[Beth R.]

How about the fact that Jason's hands were just waayyyyyy too specialized to be treated in Port Charles...home of super awesome surgeons who practice EVERYTHING and are awesome at every last one of them.....so he HAD to go to Seatle for treatment? His hands are too freaking COMPLICATED to be worked on by GH's own staff? You know Lucky's decision to not get medical treatment for the bullet to the chest is looking smarter and smarter all the time.

Although for the record I did laugh my ass off at him leaving without telling Liz "you are my life now" Webber. That was straight comedy to me. Remind me AGAIN why I want a guy to treat me like that?

[Dia]

I have to wonder if Marianna would be less boring if she were still being portrayed by the original actress they cast for the role, who IMO was so much cuter and more charming. Then again, writing will out, so maybe not.

[will]

haha..i also do love the tracy/monica scenes...actually..that and the spinmax scenes are almost the only things i watch nowadays..i usually just fastfoward the mob crap, and lulu and logan...ugh..i dont want them together...nik and em is alright i guess..sam and devlin (throws up) he is creepy and has a weird stomach (isk if everyone caught that)watevs..maybe it'll be better this week (eye twitches)

[Sarah]

Jason, like Brenda and Robin before him, has left town in the middle of the night not only to save his magical shooters but to try and expedite his breakup from Sonny! I vote he goes the way of Lily, and dies to escape Sonny's wandering wang and endless stupidity and cruelty!

Becca how can you belittle the appeal and necessity of a brow wax like that? Marianna is now and forever useless and boring. A brow wax is a crucial face framing beauty must. A moment of pain for a month of beauty!

And Kate, poor sad silly dopey girl. She even admitted to Jax that Sonny wandered on her when they were together back in high school. She let it go as long as he never went back to the same "other" girl more than once. Thus beginning Sonny's long vomit inducing dependancy on hookers! Way to be a woman Kate.

SpinMax as friends, great. As lovers, no way in freaking hell!!!!!!

The aging of Spencer being good because it makes Courtney extra long dead is priceless. :-) Her body is just like Sarah Brown's. Maybe they box together?

Did you catch Trevor mocking Claudia because she tried to kill herself after her Daddy sexually abused her? Hence the 80's bangle bracelets on both wrists. What a charming moment for Trevor, how very Sonny of him. Blaming a 14 year old girl for wanting to die after being abused by her father. None of this however makes me warm up to Claudia in anyway. Sad.

Back to Courtney, yippee she's still dead! Have you seen ALW on "The L Word"? HILARIOUS. She is hooked up with the power hungry evil idiotic lesbian version of Sonny! And ALW character is just a vapid slutty cheating girlfreind to her, kind of like Carly. It's a bizzarro world deja vu lesbian GH. It's a laugh riot w/ oil wrestling and fabulous heels.

Lulu needs to die. In my dream GH Logan wakes up and hits her in the head with a wrench! Guza loves revenge, it could work.

Michael needs to go to therapy and military school ASAP. And as punishment for being hideous parents Sonny, Carly, and Uncle Jason all need to be rendered infertile surgically!

I miss drunk Sam too. Maybe she should hook up w/ Coleman?!?

Tracy is a nut, I LOVE HER! Anything that gives her and Monica screen time is worth it.

Robin and Patrick get shit scripts and barely any screen time. So even when the writing sucks, they make it more than watchable. They have talent, beauty, and chemistry. No wonder TIIC hate them.

[Alice]

I hate to disagree, because I do like it when the soap takes advantage of the more mature actresses it has on the payroll, but the scenes with Tracy and Monica have been cringe-inducing. They remind me of the Krystal-Alexis cat fights on Dynasty that just happened to end up with them soaking wet. EWWWW.

The Diane/Alexis scenes on the other hand, usually involve witty banter, sly jokes and an acknowledgment that these are smart, successful women we're dealing with. More of that, I say!

[Susan]

Once, a very long time ago, I was a fan of the show. Then Amber left and Emily changed and as beautiful Natalia is, I could never truly accept her as Emily (I always thought that the character of Emily had more spitfire than Natalia portrayed).

Then, a few months ago, I gave the show another chance and fell in love all over again with Maxie (they have a fantastic character here with her history that sadly, they were thisclose to screwing up but I feel has been semi-redeemed).

Because of this, I wandered over to a little site called serial drama and I've never left. It doesn't need to be said how clever you girls are, but for the heck of it, I'll go ahead and do just that. Your posts always make me laugh, especially as I completely understand your love/hate relationship with this absurd show. I think that this post is one of the greatest, with the screencaps of Sam's face making it utterly priceless.

Well done, ladies! Well done.

[Jennifer]

You know what would have made the final goodbye between Nikolas and Emily really touching?

In addition to her not having died six months ago, I think the final goodbye would have been more touching if, you know, it had been the FINAL goodbye. We've got months left of this crap.

[Becca]

Wait, WHAT?! I thought we were finally rid of this insanity! I just assumed that the pills wouldn't work and Nik would have surgery, like, this week or something. Lord, beer me strength.

[lynne]

I LOVE that screencap of the bomb timer. So much happened in those 2 minutes! They kept showing the timer, while all kinds of stuff happened - Carly drove there to pick up Michael, had a long conversation with him, Claudia asked Sonny to meet her there, Sonny picked up Beethoven (I mean Johnny) drove there to meet Claudia, etc. LOL!

Mari-Ahnna zzzzzzz -- sorry, I fell asleep typing her name.

Michael, stay with the old lady! She will give you a nice, stable home.

Jax, please divorce Carly NOW! As sad as it is for a woman to lose a baby, I don't want those two tied together forever by a kid. Jax needs a kid with a NORMAL woman.

Love Maxi. Hate Lulu. No, really, I HATE her.

Traci and Monica -- older characters with lots of history -- and Quartermaines to boot, so PLEASE, we need to keep their scenes short and moronic. Signed, Fronz

Kate, I am losing respect for you! Sonny is going nuts, and you know all kinds of reprehensible things about him -- run! Hide! Get away while you can!

I am TRYING to like Claudia, but she still looks like a tranny with a great bod. Soften her up a bit, will ya?

Please keep Sam as a scheming witch. She is so much more interesting that way than as a poor-me victim.

See, Jerry's been taking those liver pills from the eeeevil Dr. Hyde, and that's what makes him bad. See, Jerry's really a GOOD guy who is trying to protect the good people of Port Chuck from all the bad buys by going undercover as the eeeeevil Moreaux. See, he didn't really kill Stan - he just made it look that way. See, we can redeem him anytime we want to suit our needs so he can be with Alexis. But he will always be somewhat evil cuz that's what *I* want. Signed, Guza

May I just say, that even tho it is a love/hate thing with GH, it is still better than AMC.

[nattyp]

ITa with everything you said. Ric needs a new storyline that waitress he is shagging is boring! I hate the NEM storyline, the writers havent known what to do with nik since forever. I love patrick and Robin, why won't they give them more screen time? why cant we even see a phone call to anna telling her that she's pregnant. is that asking too much? thanx for the review it's the only thing that gets me through this show

[no relation to steve]

As usual, I wish Becca wrote GH.

Can we talk about how Johnny has been trying to be Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing for the past three weeks? I guess wardrobe thought that would add an interesting element to him writing octaves on the walls.

Lulu and comatose Logan have about as much chemistry as Lulu and ANYONE. Three guesses why none of her love interests have stuck. In spite of that oh-so-attractive "everything's about me" attitude.

Marianna is awful -- there's enough awful on the show, why did they introduce her? Cannot belive I am pining for the days of long-lost bastartd children to keep alive legacy family genes. I know it gets kind of incestuous on some soaps, but COME ON!

[CHIgirl2112]

I swear they are going to fire me at work for laughing hysterically at the computer for no apparent reason. Really - it's not that you're sarcastic, it's you are sarcastic and DEAD ON!!!!!

Ok - really - explain the Spinelli thing to me. I love dork hotties (i.e. that guy on Numbers) but Spinelli?? Puhleeze - even if he was a good actor - his s/l is so terrible that nothing can help it. Not him, not his acting, not anything.

As long as Patrick continues to become a "man" and quits whining about life and starts taking charge (I AM GOING TO BE THE FATHER) - that's all this world needs to keep rotating properly on its axis. Nothing worse than a hot man begging to be liked. But.... a hot man wanting to club his woman and drag her back to the cave by her hair? Oh yess..... hubba hubba

[Charlie]

And just when you thought this show couldn't get any more ridiculous...then came Carly's version of "Heaven". Ugh.

I wonder who's trying to tank their show first-AMC or GH. It's like watching two horses racing neck in neck to the reach the glue factory first.

[Nicole]

I still like Spin and Max as a couple, but I do agree that he's too cartoony at this point. I wish the writers would turn him into a real character. Maybe when they factor in the father storyline it will happen.

[Cate]

It kills me that I can't stand Michael but the writers make it simply impossible to like him. Here's a character who is half Spencer and half Quartermaine two of the strongest most loved families on GH, yes he's the product of a one night stand between each family's weakest player but still!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could see a glimpse of Bobbie or a little bit of Alan in him from time to time...of course it would but thats never going to happen because Michael is all Sonny and not even the good parts of him that we haven't seen in 10 years!

[Cate]

It kills me that I can't stand Michael but the writers make it simply impossible to like him. Here's a character who is half Spencer and half Quartermaine two of the strongest most loved families on GH, yes he's the product of a one night stand between each family's weakest player but still!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could see a glimpse of Bobbie or a little bit of Alan in him from time to time...of course it would but thats never going to happen because Michael is all Sonny and not even the good parts of him that we haven't seen in 10 years!

[Sarah]

Amen Charlie! The horse race to the glue factory analogy is dead on. And Carly's heaven? How sad and obvious. The only thing that would make that scene tolerable is if when the bitch wakes up she tells Sonny and Jax all about her "heaven". Then they both dump her forever!!!!!!!!!

I do believe that Sam has been taking "Bitch, please" classes from Cameron.

(Hee! I bet that statement pissed off a lot of fanbases!)

I very much enjoyed the Sam screencappyness. Look at Kelly Monaco being all emotive and expressionful away from *blink* *stare*.

[Kat]

Patrick and Robin are the thin thread that keep me attached to this show.

And Carly's version of heaven is telling. Is she reunited with the child she lost with Sonny? Nope, she plays pool with Jason. Right.

I think Jax's version of heaven must be a quiet room.

[Melissa]

I so agree with you on Ric and Claudia. I'm often (who am I kidding, always) doing other things while watching GH and their scenes actually had me stopping what I was doing to watch. And no one else outside of Robin and Patrick can do that to me. So yeah, Guza will probably ruin that one soon enough as well.

And flirty Sam was cute! I loved when she hid her smile behind the blanket.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

"2) Rick Hearst needs a haircut."

YES! It's driving me nuts! I blame Marianna, because it feels so good.

"Claudia should just insist the next mob war be decided based on arm wrestling."

She'd break Sonny's arm in half. It'd be lovely.

"It was groundbreaking."

I totally woke up my mother with my howling of mirth at that. I'm blaming you. Thankfully, my mother is awesome.

You know, I hadn't really paid attention, but you're totally right that the casting department pulled out a gold metal performance with the casting of Spencer. He definitely looks like a little Cassadine, with nary a trace of inexplicable Asian-ness in sight! BTW, TC is adorable when he holds kids, so hopefully this new Spencer will be around a bit more.

I actually agree with you re: Spinelli and Maxie. They still have work to do to make Spinelli a Real Boy, and that hair definitely has to go, but Maxie has already made progress in dragging him into three-dimensionality and it needs to continue. They need to be friends/PI partners for a long while before they should even think of romance. Which, in the wise words of a fellow TWoP poster, means they'll be married, divorced, and remarried within the year. *sigh*

[Gigi]

are you guys ever going to do a recap of the Robin Unwrapped marathon? I'd love to read your thoughts on the mid-90s eppy in particular.

[Becca]

Yep, I'm doing recaps of each of the three episodes. They're just taking awhile. Because the show back then was so complex and amazing and it's difficult to contain all that in a recap. Or because I'm lazy.

[mardou]

Loved the screencaps...and I am a huge SpinMax fan who absolutely agrees that they need to take Spinelli further into the direction of Real Boyness. That being said, I still love them together and hope the show takes them *slowly*.

I CAN HAZ GUN actually made me snarf soda onto my nifty macbook. So, uh...thanks?

[Charlie]

I got a couple of more:

ABC Daytime's new slogan: "Hell Bent For Cancellation".

And I think it would make GH livelier if they played the Sith intro music from the Star Wars movies every time Carly and Lulu walk into a scene. Wouldn't it just be awesome? Goodness knows they evil incarnate. Just imagine hearing that "duh nuh nuh..duh duh duh duh nuh nuh nuh"...it could warn off the others around them from their evil mind control powers.

It certainly couldn't hurt.

[mazz]

Re: Johnnies clothes...I don't think Sonny's men gave him the option of bringing an overnight bag and a change of clothes when they grabbed him!...Unfortunately, the violence that permiates this show just keeps going on and on. Yet ANOTHER explosion, people missing, searching through the wreckage....sound familiar? HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GOING TO REDO THIS SCENARIO???? Uggggghhhhhh!