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« Happy Birthday, Y&R! | Main | The End Is Nigh »

March 27, 2008

I Smell a Catfight!

Remember the scene in Juno where the ultrasound technician was bitchy and Allison Janney's character awesomely read her the riot act and an obviously impressed Juno said, "Bren! You's a dick! I love it!"

I kept replaying that scene in my mind when I saw Annie throw some expert bitchery Greenlee's way. It was awesome! I didn't know she had it in her! It's still true that Richie got the lion's share of brilliance in the Novak family, but Annie's not as hopelessly bland as I thought she was:

You know, you didn't kiss Ryan to help me. You kissed Ryan because he remembers being in love with Kendall, but he doesn't remember being in love with you, and you can't stand it.


Look, look, Ryan might have lost his memory, but I haven't. You came to Pine Valley and you wanted my husband.


Annie: You also wanted Kendall's baby, and you did your damnedest to get him.

Greenlee: All I've done recently is try to help you, so back off.

Annie: What, the way you helped Kendall when she trusted you with her son? How did that work out for you? Oh -- wait, that's right.

!!! She actually referenced the babynapping that the rest of Pine Valley is completely ignoring!

Of course Greenlee, Queen of Bitchcraft, gave it right back to her in her inimitable fashion:

It must be hell to be you. Ryan remembers Kendall, he remembers me -- hell, he remembers the way he likes his toast, but you? Nothing. Maybe because you're not special, maybe because there's nothing about you worth remembering.

That's pretty much a master class in being a snotty witch. I mean, seriously, ice cold! But I expect nothing less from Greens. We're used to self absorbed, condescending heinousness coming from her (I say this with love). I think I give the edge to Annie, just because her fabulosity caught me so off guard and because she's not quite as delusional as Ms. Smythe:

You and Aidan -- as if he would sleep with anyone besides me. I mean, no offense -- you're just not really his type

Dude, the two of you look EXACTLY THE SAME. Kendall even pointed it out to Annie back when SHE hated her.

It kind of makes me sad that Annie's all up in arms over Ryan. Surely there's a better man in Pine Valley who is actually worth the effort.

I am sure this is just the first of many in a long line of scenes where women hate each other because they are competing for the love of Ryan A. Lavery, the world's greatest savior/sexpot/simpleton and we'll probably see this same conversation on a daily basis and I'll get irritated about it in about two days. But as it stands right now, it was kind of fantastic and, sadly, one of the best things to happen on AMC in weeks.


That is a major accomplishment for Milquetoast Mama Annie, but for the love of all that's good and holy, why does she have to get her bitch on about RYAN??? I'm now convinced to believe that the guy must have a golden schlong or something along those lines, because, honestly, RYAN.

Thank yewwww, Mallory, for heaping praise on our Annie -- that girl is about to prove herself worthy! Usually, I'm not a fan of revenge fornication -- people just get hurt without anything positive being accomplished, but this time I cannot wait for Annie to pay back little Greenlee for all her meanness and manipulations, all under the guise of helpfulness and honesty. PUH. The Queen of Bitchcraft (snorff) is long overdue for some payback.

Annie put on her Lip Gloss of Seduction and she's strutting her lady business over to Aidan! Let the games begin . . .

I just can't abide Greenlee being a bitch to any of these people. I know that's basically what the character is, but I can't take it. She caused these people MONTHS OF ANGUISH when she kidnapped their child/stepchild, and now she's going to be all snippy and bitchy to them? I just . . . ugh. This character used to be fun. They crossed such a huge line with the babynapping thing, and the fact that they so willfully ignore that means I will never, ever get over it.

Like, I'm glad Annie got to mention it and all, but then she asked how that little course of action worked out for Greenlee. Well, last time I watched, it was working out pretty damn well for her. She got a new boyfriend, she gets to be Auntie Greenlee, Kendall kisses her ass more than ever, and she's got effing Zach thinking she's totally awesome. Which is bullshit.

In conclusion, Team Annie. Woo!

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