That's...Bold. Is Bold the Right Word?

Krystal: Adam -- shh, shh, shh, just keep it down, ok, you're going to wake the baby.

Adam: Who let you in?

Krystal: Lucretia.

Adam: What the hell is going on here?

Krystal: What does it look like?

Tad: Krystal's moving back in.

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that crime lords and assorted sadistic criminals were after my best friends and, by extension, me and I wanted to keep my daughter and wife safe.

So I try to think of places to hide them and keep them safe. I'm a PI, so I know all of the safe places in town.

The most logical and safest place in town is the mansion of my archenemy who happens to be the ex-husband of my current wife who, for the duration of my wife's pregnancy, thought he was the father of my daughter because my gold-digging wife (I say this with love) was perfectly content to lie to him about the baby's paternity if it got her access to his bank account, but they eventually had a falling out and he stranded her while she was in labor and eventually attempted to sell my daughter and I kind of foam at the mouth whenever his name is mentioned and take in his older children and try to indoctrinate them into my world where he is evil and I am the arbiter of all things good.

Sure, you may point out, the mansion of my archenemy was also the place where a serial killer killed my soulmate via poison pancakes, but what are the odds of a sadistic criminal striking twice in the same place? Slim to none, my friend, slim to none.

No matter how impressed I was with my brilliance or how stressed out I was over the fact that my friends and family might die, I like to think that, if push came to shove and it was a matter of life and death and I really needed my wife and daughter to live under the same roof as my archenemy/her ex-husband, I would at least have the decency to shoot an email over to my archenemy/her ex-husband, giving him a head's up so that he didn't walk into his house to find my freakshow family making themselves right at home and get snapped at for speaking loudly in his own home. Then again, my momma raised me right.

Comments

[Cece]

That is soooooo frickin' funny and sooooo frickin' what I was thinking.

"Sure, you may point out, the mansion of my archenemy was also the place where a serial killer killed my soulmate via poison pancakes ..."

and this little gem ...

"No matter how impressed I was with my brilliance or how stressed out I was over the fact that my friends and family might die, I like to think that ... I would at least have the decency to shoot an email over to my archenemy/her ex-husband ... "

If they handed out awards for blog posts, by I'd enter you at least five times. This was priceless. Hang this one on your refrigerator.

[Kat]

What does it say that Charm! seems less ridiculous than this?

[Kay]

I was just posting/discussing about this elsewhere and it was the funniest thing about AMC today IMO. OK, we need a safe place to stash Krystal and baby Jenny. Safe place, huh? How about the Chandler Mansion? Perfect! the Chandler Mansion - where the front door is NEVER locked, and the citizenry of PV roam free and unfettered through the tunnels, which feed into every part of the house. Perfect! Yeah THAT's a safe place...

[Charlee]

I thought about watching AMC today for the first time in months... yeah looks like it'll be another couple of months...
I checked in a couple of weeks ago, saw Tad's hair and cried. Oh, Tad, what is going on?

[Sarah]

Is my memory shot all to hell? Was Tad always this dunb? Or is bedding a Kerry chick like bedding Carly oh GH...it makes you a moron!!!!!!!

[Cece]

I've been meaning to comment on this for some time, but has anyone else noticed the lack of Jesse, Angie, Frankie and Samuel Woods on the opening credits. I mean Jonathan, Ava and (dear God! Why?!?!) Sean are still in the opening credits, but we can't get any love for the Hubbards and Samuel Woods? Come on AMC, you may be on the sucky end of the spectrum, but lets not fall into plain idiotic terretory. Oh, wait ...

[Jennifer]

God, I miss the old Tad.

I commented on the absence of Angie/Jessie/Frankie in the opening montage in the forums. Utter disrespect! But hey...if it's any consolation, (the real)Greenlee is in the opening credits!!!

[Sista Friend]

If EVER there was a hypocrite in Pine Valley it is one Thaddeus J. Martin! I love how Adam is the root of ALL evil, (which he is but he never really denies it either)yet everyone should worship at Tad's holy alter. However when all else fails... Adam is the only guy who can protect his daughter and his babymomma!

IMO Tad has NO room to talk crap about Adam, sure Adam schemes and lies and sells babies on the black market. But at least Adam hasn't ever killed anyone... at least I can't remember if he has lol.

[buddz]

Echoing the others, this was HI-larious! The "Keep Krystal Safe" plan was so outlandish that many of us, who tend to overlook a few plot devices for the sake of good story, were just struck dumb with disbelief. Dumb. No words. So thank you, Mallory, for making the whole situation understandable, because now, we know that all this is taking place in Bizarro Pine Valley. Now we know!

And add, too, that Tad's urgent NEED to keep his family SAFE was put on hold while he moved several carloads of baby paraphenalia out of the House of Sin and into the House of Chandler. Reckon most of the mean old murderers wouldn't take note of that, eh?
And his frequent little visits to Chez Chandler wouldn't tip 'em off, either?

Gah.