I'm Optimistic!

I know I've been really bitter about General Hospital lately, but I'm starting to feel really optimistic that they're turning this ship around.  Don't you think things are much better lately?  There was a month or so there where there were lots of non-mob stories getting airtime, and the writers didn't seem to have any favorite characters that they were catering too, and god, aren't you so glad that's over?

The SoapNet email I got today added to my optimism.  (Side note:  I heart SoapNet's shift away from wall-to-wall soaps.  Don't you hate networks that have only one theme?  Like, what if there was one that just showed cooking shows 24/7?  Or golf?  Can you imagine?  Ew.)  Anyway, I always love the spoilers that they put on the front page, in plain view of anyone who opens the email.  And the GH spoilers for this week were extra-awesome.

Well, the first one isn't awesome.  Patrick wanting to be a father to Robin's baby?  Snore.  Those two are so 2007.  If Patrick were really hot or I had watched Robin forever and was really invested in the character, maybe, but . . . no.  Robin should hook up with that hot doctor Ian, and Patrick should get back together with Leyla.  Why did they ever break up?

But hello, Maxie kisses Spinelli?  Woohoo!  Now that he's had the time to develop into a realistic character with sincere feelings for Maxie, and isn't a caricature who talks like a comic strip, I'm on board.  I hope when he kisses her, Maxie runs her fingers through his hair.

And the awesomeness of Claudia failing in her plot to kill Sonny is evident to even the most casual viewer.  First of all, she's a chick and he's a mafia don so she can't win.  Second of all, she's still badass.  She wears tight clothes and red shoes and carries a gun -- that's like the dictionary definition of badass.  And I love badasses. Which is why I love Sonny, who -- on account of having a penis -- is the bigger badass of the two.  It's also easier to root for him because he's a good mobster.  He gives his hitman really good benefits and everything.  So anyway, the fact that he's not dead is good and the fact that we're going to get to see more of this ongoing mob war has me anxious to tune in every day to see what happens.

Oh, but there was this total bummer in the email, too.

Ugh.  Robin's mom is coming back to town?  What do we need her for? She's, like, old.  Plus if she comes back then that Robert guy might come back too, and he's even older.  Plus he's a spy or something lame like that, and he doesn't have anything to do with Sonny.  What if the show became focused on those two, or other couples like them?  That would be so tragic.  I can't even begin to imagine how much they had to pay to get her back.  Do you know how many awesome special effects that money could buy?

Comments

[rcade]

I'm really glad there's nothing coming up for the Quartermaines. It's time for GH to admit that people don't want to see wealthy dysfunctional families composed of non-mobsters. If Tracy and Edward aren't caught in the crossfire of a mob hit soon, I'll be sorely disappointed. Jason could move back in and turn the living room into a firing range!

[Vicki]

I would just like to jump on my soapbox for a minute and say that the writers of GH do not know their literary or film history. When Kate was explaining to Jax why she's naming her new mag Crimson, she said something about holding up a turnip and saying "I shall never be hungry again!"

Wrong-o. First, it was a radish, second Scarlett said "I'll never be hungry again!"

Sorry, but I'm a big Gone With The Wind fan, and if one is going to quote it or allude to it, at least get it right!

Carol Burnett did a better job!!!

[Robyn]

Happy April Fool's to you too!

I keep hoping the writers have been doing an April Fool's episode for the past five years and just got stuck, like Groundhog Day.

[Beth R.]

And thank heavens they have finally stopped talking about that annoying Spencer family! I mean who on Earth has even HEARD of them? Certainly not important people like new viewers in France! Thank goodness they have recognized the errors of their ways and started concentrating on the mob again just like they should have from the beginning.

Wow...that Kool Aid some random person left on my desk at work is really refreshing! THank you annoymous person for such a random act of kindness!

[CHIgirl2112]

Thanks for the April Fool's joke Serial Drama - because no one who truly follows you thinks that you are serious about Robin and Patrick are soo 2007.

That's cute.... Hey - did you hear the Chicago Cubs are no longer serving beer at the ballgames? True story. Apparently they lost their "opener".

Get it - they lost the home opener yesterday.....

[Sarah]

Jason gets dental insurance? Well, then I've been soooo wrong. Sonny is the bestest mobster ever.

I don't mean to contradict your who is the better badass Sonny or Claudia, but if it helps you determine the real winner I think you should know several of us believe Claudia has a penis too. She's just a tucker.

And I too can totally support the romantic pairing of the dork and the stylish swizzle stick as long as she DOES run her fingers through his hair. I mean somehting must be done to remedy that coif!

Anna? Seriously? They better get Lila's old wheel chair ready.

Happy April Fools Day to You Too!

PS I swoon for Guza!

[Sarah]

I think rcade is onto something that could save Frons big bucks. And spare us more CGI. Jason should move into the Q manse and turn the LR into a shooting range. Then the library could be his motorcycle repair area. The staircase could be where he shoves bad mobsters to their deaths. And also where Carly can throw herself down them some more for a few more miscarraiges. And think of the grounds, so extensive. Between Lila's rose garden and the various lawns he and Sonny would never run out of places to bury their "competitors". Who needs CGI bridges when the Q lawn set and patio are already built! Disposing of future Alcazar's will be so much simpler now. And Liz can paint the place full of her murals.

[Nicole]

You know who I haven't seen enough of lately? Carly. As a role-model for all women and a first-rate mom, this character needs to get some more screen time!! Give the woman a story already!!

[Cat]

Could they have picked a worse picture of beautiful Finola Hughes?

The story they really need to be focusing on is Claudia's needy, obsessive fatal attraction for that molten hot piece of burnin' love Sonny. Can't get enough of that SL.

[Marianne]

You know who I REALLY miss? Leyla. Beautiful, expressive, interesting-that chick could act. Unlike that terrible Kimberly McCullough-who on EARTH gave HER 2 Emmys? And she and Jason Thompson have like, ZERO chemistry-unlike that super-hot Peyla scene in the empty exam room.

Anna's coming back AGAIN? Ugh. Why? Are they doing product placements for Geritol and Metamucil now? At least we don't know that she's bringing either that old dude w/the blonde hair or the 80's rock star guy w/her-there's something to be hopeful about, anyway. B/c then she might have sex w/one of them-old people having sex *shudder* EEEEEWWWW!

And do you think, after Sonny gets over the fact she tried to kill him, we might get another awesome love scene w/he and Claudia? Cause, you know, I heart manboobs and androgynous females! AND MORE JIZ IS COMING! EEEEEEEEEEE! I was afraid we might see some more of that horrid Lucky being all smart and heroic and stuff, and who wants to see THAT? We have JASON for that, duh! And at least they're going to make Robin useful-she'll be propping Jiz this week. I suppose I can tolerate her in that case.

And, Beth R., my Kool-Aid was cherry, what flavor was yours?! Yum, kind stranger!

[Beth R.]

Marianne...you got cherry? Mine was grape. It was quite refreshing.

and you know what else I would like to see just for fun? How about a storyline where Lulu gets a guy to fall for her? Why can't she find a little love GH? why?

[Alice]

OK, what I have been dying to see, and I think might just be on the horizon, is the takeover of the city by the mob. Why can't Sunny be mayor? And Jason chief of police? Why must we put up with those stuffy, stiff-shirts like Mac and Lucky, who don't really understand the benefits that mob life can have for a community?

And General Hospital? What's with that name. With the amount of business provided by the PC mob, I think it only appropriate to rename it Corinthos Hospital, with the Morgan wing devoted to finishing off those who don't immediately die of gun-shot wounds.

Why don't Guza, Phellps and Frons realize that we have had enough of this non-mob story-lines. Patrick and Robin...Puleeese. They are not nearly violent enough. Get with the program ABC.

[rameau]

I'm fairly sure that Maxie will give Spinelli a small kiss on the cheek only because she hears him defend her to Lulu. But then again, this is April Fool's day.

[Sarah]

I hear Tamara Braun and Jennifer Bransford are returning to PC as a new mob family. Including Lulu that will give us FIVE Carly's! Gee I can't wait for that.

[Danny]

I've had a love/hate affair with Spinelli, but I must say he adds a certain levity to a show that has been so dark and horrible. Yes he's annoying and worships at the altar of Jason, but he's not violent and he's silly. Considering how silly I think the mob is, Spinelli's silliness is the kind I can actually get on board with.

[truetalltales]

OMG...5 Carlys. The HORROR!!!

[Michaela]

You know what I'm totally happy about? How they have almost killed off every young female character who doesn't have some sort of tie to the super cool awesome totally good mob. We managed to get rid of both Georgie AND Emily this year, woo! Now if we can just have Robin (yawn!) die in childbirth and have the totally awesome Lulu run that entitled bitch Maxie (who does she think she is, with her interest and knowledge of fashion design, having a job if Lulu has decided that she needs to have it?) out of town, this show would be even more incredibly super duper fantastic than it is NOW!!!

(Even as an April Fool's post, that hurt to write, people.)

[Brett]

And as an addendum to everything above, they must not, must NOT, under any circumstances, ever bring back Wally Kurth. Ever. Not even for Thanksgiving. That dimpled grin of his is detestable and I never want to see it again.

[natty3]

omg did u guys see the great montage at the end of today's episode. i mean who really wanted to see ned,aj,lucy,scotty,robert,anna,holly,edward,mac,frisco,felicia i mean the audience has no attention span so im so glad they showed the text message killer diego, the hotel fire and the cannery that just exploded this month. oh yeah and im thrilled they showed spinelli and his totally hilarious bnlack and white fantasies. oh and thank god they ended the montage with stumpy and brenda kissing and thank god we saw the borg blowing people away in the church montage. happy anniversary gh!

[V]

I'm really missing Dimly these days. How long has it been - a day or two? Emily dead is so much better than Emily alive.

Oh, and that 45th anniversary montage was so awesome! I'm so glad half of the montage were things that happened in the last year, you know, because we all have short memories. Jason shooting something was the best! I've forgotten he handles guns so well, what with his poor hand(s) injury (chopped to horrible mutilation by car window glass).

I feel like some Kool-Aid now. You all are hilarious! ^^

Happy Anniversary GH, ruler of April Fools #1 poster boy, Bob Guza.

[Mal]

Is anyone else afraid that this will be the one day TPTB stumble across and read this blog? And don't pick up on the sarcasm, on account of their dumbness?

HAHAHAHAH april fool's joke. ya'll are so witty.

[LeatherJacket]

What hurts me the most is that none of those spoilers include Jason shooting more "bad" mobsters, or any Sonny love scenes. You know, Sonny is soooooooo hot and sexy and when he kisses a woman, well, I just wanna trade places with her. Also, do you know if there are any plans to kill that horrible, boring, non-talented Maxie? She just sucks and is standing in the way of the awesome, beautiful, classy and kind Lulu, and the job she has worked for and deserves.

[horselover]

That montage was fantastic! Jason had TWO guns ablazing! (Swoon!). Sonny was in almost every scene. I loved the violence. Who wanted to see love in the afternoon? Not me. I didn't want to see Rick & Lesley, Robert & Holly, Frisco & Felicia, Duke & Anna. Naw. They just loved each other. Give me sex and violence anyday!

GMAB!