The Yawn and the Restless

Last night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I was going over my to-do list in my head ("What did I wear the past couple of Wednesdays? I don't want to repeat a Wednesday outfit tomorrow" "I need to immediately download Monday's How I Met Your Mother and watch it as many times as possible and maybe even write James Van der Beek a fan letter because WHO KNEW he had it in him?" "What kind of coffee should I get in the morning? Vanilla? Caramel? Mocha?") and I reminded myself that I have to write a Y&R post because I haven't done one in...forever. I've just had such a difficult time writing about it lately. I have been attempting to, but all of my posts boil down to "Why would Cane like Lily? Gloria is uber effing annoying. Peter Bergman is dreamy ex oh ex oh" and those things, while true, aren't exactly groundbreaking pieces of news and if I am going to rail against soap writers for ripping themselves off, I should probably be original myself.

Perhaps it was because Y&R was the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep, but...I totally had a dream about Don Diamont. It was weird. We were seated next to each other at some sort of luncheon and he totally knew how much I talk badly about him and I knew he knew I talk badly about him and I completely felt bad about it and we both thought it was awkward. And then when I woke up, I still felt a little bit bad, because I did focus a lot of my LML era ire on him and also, he has to live with the fact that he sported a mullet for so long. I hope that we can move past that and have a nice working relationship.

So that happened. Which is more than has happened on this show in ages...

It's kind of fitting that Victoria can easily be nicknamed "Vic-bore-ia" or "Vic-snore-ia", isn't it?* Because if there was ever an opportunity for her to get her bitch on, it would be the time where her alleged best friend confesses to having an affair with her father. And yet...she was just kind of...there. A bit shrieky, but mostly just...there. Not to mention hypocritical, since she, you know, married her mother's ex-fiance, but whatever. I was underwhelmed.

I mean, granted, if I found out that my father was romancing one of my friends, I'd be too busy projectile vomiting to lay any sort of smackdown, let alone focus on making it powerful, but I expect more from the Victoria Newmans of the world, especially when one considers how absolutely repulsive the pairing of Sabrina and Victor is. I'm not against the older man/younger woman thing (see above re: Peter Bergman), but this is wrong on almost every level.

Sabrina is a poorly written, poorly acted random character who seems kind of like a drag queen in most of her scenes and way too young for Victor. Like...way. I think Eileen Davidson's Ashley is too young for Victor. Eric Braeden is not an unattractive man, but it just seem ridiculous after a while that he's the lust object of Genoa City. The conspiracy theorist in me likes to think that Eric Braeden pitched a bitch and requested a hot young girlfriend (I meant to comment ages ago on the interview he did where he complained about being sidelined. Double you tee eff? When has Victor EVER been sidelined? He's been the focal point of the show for decades and he always comes out on top). Maybe he's not a diva, but I can't help but think that he is at least a little bit of a jerk. Although he was funny the time he guest starred on The Nanny, not that I watched The Nanny, and he was also in Titanic, so maybe he's not all bad. Where was I?

*I am reasonably sure that I'd have never realized that if Heather Tom were still playing Victoria, and I have to say, I try really hard not to be one of those bitter, people who can't accept recasts after years and years, but...seriously, Amelia Heinle is beyond bland and has completely defanged the formerly formidable Victoria and it makes me sad

You know what I'd sooner watch than the continuing shenanigans of Gloria & Company? Cats, by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Cats, running around a yard. The Andy Griffith Show. That show with Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammer. Local access television. Paint drying.

I am just spent. I am so sick of Gloria. I want, like, two weeks where she's not onscreen or being talked about. Or even five days without her wacky shenanigans and horrible wardrobe. I am really feeling like I'm overdosing on her, and it's not even the good kind of overdose where you at least get a good high first. I hate her so much that if she came onscreen espousing the awesomeness of Diet Coke, I'd stop drinking Diet Coke out of protest. Yeah, I mean business.

Felicia: This one right here is my favorite. It's bold, beautiful, edgy. It makes you wanna look like her.

Lesli Kay is a much better actress than I've ever given her credit for, because she was able to say that line without visibly grimacing. I could tell she was grimacing on the inside, though.

I don't really get Felicia joining Adam in a scheme to break up Nick and Phyllis. Mostly because I don't get the appeal of Nick and Phyllis. I mean, Phyllis was awesome back in the day and she's beautiful, but what about her is so amazing that Adam is infatuated with her? And Nick just seems painfully dim sometimes (most of the time?). Felicia should go after someone with functioning brain cells, is all I'm saying.

I didn't think it could ever happen, but the Cane/Lily story has showed that it is possible to make something involving a hot Australian guy bore the audience to tears. Who knew that could even happen?

I just find the entire story to be completely dumb and not even a little bit engaging, which is sad, considering that we are talking about Dru and Neil's daughter getting pregnant by Jill and Philip's son. !!! How do you ass that up? It's been so poorly written and ill-conceived. I don't get why someone like Cane would be attracted to Lily; I find her gorgeous, but she's young and she seems to be even younger than she is. Abby was more polished than Lily can be, you know? And Neil being gung-ho about Lily having the baby and him being a grandfather is a little strange.

Why is David Chow still on this show? He's beyond boring and Vincent Irrizarry doesn't even seem to be TRYING anymore. I feel bad for Melody Thomas Scott that Victor's paired with a (-n allegedly) hot young girl and she has this boring waste of space.

Blerg. Is there anything interesting at all going on lately? Anything?

Comments

[Robyn]

I agree absolutely. When Heather Tom was playing Victoria she was my favorite character. Amelia Heinle is like wallpaper.

Scratch that. I just got wallpaper recently and it is way more interesting than Amelia.

[Cate]

Eric Braeden is also the guy that said "God Bless Eric Braeden" at the 2005 Daytime Emmy's when he was supposed to be giving a tribute to Bill Bell. Kind off shows you what's on his mind most of the time...himself!!

[KLe]

This week's How I Met Your Mother was fabulous. Who knew that I'd enjoy anything involving Dawson Leery?

[Goddess]

What's with all the New Age bullshit lately? I feel like I'm watching an episode of "My Name is Jana."

[Gene]

I so agree that the show is so boring that I turn it off and switch to AMC. U know it is sad when I watching AMC than Y&R and is more interesting than this show. what the hell is the writers think that we are entertain with this crap on here. I just wish they get rid of some of these terrible actors and get this show back interesting again.

[BOTR]

Cane/Lily/Baby: I don't know about anyone else, but I find it SO obvious that she's going to have a miscarriage. She only found out three (show) weeks ago and there has been so much focus on it already; there's no way that she's going to carry this baby full-term

[kate]

HT as Victoria 4EVA!!!!!
LOL.
I am terrible bitter and still cannot get over it! Bring her back.

And can Lesli Kay please be on Y&R forever? I think she has more airtime on Y&R this month that the last year on BB!

[Lauren]

HIMYM rocked. I watched it twice.

Lily is dragging cane down. What a mismatched pairing. I'm wondering if this pregnancy crap is just a way to add drama to a boring couple.

[lynne]

After the disaster that is AMC, I am liking most of Y&R. I even thought some of the recent scenes of Lily and Cane were sweet. But what is with Neil just assuming he should raise her kid?? Jeez, she's not 12. Much younger women have successfully raised kids single-handedly. Neil needs to chill.

Now that Gloria has toned it down a bit, I'm liking her story better. Not a lot, but better. I'm over Alastair.

Victor is gross, Sabrina is such a plot device and David Chow REALLY needs to go back to AMC (not that I watch that anymore).

I hate Phyllis. Hate her. She reminds me of this girl at my high school who screwed every guy on every sports team, went away to BYU to college and came back and told everyone she was now a VIRGIN. Phyl used to be bad-ass. Now she's just a virgin. I hope Adam seduces her. I am loving to hate him.

And that Felicia chick? I like her! She has hot chemistry with Nick. He grins so BIG at her!

Victoria oops I fell asleep while writing about her.

I'm starting to really like Jack and Sharon.

Well, Y&R is far from perfect, but I still prefer it to AMC.

[Sue]

I get a big kick out of your wise-ass comments, I truly do, but something is wrong with your vision I think....if Jack is "dreamy" and you can't see why someone would want to hook up with Nick!!?
Jack is the complete opposite of dreamy, sorry, and Nick is hot!
It's interesting too how Nick was Mr. Perpetually Unhappy when he was married to Sharon, I hardly ever saw him crack a smile back then, and it must have made a big difference, because I never paid much attention to him or how hot he was....but since they hooked Nick up with Phyllis, he is always smiling and happy-go-lucky!! And seeing that face light up makes a huge difference in how attractive he seems.
Side note: I watch B&B and Heather Tom's character just got shot....wouldn't it be awesome if she died on that show and they brought her back to Y&R?

[Mallory]

Hee! Sue, my thing with Peter Bergman is completely irrational. I just heart him (also, a good part of his dreaminess is his voice. Siiiiiigh). Josh Morrow is super handsome, but Nick seems...I don't know, so...dim. He has a pronounced case of the duh face most times.

I am so glad to see other HIMYM fans! I think we can all agree that Monday's episode was legen--wait for it--dary.

[Timepass]

I so agree with y'all. Y&R is boring and I am so disappointed in the new HW|

Not one story, I am looking for to watch, not one. I had a lot of record program and was wondering what I wanted to watch and when I saw Y&R my brain went blank, not one story I am interested in!

I only see some filler that are funny, like Jana and the Baldwin brother, so is Amber and Daniel, btw Daniel is interesting who would have thought? He was so bland with Lily. It is surely the Lily side effect, because Cane became boring as well!

No wonder the rating are tanking, this version of Y&R is boring like hell.

Bring back the real Phyllis, the scheming one, not that boring pod one. Let her decide to have Jack back and let the fun begin!

[Heidi]

I agree that Y&R isn't very interesting lately. I'm so disappointed, too. After the strike was over with and LML got fired, I had high hopes that the new regime would get this show back on track again.

Unfortunately, it's still a mess. We're stuck with miscast actresses like Tammin Suresucks (Aussileen), Amelia Heinle (faux-Victoria), and Vail Bloom (Heather Stevens). I'm sick of the unending focus on the Quad - Jack/Sharon/Nick/Phyllis - Gloria Bardwell, and Lily and Cane. Victor and Sabrina are vomitrocious, Allistair is just plain ridiculous, Michael and Lauren can only talk about Gloria and her latest antics and have no storyline of their own, and why don't Jess Walton and Doug Davidson have more airtime? These are just a handful of the things that are wrong with the show. The only bright spot for me has been the addition of Adam; I sincerely hope that TPTB don't screw this up.

TPTB have a long way to go to get this show back on track but they could start by getting Victoria Rowell back as Dru, Adrianne Leon as Colleen, Eileen Davidson as Ashley, Heather Tom as Victoria and recast Heather Stevens. Simultaneously, they need to write more compelling, character-driven storylines. We're bored!

[Y&R Watcher]

I've been trying to give Amelia some time to really bring Victoria back to her roots of Heather Tom but she's just not doing it. I wish the Bells would take the time out and decide to do a swap of actresses on their shows. Have Amelia as Katie and Heather back on Y&R. AH's Victoria just makes you wonder if she's a pod Victoria. In regards to Lily Y&R did a dis-service in firing Devetta Sherwood, I bet she playing opposite Daniel G would be smoking hot and have more of a fanbase.