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« Um, The "Madness" Part is Right on the Money... | Main | I Know I Called You a Piece of Crap Excuse for a Soap Opera, and All That »

May 11, 2008

General Hospital Week in Review

BREAKING AND TOTALLY ORIGINAL NEWS:  Last week Jason Morgan killed someone, allegedly heroically!  Specifically, to protect a poor defenseless woman who was totally dependent upon his ability to blow someone's brains out!

It was groundbreaking television.


I was going to start with a list of the things I liked on GH last week, under the theory that it wouldn't take much space.  But written out the list is kind of lengthy.  What does this mean?  Surely not that the show is improving.  Anyway, stuff I liked:

  • Drunk Luke and Anna.  Yes, Anna is being kind of insane about becoming a grandmother, and her constant references to super-spy-dom are a bit tiring, but she is better than 90% of the rest of this show right now.  And Tony Geary and Finola Hughes being goofy together is a little slice of soap heaven.
  • Laura Wright's performance as a grieving mother.  I hate Carly, and I swore I wouldn't give the writers any credit for a story kicked off by having a 12-year-old get shot in the head, but Wright is kicking ass in these scenes. 
  • Steve Burton's portrayal of a regretful Jason.  Of course, the fact that the writers will not alter Jason's behavior at all as a result of his "revelations" about the violence he brought to Michael's life of course is not part of the "like" column.  If I had a "makes me want to become a hitman so I can kill people for sport" column, it would top that.
  • Luke and Nikolas discussing lost love and how to move on, after Nikolas' surgery.  There are not nearly enough quiet scenes like that on this show.
  • Morgan trying to get Michael to play video games (you know, in that "I 'like' having my heart ripped out" kind of way).
  • Emily finally getting Really Dead.  I even found her final scene in the park, and the engagement ring touch, charming.  I don't know what's wrong with me; maybe a brain tumor.
  • Maxie.  Even sharing almost all her scenes with Spinelli and a gun-toting Jason doesn't ruin her charm.
  • The fact that Lulu wasn't on as much.  Poor Julie Marie Berman, saddled with such an odious character and wardrobe all at once.  How does she go on?

Now for the suckage:

  • Poor Kimberly McCullough, trapped in that hideous blue dress for a week.  The girl cannot catch a break.  Her bangs and color have finally grown out into a most adorable style, so of course now they have to dress her in upholstery remnants.  Thank god she gets to be in the vicinity of Jason Thompson's hotness.  I hope that consoles her.
  • Where the hell was Nikolas' family while he was having brain surgery?  I swear, the writers cannot remember week to week who is related to whom.  And couldn't Monica at least have popped in while on her rounds?  Or is there a weekly Quartermaine quota [of...one] that can't be exceeded?
  • Contrary to popular belief, I am not a total hater of all things mob-related on GH.  I just hate that they've eaten the show, and that the mobsters became the good guys.  Anyway, I thought Maurice Benard used to bring a lot of interesting layers to Sonny, and I really enjoyed some of his relationships (Brenda!).  However, times have changed.  I don't think I've seen anything as unconvincing as Sonny "crying" at Michael's bedside since Tiffani on the first season of Top Chef kept telling the camera she was really a nice person.  (Related note:  Bless you, Bravo marathons.)
  • Robin: Let me describe to you the first time that I met Patrick. He was having sex with a nurse on top of an operating table in this hospital in Atlanta where he did his residency. That happened in Atlanta?  I hadn't remembered that.  Regardless, I'm getting a little tired of the writers using Robin's dialogue to remind us all of what a player Patrick is, and how he's supposedly terrible husband material.  Dudes, you decided to make him the father of the child of an HIV-positive character that we all watched grow up.  Dial back the vilification a notch, 'kay?
  • You guys, Anthony is forcing Lulu to date Johnny.  This could be a totally interesting and engrossing storyline for you to watch, if you weren't watching last year when Scott forced Lulu to date Logan.  No, wait, it couldn't.  Because if you've only been watching for less than a year, you fucking hate Lulu, and I don't blame you.  2006 Lulu, come back.  All is forgiven, even the Dillon stuff.
  • Jerry: Oh come on Alexis, can I have a little redemption here? Can't a man, you know, change for the better?  Come on.  It's such a shame to let all this potential go to waste, don't you think? Agreed on that last sentence, but dear writers, are you aware you haven't actually written a redemption arc for Jerry yet?  I don't mean to be critical -- it's just a reminder!  Like, maybe you forgot to do it but think that you did.  Similar to how you think you've shown Carly to be a wonderful mother with great instincts, Sonny to be a devoted father and upstanding mobster, and Lulu to be worthy of every guy in town's adoration?
  • How many Herve Leger dresses does Claudia own?  And if she can afford those (to wear to meetings on the docks, as you do), why were her shoes only Nina and Nine West?
  • This is May sweeps, seriously?  Much as I didn't want yet another copycat "crazy criminal wreaks major havoc" story, is this really all we get this time around?  Not even a single makeshift surgery performed with fishing line?  Unacceptable.


Wow, can't believe that I am the first post. Weird. Anyway, I completely agree with the scene where Sonny is crying (not really at all) to Michael in the hospital with all his grief and regret, I will live with the regret, blah, blah, blah but let's put you in a home where I don't have to look at you and I can have sex with Kate, Claudia and (man, this made me absolutely SICK TO MY STOMACH that according to Soap Opera Digest Sonny and Carly have sex -not for a F*g damn minute would this happen). I couldn't even believe this was the same man who had the most amazing love affair with Brenda, in anguish left her at the alter in the rain and had Jason tell her which sent her into a total breakdown which eventually Jax totally took care of her and that whole story came about as a sweet love story (which was awesome). And in the past, Sonny also lost his heart and showed u his love with the Stone story, seemed to really mourn Carly (Tamara B.) when she "disappeared" and they had the funeral that she walked in on. Oh, and he already "lost" Michael once because of his activities with Faith and the dead swamp Michael picture (never mention by ANYONE). BTW I really think Tamara B. should have won an emmy for that whole story...Anyway, Sonny really showed his love with Robin after Stone's death. All he did with Michael was some weird chuffing noise. No tears, no remorse, really. He pretended but it really was emotionless. Bernard needs a good long vacation for at least ten years. Yada, Yada, Yada, I know he IS the show according to his "hopefully" babbydaddy Guza however, his acting of remorse was so much better with Tamara B. in any situation. He didn't really deserve a nomination to the Daytime Award Emmys this year at all. I'm sad that my soap that I have been invested in (OMG I'm actually sayintg his out loud and how long) since back in the good old days of the Ice Princess, Faison, gosh, Blackie, L & L Recording (and Ned in black plether/leather) when Lulu was sick and Luke met Nicholas for the first time and found out his parentage, Georgie being born under a table at Outback, Jason waking up and no longer a Quartermaine, Mary Mae, Robert Scorpio, Mac when he wasn't an inept cop, all the Anger Boy scenes with ?Talbert?t. Magic. I did, however really wildly LOVE Nicholas asking advice from Luke before he had his knee therapy, how Luke lived the fresh hell that was his life without his one and only true love (oh, dear god, Guza are you listening?!?) This must have been when "Awesome Writer" showed how over the years since Nick came on the scene and Luke has really accepted and, in his heart, taken Nicholas as his own for Laura, LuLu and Lucky's sake. Man, I can't even remember the rant but I am really sad for the crapfest this show has become. Most of the time I skip through half the show on soapnet. It may not mean an end to world hunger, but, damn, it is sad for such a large chunk of my life to by F'd by the current "writing" staff. Will Guza ever die and btw, will the beginning of the Soap ever change? Guza and his little boy's club crushes. How much can it really cost with print shop and all the rest of the programs out there to, I don't know, add women, actual real men and women on the show....I mean, really. Guza, how hard can that be? Man, I HATE YOU with every fiber in my being, "Mr. Guza".

Fail to see how Robin pointing out the truth about her history and past with Patrick (geography aside) from her POV is vilification. She doesn't have faith in him, he's not made any promises about being there for her or the child, and he's been acting like a douchebag for months (hotness aside), with intermittent occurences of decency, interrupted by douchitude. If she'd said she wanted to marry him, I'd have wanted them to perform a psych consult. But I'm well ready to move past the Peter Pan grows up, faces his daddy issues and decides he actually wants this kid, to finally get to a Robin POV that isn't centered on Patrick, and maybe - I don't know - they could mention HIV again?

Wake me when there's any movement at all with this story.

About that clip:
1)Thanks. I'd never seen when Robin and Patrick first met and ... wait, is that a satin pink ascot tied around Robin's neck? ?!?
2)Carly, shutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!. "I'm Jason Morgan's best friend (scowl), and I want you to save him (scowl)."..."Get out and let me save Jason (scowl). Gah! One note much?
3)Riiiiick! [/Amy Poehler] If only you had sung Jessie's Girl. It would've made up for all the sad and pitiful hours I've waisted with this show. Well, it would've made things a bit more tolerable, at least.

I could possibly move Jason's remourse over Michael to my Like category if it wasn't for him not doing a darn thing to change in the light of this revelaion. Or if this whole "Jason realizes he can't protect everyone" is like the fifth time we've had this storyline.

My like column is way smaller. My expectations are so freaking low...Guza actually giving Lucky a reason to not be on screen was about it. I was fully prepared for two weeks of no Lucky with no mention as to where he was or what he was doing.

Thank you for confirming that I'm not nuts but that Anna and Luke were indeed the best part of watching GH last week. Oh and Patrick is so right Anna is Hot!

As always Becca you were brill. I agree with everything of course, anyone who doesn't must be crazy...right? I found that Robin and Patrick clip on youtube a few weekends ago in a Robin and Patrick reminiscence fever and never realized THAT was their first meeting. No wonder they keep rubbing it in that Patrick's a player, but again, enough is enough, can't they get through their issues already and tell a socially relevant story line? Grey's Anatomy did it better in one episode than GH has in the weeks (months?) we've known about Robin being pregnant.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sonny wasn't crying, he was constipated.

My patience is up with Robin nagging about Patrick and his ways. Hello writers- didn't Robin CHASE him after all? She should look in the mirror and have ANY conversation about Patrick with herself as it's her fault anyway.

Sonny - ok I'm going to duck under the table after I post this - but I HATE this character. Does Maurice stumble through his lines because that's the character or becuase he cannot remember them? I take it as the latter.

Carly as the grieving mother is awesome. Having watch two of my close friends lose their children in accidents -it's totally the way a parent would act. Doesn't mean I like the character, the acting though is great.

Spinelli - can we all PLEASE take up a collection and send it to GH so Spinelli can PLEASE take English as a second language class? PRETTY PLEASE - my $5.00 is in the kitty. The way he talks really says to me "us writers think our viewers are idiots".

General Hospital being a mob show is something I just don't get. I did take a haitus after college from GH so I'm not all that sure when it turned into a mob show but seriously - it can go back to being a Hospital show anytime. Really - it'll be ok.

I used to rag about Grey's but quite honestly - it's gotten a whole lot better - the GH writers now need to take their asses down the hall and LEARN from Grey's what it is like to listen to the viewers and get their collective asses out of their heads and write something tolerable. Even if they only listen to a 1/3 of what is said - it'll be an improvement.

"The way he talks really says to me 'us writers think our viewers are idiots'."

CHIgirl, is that the ONLY indication that makes you think the writers think we're idiots? ;) I could start with No Family Members at Nik's 10-Minute Brain Surgery and work my way down to Jerry the Lovable Ex-Sociopath Scamp for my list!

Well, there were very few things I enjoyed about General Hospital this week. First, I was in awe of the copious amounts of truth Alexis put on Jason. There was this one line, when Diane was defending Jason's actions as heroic, where Alexis said, "He is a hit man, Diane. He's a professional killer. He perpetrates the very culture of violence that got Michael shot in the first place." There was so much awesomeness in that one statement, it was incredible. It was so incredible that it almost made me forgive Alexis for not being there when her nephew was having potentially life-threatening brain surgery. Where was Nikolas's family, exactly? Oh, that's right: at the birthday party of a child none of them are actually related to (that means you, Lulu.) I personally loved Nikolas and Emily's last scenes. They made me cry. I am a little confused as to the whole engagement ring thing, though. What does it mean? Lastly, I absolutely loved the interaction between Nikolas and Luke, even though I was appalled that the only person who came to visit Nikolas after his surgery was a man who has hated him for years. Regardless, I loved the fact that the writers recognized the parallels in their situations and made that scene happen. Other than that, May sweeps has been about as interesting as watching paint dry.

this show stinks. oltl is blowing it away in terms of entertainment, story, character developement, roots, family history etc. did u see this week's promo. carson sex part 567384939392948367262829392390. more hoochie mama claudia and mikey coma. boring. while the oltl promo of the rex.adrianna wedding looks like it's gonna be off the hook. gh should be so proud

"I personally loved Nikolas and Emily's last scenes. They made me cry. I am a little confused as to the whole engagement ring thing, though. What does it mean? Lastly, I absolutely loved the interaction between Nikolas and Luke, even though I was appalled that the only person who came to visit Nikolas after his surgery was a man who has hated him for years. Regardless, I loved the fact that the writers recognized the parallels in their situations and made that scene happen."

Hillary, you and me? Likethis. :)

Man. As much as I cannot stand Carly, I started bawling during the scene where she trashed the room. It's been a long time since this show brought a real tear to my eye. Maybe when Stone died.

Beth - LOL! No, the way Spinelli talks isn't the only way I know the writers think us viewers are idiots... it's just the one way that fries my ass more than any other part of this God Forbidden tv show.

Wait a minute? Patrick being a giant douchey dickhead is ROBIN'S fault?! And SHE chased HIM? Um, as I recall it, there was an equal amount of chasing going on. And frankly, MY favorite part of last week was when Robin finally, FINALLY had some realization about the true nature of her relationship w/Patrick-mainly, that he wants her when it's convenient for him, and that, if the relationship is not about Patrick or what Patrick needs or how Patrick is feeling, then Patrick is not interested. I was, literally, on my feet, screaming, "YES! SHE'S AWAKE!" when she said, basically, that he used her to get through the HIV scare and then it was business as usual. They have UTTERLY DESTROYED the character of Patrick Drake, and there is nothing that anyone, not even the sweet, undeniably-hot Jason Thompson, OR the chemistry b/t he and Kimberly McCullough, can do to save it. And, judging by the ratings, which used to get a slight bump on the days w/Robin and Patrick interaction and now stay flat no matter what, MANY agree w/me.

I mean, really, what is there to watch or hope for these days? The mob still gets the majority of the show, the vets have been reduced to sad caricatures of their former selves, the only thing worth watching now is a s/l involving SPINELLI, for the love of all that is holy, as a romantic lead w/my girl, Maxie, which is just ALL KINDS OF WRONG, what could have been a groundbreaking story that would lead to some actual growth for some characters that DESPERATELY need revamping is just another "kills for revenge b/c he is the most noble hero to ever be a noble hero" s/l, and the one decent, original s/l they had going, the HIV pregnancy, has now turned into a sad farce wherein a legacy character is continually trashed to prop her (by comparison) newbie love interest who is also a GIANT DICKHEAD, while HIV is barely even mentioned, and the TRUE emotional beats of the s/l are ignored in favor of endless MONTHS of Dr. IT'SALLABOUTMEMEME! vacillating about whether or not he wants to be a father. Wake me when it becomes about the HIV positive PREGNANT WOMAN, damnit. Or at least when Robin has something to do other than get upset over his douchery or prop his "brilliance" (truly, I threw up in my mouth when she had to do that shit again yesterday-and I would swear I saw Kimberly roll her eyes before she walked out of that scene, not that I blame her AT ALL).

I hate this fucking show.

I don't see what the problem is about Michael's coma scenes -- it's the best acting he's done in years! As much as I feel for Carly's sitch, I still cannot stand the character, and thus am bored at her crying the same thing over and over. But she does have a point: WTF was Jax doing at Kate's when Carly was gonna send Coma-boy away? That doesn't sound like something Jax would do -- it sounds like a plot device to justify the s-e-x between Carly and Sonny.

Okay, I happen to like "Jerry." I started watching GH during the hostage story, and the actor totally had me mesmerized. I hate the way they are writing the character, and I agree, some kind of redemption needs to take place and soon, but I think the actor is worth hanging onto.

I'm getting a little sick of Luke and Tracy on-again, off-again story. Those two need to team up on the same side and kick some mob ass.

To be fair to Monica, she couldn't check in on Nik, they banished sentenced her a to rehab! And please lighten up in Spinelli, he's at least entertaining, more then Sonny 'you betrayed me' Corinthos!

Jason Thompson is hotness personified, and can actually act. Why, why, WHY do the writers keep trying to totally assassinate his character? I say "try" because the combinatinon of Jason's charm, his hotnesss, and the occasional Awesome Writer scene smuggled out of the dungeon of ABC still keep Patrick viable. Barely.

I don't get it. Patrick could be the best hero in daytime, and instead, he gets to be a jackass.

Scrubs were the only reason I watched GH, but I finding myself not even making the effort to watch the shows I taped. I watched today, and was treated to another round of "Patrick thinks Anna is hot". Just..ugh.

Patrick being an ass is NOT Robin's fault - Robin dating an ass is, however, HER fault. She can whine all she wants about what an ass he is - the bottom line is - she chased him, cornered him, let him "use" her during his HIV scare and really let's all be honest - went to his house after the funeral. For her to know rant and rave about how Patrick is so unreasonable because, for the love of GOD, he was honest about not wanting to be her "baby's daddy" is silly.

As the ole' saying goes - becareful what you wish for - you may very well get it.

When did she chase and corner him? She did go to his house after the funeral, granted-but, then, HE is the one who kept the broken condom secret, thereby preventing her from taking the Morning After Pill, or at least having the opportunity to decide if that's what she wanted to do. So, really, he has no one to blame but himself for the fact that he's the "baby daddy" now.

And I don't think she's ranting and raving b/c he "didn't want to be her babydaddy"-I think it's b/c he can't make up his gd mind about what the effing hell he wants re: this kid and keeps jerking her around! He didn't want to be a father-she didn't tell him about the baby. Then she was a heinous bitch for doing that. So she told him the truth. Now he feels trapped and upset that the good ol' days of hopping from bed to bed are over-which I do not get anyway, as she has told him, practically in 4 damn languages, that this baby doesn't have to change his life in anyway. But when she says THAT, then she's "pushing him away" and "not letting him in". I think THAT is why she's ranting and raving.

But we agree on 2 points-a)it's HER fault for continuing to date the-douchebag-formerly-known-as-Patrick, and I can't really make any excuses for her in that regard other than, after years of the shit she's been through, she's had a mental break? Other than that, I got nothing, and b)it's also HER fault for letting him use her during the HIV scare-I think it was written as she knew what he was going through and tried to give him the benefit of the doubt then, finally, came to believe he had fallen in love w/her as she clearly was w/him-but it made her look supremely stupid, just the same. However, I think her dialogue, wherein she had realization about the fact that she was used and played, w/Anna went a long way to rectifying that-for ME, anyway.

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