General Hospital Week in Review

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I had predicted that General Hospital would win the best drama series Emmy, pretty much since the nominations came out.  (You can never go wrong underestimating the taste and intellect of award show voters!)  That may be why I haven't gone completely postal about it.  I'm having a reasonable person's reaction, by pretending it didn't happen.  Wait, that's not true, the reasonable person doesn't even watch the Daytime Emmys.  So, I guess I'm having as reasonable a reaction as I can to something as inexplicable as this terrible show being named the best in daytime.  That being said, this Week in Review is going to focus (mostly) on the things that didn't suck last week.  (I know what you're thinking -- cool, quick read!)  There were no serious felonies or misogynistic moments, so it was better than many weeks.  And sure, there was at least one partial character assassination (Alexis -- she and Jerry are getting a separate post, y'all), but nothing that made me get super ragey or yelly.  There will be lots of that coming up, though, so I need to rest up.

Lest you think I've gone soft, or started smoking the truly good stuff that Emmy voters obviously do, I have not forgotten that this show often seems like the only thing it is excellent at is being terrible.  I cannot improve on Mallory's summary of the last year's GH abominations when the nominations were first announced, so I'm going to be lazy and just quote her:

But that show seems downright brilliant compared to General Hospital, which I have come to conclude is not meant to be entertainment but, rather, serves merely as a vehicle for the powers-that-be to give the finger to their actors, their audience, people who have heard of General Hospital, people who work at hospitals and the person who invented the television. Because the fact that this EFFING SHOW was rewarded with a chance to be called Outstanding Daytime Drama in a year that brought us the firing of Stuart Damon and his subsequent humiliation via tracksuits, the intelligence insulting reveal that James Craig is Jerry Jacks, two ridiculous trials that showed us exactly how little the writers care about logic or the real world, ongoing blatant disrespect of Genie Francis, the rape of a character being played as him breaking his marriage vows in a hilarious way, the out of nowhere obsession Robin had with having a child, the violent murder of Emily Quartermaine, Emily's happy ghost, obvious rewrites of stories that weren't good to start with, the violent murder of Georgie Jones, a shitty spinoff and Steve Burton's hair, amongst other atrocities, is so unspeakably wrong that I don't even know how to process it.

Denial is how I'm processing the win, clearly.  Denial.

Lucky and Sam are adorable together.  If you had told me a year ago that I'd be typing that, I would have looked at you like you thought General Hospital was the best soap on the air.  But it's true, and their Mexican adventure was easily the highlight of the week.

"Lucky, it's called cleavage, and it's the best weapon we've got."  Words to live by, girlfriend.  (Aw, and that reminds me, Sam's delight at Lucky calling her his girlfriend was cute.)

They're even cute camping.  Camping!  I don't think I've found camping adorable since The Parent Trap, and I'm pretty sure that was only because it was mixed with gaslighting the bitchy potential stepmom.

Plus, Sam was in full makeup and wore gigantic 4" wood-heeled sandals throughout the camping scenes!  So soapy.

Now that they're back in Port Charles, I just hope Sam and Lucky remain entertaining.  Almost nobody else does, but you know, hope springs eternal.

There was one off moment:

Sam: ...I think it must be the jet lag.
Lucky:  No no no -- we didn't change time zones.

Really?  Between Mexico and New York?  Yes, you did.

This is the kind of thing I don't get.  It's summer.  Does GH not have at least one intern?  Who can operate that really tricky technology known as Google?  College students will do literally anything for money, and they'll even do most of it for free!  I don't understand.  Is there no quality control at all on the writing of this show?  Can Awesome Writer not be assigned to proofreading?   S/he gets little else to do.

Oh, right, positive.  I'm supposed to be positive.  Um...Maxie wore a cute outfit!

Seriously, Maxie's little yellow cotton suit was perfection.  They are doing such a good job making her actually fashionable, unlike in the past.

It helps that Kirsten Storms really is looking healthier lately. She's still very thin, but she no longer appears to be on the verge of collapse.  And she and Jason Cook were crazily good-looking together at the Emmys, so I find myself actually optimistic about his character's addition to the canvas (this coming week, I think?), particularly when he's a doctor and therefore hopefully totally removed from the black hole of suck that is the mob universe.  I know I just said I was optimistic about GH.  Don't worry, it's not the beginning of a trend, or anything.

While we're on the subject of Maxie, she and Johnny were totally charming in their conversation on the bridge this week.  (Because I'm taking this positivity out for a spin, I will not bitch about the fact that Maxie revealed that Georgie got a scholarship for a foreign exchange program in Florence, and how it's too bad Bob Guza killed her off instead of just writing her off the canvas to Italy.)  Anyway:  Kirsten Storms and Brandon Barash have good chemistry, and if only the writers hadn't decided to make Maxie an actual hooker in this scenario, I might be looking forward to them having more scenes together.

On the topic of Brandon Barash and chemistry, I know I said a few weeks ago that he and Julie Marie Berman appeared to be physically repulsed by each other, but they've gotten much better. 

Maybe I was just put off by them repeatedly hooking up in a gardening shed.  Or by how horribly awful the character of Lulu has become (I dream of new methods of shin-kicking to use on her).  Whatever, they're improving, which is not something that typically happens on this show, so I salute them.  The actors.  Not the characters.  Because truly, Lulu is evil.

I know Max's accidental proposal to Diane with the ring Sonny bought for Kate (which, BTW: vomit) is a ripoff of Friends, and not even from one of the really good years, but I like this storyline.

Hear me out!  I really like that they aren't making this two all schmoopy, true love forever and so forth.  They're just a couple of adults who enjoy each other's company...and stuff.  Which is a fine thing, and something often absent in soapland.

Okay, let me be honest:  Mostly I liked the accidental proposal because it really annoyed Sonny, and Sonny being annoyed and/or upstaged are among the only things I enjoy watching happen to that character. 

If you ignore the fact that this effing show is hardly addressing HIV at all during the first HIV+ pregnancy storyline in daytime history, and if you set aside the fact that the mother- and father-to-be have not had a new conversation since at least the last time Sonny and Carly were married, Robin and Patrick's scenes last week were super adorable.  (And I am totally willing to ignore and set aside that stuff, in case you were wondering.  For now.)

Dr. Lee ordered Robin to bed rest, and despite the fact that Dr. Lee is an ob-gyn who can't even diagnose pregnancy, Robin listened to her.  And so did brain surgeon Patrick.  Patrick, in fact, was hotly attentive.

And hotly...hot.

But Mac -- whom I love otherwise, don't get me wrong -- got all up in their business and decided that Patrick is an oversexed adolescent who can't take care of Robin

so he hired Epiphany to "help."

To which Patrick hotly responded with hot indignation.

Robin's reaction to Epiphany barreling through the door at full volume was 1) awesome

and 2) almost exactly the one Mallory has every time her nemesis Epiphany appears on screen.  (Side note:  Sonja Eddy seems so cool, as confirmed by her interview on the Emmy red carpet, so why must they write Epiphany so irritatingly?)

Patrick and Robin eventually got some time to themselves, and Patrick hotly proposed cohabitation.

To which Robin reacted thusly:

It may be that I've just finally lost track of all their angsty moments (perhaps because they've been replayed in different outfits approximately 9000 times), but they already lived together once, right?  And they've talked about being together after the baby is born?  So why is this funny/shocking?  I don't understand. 

Let me just fast-forward to the point where Patrick was hotly handcuffed.

Mac arrested Patrick.  For...something/nothing.  And Robin reacted by getting out of bed with Maxie's help, appearing at the police station in a wheelchair to try to talk some sense into her uncle.  These effing writers.  Why must they make Mac an idiot?

Oh, right, he's a cop.  I forgot the rules for a second!

Something very strange has happened recently:  I did a 180 on the returns of both the former Carlys.  Ava on Days and Claudia on GH have really grown on me.  With Ava, it's been happening for a while.  But with Claudia, it's very recent.  I think she became tolerable when she kissed Nikolas.  That had some magical effect.  I started liking Emily again when she got back together with Nikolas after that horrendous Sonny romance, too.  Why did I always hate Courtney so much, then?

Anyway, I have not enjoyed Sarah Brown more this go-around than I did in her scenes with Spinelli last week.  Yes, Spinelli.  I know, I'm confused too.

She even smiled!  And laughed!  I didn't know Claudia Zacchara could do those things, with anyone other than her "brother."

And then you add Jason into the mix, and it was even better.  (I KNOW; I don't know what's happened to me.)

Sarah Brown and Steve Burton have always had great chemistry, and even with her in a new role there's still a spark.  Since this is an allegedly positive post, I won't mention how totally stupid the whole quarantine story is, how the writers still seem to have no idea who Claudia is or what they're going to do with her, or how awful the little "joke" about that snake oil juice that Burton sells was.

I guess I'm just happy to see Jason potentially paired with someone who's already in the mob.  One less Port Charles woman to get ruined by a mafia coupling.

I am going to consider this closing on a positive note:  I love this screencap.

I can't decide if it's better to think of it like a poster for one of those 50s schlock-horror movies (Biker Chicks and Alien Body Snatchers!), or if it's the moment at which Sarah Brown realized just what the hell she'd gotten herself into with signing back onto this show.

Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason.

Comments

[midnight_tiptoes]

awesome....first to comment? lets see...Lucky and Sam in Mexico was so fun. It was nice to see them away from the mob. Sam minus Jason/Mob, plus really hot good cop equals a great couple, IMO.

I dont care how hot patrick is, him and robin annoy me. I'm tired of him be thrown under the bus. And I'm tired of seeing a smug robin.

[Marianne]

Sorry, I loved Mac. Hello, one of my daughters hooks up w/a guy like Patrick-AGAIN, AFTER she's seen who he can REALLY be, I'm going to bitch the fit to end all fits ever bitched in the history of bitchfits. Mac is reacting like a parent-maybe a parent who has had a little too much coffee, but a parent nonetheless. Unlike Anna or Robert who....well, it's best we don't speak of them, as it would reflect badly on my employee evaluation if I smashed my work computer.

The reason Robin reacted w/amusement was b/c of the fact that, summarizing as briefly as possible (I mean normal person-brief, not Marianne-brief): the first time he didn't want her to move in, then begged her to move in, then ran off to Vegas 2.5 seconds later, then begged her to move back in after she was shot and so on and so forth, and she wouldn't b/c she still possesses a small amount of common sense, so he kept asking and saying he'd wait however long and blah-de-blah blah blah, until he honed in like a horny heat-seeking missile w/very bad taste on the 3 Amighos, then the Student Slut, etc, etc, then he engaged in assorted assholitude while screaming at the top of his lungs NO BABIES EVER! and DON'T FENCE ME IN, WOMAN! and she in some questionable baby-related behavior, then they broke up allegedly over the baby issue (but I maintain it had at least as much to do w/his predilection for trying to, you know, sleep w/other women while they were together), then she became embroiled in looking for a babydaddy and he became involved in a, um...relationship?..w/the thing that desecrated his hotness, then he engaged in more assholitude and she took more of his shit, then they hooked up for the ONS wherein she became pregnant, then he took up w/the Black Hole of Chemistry and Talent again, so she decided to lie about the paternity, then he figured it out, and he's been sitting on the fence trying to make up his damned mind about it ever since. WHEW.

So, anyway, ALLLLLL of that is why she thought it was hilariously funny that he thought they should be a family-probably b/c he changed his tune, ONCE AGAIN, during crisis time (essentially, someone must die-Emily, Georgie-or Robin must almost die/be injured horribly-MC, baby collapse-for him to realize that he does, in fact, love her....until he forgets again), and she knows that he might change it back in the time it takes her to make one of her many trips to the bathroom. I actually thought her reaction to his suggestion was the most sensible one she's had to Patrick since oh, about EARLY 2007.

And I'm sorry some feel that Patrick is "be thrown under the bus", but Robin has been for....well, pretty much since they met. Maybe it's finally his turn?

[Beth R.]

Since we're attempting to be positive...i'll say my highlight of the week was the Awesome Writer allowing Lucky to say he actually DOES have a good relationship with his father and he was really close to Luke when he was younger. I've been under the impression the show likes to pretend Lucky is NOT a Spencer nine times out of ten so allow Lucky to say "hey wait a minute...I do have good relationship with my father." was good for me.

Otherwise I'm not going to comment cause I'll break this whole positivity thing we're trying....

ALthough I'll call that "Emmy" two things.. a "Schmemmy." and "Gimmicked".

[tanya]

lucky/sam scenes were cute.

you are so back sliding on claudia...fight it, fight it...

not seeing that chemistry with lulu and johnny....nope have yet to see anything there. and do agree on the maxie/johnny - but then again maxie has chemistry with everyone. not really looking forward to shawnD joining unless he has grown...cause the whole issue i had with belle/shawn was him. not even sure the "pretty" of him in a tux with a beard can change that.

not wanting to bust your bubble - but the last time a new doctor arrived at GH - he turned out to be a SNIPER. did not think that was a course at medical school.

though i actually to like ava on days...but then again its TB - shes the bomb who can actually make john fun! as long as ava keeps john far far away from marlena.

[Fran]

Lucky and Sam are one of the few bright spots on the show.
I really cannot stop loving Maxie.
I adore my Scorpio Jones family. I loved Maxie uniting with Robin, then turning around and bitching out Patrick, I loved Robin totally getting where Mac was coming from but not letting him run her life, and I loved Mac being all overprotective. Because really, Patrick has been a waffling flake where Robin was concerned and if Mac, Maxie or Robin trusted him completely because today he decided he's ready, well they'd be idiots.
I don't know, dude just decided he wasn't going to abandon his child and now he wants Robin to jump and play happily family with him. I can't blame her for laughing.

[CHIgirl2112]

As a feminist - please be assured that I know EXACTLY what Patrick is (a lying, whoring, anti-commitment moron). But the other side of the feminist in me - the side that thinks women should stand up for themselves and be held accountable for their actions, is in a fury over Robin. Let's do the math ladies. Robin went to med school, interned, blah blah blah so she has to be about 27-30 years old??? Somewhere in that ballpark. Ok. The Robin taking back Patrick time after time (whether she admits it or not - she IS taking him back) - is an idiot.

If she was younger than 25 then it's ok - we are all dumb and young and make idiotic mistakes. But if you are rounin' the corner to 30 and still want to be with "bad" boys (other than in your fantasies), then quit the sniveling, look in the mirror - and have ANY conversation you want to have with yourself. Because as grown WOMEN - we DO have choices we can make and we KNOW better than to make most of them.

This being a soap opera though, and more importantly, GH - Robin will never become an intelligent woman, dump Patrick (and believe me - I like Patrick in my own little fantasies) - and will forever have this "beat the dead horse" conflict about their relationship. Which drives me more insane than Spinelli. And believe me - the character Spinelli makes my head hurt.

Anyway - now that GH won best series, I am now going to my therapist to help my withdrawals from this God awful soap because I simply cannot stop on my own. Because we all know it's only going to get worst. As if it could - but dumbass (Guza) will prove it can....

[Dandesun]

I hope you meant the original Parent Trap and not the Lindsay Lohan remake because otherwise... shame!!

[kld0096]

wow, this is the most I've ever disagreed with you.

I was with you on LuSam, Maxie, Scrubs, and Mac but then you hit Spin, Claumidia, and Jasshat. There were a couple good points in there but yeah I'm going to have to diverge completely from any enjoyment or positivity about it.

And really no mention of how nauseous Claudia's looooooooong physical description of demagogue Jason made you? Need I type out of the dialog about his eyes? Never mind how he is apparently 4-5 inches taller in Claudia's head than he actually is.

P.S. Mallory--your status of nemesis with one loud-mouthed, bitchy nurse is something we shall always share. Personally I was a little pissed at Robin for not throwing her out straight off.

[Free Ringtones]

wow .. where have I been living? IN a cave? How come I am only finding this blog today? This is just bloody awwww-sum!

[Mandy]

LuSam were all kinds of awesome. Same with Scrubs (right up until they started the living together conversation for the 80 millionth time). I am starting to like Claudia but I guarantee I will stop if they even hint at a romantic pairing with Jason. I am still waiting for Liason, damnit.

Becca, don't drink the kool-aid! Jolu do not have the slightest hint of chemistry. Maxie has chemistry with everyone; male or female. Lulu just sucks.

[Lexxy]

Love what wardrobe has done with Maxie. If only they could do that for more characters. LuSam was a real highlight for me as well. I found them refreshing, fun, and adorable. Speaking of adorable I also thought Johnny and Lulu were this week. IA about the chemistry getting better and that not usually happening. Maxie has chemistry with everyone and I am looking forward to JC's arrival more than I thought I would.

[kitzie]

I was going to comment on this awesomely positive blog, but my mind just flashed back to effin steaming hot James Scott from the previous post, and I forgot it. Sorry!

[donde]

Lucky and Sam were awesome. Their scenes were funny and sexy. GH needs to get back to basics and Lusam is a great start. The mob is old i would rather see a cop go on adventures and solve crimes with his girlfriend Sam by his side. For the 3 days Lucky and Sam were on were the best days of that entire week.

[Amy Busby]

So did I miss something with Patrick - not counting the supposedly "non-integrated" assholery of Night Shift?

My recollections ARE a bit vague as I have a propensity to get fast forward happen on Sonny-heavy days. All I remember of the previous Robin / Patrick relationship attemps were that they started off semi-casual since he was an immature player when he arrived on the scene. Not that there is anything wrong with that - he was young, hot, single, hot, a doctor, hot. You go boy - get your good time on.

So they ended up falling in love, he stopped all the Carly-sleeping craziness and she moved on - totally at her instigation even though he felt pressured. He rebelled since she had forced that on him, basically. He regretted it, realized the party days weren't all that he remembered and wanted her to move back in. Faux conflict ensued. Eventually they reunited (probably after the whole shooting thing) and Robin suddenly became baby crazy.

Another bit of GH misogyny - as women hit 30 all must become baby obsessed and began squeeking out the rugrats - preferrably sired by mob kingpins.

Patrick never lied to Robin. He was always a flirt, albeit one who adored Robin. But she has always been contemptuous, smug, and full of herself. Oh wait - I guess that is the definition of smug.

Didn't he first go out with Leyla after he and Robin broke up? Personally I'd worry about a guy who wasn't thrown by his girlfriend, especially his HIV positive one being so crazed for a baby about 1.2 seconds into the exclusive relationship.

Why hasn't anyone been emphasizing the fact that LOTS of people don't particularly want to be parents or consider themselves ready until the reality of an uncooming birth settles in on them? Of course Patrick is adjusting the the change in his life and he idea of the baby. Just because he didn't want one in the abstract doesn't necessarily mean he'd turn his back on a a child who happened to exist.

Just because Saint Robin was ready for a commitment and then ready for a child doesn't mean Patrick was. A relationship should be based on the needs / wants of both people - not be dictated by one.

On a different note I too loved Lucky & Sam and their Mexican adventure. More! More!

Why not create more spin offs - one for Lucky and Sam and Spinelli and Maxie involving a private eye business and Lucky as a cop still out having non-mob related adventure - with Luke and Tracy thrown in? And one for Alexis and Diane - female lawyers being witty and smart and engaged in various cases & misadventures. I'd even take a side order of a little Max with that. As long as there was no Sonny.

[Lauren]

Your guys' recaps (in screencap form) are soooooo much better than having to watch, listen or fast forward the show. Thank you.

However, positivity and General Hospital/All Soap Opera's do not mix. Put down the Kookaid, Becca...or give me some.

[Becky]

Amy Busby, love your whole post. Couldn't agree more.

I was thinking the same things.

But then I kept going back to the picture of Patrick in handcuffs and I got sidetracked. Then I was picturing both Patrick and Lucky handcuffed which sidetracked my mind further and I couldn't form coherent sentences.

[M]

Mmmm...handcuffed Patrick....mmmm.....handcuffed Patrick and Lucky.....mmmm....shirtless handcuffed Patrick and Lucky. Wait, sorry, what was I saying?!?

[Marianne]

Absolutely, he has the right to be freaked about fatherhood when he didn't want kids. In fact, his loud and vehement and repeated tirades about that fact are WHY Robin laughed in his face and why she would have been crazy not to.

And NS HAS been integrated into the mothership-Stacey, Curtis, the whole damn shebang. It counts now, like it or not, all of it.

And, sorry, Patrick was able to not flirt for the entire time he thought he might be infected with HIV-he didn't start again until he got negative results. So if it's such a part of his character that he can't control himself, why was he able to control it for the almost 8 months it took for the results to come back, other than that he's a sleazy bastard who used Robin to get through the HIV exposure?

He was all over the 3 bimbos in May, and Leyla by early July-LOOOONNNNGGG before the whole crap with Stacey or the negative pregnancy test happened. So you can't really chalk up his whoredom to her baby crazies.

And Robin wanted a child-Patrick did not. For her to NOT walk out that day would have been selfish, just as it would have been selfish for him to let her believe that he might want it someday. Absolutely, a relationship should be based on the wants and needs of both partners, and when one partner wants a REAL relationship and a child and the other does not, the only solution is for the relationship to end. So I can't understand how she wasn't taking his wants and needs in the relationship into account?

And Robin is FAR from being a saint. The difference between she and Patrick is that she's capable of admitting when she's wrong, apologizing for her mistakes, and attempting to do better. Patrick, however, can do none of those things-and, in fact, when HE screws up, he makes it Robin's or his dad's or the cafeteria lady at GH's fault.

[Chad]

Sonja Eddy seems so cool, as confirmed by her interview on the Emmy red carpet, so why must they write Epiphany so irritatingly?

I think the Powers That Be at GH just have a compulsive inability to write any member of a minority, from black women to male computer nerds, in a way that isn't utterly trite and stereotypical. With this mind, I'm now glad that they wrote Lucas off the show after "outing" him. If he was still on, by now he'd probably only exist to give fashion tips to Spinelli and make "Golden Girls" references to Robin (actually, the latter would be pretty funny).

[Sam]

I think my favorite part of the whole Spinelli/Claudia/Jason whatever, is that when Spinelli was drunk and crawling on the docks, viewers could clearly see he was dragging himself on a carpet. Oh man...

[Darcy]

Zzzzz.....snort....wha?...slept through the entire week. GenHo is soooo boring. Wake me when Guza Frons of Phelps are fired. ZZZzzzzz.

[Genevieve]

I absotely adored Lusam this week, so cute. and Jolu were simply fabulous this week, I think the chem between JMB and BB was at their best this week. everything else...bad!

[Genevieve]

I absotely adored Lusam this week, so cute. and Jolu were simply fabulous this week, I think the chem between JMB and BB was at their best this week. everything else...bad!

[samfan]

I adore Lusam. What a nice surprise to have a couple with such natural chemistry. Greg Vaughn has come "alive" on the screen working with Kelly Monaco. I sighed, laughed and thoroughly enjoyed all their scenes in Mexico and their heart to heart talk when they returned home. If TIIC pull them apart, I will be sooooo disappointed. As for Scrubs...OMG...if I hear the same conversation between them for much longer, I will blow my brains out. All signs are pointing to all kinds of craziness coming up with Carly and the baby drama AGAIN!