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« I Heart Schadenfreude | Main | Maybe He's A Really Big Charles Schulz Fan? »

July 15, 2008

It's Official: ABC Hates Scorpios

ABC/SOAPNet hates the fictional Scorpio family.  There is no other logical explanation for the minimal screentime given the talented portrayers of members of that clan, nor for this....thing:


I watch General Hospital every day.  Kimberly McCullough may not be on-screen nearly enough for my liking, but I am certain that when she is, she has neither a double chin nor a wonky eye.  And Tristan Rogers is not, as I recall from his five minutes of screentime a year or more ago, a reanimated corpse.  Why then, does this promotional tool, presumably designed to make people actually want to tune in (to a show that can't exactly rest on its storytelling laurels), convey the opposite impression on both counts?

Also -- and I can't believe I actually have to encourage SOAPNet to cater better to viewers' base instincts -- if you have Jason Thompson and Antonio Sabato Jr. as your two male leads on a show whose target demographic is straight women and probably gay men, you put them AT THE FRONT OF THE AD.  Hell, you make your ads just shot after shot of the two of them in various states of undress and/or Blue Steel poses.  They are hotness in stereo.  Turn up the volume, ABC!  Even you shouldn't be able to screw this up.


Why the HELL is Epiphany there?????

I think you're stretching it here! Both Tristan and Kimberly look fabulous. I thought I couldn't wait for the show last year but this year, with no Guza, I really CAN'T wait.

Epiphany looks like some fan photoshopped her in as an afterthought, and Robert appears to be just about to vomit. That Patrick, Jagger, (and to an extent Toussaint) look normal is truly testament to their handsomeness. Robin reminds me of the Mona Lisa.

Tristan Rogers looks...angry. Probably his promo shot was taken during his brief stint back on the mothership, when he found out Robert was being written as a non-existent, horrible, never-there father. WHICH HE IS NOT.

I don't think this really looks that bad, but I was highly amused that in every single publicity shot they had Kim McC holding her fake pregnant stomach as if to scream "she's pregnant!"

I hate to go off topic, but I must. Ingo's baby has been born, and his son's name is, I swear to God, Peanut.


Becca - God Bless YOU because you couldn't pay me to watch NS2 if it were my ticket to heaven. Granted, I'm probably not going there anyway (sigh.. a fun youth indeed) - but that isn't the point.

The point is - regardless of what the actors are saying about NS2 - I call bullshit. Seriously - what the eff are they going to say???? "The show sucks"???? Not if they want their checks to clear they won't.

Jason fawned all last year in interviews and appearances all around the great U.S. of A. about how great NS was going to be prior to it airing. And we all collectively know how true that WASN'T.....

The picture? What's that saying??? Ah yes - a picture is worth a thousand words..... But no picture stands up to your blog - I swear you are a genius.....

Gotta go tend to my garden. you know - that space outside where there is no TV to watch either the original trainwreck GH or the dead bodies in the middle of the road, NS2.

The first three times I read the headline of this post, I thought it said "ABC Hates Soaps." I guess that's been official for a while now, though.

I don't necessarily think that ABC hates the Scorpios, though there are a myriad of reasons to believe that to be true.

Personally, I think their graphics department just sucks ass. Remember that awful first promotional image for the first season of "Night Shit"? ( and that's not a typo)


Kimberly McCoullough looks just awful, which definitely lends credence to the Scorpio hatred. However, so does Steve Burton, and the people who run these shows apparently think Jason can cure cancer since he's considered more "heroic" than any of the doctors. Point is, they love him and he looks like crap.

Graphics department sucks ass.

At least Jason effing Morgan isn't on the thing. With ABCD, I've learned (been trained) to be grateful for small (very small) things. I actually think this is one of the best pieces of promo they've come up with: Robin is front and center and they haven't tried to make her look all wind-blown and sexed-up; she looks confident and normal. Plus, Robert is there (!) and because he's such a handsome guy, he can pull off the shit-sniffing look. Oh yeah, there's also Patrick and JAGGER!!! Not since my high school days of drooling (obsessing) over Antonio Sabato Jr. have I been able to squee over anything GH affiliated, so just for sticking him in there, they've earned big points. My only questions are, 1) why the hell has Billy Dee Williams come back to this crap show to sweep and sing "When the Saint Go Marching In"? and 2) why does Epiphany have to be there?

I don't know. It seems this promo pic is much better than that last one. I guess NS2 is going to feature epiphabitch. *sigh*

"Even you shouldn't be able to screw this up."
Um...is Brian Frons paying you to say things like this? These people are single-handedly responsible for "go back" and "re-do". My goldfish that I had when I was 8 could do a better job writing this show. And he's (she's?) dead!

im optimistic there really is no way they can screw this up. there doesnt seem to be any skanks that patrick will be chasing around and they cut out jason and spinelli thank god. plus you have robert and ASJ. like you said just seeing patrick and jagger on the same show will just be enough to make me watch. they dont even have to speak just stand there and look pretty

Personally, I think Kimberly looks very pretty, and Tristan looks really good, too. In fact, too good considering that he's at least old enough to be my dad, and I grew up watching him be the actual dad of myRobin-so it's a little creepy. But anyway.....

And I have to say that I'm glad Robin is finally, FINALLY going to get some focus on her pregnancy( as I hope that's what her presence, front and center in the ad, indicates)-because, despite what they would like us to believe, Patrick is NOT the one carrying the baby-that doesn't have to do with Patrick. I love him, but enough is enough-if all he does, for the vast majority of the season, is stand there, look pretty, and be Robin's support system, I would be downright GIDDY. Yes, the target audience is women-but I would be willing to bet that the PRIMARY target audience for Grey's Anatomy is women, too, and you don't see them featuring McDreamy and his endless issues every week to the detriment of Meredith's storyline, nor do they do it with the other couples on that show. I don't have to see ad after ad after ad of Jason Thompson and Antonio Sabato, Jr., featured front and center while Kimberly McCullough lurks in the background to make me want to watch-in fact, ads like that, which would say to me we're just getting more "Patrick is the legendary character and Robin is just there to prop up his character because she doesn't have 2 decades plus of character history of her own" GH bullshit, would be guaranteed to make me NOT want to watch.

In the promo pic, Robert looks like he just had some bad spinach or whatever is the e-coli/salmonella vegetable of the moment. I absolutely love this man and they could have done him better justice than that. ;(

I think Robin looks fine. Tristan, on the other hand,looks like they are forcing him to be there. Does anyone else find it funny that Jason Thompson almost looks bigger than ASJ? I've seen them both in towels and two Jason Thompsons are as big as Antonio. I mean, they are both attractive...just very different.

Hey, look at it this way. Maybe ABC hates the Scorpios through bad pictures, but if it was a nighttime series about, oh, say, the Quartermaines, it would be a picture of a bunch of headstones. Or a crypt. Or a nighttime series about the Quartermaines would never happen anyway, because, hey, most of them are dead.

Just trying to look on the bright side here.

Hey, look at it this way. Maybe ABC hates the Scorpios through bad pictures, but if it was a nighttime series about, oh, say, the Quartermaines, it would be a picture of a bunch of headstones. Or a crypt. Or a nighttime series about the Quartermaines would never happen anyway, because, hey, most of them are dead.

Just trying to look on the bright side here.

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