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« Passions: Why Survivor 4: St. Lisa's Was Scrapped | Main | The Whole World Has Gone Topsy-Turvy »

August 19, 2008

Quick! Someone Hand This Child an Emmy!

Madonna once opined that "Music makes the people come together", but my glee at the end of yesterday's episode of AMC reminded me that there's another great unifier in this world: complete and utter hatred of the Carey women.

Because I'm not going to lie, other than Olympic swimming, nothing on television (and certainly nothing on AMC, unless you count the closing credits) has been as awesome as watching Kathy be adorable


cunningly pretend to apologize to Krystal and her cleavage for locking her out of the house


and, while Tad, Krystal and her halfwit brother and sister smugly congratulate themselves for dealing with the problem child with such grace and brilliance,



rip the head off of the "Krystal" doll she was playing with



Loved it. If the Emmys were worth anything but hours and angst for me and Becca, Alexa Gerasimovich and Braden Walkes would be award recipients.

I have only been paying half hearted attention to the rest of the show lately, because I'm irritated that Zach and Kendall can't get their OWN story away from the Ryan/Annie/Greenlee thing and I hate that they are blatantly rehashing the Ryan/Greenlee/Kendall story again with Annie this time and I don't understand the purpose of Randi or why they won't buy her acting lessons. So...roughly eighty percent of the show. But if Kathy continues to be devilishly hilarious and if Adam continues to plot nefariously and if Petey continues to be AWESOME, I may change my tune.


Is anyone at AMC concerned that the best actress on the show is under 10?

I saw flashes of Jeff Lewis playing baby dolls with his ex-boyfriend/business partner's little girl. Jeff yells at the doll ("Bad Baby!") and throws it to the ground gleefully, and the little girl loves it! It's deliciously creepy and wrong and so so soapy.

KATHY ROCKS! SUCK IT JEFF LEWIS! If you don't watch Flipping Out on Bravo you are missing a rare treat. Dysfunctionpalooza LA style. If Jeff employed the Carey women they would be lucky to be on dog pooh patrol or in charge of his fountain drink orders. They'd always be full time trash too. I know that is understood, but full time trash working for Jeff Lewis means cleaning up work sites 24/7 and holidays! In my dreams Krystal and Babe are Jeff's bitches.

And is it ever possible for GreenleeKendallZachAnnieRyanAiden to have scenes or any private moments away from the damn gang? They are like junior highers always traveling and living in cliques unable to seperate their life from the other's as a pack. It's really icky. I say go full on orge or knock it off already.

I am THRILLED that Kathy is acting out and focusing her hatred on Krystal. I was really hoping that the writers would have let Tad find out that Kathy was his daughter and that we would have been treated to a big, messy custody battle between Julia and Tad -- with the whole town taking sides, Tad's murder (cuz that's what it was) of Greg Madden revealed, and Julia eventually being able to retain custody of Kathy. Instead, the stupid writers took the easy, disgusting way out by killing off Julia in the cheapest way possible (no goodbye scene with Kathy, no funeral, no appearance by ANYONE from the Santos family, not even a damn memorial service) and just presenting Kathy to Tad on a silver platter. Bah!

The writers have constructed an absolutely *horrible* story for Kathy (having first her adoptive parents and then Julia die within the space of little more than a year is just sickening), so it only makes sense that this little girl would be seriously disturbed and exhibiting some "evil" behavior. The fact that her target is Krystal is the icing on the cake. I can't wait to see what Kathy does next. She's the most compelling character on the show right now.

Since we're on the subject of children -- I'm rather disturbed at the way the "Annie is crazy" storyline is developing as it concerns little Emma. Emma's father -- whom she presumably loved even though he was bad -- was killed and she then had to accept Ryan as her father. Now it appears that Annie is going to be thrown under the bus so that Ryan and Greenlee can be reunited. (just...UGH). So Emma will lose her mother, just like her friend Kathy did -- and will end up with Ryan and (shudder) Greenlee as her stepmother. I mean, really -- what the hell???? How can the producers/writers think it's okay for little kids to lose the most important people in their lives? And to have this happen to TWO children almost at the same time? Nauseating.

And speaking of nauseating, I totally agree that I am sick to death of The Sextet. Kendall, in particular, has been irritating the hell out of me during the past few days. She's absolutely *obsessed* with breaking up Annie and Ryan (which is reprehensible, considering there are three children involved), and the way she points to every. little. thing. Annie does as proof of her "insanity" is ridiculous. As Mallory said, this is an obvious rehash of Greenlee/Ryan/Kendall. It was revolting to watch then, and just as revolting now, especially because Kendall -- who should be empathizing with Annie -- is now the tormentor.

When Annie told Ryan the other day that she felt like she was in junior high and had been cut out by the cool kids, I really felt for her. Because she used to be an integral part of the extended Slater/Hart/Lavery family and now Greenlee and Kendall -- the arbiters of sane, appropriate behavior -- have decided she's just not good enough. So of course she's got to go! Because God forbid Ryan shouldn't be perfectly happy or actually stick with the woman he married! (And Ryan himself is being the biggest ass in the world in this whole storyline -- but that's a whole other post.)

Even though I used to love Kendall and Zach, I would actually enjoy seeing Zach tell Kendall that if she doesn't knock off all the griping and obsessing and sniping, and concentrate on HER TWO SONS WHO ALMOST DIED and their marriage, he's outta there. And taking the kids with him!

It's All My Children... so don't hold your breath.

This deliciousness will soon pass, and we'll be rewarded with another three months of my least favorite sitcom, "Everyone Loves the Careys", followed by the dramedy, "Ryan's Anatomy".

Don't forget the opening scenes on Friday (was it Friday?) of Tad being all pleased with himself for having sex-on-the-sofa with Krystal while an equally smug Krystal pointlessly buttons her barely existent blouse. That made me long for a set of Tad and Krystal dolls to disembowel myself.

OMG! For a second, I thought you were screencapping "Dynasty" - what in God's green earth is Krystal wearing?!?!

Maybe Kathy should meet GH's Cam - imagine the havoc they could wreck!! If anyone can take down Guza's holy trinity of Sonny, Jason, and Carly, my money is on them.

LOVED the taking the head off of the doll! A little creepy but oh so funny. Love her & the actress that plays Emma.

I just watched the opening credits of AMC. They look pretty new which is great. And "wow" to Palmer being alive, he must be 90 by now. I thought he was off the show since it's been so long since I've seen him. Hope he's well.

My kinda related to this post point....instead of doing head shots of the actors in the opener why not highlight what the individual actor want......

Like for Krystal, a full screen shot of the boobage!!!! I mean really? Her day clothes show more than most swim suits!!!!

Since ABC likes to market so much crap we see on the soaps, they should market the "Krystal Dolls" -- complete with removeable head!

Trust me -- it'd be a TOP seller!!!!

Not that I want this to turn into a 'magic' soap opera or anything (cause it went SO well for Port Charles *rme*), but honestly, if Kathy were to develop some sort of 'voodoo' powers to use against Krystal I think I would be perfectly fine with that. :)

Zach is hardly gonna leave his wife over something like this. It wouldn't say much for him if he did? Marriage vows are for BETTER or WORSE.

Mallory, another great column, I am sick to death of the sextet. Free Zendall from them, I'm sick to death of Zendall being used to prop Ryannie & Graidan. If those couples can't carry their own storylines, then the writers need to cut their losses with the characters.

As an Aidan and Greenlee fan - I'd like to note we are as sick of being tied to Zen and Ryannie as the Zen fans are of being stuck with us. Ailee is actually gaining fans despite the anvils falling daily of Rylee Redux. I have no doubt Aidan/Greens could handle their own story if only they were ALLOWED to. Kendall isn't doing anyone any favors with her endless Ryan pimping. I feel for AM. Split these six up already.

I too flove Kathy - she is brilliant in her diabolical scheming. I can't wait to see KWAK vs. Kathy. I put my money on the little girl in this battle.

Valerie, you're a marketing genius! ABC should hire you to create new products to pimp their shiite shows.

The Krystal doll with the pop off head is perfect. Don't forget the boobs.

How about Greenlee Ryan Aiden Kendall Annie and Zach dolls all bound together by the world's strongest velcro?

Or a Jason doll that grows out it's own hair and comes with a tiny jar of dippity doo and removable t-shirts in both black, and black.

Or a Sonny doll that has life like arms and comes with it's own crystal barware. One sweep and he breaks it all... I can see the commercial in my head already.

And imagine the crossover possibilities. Stuart Chandler and Patrick Drake dolls can share sweater vests! And imagine the vile super sperm contests the Sonny and Ryan dolls could have.

I'm still getting caught up on AMC after a long absence (stupid Angie & Jesse for sucking me back in). I already hate Crystal. I just find her super annoying and she does dress most trampily. I remember liking Tad when I used to watch so I just have to wonder what in the world he sees in her--besides the very obvious.

Little Kathy is fantastic. I'd love a cross-soap pairing with her and my Z baby. They could rule the world together.

THANKS, i really don't want zach to ever leave kendall she is the mother of his sons, and his soulmate, but i do wish she would put herself in zach's shoes, if he was doing this obessive behavor with say MARIA or ONe of his EX'S worring about what is going on in their lives and marriages, kendall would NOT put up with it and neither would her fans,,,,,,,,iam a ZACH fan first but i love kendall with him,,,,,,,,,but i really would like her to PUT her husband and sons before outsiders, like the USERS greenlee and ryan. rylee will be together again and they will hurt kendall AGAIN, and i hope zach is still WILLING to be in this marriage,,,,,,,,JMO

thank you mallory.........iam a zach slater fan, and i really wish they would free this strong sexy man form ALL RYAN'S WOMEN, greenlee kendall and annie,,,,,,,worhip this loser like he is a GAWD, well he is not, kendall is gonna fool around and be alone,,,,,,,because maybe zach will not leave her for this NOW but who knows how much a MAN can take,,,,,,,,,most men would have been done cut all ties with kendall by now, and kendall knows that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would have served zach with DIVORCE PAPERS by now, she's done it twice before i really feel sorry for ZACH having to play this high school game with his WIFE whom is to her tell it. A MATURE MOTHER/ WIFE NOW. well please prove me wrong cause i don't see it..........

Hello, how can I get permission to use some of your pictures featured here? I write a commentary column and would be pleased to link back to you in the article and say thanks very nicely. I look forward to yoru reply!

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