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« Quick! Someone Hand This Child an Emmy! | Main | Night Shift Episode 5: Family Values »

August 21, 2008

The Whole World Has Gone Topsy-Turvy

No sentence Stephen King has ever penned can come close to the feeling of simultaneous terror and revulsion a person experiences when they hear something sensible coming out of Gloria's mouth:

I know that, Katherine. Don't get me wrong, I like Cane. He is handsome, he's charming, but let's face it, a year ago, he was chasing kangaroos in the outback and throwing shrimps on the barbie. He is not qualified to run an international cosmetics company.

Granted, the good points she's making are completely muddled by her lack of self awareness, as she's convinced herself that, as John's wife for a brief period of time, she and her grifter self have the sole legitimate claim to Jabot instead of, like, John's children or anything, but STILL. She's kind of right about Cane, a little bit. He IS handsome and he IS charming, but, to be honest, I'd be a little wary of getting the right amount of change back from him if he was waiting on me at Crimson Lights. The duh is strong with this one, you know? Especially since he's acting like a complete simpleton with his decision to marry Chloe. Even the most recent iteration of Lucky Spencer is like, "Dude, that doesn't seem wise..."

Gloria's brief detour into rationality was the highlight of the week thus far, but that's damning with faint praise, because this week has been epically boring. This week has also been heavy on the Devon, Tyra and Ana story. Coincidence? I think not.


Wow, you know someone has lost faith in a character's judgment when someone accuses poor unLucky Spencer of having more sense:(. Cane and Lily really seem like nice people, but they are two big bubbleheads whom I pray never ACTUALLY breed. One of the smartest things I ever watched Cane do was initially reject Jill's idea for him to become CEO because he felt he wasn't experienced. But all he needed was a little ego boost from Mommy and Lily for him to do a total 180. Now he's thinking it's a great idea, even though he is too stupid to put his foot down and refuse to marry the woman who (may have) sexually assaulted him. No woman would have been told to (let alone expected to) do that with the rapist who impregnated her. Please let Billy Abbott arrive ASAP (1-because I kinda liked the actor as Ritchie and 2-because I believe this Cane/Chloe will end faster and 3-I think Billy and Chloe will probably have a lot of snarky scenes at Lane's expense).

Anyway,methinks the Devon/Tyra/Ana build-up is leading Ms. Ana out the door (THANK GOD!), so I won't complain as long as she doesn't sing.

Cane gets my vote for changing his mind more often than a woman this week. One minute he says he has to marry Chloe to establish his parental rights, and the next he says he doesn't have to marry Chloe to be a father to the baby.

Somebody bitchslap some sense into the boy already.

I think Cane's gonna give Chloe some stock so Gloria can gobble it up and takeover Jabot. Just a theory. Oh - and i also theorize that Billy's the father of Chloe's baby but they better have a damn good reason for Chloe picking boring ass Cane over hot-hot Billy!

You realize, of course, that we are now entering the Hogan Sheffer era of television writing.

Enough said.

Sincerely, Deborah

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