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« Pain Valley | Main | I Am So Not Used To This Feeling »

September 23, 2008

The Day's Dumbest Dialogue

I have no familiarity with estate law, and everything I know about legitimacy comes from soap operas and Tudor History, so I may be wrong, but...

John: As if you care. Look...I'm not of the mind to argue with you about this right now. Besides, there's nothing to discuss when it comes to the empire as you put it. I win, you lose.
Stefano: I beg to differ.
John: Any judge in the land would agree that part, if not all, of everything DiMera belongs to me.

John: I'm your half brother. And the seed money to start our empire came from DiMera shipping, our father, Santo's, company.
Stefano: Hmm. So what? DiMera shipping -- it's nothing compared to what I am worth today, all right? It was my business talent that made Santo's company thrive. I was the one who showed them the way to make it grow, huh? To make investments that would pay off even more so? And I made it work.
John: Well, the way I see it, half of everything my father owned should have come to me, but it didn't...so, legally, I'm at least half owner of everything you managed to build. And seeing as how you were already more than halfway home to losing everything, that seems to put me in...pole position.

I don't think that's how it works.

1. Santo didn't know John existed, so unless he had a clause in his will leaving money to any possible spawn he may have roaming around without his knowledge, John's out of luck. Too bad, so sad.

2. Even if John had a point, which he does not (that statement works on several levels...), wouldn't he only be entitled to half of his father's money? And not the money that Stefano made? Why would he get any part of the DiMera empire? And can I say how hilarious it is that they just casually refer to it in conversation as the empire? But really, is that how it works? Do you just get to swoop in and take your sibling's money? I am seriously rethinking my career path here. I don't want to become a famous blogger/handbag designer only to have one of my brothers try to lay claim to it!

3. Didn't this exact story happen when John was all of a sudden an Alamain?

4. How many backstories is this character going to have before it becomes so mind-bogglingly stupid that the collective viewing audience loses their mind in unison one afternoon? Do you think Drake Hogestyn gets confused by all the backstories? Because I would. I would need to carry a crib sheet around with me. "Pawn Roman John Forrest Priest Ryan Brady"

5. I'm pretty sure I just put more thought into this storyline than Dena Higley has.


Thank you! I have been railing about this issue for months now, ever since John was named the head of the family when Stefano was sent into a coma by Queen Marlena. He has NO RIGHT to anything at all. The only thing he could possibly get would be half of Santo's original holdings, which couldn't have been that much. It's asinine for him to think he could claim anything or for a court to entertain the possibility.

And what kind of "war" is this supposed to be? All they do is occasionally chat about money and who gets it. Sigh. You and I have definitely given it more thought than Higley has.

I officially became confused with John's ever changing backstories when we went from Roman to John. I'm waiting for the big storyline that reveals he's really Santa Clause! Maybe for Christmas.

I completely agree on point #5.

As for John being Santa Clause, well, that would be a creative storyline with him fading away and everyone in Salem needing to renew a fading Christmas spirit so that Santa will not fade away. With the ever begging/crying strong martyr Marlena leading the charge.

Then Christmas will be saved, John will be saved, and all the good little boys and girls will have presents under the tree on Christmas morning, and Marlena will ride in the sleigh too. Until John takes her to some isolated cabin in the woods and they renew their vows because we got the Christmas miracle of John remembering that he was old-John, which makes it a perfect Christmas and they will rule as Santa and Mrs Clause forever and ever. Except when they're in Salem fighting the evil Stephano and when John is trying to suck Marlena's brains out her mouth when he kisses her.

And if this storyline shows up on Days, you know who to thank/curse for it.

I've been giving DAYS a pass because it's much better in just about every possible way than what it was when...well, through all the mid-late '90s and the early '00s. You're right, though: the stories have been more on the dull side - and sometimes they don't make any sense, but not in the fun "So her alternate personality is blackmailing her estranged father with the truth of her half-brother" usual soap opera kind of way but in the "I don't think that actually makes any sense" kind of way.

In fact, I think the only story that has actually surprised and interested me since Hogan Sheffer was axed is Hope getting Abe's job, and even then I'm not convinced they'll go very far with it.

They probably got the idea from this story:

Illegitimate Daughter Denied Jell-O Fortune

but didn't understand what "denied" meant.


I do not understand at ALL how John has any claim to Stefano's legacy. When he was in a coma - ok. All of his children were written out of the will, John is his half-brother, I could buy that.

But now?? EJ and Tony have no leg to stand on. John certainly doesn't. Stefano's "empire" is Stefano's. It makes zero sense.

And as far as number 5 goes... Don't even get me started on that one... I think the whole John is the horribly rewritten love child of Santo and Colleen's horribly rewritten love affair that started the horribly rewritten DiMera/Brady feud. Ugh. I mean - didn't DNA tie John to the Alamins??? I don't get this at all...

I wish everyone would wake up and the whole Santo/Colleen thing never would have happened and John is not a DiMera. That whole twist is a bit much - even for this character's ridiculous history...

The only part of this entire convulted mess I like is that John is a DiBrady.

I don't know why he thinks he's entitled to anything other than possibly half his father's holdings and that certainly doesn't include the DiMansion.

Higley's slowly but surely digging a hole and is burying DAYS. What in the world was Corday thinking when he rehired a woman he'd already fired for being an atrocious writer?

Um, when are you guys gonna post on Days again? Pretty please?

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