One of the following is a REAL eulogy given for one Ms. Arabella "Babe" Carey Chandler, who is dead (DEAD!). The other is a fake eulogy. Can you tell which one is which?
Mourner: Babe made the world a better place, just by being part of it. There has literally never been another human being like her. Nobody to walk this earth before or since has done so much good for so many.
Mourner: Babe was like a ray of sunshine. Cheerful and warm, and a smile that could light up any room. She brightened a lot of my days.
For the record, the first one is fictional, but only just. I expected someone to stand up and talk about how Babe's soul is made from sugar plums and gum drops, and how she devoted all of her free time to saving limbless blind orphans in Botswana before breaking down and wondering why they didn't die instead. I mean, I knew one of the drawbacks of Babe dying (DEAD!) would be the endless parade of blissful Babe memories, but, perhaps naively, I thought that the revisionist history would at least be tempered by people alluding to the not-so great aspects of Babe's history, such as everything from October 2003 to last Thursday, when she died (DEAD!). I assume that they wrote in all of that stuff, but it just got edited out to get the episode in at an hour. Right? Because this was kind of ludicrous.
Krystal: I never knew what love was... until the first time I held Babe in my arms. And looking down at that sweet face, and that baby soft skin -- it -- it just all made sense. I was put on this earth to be her mama. And I knew in that moment that i would give my life to protect her.
"...luckily, it never came to that, but I did go to jail for our part in the plot to kidnap multiple children, falsify multiple paternity tests and ruin the lives of multiple people. The things I do for my Baby Doll!"