Night Shift Season Finale, Part Two: In Which We Cry, Some More, Again

Click here for Part One of our Finale Coverage!

Becca: Patrick is hotly bleeding!
Mallory: Carnage! Great way to start an episode. I'm not even being sarcastic...
Becca: There's typical GH carnage -- which you know will end with the mafia saving the day -- and then there's good soapy carnage. This is the latter.
Becca: Regular GH could have told these amateurs how to pay a bajillion dollars for special effects that look like fire, but these crazy kids had to use an actual flame, which probably cost them next to nothing.  You won't move up in ABC Daytime with that kind of thinking, losers! 
Becca: Oh, and Claire might be dead. And "Leo" is on fire. And Jagger the cop just saved him! A cop saved someone! In Port Charles! And he just saved Saira too! OMG, I think I'm going to need reprogramming after this show.
Mallory: Write today's date down, because you'll never see that happen again
Mallory: Jagger's serious, investigate-y face makes me giggle
Becca: Remind me to find out how I can get Finola Hughes' arms. And while we're asking for the impossible, I'd like Tristan Rogers to adopt me.
Mallory: Claire still has doctorly instincts! Who could have seen that coming?
Becca: Not me! Because I have never seen TV, especially Grey's Anatomy -- with that doctor who looks and acts exactly the same as Claire -- before. Izzy had this exact storyline. It's uncanny.
Mallory: It's a crazy coincidence, I tell you.
Becca: Patrick is hotly disarming a bomb!
Mallory: Is there nothing Patrick can't do? Besides be a competent Chief of Staff, I mean
Becca: I've yet to see him be hotly fraternal, I must say. What has happened with that storyline?
Mallory: The writers got distracted by a piece of tinsel, is what happened
Becca: Well, at least their consistency is....consistent.  Anyway, back to Night Shift. On which Saira might be dead. I still don't think I care. Is that wrong?
Mallory: Not even a little. The way that she flatlined just before the commercial? Awesome. Which is a bitchy thing to say, but whatever! I mean it was awesome from a pure entertainment standpoint.

Mallory: How cute is Robin giving her dad good news?!
Becca: Oh thank god, I really think they're not going to kill off Robert Scorpio. I never should have doubted the writers. Well, I never should have doubted THESE writers. Soap writers in general....
Mallory: It's a legitimate response, you know? We've been burned before so badly
Becca: Don't say "burned." You know Guza will burn Patrick's face off, or something
Mallory: And then give him a face transplant that also gives him a new nationality. You're right, forget I said anything.

Mallory: Jason Thompson carries off a suit really, really well
Becca: What does Jason Thompson not carry off well?
Mallory: He honestly brings out the best in Antonio Sabato Jr.  Which...is saying something.

Becca: So Saira has been in a coma for a week? Wait, I'm sorry, that could have been misconstrued as me caring.
Mallory: I like how the writers are trying to guilt me into caring about Saira by using Robin's baby. It's not going to work!!!
Becca: Yeah, we're not new.
Mallory: Ethan Rains has improved majorly since the premiere. I'd say I was proud, but since I don't know him, that would be creepy
Becca: Hee. Yeah, I was just going to say, he could actually give Antonio Sabato Jr. crying lessons. Also, less "creepy" and more "over-invested," but either way I understand.
Mallory: Speaking of...what emotion was ASJ trying to convey just now? (a) Sadness (b) Hunger (c)Anxiousness that he didn't properly TiVo Dancing With the Stars?
Becca: I think it was "perplexed indifference with a hint of homicidal rage"?  Or (c).

Becca: What the holy hell is Claire wearing?! Izzy would not approve
Mallory: Why do they dress such a pretty girl in such terrible things?
Becca: Maybe the wardrobe department understandably confused her with Katherine Heigl whom they, like us, have grown to loathe, and therefore are punishing her?
Mallory: Aw, Kyle and Claire made up. I am so...I can't even fake it, sorry. I don't care even a little
Becca: Sorry, what? I was fixing a hangnail.
Mallory: I don't remember. I think something happened and people said and did stuff. Whatev

Becca: Phew, Finola's hair looks better in this episode. Not great, but decent. And Anna and Robert are reuniting for good? I'm melting.
Mallory: It's a step in the right direction, at least

Mallory: The coma was the best acting Saira ever did. She should submit it on her Emmy reel. Hee. "Saira's Emmy reel". I made a funny.
Becca:  Ha! 

Mallory: MONICA QUARTERMAINE
Becca: Seeing Monica as a doctor is yet another thing I would be totally willing to get used to.
Mallory: Aww. Poor Patrick. Hotly being fired from a job he was hotly, hilariously and wholly unqualified for.
Becca: Patrick was hotly terminated!
Mallory: Seeing Robert, Anna and Monica, and Luke, Sean and Tiffany all in one night...how will we ever go back to the OG GH now?
Becca: The usual: Start drinking in the afternoon.
Mallory: We may need to upgrade to crack.

Becca: Patrick is hotly shirtless! And hotly horizontal!
Mallory: Another thing I could sooo get used to seeing on a regular basis
Becca: So I'm assuming Pattycake only got fired from his [ridiculous] chief of staff position, not his regular brain surgeon/ER doc/research physician hybrid?
Mallory: It's only fair. Refusing to treat white supremacists has no bearing on his super brilliant Jack of all Medical Trades thing.

Mallory: It's crazy how good Kimberly McCullough looks on this show.
Becca: Further evidence of how much OG GH sucks.
Mallory: How big is our "How Much OG GH Sucks" file?
Becca:  Approximately....Texas?

Becca:  I'm not sure how I feel about the Billy Dee-has-a-son reveal happening in the season finale.
Mallory: Billy Dee has a son? I...don't even have the words to convey my massive lack of caring
Becca: Jinx! I was going to say, that's assuming I can figure out whether I have any feelings about that reveal at all.
Mallory: I am scared that this means that his secret child will be a thread next season. I dont know if I could watch him sleepwalk through that...
Becca: Maybe over the break he'll decide that it's worth actually acting if someone is going to pay you to do so when you're in your 70s yet have little discernible talent.

Becca: Jagger is leaving town? No chance of ASJ ending up on OG GH?
Mallory: Why is Jagger moving back to San Francisco? Why won't they hire him on the OG GH? Why did he say "San Francisco" with an accent?
Becca: I wouldn't normally wish that on anyone, but I have to balance the potential harm to him against all that I have to gain by him being shirtless on a regular basis.
Mallory: Have we discussed ASJ's VH1 dating show?
Becca: We have not! Because I was trying to pretend it didn't exist! When does it start? What's the twist? To whom will you admit that you watch it?
Mallory: I don't even think I could watch it, which says a whole lot
Becca: Wow. I'm stunned by that. Only because of The Hills, I promise! I cast no other judgment
Mallory: Watch it, missy! One person's trash TV is...another person's ironic trash TV.

Becca: I adore that this show has created a Patrick/Robert relationship.
Mallory: I want a ringtone of Tristan Rogers saying "Pattycake"
Becca: That would be heaven. Also sent from above? "Promise me one thing: That you'll treat your little girl a whole lot better than I treated mine." And Robert calling Patrick "son." Sniffle.
Mallory: "Thank you...son". Awww!
Mallory: I just started crying again
Becca: We're jinxing and crying!
Becca: Are you also wondering what blush they're using on Kimberly McCullough?
Mallory: I am scouring Sephora.com as we speak
Becca:  Aw, I still like the Robin/Jagger relationship. Hopefully the internet won't break with me saying that. LIke last time. Look how many times I'm saying "relationship" tonight. 

Mallory: They are really trying hard to get me interested in anything Saira related. So cute, these writers and their effort
Becca: I'm impressed by Ethan Raines' performance. What is happening? But yes, still don't care about Saira.
Mallory: Hee! "I want to take you on a trip...a long weekend". That was a mighty quick downgrade, Leo
Becca: That's like "Let's go to dinner and a movie...or maybe a drink and free happy hour appetizers." I'm so glad they didn't have Saira forgive "Leo," honestly. That would have been so cliche.

Becca: Hee, I love the age jokes with Robert and Anna. The actors are so good with comedy.
Mallory: "I want to be that man that you fell in love with"--swoon!
Becca: "I always did think that we would find our way back to each other....I'm not willing to wait any more." "Oh, I do looove you." Sniffle.
Mallory: Again with the tears! I won't be able to leave the house tomorrow because my eyes will be so puffy
Becca: I am going to blame pollen. Yes, in October. What?
Mallory: Hey, my excuse was going to be, "Look over there, a diversion!" before I scurried away

Becca: Hey, a OLTL commercial! That will totally cure your puffy eyes! And varicose veins, sore joints, cholesterol levels...
Mallory: Ouch, my OLTL buzz was just harshed by AMC, which is so epically terrible that I think they are trying to live down to Guza. I do not believe you when you say AMC is your something, Mel B.
Becca: Call me when they shoot an adolescent in the head to teach him a lesson, 'kay?

Mallory: Epiphany is being so pleasant! Not a snarky comment to be found. I love this Epiphany. I think we should have drinks with Sonya Eddy
Becca: Absolutely! Maybe she could explain that thing we call "Bob Guza's writing." Probably not, but it's worth a try.

Mallory: I know she just came out of a coma and all that, but Saira's shirt is just...wrong
Becca: She also has bad split ends. I mean, as long as we're throwing out complaints.
Mallory: Totally warranted

Mallory: Oh, Robert. Why does Bob Guza hate you so much?
Becca: I cannot get over how much I adore the Robert/Robin relationship. There's that word again! Why does it keep popping up! One would almost think a good soap revolves around many of them!

Mallory: Aww! Leo helped Eric! This is seriously such a sweet scene. I like it so much that I won't even comment on how wee Ethan Rains is next to Adam Grimes.
Becca: Totally! This is who Leo should have been all season. Especially the part where he offered to help Kyle pick up a guy. Two thumbs up.
Mallory: Hilarious! Why did we waste so much time on Leo being an asshole when he could have been charmingly hilarious?

Becca: Nooooo! Robert did not just run off without Anna! To avoid his treatments!
Mallory: NOOOOOOOO!!! I am devastated.
Becca: Nooooo! Nooooo! That is as good as killing Robert Scorpio! Nooooo! It's also totally true to character and kind of genius. But....nooooo!

Mallory: I'm sorry, Epiphany's crush on Jagger is the best thing to ever happen in the world. No exaggeration
Becca: It makes me giggle uncontrollably.
Mallory: Aww! Little Stone loves Robin! DAMN IT, SRI RAO! WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME CRY?

Becca: Oh, phew! The note said "I'll be waiting with the mai-tais, once I'm back to myself." That means Robert is going to get his treatments, right? RIGHT?!
Mallory: Right. Right. Back away from the ledge, B
Becca: I'm very emotional, Mal! There've been Quartermaines and Luke Spencer and Sean and Tiffany and lil' Robin and wedding flashbacks and supercouple "I love you"s and....I'm just very vulnerable right now!
Mallory: Honestly, I am going to be housebound until at least the weekend because my eyes are going to be so puffy I haven't cried like this in, like, a whole week
Becca: A whole week?
Mallory: I almost cried during The Office last week--no lie. But I caught myself just in time
Becca: It was from laughter, when Jan sang "Son of a Preacher Man" as a lullaby, right?
Mallory: ...yes. Yes, it was

Mallory: Hee! Patrick has cigars for when the baby is born! That is so, so fitting
Mallory: I have to be honest, the one thing I won't miss from NS is commercials for the webisodes
Becca:  I might be enough withdrawal from the show ending that I watch them, I have to say.  (No wait, I don't.  Erase erase erase.)
Becca: Patrick is hotly closing out the season by sexin' up Robin in the [hilariously ever in his possession] chief of staff office! Awesome.
Mallory: Brilliant, brilliant ending And they started the season having sex. Totally full circle!
Becca: Just like they started the first season having sex (with, it is important to note, Jason Thompson hotly naked in a shower)! Before it all went to hell. It is impossible to believe this season finale is part of the same series as last year's.
Mallory: I thought we agreed never to talk about the f***t s****n again!
Becca:  Ha!  The first rule of Night Shift is you do not talk about the f***t s****n.  I'm on board.

Comments

[Jackie]

I am crying over from laughing so hard. A co-worker just actually asked if I was okay and needed some water because I swear I stopped breathing for a minute.

You said everything I was thinking and feeling especially:

Becca: Nooooo! Robert did not just run off without Anna! To avoid his treatments!

Mallory: NOOOOOOOO!!! I am devastated.

Becca: Nooooo! Nooooo! That is as good as killing Robert Scorpio! Nooooo! It's also totally true to character and kind of genius. But....nooooo!

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!! Please tell me you're going to at least recap something else just to help me through withdrawl.

PS- If you have to watch the Webisodes watch episode 11 (with Patty-cake). He's freakin hysterical. Please note, I said "he"...not them.

[resa]

You guys RULE!

[Sue]

OMG You ladies are hysterical. Can we get a clone of Sri to write OG GH? Where else do we get scrubs in a bed(not a couch) and scrubs sexin it up in Patrick's office to end the season. I never thought I would go through NS withdrawals after the unmentionable first season. Let's just hope Guza stays far, far away from NS.

[Miry]

Great recap, Ladies. How does a recap almost make one cry? This is the question.

Check it out... Hopefully Sri is just playing hard to get...& really will come to OG GH when Guza is fired this Dec. (*fingers crossed*):

http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/So+who+wants+to+clone+Sri+Rao/Soaps/Features/
Articles/081015_Sri_Rao_NB.htm?isfa=1

Also, he wanted Holly there, but she had some family stuff and they were only shooting for one day. To quote: “I absolutely wanted Holly to be part of my 80s reunion for Robert, but sadly Emma Samms was not available due to family commitments in England. It couldn't work out since we were only shooting for one day. I couldn't imagine telling this story without Holly, but unfortunately, I had to.”
http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/The+Suds+Report+Oct+17+2008/Soaps/Suds/
Articles/081017_news_nelson_NB.htm?isfa=1

He is just soo good. I wanna be Sri Rao when I grow up.

[Miry]

This thing does not like me.

http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/So+who+wants+to+clone+Sri+Rao/Soaps/
Features/Articles/081015_Sri_Rao_NB.htm?isfa=1

[Reva]

Okay ladies, everyone in my office thinks I've lost my mind. You really should put a warning on these. Anywho, I so adore this show, it's everything that OGGH should wish itself to be.

I don't think I've ever seen Pip quite that cute. Loved her.

And can I just say, when Patrick (hotly wearing suit) and Jagger were talking before the board meeting, the plethora of dimples made my knees weak.

[Laura]

I can't believe how good last night was. I loved all of the Scorpio stuff. Robert being all mushy with Pattycakes. JT tearing up (the man cries so well...take note ASJ).
JT wearing a suit, yummy. Patrick and Robin have a bed...woohoo. And KMc looks AMAZING on NS. I hate GH....I really hate it.

[M]

JT in a suit....yowza!!!
SCRUBS IN A BED - so freakin' hot!!!!!
Robert and Pattycakes - "son" (thud!)
Anna and Robert growing old together...

(I could go on forever, but you ladies have brillantly said everything I was thinking)

I'll miss NS soooo much - here's hoping for Sri in Season 3!!!

[Sarah]

Over the years when beloved shows end, I literally mourn them. I have private little funerals! I watch and rewatch the last episodes wearing my saddest most comfy black jammies. And I share memories of the good times w/ my sister or friends over the phone while sniffling and tearing up and then laughing through those same tears at some wonderful moment of greatness from the show now gone forever. And like any good funeral there is great booze, food, and Puffs w/out the gross lotion. For NS2 it was my Mom via the phone, my black knit jammies with the pale pink ribbon trim, a great bottle of California Pinot, and a box of truffles from Vosges Haut Chocolats! And TWO boxes of Puffs tissues.

Yes I know I need a life, but this is me, if you don't approve go SUCK ON IT with GUZA!!!

Between the first season of evil crap horror and this one that was like a gift from the gods of GH I am not sure what to make of a third season. I'm nervous and cautious by nature (and my exposure to TIIC of GH). Maybe a third season is too much to ask for? I mean why possibly take away or taint the joyous high from this season by doing a third that may not be headed by Sri and Lisa? I just don't know what to hope for besides Guza, Phelps, and Frons all being fired.

Love and kisses to Becca and Mallory for sharing this ride with us. You make it all better... the good, the bad, and the unbelievably offensive. Without you GH, NS, AMC, and Y&R would be largely unwatchable and far less entertaining.

[Tatiana]

I just loved the show this season. i really enjoyed a lot of it. Last year your recaps were my therapy and this year I was just able to enjoy and be amused by them.

And dude, Claire and Kyle's webisodes rocked! I weep for what you have missed out.

And seriously Ethan Rains has been really good the last couple of episodes. I think he's the best actor from the newbies. He totally won me over as Leo (no quotation marks there! Ha)

And Patrick and Robin and everything Scorpio/Devane? Fabulous! They should totally just call this NIGHT SHIFT ONE because last year's show should not be associated to anything ever.

Perfect ending to this season. It left me completely satisfied.

[BarbE]

This finale left me with a good feeling. I hope next season is on par or better. Hint-more Scrubs. I look forward to Anna & Robert. Robin & Patrick have a bed. Robin's bedroom hair was kickin, Patrick was hot so all is well in the world. Thanks for the fun recaps.

[Cate]

"Mallory: Seeing Robert, Anna and Monica, and Luke, Sean and Tiffany all in one night...how will we ever go back to the OG GH now?
Becca: The usual: Start drinking in the afternoon.
Mallory: We may need to upgrade to crack."

Just say NO to OG GH.

[Tabby]

Thank you Sri, for breathing life back into my soap. :"( I'm going to miss my Tuesday evening episodes.

Thank you Ladies for blogging it all!

[Susan]

See, this is what happens when you get an awesome writer who's a fan of General Hospital to write for it - you actually see the characters you love, recognize them and enjoy the hell out of seeing them on your screen! Thanks for recapping ladies! It's always nice to know you're not the only one holedup in your house crying your eyes out watching and loving every minute of it. I really don't know what I'm going to do going from must-see tv with Night Shift, back to 'Why do I bother with it?' regular GH. I guess I can always re-watch this on youtube!

[CHIgirl]

OMG! Ladies - you all need an EMMY (or whatever honors go to blogs) because this recap was BRIALLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!

And I still humbly aplogize, begging at both of your feet for forgivenss for ever doubting that NS2 was going to rock like you predicted.......

Is OG GH even still on? I can only tell by your blog because Lord knows I don't waste my time......

Can't P&R just move to a completely different show so I can see them again? Perhaps Grey's (it's getting better), or Private Practice - anything to replace NS2 because I'll gouge my eyes out before watching another sec of OG GH.

Guza - your village is pleading with all of us. They deparately miss their idiot and want you to come home. NOW!!!!!!!!

[cheerios!]

what does f***t s****n mean?

[cheerios!]

OH wait, I got it. First Season (oops, I said it).

[Loren]

Awesome job Ladies!!
And may I add, I wasn't really watching the "Leo" and Kyle scene (I was too busy applying a coat of nail polish) but I DID listen to their convo. And guess what? I actually find that Ethan Raines voice happens to be very pleasant...when he's not being a complete A-hole to the entire GH community.
Thanks for another great NS season recount...I seriously wouldn't have been able to make it through without your funny comments and picture/captions hilarity.
Oh! And w/out shirtless ASJ or Hot PattyCakes, of course....

[Heather]

A rather disturbing story about a murdered boy's photo being used as a prop for GH:NS.

http://www.news4jax.com/news/17844042/detail.html

[dramaqueen]

one of the best season drama =]