I Don't Normally Advocate Using Children As Weapons, But I'll Make An Exception

Annie reaching new levels of crazy, to the point where she fakes Emma's kidnapping just to screw with people, should not entertain me for a number of reasons:

• Annie is the latest in a long line of characters to be sacrificed in order to let Ryan be with Greenlee. Or Kendall. Or whoever his latest true love is at any particular time of day. I mean, granted, it's not like she started out as a good character, so her road to ruin was a short one, but still. Melissa Claire Egan has grown on me.

• It forces Cameron Mathison to play grief, worry and rage, which...makes me uncomfortable, to say the least.

• They recasted Di with a girl who I am pretty sure is new to acting, perhaps having won a contest of some sort. I am also reasonably sure that she was reading a teleprompter for the duration of her scenes

• Greenlee is tagging along for no real reason and--it pains me to say this as a card carrying member of the "Rebecca Budig! OMG<3Squeal!" fanclub--Rebecca Budig could not care less. I don't know if she's counting down the days until she leaves or if she thinks the story is lame, but she is completely half-assing it And the fact that I notice this during scenes with Ryan and Aidan says a whole lot.

• It's setting up weeks, if not months, of Ryan ranting and raving more self-righteously than usual about the grave injustices done unto him. "Can't wait".

However, I can say without hesitation, that I am enjoying the hell out of this, mostly because I am a horrible person who likes to watch bad things happening to Ryan Lavery, even if only temporarily.

I knew something about Emma's kidnapping wasn't kosher, so I should have figured that Annie was behind it, especially since her sole purpose these days is "Roadblock to Ryan and his greatest love of all", and probably would have figured it out if I paid complete attention to AMC when it's on. But I rarely have the patience for that, so I was pleasantly surprised by the big reveal.

The scenes today where Annie got out of her bubble bath and strolled around a huge house, pretending that she was being held hostage? Hilarious, and soapy in the good way. I'm even more irritated at how bland the AMC writers made Annie for most of MCE's time on the show, because she is downright fabulous as a schemer. Can you imagine if Richie was still alive and they were running around town being awesome and ruining lives? Excuse me while I shed a tear for what could have been.

This storyline is even making Aidan amusing to me, which I didn't think possible.

Ryan: I don't know, I don't know, we just got to go with what we have here, ok?

Aidan: Which is?

Ryan: Which is, uh, a house by a beach.

Aidan: Ryan, we're on an island. That's not going to get us anywhere.

Ha! Bitchy Aidan is my favorite Aidan.

The fact that he followed up by knocking Ryan out only added to the hilarity.

I know that if this story was happening to any other character, that I would be inconsolable with anger. Like, if someone faked Spike's kidnapping to hurt Kendall? I would be nothing but punctuation laced rage. But for some reason, when people do things to Ryan, I feel so gleeful and fight the urge to watch clips on YouTube nonstop. Fight the urge to watch...and lose. 

I fully admit to being a hypocrite, which makes my hypocrisy not totally annoying, right? Right?

Comments

[ande mcbeal]

Right, Mallory.

I was really afraid that this fake kidnapping business would ruin Annie and Aidan, but I guess they're made of sterner stuff--or the notion of a redux of the Green Butterfly/Dynamite Kiddo is so loathsome that even the most henious crime is acceptable as long as it stop the second coming.

[Beth R.]

Mallory if you just replaced the name Ryan with Jason Morgan and I would be right with you on the hypocrisy train.

[Lisa]

See I have NO problem with being a hypocrite. I love Kendall. I hate Ryan. Why? Ryan's a huge hypocrite and self righteous jerk. So we're supposed to hate him, right?

[dramaqueen]

I agree with Lisa

[RAP]

And I hate Kendall as well as Ryan and would love to see Annie screwing with both of those tiny minds. Oh. But Kendall's mind is on a vacation right now. Yay! No hypocrisy here. Just plain mean-spirited joy.

There's so little to enjoy on AMC these days. I was a Greenlee fan until the dreaded reunion with Ryan, now I hate her too. The more Annie sets about to eff those two over, the more I enjoy her. Schemer Annie is fabulous. Seems that Pine Valley has quite a few schemers now.

[Sarah]

Long live Bitchy Aidan, if he remains in PV it is the only way to survive and entertain me. And I hope Annie, even though I know it won't happen, wins this scheme or whatever it is! Emma and everyone else is better off without pop-eyed two faced faux hero douche Ryan!!!!!!

[Beth]

My only complaint would be that Aidan didn't knock CrazyEyes out long enough. He still had time to start yapping again before the end of the episode.

And while I know it won't last, having Aidan and Annie - not two of the brightest bulbs in the drawer - outwit Ham-eron M. and Princess Eyeliner is more fun than watching David make everyone else look like total idiots.

[Mar]

I'm totally on the same page... I don't know which I loved better: the scenes Annie wandering around in a towel sipping champagne while she pretended to be kidnapped, or Aidan punching Ryan, which I rewound and watched again probably more times than a "sane" person would...

[Kels]

Acknowledging your hypocrisy, which I do fully as well, absolutely makes it tolerable.

I haven't watched as long so I've pretty much only known crazy Annie but I LOVE her. I think MCE is totally fabulous. And I too weep for what could have been with her & Ritchie. I was sad to see even their scenes with him as a ghost come to an end.

There a handful of soap characters I personally love seeing tortured. Ryan is up there with Jason & Carly. If only Annie could torture those 2 as well.

Oh and bitchy Aidan rules! I hope he sticks around for a long time to come.

For the record, the evil that is Rylee only makes me root for Annie & Aidan more. Using those two to make Rylee look better only makes me hate the evil that is Rylee more than I already did. And that's something I didn't know was possible.

[buddz]

Also hilarious -- the BAR! Loved those sleazy locals, taunting Ryan and feeling up Greenlee. Too bad they had to get beaten by buggy-eyed Ryan and one-armed Aidan, 'cause I could've watched that stuff all hour. (And I truly expected Victor Newman to stroll in any minute!)

My own hypocricy knows no boundaries - I wouldn't mind if Aidan and Annie lured Ryan to places all over the planet. I wouldn't mind if they ran him to a nub and had him weeping with increasing regularity into Greenlee's lap, which, by the way, was aNOTHer hilarious scene.

The only thing that ruins it all is knowing that evil, twisted Annie is doing all this to get Ryan to return to her. Duh, Annie. Just when you were starting to break him.

[Izzy]

You forget the part where someone DID kidnap Spike to hurt Kendall: Greenlee's 'return'. I know we're all supposed to forget that happened but I sure as hell haven't.
Also? I love how every time someone mentions Greenlee's a partner in Fusion to Erica she's all 'WTF-ever, my daughter's in a coma and where's her partner and supposed bff? Out chasing Ryan's dick. So um, no. I'll be handling things for the future.'

[kim]

spot on GIRL, agree with every word, but will be pissed when grubby greenlee leaves and the loser ryan has a LIGH blub moment and is once again in love with MRS.SLATER, and if kendall retruns that favor she will be DEAD to ME,,,,,,,jmo. but ryan needs TO be alone for A LONG,LONG TIME.......no more females for him to RUIN.......these women lose their minds when they become involved with him, kendall, greenlee, and now annie.....nuf already.