Truly a Reason to Give Thanks: A GH Episode That Was Not Terrible

Before anyone complains about this looong recap and me fawning over Patrick, bitching about how ugly Robin's shirts are, and drooling over Becky Herbst's bone structure, please remember that a slight majority of you sort-of asked for this. 

Thank you.

We open with Patrick hotly arriving home from the hospital to Robin, who seems gloomy, prompting Patrick to hotly question "Baby, what's wrong?"  She's just new-mom exhausted, having not had time to clean the house or change her clothes or remove the eau de baby spit-up that Emma gave her.  They adorably cuddle on the couch while Patrick hotly tells her he had a day from hell, including a 10-hour surgery on a little boy.  Robin has had a busy day and rattles off a litany of things, including Mac calling about having bought a huge turkey (aw!).  Robin asks what Patrick would have been doing over the holidays in his bachelor days, and while he says he'd have been someplace tropical, Robin points out that she met him in December and he was very much not in the tropics, in fact she walked in on him in the hospital shagging a nurse.  He says she should have knocked.  Ha. 

Patrick looks like he is going to fall asleep sitting up while Robin gets all deep:

Robin:  You know, sometimes it's crazy to think that just one decision can change your entire life.  Like if you turn left then one thing will happen ... I don't know, there's ... I know there's a name for it, I just can't think of it right now.
Patrick:  It's the Butterfly Effect.
Robin:  I'm in love with a really smart man.
Patrick:  Yes, you am.  They say when a ... lay down [Robin cutely puts her head on a pillow in his lap] ... they say when a butterfly flaps its wings in China, it changes the weather in New York.  Some people call it fate; that destiny is inevitable.  And if you're meant to love someone, you will love them, no matter when or how you met.

As Robin dozes off, we get the classic tingly sounds and fuzzy screen that let you know we're in a soapy dream/alternate reality. 

Epiphany, Kelly, and Lainey greet Robin, who has just arrived from a visit to Paris yet inexplicably is wearing a hideously ugly top.  Robin is laden with gifts for her roomies, Lainey and Kelly, and for Epiphany.  I should focus on something else, like how different must Epiphany be in an alternate reality to deserve a gift from Paris, but I am fixated on this shirt.  Oh, Alternate Reality Robin, you disappoint me. 

This thing is equal parts maddening and confusing.  It's like Gunne Sax tried to make club wear.

Robin wants to know what's new, and what's new is a neurosurgeon named Patrick Drake.  He is "smokin' hot" according to Kelly, and we know she is correct because 1) even a broken clock is right twice a day, and 2) her variable group by which to measure hotness is enormous.  Lainey and Epiphany fill in that he's also an arrogant horndog, but Kelly is stuck on the hot part.  As she always . . . No, you know what?  I'm not going to make the easy slut joke there.  I'm taking a stand!

Robin checks herself out in the locker room mirror and somehow manages not to rip that hideola top right off her tiny frame.  Perhaps given another minute she would have, but she's distracted by giggling coming from the shower. 

Of course, Patrick is in there with a nurse.  Leyla, to be precise.  Kimberly McCullough demonstrates reason #178 she is awesome with this Expression Hall of Fame-worthy "Leyla?!"

A shirtless and kind of douchebaggy Patrick is all "we're a little busy in here."  Let's focus less on the douchebaggy, more on the shirtless, shall we?  And the hotness.

The regular credits play, to remind you of the shitfest you have to suffer through every other day of the year to get this one holiday-themed mob-free nugget of soapiness. 

Patrick and Robin argue over the best course of treatment for a patient.  There are multiple lines of dialogue, on General Hospital and in General Hospital, about the treatment of a patient who is not there as the result of a mob war or monkey virus.  Woohoo!  Anyway, it devolves into Robin making a comment about Patrick's proclivity towards schtupping nurses, and Patrick replies with the I-didn't-know-you-could-say-that-on-daytime and supremely dickish "When's the last time you got laid, Dr. Scorpio?"  In response to Robin (and my) WTF expressions, he continues with "Really, that long huh?  Well I highly recommend it.  Let me know if you need help with that."  Okay, I object.  That is not banter!  That's just un-witty nastiness.  And un-witty nastiness is for regular reality General Hospital, not alternate reality, pretend-the-mob-crap-hasn't-eaten-my-show General Hospital!

Patrick orders a beer from Coleman.  This is their first meeting, and Patrick helpfully exposits that he moved to Port Charles about a month ago.  They have a moment of boy banter:

Patrick:  Patrick Drake.
Coleman:  Coleman.  It's just Coleman.  Sorta like Elvis or Fabio.
Patrick:  Or Cher.

Ha!  Also, how have I ever noticed how much Blake Gibbons looks like a mid-80s Kurt Russell? 

Perhaps it's because I don't often get to see half of Overboard at 2am on cable because I can't sleep due to being unable to stop making work-related to-do lists both in my head and on the notebook I now keep on my nightstand.  But I did this week!  I'm a lucky girl. 

(BTW, I had to look up Blake Gibbons' name, and is this an okay time to mention that I think it's so bizarre that there are Wikipedia entries for random fictional characters?)

Anyway, Coleman asks how Patrick likes the town and Dr. Drake hilariously responds that he likes it, except last night he got woken up by either a car backfiring or gunfire, he's not sure which yet.  Coleman tells him to get used to it.  Awesome Writer hates Bob Guza.  It's so wonderful.

Patrick and Coleman discuss Robin, family (the reason Patrick moved to Port Charles is because his "father used to work here"), and Patrick's happiness with being an only child.

Cut, of course, to Matt, telling Leyla he has an appointment with the chief of staff (who is not Patrick, because even this alternate reality doesn't take that ridiculous step that the otherwise almost non-mockable second season of Night Shift did).  I say of course, but if you missed the one day of the brotherly reveal, you could have been watching GH for months and not know Matt is Patrick's brother.  Strike number infinity against the Guza team.

Matt's in a suit with his hair slicked back, no facial hair.  He's very Eddie Haskel-ish.  Matt kind of flirts with Leyla but she's nonplussed.

In the locker room, Robin protests too much about Patrick and how no woman in her right mind would hit that (girl, please), while Lainey and Kelly literally and verbally roll their eyes and tell her they're taking her out drinking because she needs to chill.  On the way out, Robin pauses to point out Leyla and how she's too good for Patrick.  I watched the first season of Night Shift, so I'm going to have to disagree.

The ladies show up at Jake's, where Patrick is still parked at the bar.  Coleman informs Robin that Patrick's been talking about her and Robin basically tells Coleman to tell Patrick that he can come over and sit with them.  OMG, pass a note in study hall much?  Coleman relays the message and Patrick seems like he's headed over to Robin and her crew but then play-fakes and goes over to flirt with a woman playing pool who is, it saddens me to report, CARLY.  Robin seethes.  (It could be over Patrick flirting with Carly, or the fact that she's still wearing that offensively unattractive top.)

Another month has passed, and Robin and Patrick are once again arguing over a patient.  But the heavens open up and ALAN walks out of the elevator, restored in this reality to his rightful position as a very much alive, non-track-suit-wearing chief of staff.   

(Lookin' good, Stuart Damon!)  Alan has to lecture Patrick and Robin about getting along, and introduces the newest neurosurgeon on the staff, Dr. Matt Hunter.  Robin introduces herself to Matt rather flirtatiously.  Patrick is pissed, allegedly because Alan hired Matt into Patrick's department without consultation but probably really because Robin is flirting with Matt.  Matt's all hey, by the way, I'm your brother.  That was about the level of attention the reveal in the real reality got, so I'll let it go.

Patrick vents at Carly at Jake's about his dad never telling him about Matt.  It's obvious that it's an alternate reality because Carly is actually kind of a good listener and genuinely empathetic.

In the locker room, Robin and Matt continue to chat.  Robin runs down Patrick and Matt asks her out.  Robin gives the "my life is complicated" line in return.  Burn.

At the nurses' station, Patrick flirts with Elizabeth and tries to ask her out, but she knows he's seeing someone.  Matt comes out and Patrick picks a fight with him about a patient.  Robin shows up at that point to call Patrick a bully, and then accuses Patrick of taking his daddy issues out on Matt.  Matt thanks Robin for her intervention after Patrick storms off to report Matt to Alan.  Robin accepts Matt's dinner invitation.

Side note:  Special thanks to reader Brianne for hooking me up with the segments of this episode I had missed originally because of a special news report about the horrible events in Mumbai.  On a normal GH day I would have been grateful to be spared a handful of scenes, but for once I actually wanted to see them.  And I got to view them on a legal site and everything.  Thanks, Brianne!

Robin and Matt are on their date, at the Metro Court.  Robin partly restores her fashion cred by wearing a somewhat cute dress, though it's oddly ill-fitting. 

Her first date chatter is quickly interrupted by Carly, who is at a nearby table overlaughing at one of Patrick's jokes that cannot possibly have been that funny.  Cram it, Katie Holmes.

Robin asks if Matt wants to relocate but he says no, Patrick shouldn't have a lock on that place.  Meanwhile Patrick has presented Carly with NASCAR tickets for a weekend away including "hot sex."  I do not like this Patrick, hence the reason you've noticed that "hotly" has not made a recent appearance.  Carly turns down Patrick's surprisingly unsexy proposal and then dumps him.  Ha! 

Robin wants to know what's going over at Patrick's table and is giving Matt a running commentary on Patrick's uncomfortable body language.  Matt does that thing TV characters do where they talk about randomly insane stuff to prove the other person isn't listening.  Jason Thompson does a great job of playing Patrick's reaction to the dumping as one of total confusion. 

"But I never get dumped." 

Robin clues in that in fact Patrick is being dumped, and doesn't understand why Matt isn't as gleeful as she is about this development. 

Matt realizes this is becoming the date from hell and wants them to get out of there, but Robin keeps rambling on, dropping a couple of notches in my book by describing Carly as "literally a walking trainwreck" -- not possible, Robin!  She actually shushes Matt as he tries to get her attention, and then we cut to Carly telling Patrick that maybe they "can be friends" as she heads out the door.  Dude, harsh.  Robin jumps out of her chair and plops down in the now-empty one at Patrick's table, so that she is in closer proximity for more vicious mocking.  Patrick responds to the mocking by renewing his offer to help Robin let go of a little of her pent-up stress.  Robin says a very Palin-esque "thanks but no thanks" and adds that she's "here with someone."  Patrick points to the vacant chair formerly known as Matt's as evidence that in fact she is not.  Yikes.  You kind of got pwned there, Dr. Scorpio.

Maxie, in hellaciously awful extensions, shows up at the nurses' station and asks if Robin is there. 

Matt says she isn't and is kind of rude, which Maxie points out, and Matt apologizes and explains he's had a crappy night.  Maxie suggests they start all over and begins to introduce herself but then -- in the nod to Belle and Shawn that 'shippers everywhere have been waiting for for months -- asks "Actually, did we go to school together or something?"  These two have good chemistry.  On regular GH, why is Maxie becoming a mafia princess and Matt is invisible?  God, that show is terrible.

They continue to chat (flirt) until Robin arrives.  I cannot overstate how bad Maxie's hair is, BTW.

Anyway, Robin arrives and Maxie takes off.  Robin apologizes to Matt for being rude and hopes that Matt will let her make it up to him.

Meanwhile Patrick shows up at Jake's, where Elizabeth, Lainey, and Kelly are hanging out.  The two least competent doctors in town leave Elizabeth unaccompanied, which Coleman, in a roses analogy I am not going to repeat because it would make me feel dirty, points out to Patrick.  He joins Elizabeth and inside of 30 seconds he tells Elizabeth that Carly dumped him. 

Side note:  I know we mention it a lot around here, but seriously, Rebecca Herbst is insanely beautiful.  I still want her to go back to the dark hair, but even those highlights can't really dim her skin and bone structure. 

Life and genetics are not fair.

Liz starts to take off but Patrick wants her to stay.  He turns on the charm and somehow manages to convince her to dance in the otherwise empty Jake's to a song on the jukebox, something that only happens on soap operas.  Just as they start, Robin and Matt show up. 

Patrick asks Liz to head "someplace that's not so crowded," which of course means go somewhere to Do It.  They take off and then Robin and Matt dance on the nonexistent dance floor.   

All of these alternate couples have really good chemistry, which just further proves that regular recipe GH is a disaster, since couples with great chemistry are about as rare in Port Charles as days without mob wars.

Patrick and Robin are in the locker room -- stop me if you've heard this before -- arguing about a patient.  Worth noting:  Patrick is shirtless.  He busts out with the classic "you're adorable when you're mad," causing Robin to reach for her temple and me to ponder reinstatement of "hotly." 

I'm easy, what can I say?

Click here for the rest of Truly a Reason to Give Thanks:  A GH Episode That Was Not Terrible

Comments

[Kathy]

This TG episode proved to me that Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson as Robin and Patrick truly belong together.

This is one couple I could watch read the phone book and make it sexy and hot!

You can have good looking people paired together but without that special something be it chemistry or whatever you want to call it, it means and does nothing. Robin with Matt and Patrick with Liz and Carly proved that. Patrick and Robin are "IT".

Kimberly and Jason Thompson have that whatever, effortless, natural, realistic chemistry that comes across in their scenes.

All I saw was actors doing their craft until Robin and Patrick were in the TG scenes where Scrubs amazing chemistry jumped off the screen.

I have loved and never been bored with this couple from their first meeting where she told him, I need a miracle and your it.

This episode proved to me that PATRICK & ROBIN BELONG TOGETHER and ALWAYS Will

[Noelle]

I liked Robin's wardrobe in this ep. I thought she looked super cute.

I didn't think Patrick/Liz or Robin/Matt had any romantic or sexual chemistry at all; that was awkward. But I do like them all together; they have a good friendship vibe.

I agree, Carly totally did not belong on this episode. This should have featured the hospital side of the canvas, only. Carly threw it off. They just HAD to stick her in there, didn't they?

It WAS wonderful to see Alan alive again, though.

I love the screencaps you have of Patrick getting dumped and Robin gleefully laughing about it. lol That was too cute.

I agree, the episode was most definitely not perfect, but I loved the concept. There was more they could have done with it, but at least Robin and Patrick got a whole episode devoted to them and their love story. Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson continue to amaze and be magical together.

Thanks for *finally* recapping. lol I love to read your take on things.

[Bianca]

I enjoyed this day in an alternate universe. My only note is that a shaved Jason Cook more closely resembles Eddie Munster, than Eddie Haskell. I've always thought he was cute, but I really miss the beard!

[Sarah]

How freaking awesome was it to see Alan back alive and well as COS? SD has lost weight and looked incredibly handsome and healthy in his suit. I can only hope his tragic firing/ghostdom has been good for his health and is making him happy. He is a great actor and I miss him. Rumor has it he and Monica have an epi like this at XMas, will Carly be in that one too? (disgusted eyeroll here)

And Pip was not only nice and friendly, but so much so she warranted presents?!?!? Talk about an alternate reality. I LOVE THIS PIP!!!!! She didn't screech once or bark orders either. Damn, AW has balls.

For all it's good points and many missed opportunities at greatness this episode proves GH is not beyond repair. Which is why I can't give it up no matter how horrible it is on a daily basis. DAMN AW & Scrubs hotly doing everything from hilarious expressions to bonding over baby beauty Emma. And for me to feel that way about an epi where Carly was propped as a good friend and Leyla got shower nookie w/ douchey Patty is a freaking miracle. Those scenes were like ipicac. ( sp.?, you know the vomit inducing syrup)

[Sarah]

How freaking awesome was it to see Alan back alive and well as COS? SD has lost weight and looked incredibly handsome and healthy in his suit. I can only hope his tragic firing/ghostdom has been good for his health and is making him happy. He is a great actor and I miss him. Rumor has it he and Monica have an epi like this at XMas, will Carly be in that one too? (disgusted eyeroll here)

And Pip was not only nice and friendly, but so much so she warranted presents?!?!? Talk about an alternate reality. I LOVE THIS PIP!!!!! She didn't screech once or bark orders either. Damn, AW has balls.

For all it's good points and many missed opportunities at greatness this episode proves GH is not beyond repair. Which is why I can't give it up no matter how horrible it is on a daily basis. DAMN AW & Scrubs hotly doing everything from hilarious expressions to bonding over baby beauty Emma. And for me to feel that way about an epi where Carly was propped as a good friend and Leyla got shower nookie w/ douchey Patty is a freaking miracle. Those scenes were like ipicac. ( sp.?, you know the vomit inducing syrup)

[Chad]

I skimmed through at first without realizing that it's a "parallel universe" episode and thought that Alan Quartermaine had been brought back! I should have known that wouldn't have happened under Guza (unless it was to kill him again in the same episode).

[natty3]

yeah you recapped ! i thought the episode was so much better than gh, but i thought it could have been better. this was a dream after all we could have seen patrick dating some real outside the box people that he never interacts with like Alexis or Sam. i was so dissapointed to see they had him with Carly. U r right they dress robin terribly, she's so tiny and cute i cant beleive they cant find anyting else for her to wear. I can see where you are coming from about blake gibbons looking like kurt russell, i also see josh brolin in no country for old men as well. Patrick as usual super hot. i m hoping they give maxie and matt a shot, anything to keep her away from that doofus spinelli and the borg

[natty3]

yeah you recapped ! i thought the episode was so much better than gh, but i thought it could have been better. this was a dream after all we could have seen patrick dating some real outside the box people that he never interacts with like Alexis or Sam. i was so dissapointed to see they had him with Carly. U r right they dress robin terribly, she's so tiny and cute i cant beleive they cant find anyting else for her to wear. I can see where you are coming from about blake gibbons looking like kurt russell, i also see josh brolin in no country for old men as well. Patrick as usual super hot. i m hoping they give maxie and matt a shot, anything to keep her away from that doofus spinelli and the borg

[Caitlin]

I'm sad I missed this for Alan alone, but I'm sure reading your excellent recap is better for me in the long run than getting back in the habit of tuning into this dreck would have been.

[Caitlin]

I'm sad I missed this for Alan alone, but I'm sure reading your excellent recap is better for me in the long run than getting back in the habit of tuning into this dreck would have been.

[Lizzle]

Oh how I wish regular this was regular GH and the other was a nightmare of one of the dumber characters. In no particular order things I loved about this episode: Scrubs (but of course), Alan looking dapper and alive, Maxie & Matt and their oodles of chemistry, and Jason being dead from brain failure or whatever. By the way, Awesome Writer is extra awesome for leaving subtle clues Jason was DEAD and not having anyone mourn him blatantly. Tehehe!

[Jennifer]

Finally, I was waiting for this recap.

I loved it.

I enjoyed the episode but thought it could have been better.

But I would totally join Patrick for a date at the races. Anytime anywhere

[Karolen]

jay-z+beyonce+laker games=patrick+robin+car racing

[MGH]

Yay! I've been waiting for this.

I didn't think it was odd that Patrick was dating Carly. This was Robin's dream and in the early stages of their relationship, Patrick use to use Carly to make Robin jealous on several occasions. He also flirted with Liz in the beginning to make Robin jealous as well. What I did find strange was that Robin was dating Matt. I think they could have tied Matt into the episode another way without him being Robin's "boyfriend". I think it would have been better if they used Nikolas because Patrick was jealous of him a lot in the beginning.

There were quite a few flaws, but I still loved this episode. It was really cute and showed that Patrick and Robin are meant to be, as long as the writers don't eff it up.

[Jennifer]

I'm sorry but I don't buy for one second that Robin would have Carly in her dream. Seriously?!, Seriously?! yeah, ok.

Love the recap, though. You ladies ROCK!!!

[Sue]

WHY are Matt and Maxie not playing against each other on regular GH? WHY? WHY?!!

I didn't even LIKE Shawn and Belle, but - it boggles the mind. Here you have two actors, with no other viable options (Spinelli - hahahahaha), who were a POPULAR couple on another soap, and you aren't playing them together because - why? Why?

Good lord. This show.

[Trish]

Thanks for the recap--- GH would be wonderful again if more shows were like this one-- MOB FREE!!!

Highlight-- Alan alive and well as the COS ( I liked this part of Robin's dream)....

Think Matt and Maxie should be given a chance-- but won't happen because he is not a mob figure---

why oh why must the show revolve around the mob...

Love in the afternoon-- I remember when this was ABC 's tag line-- I want to see more romance-more couples to root for, more love,

always enjoy your recaps

[1986]

I totally thought Matt & Robin were cute aswell. I would be ALL for that, if it wasn't for the fact that I love Scrubs and I desperately want to see Matt & Maxie together. (Why the HELL hasn't that happened yet? I mean, Spinelli? Really??)

[Rain StormRaider]

This episode was the one of the only ones I've watched where Rebecca Herbst seemed to actually enjoy her scenes and dialogue...where Stuart Damon wasn't wasted...plus nothing beats Shelle chemistry....oops....I meant M&M chemistry!

Lastly, why can't alternate-GH be the ONLY GH....I might watch again if it did....

Sidenote: Did anyone catch the AWESOME Robert and Anna scenes this past week?

Sigh.....I miss the days before GH became the Kelly Monaco Show.....

[buy viagra]

It is a great show, well it was as I no longer see it on regular tv.