I Guess Unintentional Entertainment Is Better Than No Entertainment...

Last week, I was ready to declare Emma In The Tree the cheesiest, most embarrassing soap moment of 2009, even though we're not even two full months into the year, because, hello, what could possibly top a child being stuffed in a tree for safe keeping?

A hysterical bride, veil and all, on a motorcycle flying straight off the road just might. It just might.

 

 

And to think, people make fun of this high-quality genre of television!

poll by twiigs.com

Comments

[Sarah]

Dear Mallory,

All four of the above choices are most excellent. And shameful. But somethings on GH during this "crisis" have been insanely cheesy and idiotic and I think they deserve a shout out.

1. How NOBODY seems to be in any kind of hurry to leave the building that is both on fire and filled with weapons grade poison fumes. Do these people vacation in Bagdad?

2. Kate's incessant whining about the DVD in said crisis. This is her third or fourth near death experience in PC and it does not phase her at all. I'm pretty sure Anna Wintour would have left this hell hole of a city after the first time her couture was riddled with bullets and blood. Hell, she would have bolted after one viewing of Sonny's shiny "gangster" suits. And does anyone buy into the familial love between Kate and Olivia? Kate swears this DVD is more important than her own life and Olivia gets a hold of it finally and then DESTROYS it without knowing shit about it? Ah, what a family.

3. Is Sam going to be falling off every damn building and bridge in town? And this better not lead to another 'hero" TV show. At least there was no craptastic CGI today. Just toxic balls wearing thin from stomach acid resting safely in hero Jason's magic shooting hands?

Where do I get a vail/helmet? Anyone who marries Sonny should wear one for safety in the church along with a bullet proof wedding gown. Rebecca Budig should keep that one, for one she joins GH to play Sonny's next moll.

[Sarah]

I forgot one more cheesy oddity that perplexed me. Earlier in the week Sam and Spinelli were talking and she told him how much he reminded her of her brother. Note, her brother died in the monkey virus crisis at GH.

Before his death, as cheap ploy like all the other crisis deaths Guza has piled up mountain high, he was a mentally challenged young man living at a school or group home for mentally challenged adults paid for by Jason. He loved repairing motors if I recall. But mentally and emotionally he was a young child unable to care for himself.

Sam went on and on about their similarities and Spinelli glowed in the praised comparison. She however left out the reality of her brother. I am NOT saying anything negative about the mentally challenged. But don't you think Spinelli might have been hurt or insulted to be compared so thoroughly to a young man in that situation?

Not that they are not similar. Seriously, both are idiot savants of a sort with a singular real world skill who can't live without St. Jasus. At least her brother spoke more proficiently.

Now on top of Spinelli we also have to endure Winifred. They make my head hurt. Cheesy dialogue is all Spin and Win have to offer besides annoyance.

Cheese Crap Moron Mobsters and Toxic Balls, the real GH.

[Beth R.]

If it meant getting away from Ryan or Jason permanently...I'd take Greenlee's route....just saying it has its advantages.

[Lisa]

I watched Emma in the tree on Youtube, and I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't find it that crazy. I mean, bears and squirrels hibernate in trees...why wouldn't that be warmer than out in a Kleenex storm?

Now, I've only see the crazy bride on the bike in the ad, but I laughed and laughed, cruelly, so I that has my vote. It was just so weird. Why would you keep the freakin' veil on? Is she fleeing her groom, or rushing to her wedding? If she's fleeing, toss it baby. If she's rushing, it's ruined anyway. Tuck it in your pocket. I had two friends have to change a tire in their bridesmaids' dresses. Trust me, that veil would be toast.

[Heather]

I said it a week ago, Biker Bride was going to be my favoritest ever ever monment ever.

I think Sam hanging off the GH roof for an eternity and Jason saving her and then catching the vile of earth-destroying toxin in mid-air deserves an honorary mention.

[danny]

For some reason, all I could think of during Greenlee's aerial show was a scene from "Young Frankenstein" where Peter Boyle's Frankenstein sends a young girl flying through the air while see-sawing with her. It was hilarious and that movie rocks. Greenlee's death is pretty funny too, in a "death by peanut butter and banana pancakes" sort of way.

[tl;dr]

...

[Mallory]

Etiquette Reminder: let's reserve our bitchiness for the show runners, not other commenters, please. Thank you!

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I don't even watch AMC, but just the constant promos on SoapNet of the Flying Bride is enough to make me alternately laugh hysterically and drink like a fish.

[Susan]

Gonna have to go with the bride on the bike. I didn't get it while I was watching it and I still don't get it now. Who the hell takes off on a bike in a wedding dress unless they are being rescued by Bo Brady?!

[Simone]

I can't decide. Robin putting Emma in the tree was stupid, but Greenlee on the bike in her wedding dress was comedy gold. It is moments like these that I am embarrassed to admit that watch soap operas. I'll think on it some more and vote in the morning.

[Heather]

"Who the hell takes off on a bike in a wedding dress unless they are being rescued by Bo Brady?!"

I KNEW this was missing something! You can't have a bride on a bike without "Holding Out for a Hero" blasting along.

[Simone]

I finally voted. I went for Greenlee's wedding dress bike ride. It was too hysterical to pass up.