This Is One Instance Where I'm Not Upset To Have Been Wrong

If you had told me a few months ago that I would be loving The Young and the Restlesswithout reason, and that I'd be loving stories involving Lily and Cane, and Tammin Sursok in particular, I would have, not in a rude way but more in a "Aww, you're crazy" kind of way, laughed in your face. Because the very idea is laughable! The Saccharine Duo and the girl who launched a thousand "Tammin Sure Sucks" Google searches? HA!

But here we are in February of 2009, and they, along with nearly every other story on Y&R, are appointment viewing.

Sharon hooking up with Billy was bizarre, came out of nowhere and was an extraordinarily bad idea, but...I do not blame her for doing it.

I am just saying.

Watching her go on a downward spiral has been equal parts entertaining and irksome. Something about watching Sharon impulsively steal stupid knickknacks is delightful, in an Afterschool Special kind of way. You can almost hear the voice of a patronizing narrator. But ugh! Self destructing because your ex-husband--and not even your most recent, most awesome ex-husband!--didn't acknowledge your anniversary? Lame. I wish that this had started solely because Noah almost died, and had nothing to do with the Nick/Phyllis/Sharon triangle.

Watching Jack be super awesome and supportive and full of good advice and seeing Sharon and Billy squirm has been excellent, though.

Billy: I'm on my way to the shower. And I actually have a change of clothes right here in my office.

Jack: Wow. Stale booze and... expensive perfume and yesterday's clothes. Do I get to know her name?

Billy: Not a chance.

Jack: Do you even know her name?

Jack totally knew it was Sharon, right? I find him to be more perceptive than the average soap character, so I am assuming that he knows Sharon's expensive perfume, especially since fragrance and cosmetics is his thing...

Sharon: Jack?

Jack: Yeah?

Sharon: I'm really messed up.

Jack: Yeah, we're all messed up. I'm here to help, Sharon. No strings.

Aww! I want a Jack Abbott of my very own to be dreamily supportive of me when I make horrendous life decisions.

Jack is also pulling the strings in a surprisingly good storyline, giving Colleen the information she needs in order to claim Brad's seat on the Newman board. Sure, she is staggeringly unqualified and I have a few qualms about putting Tammin Sursok in a big, grown-up story story with Peter Bergman, Eileen Davidson, Kristoff St. John and all, but...I don't know, I thought it was a great move.

Victor: All right, Colleen. If you would like to say a few words about your father.

Colleen: My father cherished his spot on this board. It was a symbol of how far he'd come from a very modest beginning. Brad Carlton never took for granted what he attained in life. It is out of respect for him that I have decided to take over his seat on this board. In accordance with article 7, subparagraph 53 of the Newman bylaws.

Victor: Well, now, Colleen, you are a very brave woman, but you are highly unqualified.

Colleen: I have every right to the seat, Victor. Maybe you have reason to come after my father, but you have no cause to come after me. So I am not going anywhere.

Especially since it gave us Neil and Victor's WTF? faces

Neil's all "YOU CAN'T TALK TO VICTOR LIKE THAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

I also really enjoyed Colleen being placed in charge of Abby's trust, like Brad was giving Ashley the finger from the great beyond.

"Dearest Ashley, I hope you don't read this for years and years. I fully intend to see Abby become an adult. Hopefully make me a grandfather one day. But we both know that in a split second, anything can happen. And I needed to be prepared. You've been a wonderful mother and I've always felt you had Abby's best interest at heart. But recently, I've begun to worry. I've tried talking to you about it, but you haven't been receptive, which is why I'm putting Colleen in control of our daughter's trust. Not because I think you'd ever misuse the funds or treat her unfairly, but because I can't predict what will happen to you in the future. No one should have to remind you how many times your life has fallen apart because of Victor Newman and the unbelievable pain and anguish he's caused you. You need to protect yourself and our daughter and not fall into that same old trap. Please, Ash, think about what I've said. Always, Brad."

Game, set, match, Bradcicle.

I love Ashley, but I cannot stand her when she's with Victor (as I cannot stand most people when they are with Victor). Telling Abby about how Victor is her father and there for her 100% when Brad's body...I guess the saying "body isn't even cold yet" doesn't so much work when a person froze to death, but you know what I mean!

I am so glad that we at least have people acting as the voice of reason, with Jack and Dead Brad are reminding her of how many times and in how many different ways Victor has screwed with her.

Like, for example, I blame Victor for this business suit that she wore:

I swear, Dorothy Zbornak wore than on an episode of The Golden Girls. Only someone like Victor would look at a suit clearly designed for a senior citizen during the Reagan administration and think it was fashionable.

Speaking of Old Vic...

Adam and Victor's moment in jail was quite good, if one ignores the fact that Victor's shirt is barely even buttoned, which I could not do all throughout this scene.

There are certain things that just need to not be, and that is one of them.

Adam's smackdown of Victor was a thing of beauty, though.

Adam: Why are you here? You just trying to make a bad day worse? You know what? I never expected much outta you, but you're the only family I've got. And you chose to let me rot in prison. Okay, Pop? The choice has been made. Have you called? Have you come by? Visited? Written a letter? Anything? So you show up here on the anniversary of my mother's death and you think that, uh... that this gesture is going to assuage your guilt. Nice touch with the Bible, by the way, but I see through it. And so did Mom, and that's why she didn't want you to have anything to do with me. If she were alive today, she wouldn't want me to have anything to do with you. So why don't you just take the bible and get out!

A little of my glee was taken away by the fact that Victor was oddly proud of his son for standing up to him like that. What fun is people hating on Victor if he gets a kick out of it?!

Also...Chris Engen rocks a beard quite nicely.

Show of hands: is there anybody at all remotely interested in the Neil/Karen/Tyra story? No, right? I won't even ask if anybody cares about Ana, because we all know that the answer is a resounding no.

The writers seem to have a firm handle on entertaining the viewers, which may seem like common sense, but that ability is something sorely lacking in their counterparts on rival shows. So why, then, are they incapable of making this story entertaining? I am routinely more interested in trips to the grocery store than I am in this story.

The raw materials for something good are there: Kristoff St. John is a fantastic actor, Nia Peeples is pretty and talented, and Eva Pigford Marcile is gorgeous (I don't really ask for much), but the writers just...don't care. And if they don't care, how can I?

I am continuing to enjoy the L/C/C/B quad, as played out as all of the individual elements might be (Paternity Scandal! Brothers Pitted Against Each Other! Good Girl Vs. Bad Girl!). I am relieved that the truth about Cordelia is out in the open and that we're not in for months, if not years, of Cane bonding with his daughter and then getting his heart stamped on in an epic way.

But I do have some questions...

Why does Cane hold Cordelia Katherine Valentine Ashby like she's a football?

Why does Billy occasionally dress like a lumberjack?

Why the eff was Lily even at the hospital? I kept wanting to shake her and tell her this has nothing to do with her. I mean, I get that she probably wants to see the drama unfold in real time, as I would if this were a real life situation, but...it's weird. And it's weird that everybody isn't asking her why she's hanging out there.

Really, no one could have explained the DNA test to Cane and Lily months ago to save us all of the drama? It took like half a second to explain!

Why did Cane sign Cordelia's birth certificate as Cane and not Ethan? Can we sign legal documents with nicknames now?

Is anyone else really looking forward to Jill finding out about the paternity scandal and yelling at people? Because I am. I so, so am.

Comments

[Lisa]

Cordelia? So not a soap chick name. I assume when Billy 'claims his daughter!' (Watch too much GH) he'll change her name to something like Hailey.

He needs to do this quick, because Y&R's SORAS vortex works even faster than other soaps. That kid will be 15 by 2011.

[Sarah]

TEAM BRADSICLE!!! I am seriously thinking about making t-shirts. If you're interested send me your color and size preferences.

Why can't Y&R do anything of interest w/ the AA characters? Since Dru was a bad ass or handling the original foster kid story line has anything happened with them that anyone is really captivated by? Yikes! I hate to think that says anything about the PTB at Y&R, but maybe the infamous spitting episode set the tone, a very ugly and offensive one. I just don't know.

Jack is delicious as usual and I pray he demolishes the Moustache.

TEAM ADAM TOO! Not t-shirt worthy but a real winning team. His father is a repeat sperm donor with no redeeming value as a father.

Thanks for the great post Mallory.

[jbj]

Gosh darn it, Chris Engen looks good with a beard. I've been trying to find clips of his episode all weekend, but all I can find are Cily and Bloe clips (not that I'm really complaining much as they are the most interesting the show has been since DamHeat).

[Mary Beth]

As a long-time and now embittered GH fan who only ever saw bits n pieces of Y&R during the Danny/Cricket/Paul days in the 80s, I started watching Y&R a few weeks ago. An ep here and there, out of curiosity. Now it has a season pass on the DVR and I watch in utter fascination at this show that writes for a wide range of characters (especially vets), acknowledges rich history, has secrets come out and messy consequences from actions and actual bedroom sets! Don't they know they're supposed to suck?

[Scout]

So check this out:

I was reading your excellent assessment of the week in Y & R and laughed at your hilarious if not harsh judgment of Ashley's boardroom attire. When I got down to the part about Jill yelling at people (one of my favorite parts of the show as well -- plus Jess Walton may be the sexiest 60 year old EVER!), I followed the link to a story about the recent Jabot takeover.

Mallory, I swear to God, Jill is wearing the same jacket as Ashley! Check it out for yourself! Are times so hard in soap land they now recycle clothes? Or maybe they've always done that.

Anyway, love your blog. It always makes my day.

[j love]

I can't believe sharon got so depressed over nick forgetting their anniversary a husband that's not even hers that's been over for years! She is the worst and a wh*re she really disgusts me. Grow up sharon and get a man of your own.

[JC]

Sharon's breakdown is a culmanation of things and not just Nick forgetting their anniversary. It's that she still loves him and he choose Phyllis, it's the she feels completely lost. She stealing random knick knacks, is one way she can feel in control and is a common sign of a breakdown.

[chaosrainz]

Chris Engen in the beard... oh yeah, baby. But I thought Adam was off base. Uhmmm... dude, you're sitting the same place you tried to put your own said ONLY family member. The whole trying to frame him for murder slip your mind? He's got just the tiniest iota of a reason to be UBER pissed at you! If I were Victor, I'd be more proud if Adam would stop with the poor me routine. He's no innocent in his fate.

Jack has been the best lately, but I don't think he knows about Billy and Sharon yet but I bet he puts the pieces together soon.

LOL about Cane holding the baby like that. I was having the same thoughts last week.
(Daniel Goddard was here in town at the car show this weekend but I had to work.:( Otherwise, I'd have asked him! lol)

As a former GH watcher, THIS is what a good soap should be. I mean there is room for improvement but it's so far above GH at this point it's unreal.

And THANK YOU for asking why the hell Lily is hanging around in Chloe's hopsital room. I've been going ballistic about that and I'm pretty sure I now have a tumor in my brain from trying to figure that one out. It makes Lily look REALLY pathetic.

[Goddess]

Sharon gave up the right to be upset about Nick forgetting their "anniversaries" when they got divorced. They no longer HAVE anniversaries, just memories of past ones. She needs to MOVE ON. She wants new guys, as long as she can hang on to all the old guys, too.

[kate]

Hah! Totally wanted to comment on Cane holding the "baby" scenes. I'd love to see a nurse's reaction when he/she walks into a room seeing someone hold a newborn solely by the neck.

Yeah yeah sharon "loves" nick is it the same way she " loved" brad? Or victor(nicks father?) Or jack? She is a horrible person and yes the lady is a tramp. Sleeping with your current husbands brother while you act so depressed over a marriage that had been over for years what a joke!.

[Sue]

I am so glad someone else had a problem with Cane signing his nickname onto the birth certificate!!
I love the snarky posts but I will still not pretend to even remotely like Jack!
I SOOOO wish Colleen could hear Jack refer to her beloved dad as the Bradsicle! Wouldn't that be an eye opener about her Uncle Jack!!

[Sina]

Telling Abby about how Victor is her father and there for her 100% when Brad's body...I guess the saying "body isn't even cold yet" doesn't so much work when a person froze to death, but you know what I mean!

seriously you are too funny!