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« Our Column in the 3/31 Issue of Soap Opera Digest | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

March 24, 2009

The Day's Dumbest Dialogue

I should know better than to expect the writing on General Hospital to be anything other than loosely connected, poorly conceived plot points, but sometimes I still find myself shocked by just how asinine this show can be.


Let me get this straight: Jerry claims to care for his brother more than anything in the world. Jerry has a secret that could potentially ruin his brother's (who he cares for more than anything in the world)life and marriage. Jerry, in order to spare his brother (who he cares for more than anything in the world) pain and disaster...shares the very secret that could ruin his life?

Jerry:Carly was always ambivalent at best about me. In all fairness, I put her through hell at the Metro Court. If she should find out that I was partly to blame for Michael getting shot, it might alter her feelings towards you. After all, motherly love isn't entirely rational. So, hear me, Jax. What happened to Michael isn't your fault. It's Claudia Zacchara's. It's mine. And most of all, that idiot Ian Devlin, who is very lucky to be dead at this point. You're the one person in the world that I most care about, Jax. Now that you know the truth, maybe you can find a way to avert disaster.

That is the very definition of illogical. It is also the very definition of "shlock".

I will give the writers this, though: Jerry is probably the most consistently written character on canvas. He joined the show in a ludicrous storyand he left the show in a ludicrous story (leaving aside the dumbness of burdening Jax with this secret...how did he have the time to film these DVDs and hide them all over Sonny's?). That kind of character continuity is pretty much unheard of these days!


Clearly Jerry's rational thougth process is because he doesn't suffer from PPD.

Wasn't Jerry Jax on before...in the 90's? ((shrug)) I don't know. I haven't watched this show consistently in such a massive while that, eh, whatevs. I guess he's too old for the show now for Goozuh's taste.

I hate this show.


You forgot to say ... he comes back to the show in a ludicrous story! I wish he would just DIE!

Jerry was on before - and was short and brunette - and made it up to the wedding day with Bobbie before disappearing. And, while he had some questionable business methods, he was actually sane.

THIS Jerry was tall and blonde, acted like he didn't even know who this Bobbie person was, and was a psychopath. Credit the brilliant writing at GH for that turn around.

And could this latest reason to potentially come between Jax and Carly be any more contrived? And I'm not even sure contrived is the right word - illogical perhaps, ridiculous, ludicrous, pathetic? if you are going to be this pointless in coming up with a reason for a future obstacle, why not just be honest with the stupidity of it all and just say Carly is going to separate from Jax (and inevitably wind up in Sonny's arms / bed for the 1000th time) because once, ten years ago, Jax owned a a gun and because Michael was shot with a gun, Jax is to blame. and Carly won't be able to get past it.

Really, why not just go all out stupid and it least make it a comedy rather than just a pathetic attempt at daytime drama.

Ah, one more day of employment for Guza, Phelps, Fronz - and one more day closer to cancellation. Keep up the good work team!

God bless anyone getting through GH I left a year ago and haven't looked back, nor has my keeping up with the soap(inadvertently) through blogs given me any reason to go back. When Carly thought she was pregnant after LimoSex and tried to pass the (thankfully nonexistent) kid off as Jason's instead of her supposedly happily married husband's I was just done. You should watch a soap to be entertained, not to get upset, between Carly Lulu Sonny Jason and Sam, I'd just had it. It is so sad, GH was my favorite show in the 90's.

I'm just so glad Sebastion is off this hideous show and over killing the crap out of people on 24 that I'll take what I can get!

Sebastian was great on 24. Too bad he took a screwdriver to the chest and board across that beautiful face. LOL Anne Wershing (Agent Renee Walker) is doing awesome on 24 also. I guess the moral of the story is: GH sucks.

I actually caught some of that Jerry Jax on the DVD, despite not watching this show for a year-and-a-half. There aren't enough synonyms for the word "stupid." I found myself laughing, and then turned off the TV without a second thought. I am so over this show.

When will Guza be fired?

Liked Sebastian Roche, hated notJerry Jax. Both a waste of a good actor and a desecration of a character. Heck, at least he could have been a heretofore UNSEEN Jax brother. Reminded me of when Drake Hogestyn replaced Wayne Northrup, and everyone pretended that OF COURSE he's Roman Brady.

Mike, you forgot to mention that in addition to looking completely different, the two incarnations of Jerry Jax had ACCENTS FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!! lol.

This might be the first time in years that there is not one single storyline on this show that I care about right now. And that is saying a lot, because even with the massive suckage of legacy characters Emily and Georgie being murdered by a previously dead Diego for no logical reason, there were other things going on that I found somewhat interesting. Or not terrrible. Not the case any more.

Even Spixie is ruined because 5 minutes after Maxie confessed her love to Spinelli, she was macking with Johnny. (In a limo, for christ's sake! Guza is nothing if not consistent about the wrong things.) That, and Spinelli continues to break the law and worship a hitman. Kinda kills the mood for me. Oh, and Winnie, aka Jackal-with-a-vagina. Do not get me started on how I hate Spinelli around her. And hate her around... well, air.

And everything else sucks even worse. Big middle finger to ya, Guza.

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