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« Soap Blog Coalition | Main | The Melrose Revamp Ill-Advisedly Continues »

April 02, 2009

It's Like Quality Is Punishable By Law, Or Something

If I have to give General Hospital credit for anything, it is the continuing employment of Awesome Writer, because it means that there is a chance, tiny though it may be, that, in between the oodles of badness, there will be a scene, or a part of a scene or, more rarely, entire storylines that are well-written, engrossing and entertaining.

All My Children has no such writer. Indeed, I imagine the AMC writing staff to be a set of one-uppers, each more determined than the next to craft something wholly awful (that has to be what is happening, right? I mean, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I won't feel safe sleeping at night if I know that people who think AMC is creative genius are roaming the streets).

Like...okay, Kendall woke up from her coma at the end of January. In the three months that she was in the coma, everything that happened can pretty much be summed up with "People torched the hell out of Kendall's life". And then she wakes up and over the course of the next two months, she is freaked out by the fact that her husband and sister had a baby, and is freaked out by Reese just...being, and then everyone gets pissed at her because she's not all peachy keen with the Flowers in the Attic turn her life has taken without her knowing, and then she's kind of mean to Reese (Which, AS IF the rest of Pine Valley wasn't dying to be just as mean) and then Reese kisses her husband and her best friend tries to confront Zach about the kiss (which really had nothing to do with her but hey, why write popular character s off of the show with anything resembling respect or good storytelling when we can just drive them off a cliff in a wedding gown on a motorcycle?) and winds up riding her motorcycle off of a cliff and then Zach takes responsibility for it, which leads Kendall's caveman ex-boyfriend to declare war on him and then Reese goes blind and then Zach leaves and Greenlee's body is found and Kendall has sex with Ryan and then Zach serves her with divorce papers and she's all conflicted.

The writers, completely oblivious to the fact that this should have been playing out over the course of a year, not months, are now like, "But WHAT ELSE can we do? This OBVIOUSLY isn't enough story for Kendall and Zach. This is getting boring! Oh! I know! DYING BABY! HIGH FIVE!"


Because dying unconscious children are exactly what viewers tune in for!

No matter what head writer the show has, AMC is remarkably consistent in its willingness to go to the "maimed and/or deathly ill child" well. Of all of the places for them to exhibit continuity!


I think the only next step for these "one-uppers" is for Kendall to spontaneously combust and burst into flames. And at this rate of speed she should be smokin' in about three weeks. So say bye bye to the great curls. AMC is like a drag race to hell on crack.

Wanna see real drama, great writing, and a nice touch of soapiness? Watch the series finale of ER tonight. The casting of Reese Benton alone did me in. Three delightful hours spent watching network TV I actually don't want back. Take notes Frons, if your shows are all going down the drain try to do it with some attempt at greatness.

I think that GH has fired Awesome Writer because he or she has been missing for months.

It's so funny that you mentioned this because Michael E. Knight was on buzzworthy radio and talking about how Chuck Pratt loves to move story like a speeding train, without no thought to characterization or anything like that. He mentioned that Pratt said that one day, the character will do one thing, and then a month later reverse himself. Because apparently that is good writing.

When Pratt first took over, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, not being completely familiar with his work. Now, it is just all bad. No consistency, no stories that make sense, just one horrific plot point after the next. This show is one continuous train wreck and when there is a slight shred of good, it is immediately wiped out by a whole lot of bad.

Twister Pratt and his team has done more damage to this show then the fictional one did to PV. Character history and integrity - gone - romance - nonexistent - adventure, mystery, social issues, not even a second thought. All that is left is, well, you see it. What good is there?

I credit the actors - Thorsten, Alicia, Michael, David, Susan, for doing the best they can with the garbage they are handed -but they and their viewers deserve a whole lot better.

and we all know where Twister Pratt picked up that writing style.....Uncle Bob!!!

I honestly think they want us to hate them. That is the only logical explanation I can come up with for the 400th baby in peril story in 6 years.

I can't wait for you to comment on the horrible creepiness of Claudia giddily skipping up the stairs to have sex with Sonny, who was following her like "okay, fine. you win. i'll have sex with you."

And also the creepy little girl talking to Robin.

I agree with the horribleness that is PV under Pratts reign and what makes me want to runscreaming into the streets is that due to Thorsten and Alicia Zach/Kendall I have not been able to make myself leave PV completely. What is up with those ratings anyway?? Are they fudging them the way the last admisitration did with he economic numbers???

If anyone needs verification that the title of Mallory's latest brilliance is the truest true, be sure to read this latest bit of sludge from the Prattmeister general.

In it, he manages to insult the audience, and the cast of AMC. Apparently, they all need to 'watch out' for 'non ass kissing' Luner.

Warning: Julie Hanan Craputhers also speaks. You may want to check your gag reflex.

They want this show cancelled. I'm convinced.


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